


Moonshine

by Polkadotdotdot



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst, But occasionally not, Conflicted John Seed, Drama, Emotional Baggage, Enemies to Lovers, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff, Following a timeline of my OC canon, Hidden Relationships, Hope County but kind of a Rom-Sit-Com, Hurt/Comfort, Jumping Timeline, Love/Hate, Miscarriage, NSFW, One Shot Collection, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Power Dynamics, Secret Relationship, Sex, Smut, So read the notes!, Soft John Seed, Toxic Relationships, it's complicated - Freeform, sinning is winning, slightly OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 08:34:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 108,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22493143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polkadotdotdot/pseuds/Polkadotdotdot
Summary: Life in Hope County, Montana is always interesting.Especially when you find yourself in a secret relationship with the figurehead of a Religious cult.This is the story of Deputy Rhiannon "Rey" Jackson, her relationship with John Seed and her life in Hope County. Told throughout different points of their relationship before, during and after the conflict.
Relationships: Deputy | Judge/John Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/John Seed
Comments: 154
Kudos: 261





	1. Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I've been writing in other fandoms for ages now but my thirsty ass is completely obsessed with Far Cry 5. 
> 
> Tags to be added as the chapters progress, but I always leave trigger warnings in the notes.
> 
> Some chapters will revolve around the same timeline, I guess you could say it's my OC canon. Any chapter that falls outside of that will have a note left with "Alternative timeline" in the notes :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While waiting for Rey to turn up for her nightly visit, John overhears a conversation that inspires a new nickname for his Deputy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict. Rey and John have just started seeing each other.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Smut, NSFW

“I’m telling you, I _saw_ it!”

“You didn’t see shit!”

Normally John paid little mind to the idle chatter of the Chosen, the loyal Eden’s Gate followers who he’d charged with protecting his property. The Seed ranch included a beautiful expanse of land, a runway, and his own personal plane hanger. Knowing how badly the Hope County resistance wanted to take over Eden’s Gate compounds, John had almost doubled the security on his grounds.

It was late, the huge moon hanging high in the black of night, illuminating the beauty of the Montana countryside. The forest next to the Seed ranch was blissfully peaceful, the occasional sound of wild animals in the distance.

Walking past the main doors of his home, he overheard the comment that caught his curiosity.

“I did!” The first man cried, “I’m telling you, I saw every second of it,”

“You know lying is a sin, brother,” the second man admonished, “You know how I know you’re lying?”

“How?”

“Because if you really saw her, you’d be fucking dead!”

_Her_?

Now _that_ really did grab his attention. An eyebrow raised, John sauntered closer to the open door, listening intently.

“I barely made it out!” The first man protested, “When she hit that outpost with those little sinners, she had a damn _cougar_ with her! That cat was shredding us left, right and centre,”

“I heard she has a _bear_ too!” The second man added with enthusiasm, slowly buying into the gossip, “And a dog,”

“Dog ain’t as cool as a bear or a cougar,” he shrugged, “I heard that she single-handedly stole back Nick Rye’s plane. Flew it back and everything!”

“Yeah, and then she took out about 30 of our boys with just a handgun and a rifle when we were trying to grab Rye’s sinner wife!”

John chuckled under his breath hearing the gossip. None of it was exaggerated, the woman in question had, in fact, done all those things.

“I’m telling you, man, the things that girl can do...it ain’t human!” The first man declared. The second scratched his beard, his rifle hanging from his shoulder.

“What do you mean she ain’t human? She bleeds the same as the rest of them!”

“Nah, she’s been in car wrecks, plane crashes, firefights and I still ain’t seen her go down,” the man exclaimed. The second man huffed, growing exasperated with the conversation.

“Fine,” he snapped, “If she ain’t human then what is she? Hm?”

The first man stood silently contemplating, rubbing his own shaggy beard in thought until he snapped his fingers, an idea coming to light.

“She’s the angel of death!”

“The angel of...what?! Have you been huffing the bliss?!” The second man cried, staring incredulously at his partner.

John had to bite his fist to keep from laughing out loud, tears almost forming in his eyes at the ridiculous conversation.

“Think about it! How has that woman survived _so_ much?!”

“No, you think about it,” the second man fired back, “We are the chosen, we have been selected by The Father himself. We follow the will of God and there is no way that woman is the angel of death!”

“But what about…”

“Is everything alright out here brothers?”

John had heard enough. As entertaining as it was, he wasn’t about to let that kind of fanciful gossip spread among the suggestive minds of his people.

On seeing their leader, the two men snapped to attention.

“Yes, John! Sorry, everything is fine here,” the second man answered, “Just trying to tell my friend here that he’s been seeing things. Maybe too much of the bliss for him!” He babbled, making excuses.

John’s reputation for being unpredictable and unhinged had been built through action. They knew exactly what he was capable of, standing rigidly to attention. 

“Bliss can be potent,” John answered coolly, “but let me put your mind at ease. There is no ‘angel of death’. The deputy is just another soul who has to atone for her sins, am I clear?”

“Yes, John!” The first man said, the pair both nodding shakily.

“Good. Spotted anything suspicious tonight?” John asked.

Both men shook their heads.

“No, all clear.”

“Excellent. The house is to be locked down and I am not to be disturbed, is that understood?”

Both men nodded again. John turned to head back into the house. Methodically he checked every room, only leaving on the occasional lamp for security, whistling a random tune to himself as he ascended the stairs towards the master suite. 

Approaching the luxurious bedroom, he smirked at the beam of light illuminating the space from the master bathroom to the right, steam swirling through the light with the sound of running water.

He approached the entry, leaning on the doorframe of the bathroom, crossing his arms casually with an amused smile.

“By all means, deputy, help yourself to my shower,”

He heard her giggle from the huge shower stall.

“Don’t mind if I do,” she replied behind the fogged glass, “You could always join me, you know?”

John didn’t have to be told twice. Kicking off his boots first, he rapidly shed his clothes, leaving them on the floor along with hers. He slid open the shower door, stepping into the stream of hot water next to her.

Instantly she was in his arms, pushed against the tiles with an insistent kiss. He could feel her smile against his lips, his hand pinning her wrists above her head, water cascading down their naked bodies.

“I missed you,” he confessed when they finally separated to take a breath, leaning his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and taking solace in the fact that she was with him. 

“Getting all soft on me John?” She teased, but buried her head in the crook of his neck, “I missed you too,” He relaxed at her words, the tension draining from his shoulders, “What’s wrong, huh?”

“You’re late,” he said simply, “I don’t like it when you’re late,”

“I couldn’t leave when I wanted to. Grace needed to talk about some things then I had to get here from Falls End without _your men_ seeing me,” she pointed out, turning in his arms to grab the expensive shampoo, “I feel like I’ve brought the whole forest in my hair,”

With her back to him, John took the time to examine her body, his sharp blue eyes inspecting every mark on her skin. He frowned. There were new bruises forming across the back of her shoulder and hip. 

This arrangement of theirs, he had no idea what it would turn into when he first kissed her. He'd always been intrigued by her, the way she didn't fall for his lines or how she insisted on calling him Mr Seed for the longest time. He'd fought against his attraction.

  
He’d done everything he could to break her, to hunt her down and she continued to surprise him by giving as good as she got.

She wasn’t afraid of him.

During a particularly nasty firefight, she had taken the chance to pursue him on her own, the diametrically opposed foes finding themselves cut off from their respective backups in the dark of the woods.

They had fought, Rey launching herself to tackle him to the ground, sending them rolling down a hill to the bank of the Henbane River, John landing on top of her. 

He remembered how wild she’d looked, her dark hair tangled, chest heaving with the exertion staring up at him with bright, hazel eyes. They’d been silent, the only sounds coming from the gentle rush of water and their own laboured breathing.

He’d kissed her then. He’d given in to temptation, fully expecting her to scream, to buck her hips and shove him into the river. 

She didn’t.

A brief moment of stillness, to process, but her lips soon gave, accepting his tongue with a subtle moan. A few seconds of bliss was broken when she’d broken away, staring at him like a startled animal and throwing him off to run away as quickly as she could. John had only smiled, his fingers tracing his lips.

The next night she had appeared in his home, just as confused and lust-crazed as he was. She’d cried his name in the dark, his teeth sinking into her shoulder as she’d raked her nails down his back.

It had been hedonistic, carnal, _sinful_ and John had punished himself for it in his solitude. 

They didn’t talk about their situation or the future. Her almost nightly visit to his ranch was a chance to escape, to live in their own self contained nirvana where nobody could reach them.

She sighed happily, John’s hands taking over massaging the soap out of her hair as she leaned back against his chest. Those hands that had tortured, curved sins into bodies and skinned people alive, but with her, they were only as rough as she allowed.

And right then, they were working magic, releasing tension from her scalp downward. 

“Oh no, you better not be falling asleep on me now, deputy!” He admonished lightly, “You just got here. How did you get in this time anyway?”

He reached past her, turning off the water and helping her step out into the warmth of a large, fluffy towel. She smiled victoriously, drying her skin and squeezing the excess water from her hair.

“Skylight,” she smiled, nodding towards the large window on the roof of the bedroom, leaving the steamy bathroom behind.

“Hmm. I’ll have to get my security to look at that,” he pondered, wrapping his own towel around his waist and pushing the longer strands of his hair back. 

Rey sat on the king-size bed, absently drying her hair. 

“Trying to make it harder for me to get to you?”

“You know I always leave some way for you to creep in,” he answered softly, almost sadly, “But then again, maybe I don’t need to. You are the ‘angel of death’ after all!”

Rey stopped drying her hair, dropping the towel to stare at him.

“I’m...wait, what?!” She spluttered with disbelief.

John laughed deeply, holding his scarred chest.

“Some of our followers seem to hold you in high regard,” he explained, “You've become something of a legend in these parts. Turning up to gunfights with all kinds of zoo animals, surviving unspeakable disasters,” 

His voice lowered, a dangerous glint in his icy eyes as he stalked her onto the bed, their towels dropping when he crawled over her body. Rey laughed, his nose tickling her temple while his forearms braced at either side of her head. His beard tickled the delicate skin of her neck as he pressed a kiss to her jaw, delicately grazing with his teeth.

“What do you say, angel? Are you going to be the death of me?”

Rey sucked in a breath, breathing in the spiced scent of him. Opening her eyes, she found him gazing down at her intently. She traced a hand over his cheek, noticing how he leaned into the touch. She smiled sadly.

“Not if you kill me first,”

No words. The lawyer, the frontman, the eloquent John Seed was lost as the weight of her statement settled on them. 

So he kissed her. 

Her arms snaked around his neck, arching her body against him, her lean legs wrapping around his waist. He moaned into the kiss, the feel of her heat grinding against his rapidly hardening length.

This was lust, he told himself, pure unadulterated lust. She meant nothing to him, a warm body for him to indulge in. He’d kill her tomorrow if he had to and he’d atone for this later.

But as she whimpered his name, his cock sliding to the hilt, her heel at his lower back encouraging him deeper, he knew he was lying to himself.

And lying was a sin.

“Fuck, oh fuck,” she cursed breathlessly, her nails digging into his tattooed shoulders as he rocked into her, hips meeting in harmony driving them both towards the precipice of release.

Sometimes when they fucked it was urgent, barely enough time to strip before they were rutting like animals against any surface they could find.

Sometimes he teased her, taking full control and edging her slowly until tears of frustration formed in her eyes. He was an expert at it. She expected no less from The Baptist.

But other times it was needy. They held each other close as lips trailed across skin, suckling marks of possession, sweat building, moving as one and reassuring the other that they weren’t alone.

Tonight was needy. Her legs locked around him, his forehead resting on hers with eyes closed, whispering sweet nothings as sacred as a prayer. 

He was a loaded gun, the fire that crept up the hollow walls and at least for tonight, he was hers.

And she was his.

“Give it to me,” he growled, teeth nipping at her collarbone where his head had fallen, “Give me everything,”

He was all around her, invading her senses until she could do nothing but what he asked, her back arching with a cry as she came for him, John working her raw through every second until he followed with an animalistic snarl.

They lay still, breathing hard as their erratic heartbeats began to slow. Carefully, he pulled from her, both still sensitive. He rolled his weight off her body, immediately pulling her to his side.

He closed his eyes as she kissed his chest, her hand gently dancing over the crossed out ‘sloth’ scar he bore.

“One day...one day, I will kill you,” he promised.

There was no confidence in his words.

“One day...,” she echoed.

Silently, he cast his gaze to the stars shining through the skylight.

00000

He hadn’t opened his eyes but John was conscious of movement in his bedroom. 

This too was a well-practised part of their routine. The sun hadn’t begun to rise but the longer she was absent from Falls End, the more likely people would begin to question where she was going. 

Quietly Rey tip-toed around his room, pulling on her clothes and boots, tying her hair back from her face then strapping her guns back to her leg holster. He could hear the crackle of her testing her radio.

Pretending to be asleep was easier on both of them. It meant there was no goodbye, no mention of when they might see each other again or worse, under what circumstances.

The mattress dipped with her weight, her lips brushing against his cheek but he remained as he was. The kiss was a new development, she never used to do that. 

Not that he was complaining.

He fought a frown hearing her sigh as she stood from the bed.

“God help me,” she whispered, “I think I’m falling in love with you,”

Her footsteps grew faint until he was left alone in the silence of the bedroom. Rolling to his back, John smiled.

“I love you too,”


	2. Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deputy Rey Jackson hasn't heard from John Seed in almost a week and wants to know where they stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict. Rey and John have slept together off and on for a few weeks but haven't established a dedicated relationship yet.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Mild violence

Rey was exhausted.

When Jerome had asked her to carry out an extra patrol around Holland Valley, she hadn’t thought anything of it, saying yes almost immediately. She needed the distraction, something to keep her mind occupied and it meant the rebel pastor was happy. In theory, everybody should have won.

The reality had meant walking around all day with Sharky Boshaw. Rey preferred to keep her patrols on the quiet side, doing silent reconnaissance that could be useful later, only firing her gun when absolutely necessary.

Sharky was as stealthy as a grenade going off in a firework factory.

The result had been a lot of running, shouting and decidedly unchristian cursing. 

When Sharky had decided he wanted more action, Rey did nothing to stop him skipping off into the night, his flamethrower in hand. She bid him goodbye, screaming after him to be careful.

“One of these days that man is going to literally blow himself to pieces,” she muttered, watching him head back towards the east of Hope County. 

At least with the late hour, the little town of Falls End was peaceful. Most residents, resistance members, who remained would have turned in for the night. Rey took a deep breath of cool air, gazing up to the clear sky, a blanket of twinkling lights and crescent moon on an inky backdrop.

Seeing there was nobody around, she reached for her radio. The thing had been silent for most of the day, the occasional check-in from Sheriff Whitehorse and Dutch coming through, but nothing else. There had been nobody else for almost a week. The radio unclipped from her belt, she pressed the button, her mouth opening to speak.

But the words didn’t come.

A heavy sigh took hold, releasing the button and clipping the radio back to her belt. Her shoulders sagging as she wandered the empty street. The cabin she’d commandeered was just on the other side of town, but after the day she’d had a drink was definitely in order. 

The pink neon sign of the Spread Eagle stood out for miles as did the high pitched laughter inside. 

“Rey! Rey’s here!”

She bit her tongue to silence her groan. Everyone had cleared out for the night, except Grace, Kim Rye and Adelaide. Each woman had amassed a substantial collection of empties in front of them, glassy-eyed and rosy-cheeked. By the time Rey had realized, it was too late to back out quietly. She had been spotted.

“Come and join us for a drink darlin’!” Adelaide called, “Mary just gave us the keys. Told us to lock up when we’re done!”

“Sounds like you ladies should have been done hours ago,” Rey smirked, hopping behind the bar to get herself a glass.

“Nonsense, we’re just getting to the good stuff!” Adelaide sniggered.

Rey poured herself a large bourbon.

“And what is that?”

The three ladies on the other side of the bar shared sly looks, all trying not to giggle.

“ _If_ you had to...which Seed brother would you fuck?” 

Rey should have known better than to throw back her drink at the same time Adelaide was talking. The woman was filth personified and seemingly insatiable. The bourbon hit the back of her throat, burning a trail down as she coughed and wheezed. Her far more inebriated friends fell about themselves laughing.

“Excuse you?!” she spluttered, “The Seed brothers? The kidnappers and torturers? Are you _really_ asking me that?”

“Oh, you sound just like Mary!” Grace scoffed, slurring her words slightly, “It’s just a bit of fun!”

_And aren’t we being a bit of a hypocrite?_

She poured herself another drink.

“I think I’d definitely go for Jacob,” Grace pondered, swirling the amber liquid in her glass, “The dude is an ex-soldier. We’d have a lot in common,”

“This isn’t about having anything in common, sweetheart!” Adelaide reminded her, “It’s about getting down and dirty,”

“He’s also built like a bear!” Grace reminded, slugging back her drink, “I like them rough!”

The women dissolved into high pitched howls, hands being slapped on the bar and glasses being knocked over in their hilarity.

“See, I gotta admit, I like those ripped slender types!” Adelaide babbled, “They might call Joseph ‘The Father’ but you better believe I'd be calling him ‘Daddy!’ Can I get an amen, ladies?!” she cried, throwing her hands in the air, the other women continuing their laughter.

In spite of herself, Rey couldn’t help her own giggles. The conflict had seemingly crawled to a stalemate for now, but morale was difficult to keep high. It was nice to see her friends spending at least one night carefree and unburdened. 

Even if the conversation was threatening to give her a panic attack.

She finished another shot, letting the spiced liquor do its job.

“Hey, what about that John Seed?” Kim said, so intoxicated Rey could barely make out what she said from the garbled mess of a sentence.

“What about him?” Rey shrugged flippantly, fixing her eyes on the bar, hoping they were all too drunk to notice her discomfort.

“He’s cute!” Kim blurted.

“Nah, he’s too short!” Grace dismissed.

“He’s at least 5’10!” Rey snapped indignantly, recovering herself quickly, “I...uh...I think,”

“Right? He’s such a good dresser, the dark hair you just want to mess up and, oh my God, those baby blue eyes!” Kim gushed, “No wonder he’s the cult poster boy!”

“I agree!” Adelaide cheered, “All three of those boys are lookers. It’s a real shame they all got screws loose. Well, come on Rey, you’ve still to tell us who you think?”

“Who I think what?” She asked awkwardly, glancing towards the door.

“Who would you fuck if you absolutely had to?!”

Rey took a deep breath, staring down at the drink on the bar. The bourbon had been doing a good job so far, but she was more exhausted than her friends realized and peace of her cabin was calling.

Picking up the glass, she downed her final few fingers of booze.

“I think...you are all going to feel like shit in the morning,” she smiled, “Good night, girls!”

There were many protests as she left the bar, Kim going as far as to try and grab her arm to pull her back, the drunk woman almost falling off her stool. Rey laughed them off, wishing them a good night and reminding them to drink water before they crashed in bed.

Silence fell around her again, her boots crunching on the dirt road as she crossed the town towards her cabin on the outskirts.

Her fingers twitched, the hand hanging by the radio reaching then refraining again. 

“Get a fucking grip, Jackson,” she muttered, “You’re acting like a moon-eyed smitten teenager!”

John Seed wasn't someone she considered shy. He always had a response, a comeback, a contingency. From his arrogant manner to his piercing gaze, he was every inch the successful lawyer.

He delighted in the chase, in claiming what he assumed was his. He’d even hacked into her radio just to make sure she knew he could contact her whenever he wanted.

So why wasn’t he speaking to her now?

The cabin sat eerily quiet in the dark, nestled in the trees. She grinned genuinely at the animal sleeping outside her front door, Boomer’s tail wagging excitedly.

“Hey boy! Did you miss me?” She gushed, bending down to hug the shaggy dog, “Where did you go, huh? Sharky too much for you too?”

The dog barked, whining afterwards and licking her arm.

“At least you want to talk to me,” she grumbled, “Come on, bedtime!”

Had she locked the door before leaving? Grasping the handle, the door gave easily, swinging open with a loud squeak. Rey frowned, taking a tentative step into the cabin, reaching for her flashlight. 

Something grabbed her, a hand covering her mouth to stifle her surprised scream. She kicked her feet, being pulled against a body as she dropped the flashlight, the beam spinning wildly in the dark.

“I would have thought you of all people would be a little more cautious, deputy,” a familiar voice teased at her ear, the second arm holding her tightly around the waist, “You never know who is lurking in the dark!”

“Jesus suffering fuck, John!” She gasped, writhing to free herself from his grip, “Are you trying to give me a heart attack? You could have called in first,”

“Where would the fun be?” He teased, relenting when she wriggled free from him.

She slapped the switch by the side of the door to turn on the lights, her hand hitting a little harder than intended.

John stood in the centre of the cabin, just as handsome and infuriating as always only he looked as tired as she felt. Dark circles fell under his blue eyes. He smoothed his coat, looking around the basic space.

“You're back late,”

“John, what are you doing here?” Rey sighed, crossing past him to sit on the arm of the beaten sofa.

Boomer had pushed his way inside, growling under his breath and circling John warily before coming to sit by Rey’s side. John looked confused.

“I came to see you,” he answered as if it were so obvious.

“To see me? You know, just admit that you’ve got what you wanted,” she sighed sadly, “You were relentless, you sold me on a lot of very pretty words, and of course I fell for them…” 

“No, that’s not…”

“...and I haven’t seen or even heard anything from you since,” she finished, “Hell, even your men have been quiet. So I’ll rephrase the question: where have you been, John?”

The confused concern he wore slowly changed shame as he remained silent. Rey sat patiently, waiting for him to speak. His gaze was cast to the floor, wringing his hands uncomfortably.

“I had to atone for my sins,” he answered quietly, “I had to go to Joseph,”

“Did you tell him?” She asked, approaching and forcing him to face her.

John shook his head.

“I didn't tell him it was you!” He snapped, “Rey, you have no idea how conflicted I’ve been…”

“How conflicted _you’ve_ been?!” She cried, “John, don’t you understand? The things you’ve done, kidnapping, drugging, torture...I should _hate_ you!”

“Why don’t you?” He growled, closing in on her until they stood chest to chest, his sharp eyes narrowing. 

“Because...I…”

_Because I know you...and you know me..._

She closed her eyes, feeling his forehead meet hers, his hands caressing her arms.

“I know you’re afraid,” he whispered, “but you don’t have to be. I feel it too,”

“We have feelings now?” She questioned with a half-hearted smirk, attempting levity but John’s blazing blue stare was stripping her to the bone.

_No wonder he made such a good lawyer…_

“Tell me you don’t,” he demanded, “Tell me that you want me to leave. Hell, why don’t you do your precious resistance a favour and just shoot me?”

The flippancy of his question took her back and she hated that he knew she wouldn’t do it. Killing him would save so much trouble. It would send the peggies in John’s region of Holland Valley scattering. The resistance would be in a stronger position for it and they’d herald her as a hero.

He smelled of gunpowder and expensive sandalwood aftershave. She shook her head. 

“No,” she said, almost the whine of a petulant child, “I don’t want to shoot you…and I don’t want you to go. I should but I _don’_ t. How can I trust a word you say? You’ve made a life out of manipulation!”

“And I am trying to make up for it! Everything I am doing is to atone for my mistakes!” He shouted, turning to pace in front of her, “I have never lied to you, Rey, but I’m not about to waste my energy trying to convince you if your mind's made up!”

Striding towards her with purpose, Boomer jumped from the bed, barking wildly and pushing his way between the two. John stepped back, holding his hands up defensively until the dog relaxed, standing loyally at Rey’s heel. 

“We can walk away right now,” he stated, “We can forget anything ever happened between us but I don’t want to. I would accept you as you are, sins and all. Can you say the same?”

_Sins and all_

Indignation rose like bile in her throat, ready to defend herself but she paused knowing he had a point. Her hand drifted to the ‘Wrath’ tattoo he had etched into the skin on her chest, the scar still itchy as it healed. How many people had she killed since this holy war began? Could she really say that it was _all_ in self-defence?

The adrenaline rush of pulling a trigger could be more intoxicating that Bliss ever was.

John brushed past her towards the door, his fingers grazing hers as it did, the contact sending a shiver through her body.

“When you figure it out, deputy, you know where to find me,”

00000

Sleep was useless.

Rey had lain awake half the night staring at the ceiling through a veil of tears. Her mind spun trying to make sense of how she found herself in this situation and what she wanted to do about it. 

If they were found, her friends were certain to cast her out, leaving her with nowhere to go except Eden’s Gate. Would that have been so bad? They weren’t all _bad_ people. Easily lead, looking for a purpose, needing something to believe in and finding it in Joseph. 

Hell, maybe she could turn it into something positive and convince John to leave Project Eden’s Gate altogether? She sighed, finally accepting that she wouldn’t get any more sleep, pushing herself out of bed. There was no way John would ever turn on his own family.

She threw her long dark hair back into a lazy ponytail, tendrils of her hair hanging around her freshly washed face. Grabbing the nearest clean clothes she could, Rey headed outside into the sunny Montana morning. It was still early, the sky splitting into various shades of orange, casting a warm glow over the small town.

Coffee may not help her mood but it might convince her body she was awake.

The smell of freshly brewed beans assaulted her senses when she pushed her way into the small diner, finding it predictably empty for so early in the morning.

“Good morning, deputy!” Adelaide called from her booth. 

Rey quirked an eyebrow, amazed that the woman was even awake, let alone as perky as she was. Wandering over, she took a seat.

“Morning,” Rey smiled, “Not to sound rude but with the amount you drank last night, shouldn’t you be dead?”

“Aw hell no!” Adelaide laughed, “I’ve been drinking for so long, I guess my body is just used to it. Grace was kind enough to let me crash over so I didn’t have to make the trip back. Thought I'd grab myself a little breakfast before I take Tulip home,”

Rey wanted to point out that Adelaide was no doubt still over the legal limit to drive, let alone fly a small helicopter, but when coffee was put down in front of her, the exercise seemed pointless. Steadily, she began dumping sugar into the black liquid.

“Are you alright, darlin’?” Adelaide asked, concern on her face.

Rey picked up her coffee, unsure where to begin.

_I think I’m falling in love with a sociopathic murderer who happens to be the herald of a doomsday cult. You know? The one we’re at war with? Yeah, him. It’s going well, thanks for asking…_

“I, uh, I didn’t sleep well last night,” she muttered. 

Adelaide narrowed her eyes, Rey squirming under the scrutiny of the inspection.

“Is it boy trouble?”

It was the second time in 24 hours Adelaide had caused Rey to choke on a drink.

“Aha, so it _is_ about a boy! Who is it? Anyone I know?”

_Oh, I’d say so…_

Rey wiped her mouth, snatching some napkins from the dispenser on the table.

“Uh, no. You don’t know him,” she coughed, “He’s from out of town…”

“So, tell your ol’ pal Addy what’s going on,” Adelaide smiled, “Maybe I can help you. I _do_ have some experience in that department!”

Rey took a deep breath. She couldn’t tell the whole truth but maybe it would feel good to get some things off her chest.

“So, me and this guy...It’s not exactly simple. He’s done a lot of _bad_ stuff, I mean, really bad. And I know I shouldn’t want to be around him but I do,” 

Adelaide nodded as she listened intently.

“Oh, so he’s a bad boy? Gotta love those dark side types!” Adelaide grinned, “Is that the only problem?”

“I just...I know I’m not perfect either,” Rey sighed, “He says he’d accept me, sins and all...I just don’t know if I can do the same,”

Rey reached for another napkin, dabbing her watering eyes. Adelaide put down her mug of coffee.

“Let me tell you something I learned during my first marriage: You can’t change people and people can’t change just for you. They have to want it for themselves. So what you need to ask yourself is do your feelings outweigh the things he’s done? Do you feel strongly enough to forgive him?”

“I...I don’t know,”

“Well, how does he make you feel?” Adelaide pushed, “That’s the most important thing,”

Rey sat thoughtfully still for a moment, staring off into nothing.

“He...I think he’s the first person who has ever really _seen_ me,” she wondered, “I don’t know how but he just gets me. He knows me better than anyone. He makes me feel important, wanted, but...other people, they won’t accept him...”

“Sounds to me like you’re really falling for this guy,” Adelaide pondered aloud, “Fuck other people, what do _you_ want?”

Other people. Those who constantly asked her to help them, to follow their orders and run their errands. They looked at her like she was a one-woman army and she was so tired of it. Rey smiled.

  
“I want him,” she answered honestly, “Holy shit...I do. I want him, I want to be with him. I need to talk to him!” she cried, draining her coffee and jumping out of the booth, “I gotta go!”

“Good for you, honey!” Adelaide called, raising her mug to the girl almost tripping over her feet to run from the diner.

“Boomer, stay!” Rey shouted behind her.

Barking his response, the good boy sat by Adelaide, his head tilted.

00000

A plan probably would have been wise.

Hell, a quieter vehicle would have been helpful.

Her epiphany had crashed down on her like a bucket of ice water, leaving her with a tunnel vision objective that only seemed to be concerned with finding John. Not what she would say or do when she came face to face with him.

The quad bike roared along the road, as quiet as a marching band, announcing her location to every peggie in the vicinity. Approaching the outskirts of the ranch, she at least had the wherewithal to continue on foot.

Carefully she crouched along the grass, creeping towards the back gate. If she knew John, he would be inside the house, either in his study or still in the master suite. 

“Okay, so, I’ll get inside and...what will I say?” she muttered to herself, her eyes trained on the bedroom window, squinting to try and see more clearly, “What the fuck will I say?”

It didn’t matter.

Her train of thought was broken by the butt of a gun smashing her in the temple. The last thing she saw was the bemused Eden’s gate convert standing over her, swinging his rifle. It served her right, really. What kind of experienced fighter sat in the open talking to themselves?

A flash of pain and darkness followed.

00000

“Let me be perfectly clear about this. If she doesn’t wake up, none of you will see the next sunrise, understand?”

The pain was the first thing she felt. Like a bomb going off between her ears, Rey scrunched her eyes, wincing as conscious thought began to creep in. Where the fuck was she? Experimentally moving her hands, the surface below was incredibly soft, the scent of freshly washed cotton catching her nose.

Someone familiar was shouting. They didn’t sound happy. A door slammed, the noise piercing her already delicate disposition. Footsteps grew closer to wherever she was lying, the surface dipping with the person's weight.

“Rey?” 

_Oh no…_

“Rey, can you hear me?” 

Of course, it had to be him. The person she was trying to get to in the first place and now she found herself lying on his Egyptian cotton sheets with a killer headache and what she could only assume was a nasty looking wound.

Rey groaned.

“Come on, angel, open your eyes,” 

His voice was so much softer than she’d ever heard it. Her chest tightened, feeling his hand brush the side of her cheek. Cautiously, she opened her eyes, relieved that the light in the room was dull.

“There she is,” he smiled, “If you were trying to return that scare from last night, there are easier ways to go about it,”

“Urgh, I feel like my head has been run over,” she groaned, reaching for the point of impact.

Three stitches. Cautiously, she began to sit up, her head immediately spinning.

“Careful, you’ve no doubt got a concussion!” John warned, reaching to steady her from his place sitting on the side of the large bed.

“Yup. Feels that way,” Rey sighed, hoping she wasn’t too flushed with embarrassment, “Well, this didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped…”

“What were you doing just...sitting outside the gates?” he asked, “I thought you were more careful than that,”

Rey had the grace to look sheepish. Normally she was far more focused. Hell, she’d snuck into the Seed ranch plenty of times and had never once been caught. Awkwardly, Rey cleared her throat, trying to ignore his single raised eyebrow.

“I was coming to see you,” she answered quietly, suddenly very interested in his navy sheets.

“I gathered…”

“Because I was thinking about what you said,” she continued, ignoring his dry comment, “and...it’s yes,”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” she nodded, “I do accept you as you are. I want _this_. Whatever the fuck this is,”

John examined her closely, his pupils moving rapidly as if scanning her expression for any hint of deception. Finding nothing, he broke into a knowing smile.

“Joseph said this would happen,” he chuckled, “I should have known better than to doubt him,”

“Joseph...wait, what?”

Her confused frown stung the stitches on her face. John took hold of her hands, his smile the most excited she’d ever seen.

“Remember I told you the reason I hadn’t been around was that I had to atone for my sin and I needed his guidance?” he explained, “I thought that my feelings for you were wrong, but Joseph made me see things differently. What if God brought us together to find peace? To guide one another down a righteous path?”

Rey was quiet, her throbbing head slowly processing what he was telling her. He thought that God had brought them together, that somehow their fucked up relationship was the plan of a higher being. That they would save each other. 

Maybe it was completely crazy, maybe it was just blind faith, but she’d never seen him look so carefree.

“Do...do you believe that?” She asked, enjoying the feeling of his thumbs tracing her palms.

He swooped forward, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. Her head still pounded, but she relaxed against him nevertheless.

“I believe in us,” he stated clearly, “and that’s enough,”

Rey smiled, leaning her forehead against his. 

  
“That’s enough,” she agreed. 

John kicked off his boots, shuffling himself onto the bed. Rey cuddled herself into his side, enjoying the warmth of his body and the release she felt from her confession. 

“John?” she said, breaking the silence.

“Yes?”

“What happened to the guy who hit me?” 

John pressed a kiss gently to her crown, the arm around her stroking her bare arm casually.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s dead,”

_Oh_


	3. Sharky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharky Boshaw wants a girlfriend and decides the deputy is the perfect woman.
> 
> It's a shame she's already got a boyfriend...and he does not like sharing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict. Rey and John have just established a committed but secret relationship
> 
> Chapter warnings: Mild violence, possessive behavior

Charlemagne Victor Boshaw IV, Sharky, liked to consider himself a free spirit.

He took pride in living life on his own terms, enjoying the little things like an ice-cold beer on a hot day, vintage disco music and the sport he and his cousin, Hurk Jr. had invented in ‘dynamite fishing’.

While many may have considered using live grenades to fish a little excessive and almost definitely illegal, Sharky considered it practical.

But it wasn’t all beautiful explosions, dead fish and contaminated water. What good was living your best life if you didn’t have someone to share it all with?

“What you need is a good woman,” his Aunt Adelaide professed, “That’ll sort you out good and proper!”

Hope County wasn’t as big as people thought and with the conflict between the Resistance and the Peggies, ‘good women’ weren’t easy to find.

That was until Deputy Jackson waltzed into his life.

God knows how she found him at the Moonflower trailer park. Maybe it was fate or perhaps it was the disco music cranked all the way up to eleven and the sound of explosions? Whatever the case, she had come to him in his hour of need, slaughtering deranged ‘angels’ like a woman on a mission and saving his ass.

He remembered the look in her eyes as she stared at him afterward, a beautiful combination of confusion, horror, and impatience that took his breath away.

Rey Jackson was everything he could want in a woman. She was gorgeous with long brunette hair, shining hazel eyes, and faintly tanned skin. She was far more intelligent than he would ever be, but that was okay, he liked hearing her talk about things he didn’t really understand. 

Most of all, she cared about people. Really cared. There wasn’t a day went by that Rey wasn’t lending a hand or helping someone in need. The only drawback was that sometimes her helpful ways caused her to disappear, sometimes for days at a time.

But he knew where she was today. Hope County Jail.

He’d done his research. Normally, Rey liked to stay near Falls End in Holland Valley, keeping tabs on the activity of John Seed’s region for Sheriff Whitehorse. Sharky admired how dedicated she was to the job, but today, she was East.

Wandering through the makeshift command center, he found her in a large storeroom with Grace Armstrong, both holding clipboards. His face held a dopey smile. Rey had braided her hair back from the sides of her head, pulling the rest into a high ponytail. Her green deputy shirt and a white tee underneath clung to her slender body with her jeans like a second skin, his eyes lingering on her form for longer than he intended.

“Hey, Dep!” Sharky called, waving as he entered the storeroom.

Both ladies were startled by the sudden intrusion but only Rey responded, Grace, going back to her task without a second thought.

“Hey, Sharky, what’s up?”

“Oh nothing!” he grinned, “What are you doing?”

“Counting the armory,” she smiled politely, “Might need to take a few things back to Falls End, we’re running low.”

“Cool! I mean, not cool you’re running low...cool you’re taking stuff back,” he babbled, “How, uh, how're things in Holland Valley?”

Rey shifted uncomfortably, glancing at her checklist, anxious to continue her work.

“Things are actually pretty okay,” she said, “Peggies have been quiet, leaving us alone. It’s given us a lot of time to regroup and recharge.”

“Sweet!” Sharky enthused, “Hey, uh, Rey...I wanted to ask you something…”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. The way she was looking at him with those large eyes, a perfectly manicured eyebrow raising. Sharky began to feel hot under the collar, his ears starting to burn.

“Yeah?”

“Um...Do you...I mean, uh…”

“Are you alright? You’re not blinking…”

“Your name!” he blurted out, “Is...is your name short for anything?”

Rey blinked at him, completely confused. From the other side of the room, Grace had stopped counting, slowly turning her head to listen in to the conversation.

“Uh, yeah, my full name is Rhiannon,” she said slowly, “Why?”

“Oh cool, has anyone ever told you that’s a Fleetwood Mac song?”

Rey stared at him like he’d grown a second head.

“Yes. Many, many, many, _many_ times,” she deadpanned, “Sharky, can I help you with something?”

Sharky shook his head, tripping over himself as he began to retreat from the room.

“No! No, I’m good,” he assured her, “Later, Dep!”

The door slammed behind him, leaving the women alone in the storeroom. Grace came to stand next to Rey.

“That was weird right?” Rey asked, “Because that felt very weird.”

“Weird. As. Fuck.”

00000

The first time hadn’t gone the way he had hoped.

Sharky was cursing himself, going in there bold as brass without a solid plan and in front of Grace no less! 

“Rey ain’t the type of woman you can just ask out!” Hurk Jr. preached, “She needs to know you’re interested in her hobbies, that you wanna spend time with her!”

But what did Rey enjoy doing? She rarely seemed to take any time off and when she did, nobody could find her. Her GPS would be turned off. Hell, even her radio would go down. 

She wasn’t taking a day off. He had it from a reliable source that Rey was doing some scouting in the Whitetail Mountains. The woman was more than capable of handling herself, preferring to move quietly than go in guns blazing, but what harm could it be to help her out.

Who didn’t love a friend with firepower coming to the rescue?

Her GPS signal was weak in the hills, but eventually, he found her perched among the rocks above an outpost. The area looked quiet. She didn’t even have her gun out, only looking down with binoculars.

“Hey, Dep!”

From her place in the dusting of snow, lying on her stomach, Rey jumped, almost dropping her binoculars.

“Sharky?! The fuck are you doing here?” she hissed, “Keep your voice down!”

Sharky went to his knees, crawling up to her.

  
“Sorry,” he whispered, “Thought you might need help.”

“Why?” she asked, “Thank you, I guess, but I’m not expecting to get into a fight here. I’m just doing some research for this region.”

Joining her on his stomach, he snatched the binoculars from her hands, the strap around her neck choking her as he pulled.

“What’s the situation?”

Rey pulled the strap back, rubbing her neck where the fabric had burned.

“The _situation_ is nothing. Nothing is happening. This outpost just seems to be for storage.”

“Nah, I don’t believe it. Gotta be something else going on,” he scoffed. 

“Well, believe it, because that’s all I’ve seen so far.” She replied indignantly, “You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.”

“I want to!” Sharky insisted, “I’ll just keep you company.”

“Oh good.” Rey deadpanned.

An hour passed, Rey seemingly unbothered by the chilled winds or snow, or the fact that _nothing_ was happening. 

“Aren’t you cold?” Sharky asked, “It’s cold.”

“No, because I dressed for the weather,” Rey grumbled.

“I’m bored.” Sharky whined, “Why don’t we get out of here? I know this great place we can go to get ribs!”

“I don’t want ribs. I need to finish this! I promised Earl.” She snapped, keeping her eyes on the small outpost below, “Wait, I can see something…”

“What?”

Rey zoomed-in, spotting two converts carrying a large box but there was no way to tell what was inside. It may have been weapons, but it could also have been something as innocent as canned food.

“It looks like they’re moving something, I can’t tell what.”

“Let me see!” Sharky shouted, grabbing the binoculars again and trying to stand up, almost hanging Rey in the process, “Oh shit.”

“Oh shit, what? Sharky, get down!”

“I think they’ve seen me!” he declared, doing nothing to lower his voice. 

Rey scowled, grabbing his sleeve.

“Get the fuck down, you’re going to get us killed!” she hissed.

It was too late. The men on the ground were looking up at where they were perched, pointing and shouting for help.

“We need to get out of here!” Rey shouted, jumping to her feet, “Let’s go!”

“Don’t worry deputy, I got this!”

“No, wait, you’re going to cause a…”

From the strap on his back, Sharky pulled some sticks of dynamite, lighting the fuses and dropping them down the hill, adding in a few grenades for good measure. Rey looked down the mountainside, horrified.

“...a landslide!”

The blasts shook the side of the mountain, Rey holding her breath waiting for the sound of disaster. 

“See, nothing to worry about…”

Sharky was caught short when the surface below their feet began to rumble. Rey turned wide-eyed to the peak, a stampede of rocks and mud coming right for them.

“Shit... _shit_!” She shouted, “RUN!”

There was no time to pause, Rey grabbing Sharky’s hand as she threw them down the side of the terrain to avoid being crushed by falling rock, sliding on their sides down the frozen grass and dirt to reach the bottom. Struggling to keep hold of her friend, Rey grunted and groaned with every impact her body took, both bouncing on rocks and rubble until they reached the bottom, Rey’s knee smashing hard against the ground.

Trying to stand, she cried out in pain, immediately falling. Her head throbbed, a gash opened up in her hairline, spilling blood down her forehead.

“Shit, Rey, are you okay?” Sharky panted, brushing himself off and rushing to her side.

“No!” she groaned, “My knee, I can’t put weight on my leg!”

Sharky bent down, picking her up in his arms.

“Okay, I got you. SUV ain’t far, I can get us there!” he promised. 

Rey snorted derivatively.

“Go fast. We need to get out of here! That blast will bring those peggies for miles.”

He began to jog, Rey jostling in his arms.

“Hey Rey, carrying you like this kinda makes us look like a bride and groom!” he grinned. 

Rey smacked him around the back of the head.

“Shut. Up.”

00000

By the time they had made it to a friendly outpost, Rey was in a foul mood.

Her knee was swollen, the pain radiating through the whole leg, being made worse with every bump on the road. She tried not to take it out on Sharky. Technically, it was an accident and he’d been trying to help.

Technically.

It was clear Sharky felt guilty. The whole time she was being checked by a medic he stood out of the way, a forlorn look in his eyes like a wounded pup. When she was told that it was just a bad sprain, she eased up slightly.

Sharky was adamant. He would make this up to her. He’d nurse her back to health if he had to, starting with making sure she got back to Falls End and was settled in her cabin.

Rey had been home and settled a few days now, her mood slowly improving. This was his chance. A large bouquet of sunflowers in his hand, he was about to knock on her door but could just make out her speaking inside.

“I promise you, I’m fine...it’s just a sprained knee, it will heal.”

Who was she talking to? There was a muffled sound that Sharky assumed was coming from her radio, although he couldn’t make it out who was speaking.

“No no no, you don’t need to do that!” 

Sharky frowned. She sounded so urgent.

“I want to see you too. Tonight, I’ll come tonight.” She sighed, “I miss you. Keeping this secret, it’s hard…”

Sharky has heard enough, knocking loudly on the door before walking in with a large smile on his face. Rey was sitting propped up on her bed, her sprained knee wrapped well with an ice pack over it, fumbling with the radio in her hand.

“Oh, Sharky, hi!” She exclaimed, her eyes slightly panicked.

“Hey Dep, how are you feeling?” He smiled, “Brought these for you!”

Rey gave him a genuine smile that reached her eyes, accepting the flowers.

“Wow, these are beautiful. Thank you.” She smiled, “Still sore but getting better every day. Been told to carefully move around so I don’t stiffen up and Ice it the rest of the time.”

“That’s good.” Sharky agreed. He took a deep steadying breath, “Rey, I gotta ask you something. I think you’re a real pretty girl, you’re brave and you’re smart and...I like you. Would you wanna go out sometime, like, on a date?”

He’d done it. Fit to burst with self-pride, he stood next to her bed waiting for her answer. Rey placed a hand on her chest, the ‘wrath’ tattoo she’d been given peeking out from her scoop neck tank top. 

She looked flattered. That was a good thing, right?

“Sharky, that is so sweet, but I...have a...boyfriend?” 

The upward inflection in her voice confused him. 

“Are you sure? Because you don’t sound sure?”

“Kind of. We’ve never used those…words. It’s still new...and it’s just, it’s very complicated,” she scrambled to explain, “But I am. I’m seeing someone.”

“Oh,” Sharky nodded, trying not to feel dejected, “Is it anyone I know? Have you brought him round yet?”

Rey cast her eyes to the ceiling, looking as if she was trying to solve a very difficult math problem in her head. Sharky knew those feels.

“Uh, no. He doesn’t always play well with others.” She sniggered, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it. He’s a lucky man.” 

It was over. Now he had his answer, Sharky decided the best thing to do was to leave her be but his pride was stung. Rejection was never pleasant.

Still, he wondered who in Hope County had managed to land someone like the Deputy.

00000

He didn’t have sorrows to drown per se, but any excuse for a drink was alright in Sharky’s book.

Sitting on the bridge over the Henbane River, a six-pack next to him, Sharky swung his legs over the side, gazing out towards the horizon as the sun began to lower in the sky. 

He hoped she was happy. She might not want to be his girlfriend but Rey was still a buddy, and she did a lot of good for a lot of people. She deserved to be happy.

Just as his third can approached his mouth, the world around him went black. A large sack covered him, twisting and tightening as he kicked and shouted at whoever was taking him.

“Someone wants to speak to you!” A strange voice shouted.

Sharky was tipped off his feet, being picked up by multiple hands and thrown somewhere that sounded like a van.

“Sweet dreams, sinner.”

Something smelled sweet, invading his nostrils until he felt nothing but bliss.

00000

“Wake. Up.”

The world was spinning. Or maybe he was.

Opening his eyes, Sharky found himself upside down, hanging from what looked like the rafters of a barn.

“Oh man, I think I’m gonna throw up!” Sharky groaned, someone putting their hand on his legs to stop him turning. 

“Don’t.” The person snapped, “Swallow it if you have to.”

He knew that voice. Vision clearing, from his bat-like position, Sharky could make out a number of Peggies standing around, the man in the middle wearing dark jeans, a stylish looking coat fluttering by his knees.

_Oh shit…_

John Seed bent down, his face exactly as he looked on all the billboards and TV adverts. His dark hair was pushed back, beard neatly groomed and the smile he wore was not comforting.

“Hello there. I’m Deputy Jackson’s boyfriend and I’m out of my mind.” 

_Wait, what?!_

“I’ve been hearing some very interesting things about you.” John stated, “Setting fire to people, blowing up the side of mountains...causing landslides.”

“Hey man, that could have been anyone- ooft!”

John’s fist landed firmly in Sharky’s side, winding the man and sending him swinging like a human piñata. Sharky groaned while John shook out his hand.

“Don’t interrupt me.” He snapped, “There isn’t anything that happens in this region without my knowledge and there _really_ isn’t anything that happens to the deputy without my knowledge. I know all about your pathetic attempts to try and get a date. You are not a threat, that doesn’t bother me.”

“Oh yeah, you seem real chill about it…” 

His sarcasm earned him a kick in the stomach.

“But her coming to any kind of harm? _That_ I will not tolerate.” John growled, his eyes burning as he pulled a blade from inside his coat.

“Wha...what are you going to do?” Sharky asked, his voice quivering with fear for the first time since he found himself in this position.

John grinned.

“I’m going to give you a reminder that I don’t like sharing.”

Flipping the position of the knife in his hand, John began to advance on the prone man. Sharky squirmed and wriggled as best he could, trying to break free but it was useless. He was tied too tight and the blood rushing to his head combined with the after effects of the bliss was making him dizzy.

_This is I guess...weird way to go…_

“JOHN, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

The whole room froze, the only sound coming from the squeaking rope where Sharky swung. Slowly everyone turned to the now opened barn door, Rey’s body blocking out the moonlight that streamed inside. 

Still limping badly but she did her best to storm forward. Multiple emotions flashed over John’s face at once.

“Ah, darling, you’re awake…”

“Yes, I’m awake! I woke up and you were gone.” She exclaimed, “What the hell are you doing? Cut him down right now!” she yelled, pointing to her friend.

Sharky grinned, waving as if nothing at all was amiss.

“Don’t worry about me Dep. This one time, me and Hurk made this treehouse and he ended up hanging me upside down for over six hours. I can sleep that way you know!”

“Of course you can.” John commented dryly, rolling his eyes then giving his full attention to the seething woman next to him, “Rey, he hurt you…”

“He didn’t mean it!” she sighed, placing both her hands on his face, forcing him to look at her, “Bruises heal. My leg will heal. Everything is fine.” she soothed, her thumbs stroking his cheeks tenderly.

John sighed, his face softening into an almost petulant pout. His hands rested on her hips.

“I could have lost you.” He muttered softly.

“But you didn’t. I’ve been through worse than a rockslide, Johnny Boy.” she smiled, “A lot of it from your men, actually.”

John had the good grace to look sheepish.

“Cut him down. Please?” Rey asked, reaching as best she could on her toes to press her forehead against his. 

Reluctantly, John nodded to one of his men. The rope was cut, Sharky crashing to the ground in an unceremonious heap.

“ _Gently_. Let him down, gently!” Rey hissed.

John smirked, shrugging his shoulders.

“You should have specified.” He quipped, his expression becoming serious again when he turned to Sharky, “You have two minutes to get off my property.”

Sharky pushed himself to his feet, brushing the dust off his clothes and staring between Rey and John.

“Holy shit…” Sharky gasped, “You got The Baptist whipped!”

“Why don’t we talk outside?” Rey said hurriedly, hobbling away from John’s side to lead Sharky into the open, John indignant with fresh anger from the comment.

“You shouldn’t be walking so much on that knee!” John fretted in frustration. Rey turned, leveling her finger at him.

“We’ll be having words of our own later!” she warned, “I’m _fine_.”

John pouted again, snapping his finger to tell his men to clear out.

Carefully, Rey and Sharky walked into the night air. She winced, eventually sitting down on a rock near the outside gate. Her knee was still throbbing.

“Thought you said you were fine?” Sharky asked, breaking the silence. 

Rey offered him a half-hearted smile.

“It’s still pretty tender, but it’s better I don’t tell John that. In case you hadn’t noticed...he’s a little protective.” Her smile twisted into a forlorn frown, “Jesus, Sharky I am so sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt!”

“I...I don’t get it. You and John fucking Seed?! How did that even happen?”

“I told you, it’s complicated!” she defended, “But why do you think the peggies have been so docile recently, especially in Holland Valley!”

“Is that why you’re doing this?” Sharky asked, holding on to one last thread of hope that snapped when she shook her head.

“No! There’s so much more to it than that.” 

Sharky sighed.

“Oh wait, is _this_ where you’ve been going when you disappear for days at a time?” He asked, “You’re playing house with Seed?”

“I’m not _playing house_.” She grumbled, “Sharky, I...I love him.”

That was not what he expected to hear.

  
“Well...damn. I hope you know what you’re doing deputy.” He relented, “You’re smart. I trust your judgment but, damn. The fucking Baptist.”

“He’s more than that, I promise you.” She replied, fidgeting with her hands, “Listen, I’d be really grateful if you’d keep this to yourself. The others, they won’t understand.”

“Fuck, I’m not sure I understand but, fine.” He agreed, “I won’t tell anyone.”

Awkwardly, Rey stood, throwing herself at him and squeezing him tightly. After a pause, Sharky returned her hug.

“But if you could get him to calm down that green-eyed monster thing he’s got going on? It’s intense, man!”

“Yeah...we’re working on that _envy_ thing.” She blushed, “Thank you, Sharky. Really. You’re a great friend.”

She wasn’t going to be his girlfriend and Sharky was in no mood to be strung up again by his ankles any time soon. It was weird, but she looked happy. Wasn’t that what he’d wanted for her?

There were plenty more fish in the lake. 

He just needed to throw more grenades.


	4. Hooky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Deputy takes a day off. John doesn't understand the meaning of the term.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's canon - Set during the conflict. Rey and John have slept together a few times but haven't discussed where they stand yet.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Fluff. Shameless fluff!

“Whitehorse to Jackson. What is your position?”

Static.

“Deputy Jackson, please respond?”

Static.

“Whitehorse to all units, does anyone have eyes on Jackson?!”

You didn’t keep an iron grip on a region like Holland Valley without knowing what was going on at all times. 

The installment of surveillance cameras was only part of his intelligence gathering. Another was tapping into the radio transmissions.

It was still early when a message from Sheriff Whitehorse caught his attention. John had been lounging back in his ranch living room, his feet resting on his coffee table as he listened to the morning monitor but the sound of her name made him sit up and listen attentively.

Earl Whitehorse's voice seemed to grow more urgent with every call, his worry evident. Lines formed between John’s brows, his frown deepening with every passing minute. 

Was she missing? Not that he _cared,_ but Joseph had been insistent that this one reached atonement. If she didn’t, John would be the one to suffer and if she was missing, she couldn’t atone for her sins.

In a roundabout way, deputy Rey Jackson being missing was very inconvenient for _him_ and he was sure the feeling of panic in his throat was for the fate of his own soul.

Definitely not hers.

Growling under his breath, John stood, striding to where his coat hung on the rack by the door. He knew this whole region like the back of his tattooed hand. 

If anyone could find her, it was him.

00000

Rey had a reputation for being good.

Growing up in the foster system, she had always been told to behave because families didn’t want unruly little girls. Only speak when spoken to, no shouting, stand up straight, smile. 

Not that it mattered. By the time she was 7 years old she soon learned that couples wanted cute babies they could raise, not broken older children with potential issues. 

But she swallowed her bitterness and worked hard, earning a scholarship to NYU to gain the credits she needed. By the time she had turned 21, she was unconditionally accepted to the NYPD.

She was the model of what a police officer should be. Morally upstanding, willing to help those in need. It didn't matter how well she performed, there was always someone else waiting in the wings with more connections ready to overtake her. It wasn't fair and it was time for a change. When the opening for a junior deputy in Hope County reached her, she applied straight away, needing to escape somewhere green.

Even now, with the madness going on around her, she didn’t regret her decision but with the added pressure of the holy war the cult was waging on Hope County, Rey had felt more pressure than ever to be helpful.

Any errand that needed to be done, she would do it. Any report of a missing person, she was out front searching. Always she followed Earl’s instructions, remaining a good deputy for her sheriff. Gunfights, tanker heists, explosions, bumps, and bruises.

She was tired.

When was the last time she had taken a day to herself? To just enjoy the beautiful land around her, to listen to nothing except the wind in the trees.

That morning, something had broken. Waking to the sound of people calling down her radio, she sighed, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hands. 

She made the decision there and then to turn the radio off for the day.

People would be mad, they’d worry and assume she’d been taken but it was hard to care when she stepped outside into the morning sun. 

Grabbing a canteen of water, Rey set off wherever her feet decided to take her. She meandered slowly, taking a long breath with every step. She walked the trails of the woodland, inhaling the scent of pine trees and smiling at the wildlife around her. 

For the first time in so long, Rey felt free. 

The sun was rising higher in a cloudless sky, bathing the countryside with heat, the edge taken off by a pleasant breeze. The long grass that surrounded her swayed in the air as she sat herself down, taking in the view of the valley below. Her eyes slid shut, Rey laying back in the grass with a blissful smile on her face.

It may have been hours or minutes, Rey couldn’t tell how long she had been lying there. The sound of rustling grass stirred her, a shadow falling over her body.

“Deputy?”

Her eyes shot open, her whole body tensing at the sound of his familiar voice. John stood over her, the sun shining around his silhouette. He was gazing down at her with curiosity in his blue eyes.

Rey sighed. If whatever they'd done was behind him and he was here to take her, there was no use in fighting. Nobody knew where she was and she was vastly outnumbered if that were the case because there's no way he came alone. Fuck it. If he was here to take her, he could wait until she was good and ready.

“Hello, John.” she smiled, closing her eyes again and folding her arms behind her head, “Come to make me confess?”

Her question took him aback, his eyebrows raising. Quickly he righted himself.

“It would make my job easier.” He replied, “A lot of people are looking for you.”

“You included?” She quipped, “I’m assuming you’ve brought people with you.”

“Actually, I haven’t. It’s just me.” He admitted. 

The honesty in his tone made her sit up to face him, her hand shielding her eyes from the sun.

“What are you doing up here? It’s dangerous to wander alone.” he chastised. 

“Yeah, I suppose you can meet all types.” She sniggered, looking him up and down, “I’m taking the day off.”

John gawked at her, not comprehending her words. 

“Day off?”

“Yeah, you know? Playing hooky.” she shrugged, laying herself back down in the grass with a satisfied smile, “You should try it sometime!”

“Rey, that’s _sloth_.”

“No, John, it’s called _rest_ and even God did it once in a while.” She smiled smugly, “Now, are you going to join me or are you going to keep blocking my light?”

John awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, shuffling from foot to foot and looking around, unsure of what to do. The last time he'd seen her, he'd kissed her on her doorstep in the dead of night after an unplanned trip to her cabin. He'd relished how shocked she'd been by his words, telling her that he'd always want her. It was nice, almost fun, making her speechless.

Now she was lying back in the grass like a Goddamn dream asking if he wanted to join her. The tables had turned.

“I could kill you, you know?” John said, trying to add some strength to his words. Rey grinned up at him.

“Yeah, but you won’t.” she answered confidently, “So get down here or at least get out of the way.”

John sneered at the ground.

“On the grass?” he groaned, “Without anything under...won’t we get dirty?”

Rey sat back up, her lips quivering with laughter. She was wearing a pair of denim shorts to her knees and a fitted plain white tee with a pair of boots. She was as casual as they came in comparison to John. If Rey was a betting woman, she’d have wagered his jeans cost more than the monthly rent some people paid. 

“Good lord, you are such a city boy!” she laughed, “Put down your coat!”

He rolled his eyes, pulling his coat off and spreading the garment on the grass, muttering something under his breath the whole time about how much it cost. He was still tense when he sat down, leaning back on his hands. Rey giggled.

“What?” he asked defensively, trying to ignore how his heartbeat picked up pace looking at her.

Her smile was bright and carefree, every shade of her hazel eyes catching in the light. She tucked her dark hair behind her ear.

“You really don’t know how to take time off, do you?”

“You don’t graduate _summa cum laude_ by taking a day off.” He said arrogantly. 

Rey only smiled wider, his scent catching on the breeze.

“Summa cum laude, huh? Very impressive, Mr. Seed!” She teased.

John scowled. Graduating top of his class and his career as a lawyer was something he was immensely proud of. The fact she was sitting so casually making fun of his achievement caused anger to bubble in his chest and left him feeling more hurt than he’d ever admitted out loud. 

Her laughter softened seeing the wounded look on his face.

“Oh come on, I’m just teasing you!” She smiled, shuffling onto his coat next to him. 

His body stiffened at the sudden contact, her arm pressed against his. He examined her carefully.

“You’re really not afraid of me, are you?”

Rey boldly looked him up and down, smiling as if she had been told a secret joke.

“Should I be?” she asked softly.

She was so close to him, looking through dark lashes. He fought the urge to swallow hard, awkwardly clearing his throat and turning to look out towards the view. If he wasn’t looking at her, he had more control. Or so he told himself.

“Why are you _playing hooky_ anyway?” he asked, abruptly changing the subject. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw the easy smile fade from her face. She sighed audibly, falling back onto the soft, silk lining of the coat. It smelled like him. Pine needles, sandalwood, and gunpowder.

“I’m just...so damn tired.” she complained, “Everyone looks to me for everything, sometimes more than Earl, and today...I woke up and I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want that responsibility. I just wanted one day, one fucking day, where the only person I had to be concerned about was myself.”

John nodded absently thinking about what she said. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He was the herald of the region. Everything that happened to Eden’s Gate in Holland Valley was down to him, from food stores to confessions. The buck stopped with him and the daily pressure of pleasing Joseph mounted.

“I know what you’re going to say.” She scoffed bitterly, “I’m a selfish sinner just thinking of myself. I’m _greedy_.”

John smiled.

“Well, yes.” he grinned down where she lay, “But...I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know what that was like.”

His admission was strange and refreshing, Rey smiling thoughtfully as she lay on her back, looking up at the sky. They sat in companionable silence in the peace of the afternoon, neither wishing to comment on the bizarre situation of two enemies with benefits sharing a quiet moment together.

“What do you miss?” Rey asked suddenly. 

John slid down to his back, lying next to her on his coat, his hands resting lazily on his stomach.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, being here...with Eden’s Gate. There’s got to be some things that you had to give up and I’ll bet even John The Baptist misses the little things?”

He shook his head.

“I wanted to be here. I knew what I was sacrificing,” he said shortly.

“But you were a very successful lawyer in Atlanta. Big city. You can’t tell me that there aren’t little luxuries you miss?!” 

The fact she knew information about his past, the idea that she had done her research had him inwardly preening and fighting a smug smile. Still, he kept his face as stoic as he could, shaking his head.

“Those little luxuries as you call them are the embodiment of so many sins.” He answered arrogantly, “And when I atoned, I cast away those sins and everything that embodied them.”

“Urgh. Joseph isn’t here! Nobody is, it’s just us!” Rey groaned, “You don’t need to sound like you’re preaching a sermon!”

Silence descended again, both blinking up at the blue expanse above them until John finally spoke.

“Sushi.”

“What?”

“Sushi.” He repeated, “You asked me what I missed. I miss sushi or any kind of Japanese food. You just can’t get it anywhere here without getting it delivered and _that_ is not something that would go down well. Can you imagine? We’re trying to prepare for The Collapse and I’m getting sashimi imported from somewhere in Helena?”

He’d never seen such an elated smile on her face, her laughter ringing out across the meadow, so infectious he couldn’t help but join her. Somewhere in the mirth, their positions had shifted so near to one another, any discomfort dissipating, as if they were just two friends spending the day together.

But they weren’t friends. He didn't really know where they stood, which made the fluttering her stomach any time he looked at her that much worse. Lying there in the peace and sun, it was easy to forget who and what they were. Even for a moment, Rey decided she deserved that. His eyes searched her face, his own full of uncertainty. Torn between escalating and ruining a perfect moment they’d somehow built.

A rush of helplessness followed by a surging tide of warmth that took over her limbs, leaving her heavy as he tentatively moved to hover over her body, his nose tracing along her own, testing her reactions until she could barely stand the palpable tension any longer.

Her movement was small, barely lifting her chin to meet him in a kiss that was far more shy and innocent than either of them. Softly at first, her hand came to rest on his cheek, sliding to the back of his neck as a surge of intensity followed, his confidence growing as his insistent tongue parted her trembling lips. 

Tremors ran along her nerves, lightly whimpering as she lost herself in the feeling of his body pressing down on her, her back arching as if the idea of any separation was inconceivable. The movement became more urgent, his hips grinding against hers as they lost themselves, her hands fisting around his shirt, seconds away from tearing the damn thing off.

Dizzy and fighting for breath, they parted, the longer strands of John’s pushed back hair hanging haphazardly on one side. Still, she clung to him, using him as an anchor while they tried to make sense of what just happened.

“You...you’re tempting me. I’m going to have to atone for this.” John muttered.

There was something in his tone, resentment perhaps, but still he laid his forehead on her own like it was a comfort. Rey smiled softly, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of his neck.

“Then you better make it worth it.” 

The second kiss was softer, more precise but no less electric than the first. He took his time, savoring her taste, the feel of her lips against his, the brief moment of freedom they had to just be themselves before going back to the roles they had both accepted.

There was something unreadable in his expression when he spoke.

“We should get back.” he decided, his shy smile pairing with sad eyes, “People will wonder where _both_ of us are.”

Rey nodded. He was right and she knew it. Being MIA for so long, Earl would have been sure she’d been taken. By now there was every chance he was planning some kind of rescue operation. 

But if they left, things would go back to normal. They’d be expected to be at each other's throats and out for blood. The attraction that had given her so much guilt was growing into more with every passing minute she spent by his side.

There was something wrong with her, there had to be, but that was something she would investigate another time.

“Can we just...stay?” She asked, her voice small and unsure, “Just a little longer.”

John smiled, nodding his head as he pulled her to him. Her head rested on his chest, tucked safely under his chin.

“A little longer.” He agreed.

00000

His coat smelled of grass.

That offending garment hanging on a rack near his office door was definitely the reason he couldn’t concentrate. 

There was work to be done, stock to keep an eye on, legislation on sales of farmland Eden’s Gate was trying to buy further afield. Things he’d all ignored to go and play in a field with the deputy.

Someone else he definitely wasn’t thinking about.

Leaning back in his chair, his hand drifted to his mouth for the umpteenth time. If he closed his eye, the scent of the grass from his coat took him right back to that meadow, the way she smiled at him and the promise she’d made to see him again that brought a flutter to his chest. 

“Excuse me, John?”

A knock at the door made him flinch, his head snapping to look at one of his Chosen by the door. His light eyes were cold, narrowing in annoyance.

“Yes?”

“There’s something here for you. It was left outside the gates with your name on it.”

“Has it been checked?” John asked.

For all they had control of the area, there were plenty of resistance members who wouldn’t hesitate to simply mail him a bomb.

“It looks like a cooler.” The man answered, “It's been put in your kitchen.”

Now he was confused. Standing he dismissed the other man, heading towards his kitchen with equal parts dread and curiosity.

The small box sat on the counter, completely inconspicuous other than the fact he had no idea where it came from. True to the man's word, a letter was stuck to the top with his name on it.

_John,_

_One less thing to miss_

_D.R.J x_

“One less thing to miss…” he muttered to himself, reaching for the box and trying to piece together the puzzle.

Carefully he opened the lid, the urge to laugh bubbling in his stomach. 

Inside sat a box of immaculately prepared sushi.

He smiled widely, grabbing the radio he kept at his hip.

“Deputy, what are you doing for dinner?”


	5. Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While out driving with Hurk Jr., Rey learns that the cult has got some pretty strict rules about how members conduct themselves. 
> 
> John clearly hasn't read them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict. Rey and John have an established secret relationship.
> 
> Chapter warning: Smut, NSFW, Masturbation, Voyeurism if you squint.

“Y’know, I was gonna join that cult?”

Rey kept her eyes on the unstable road, her fingers gripping the wheel as she tried not to audibly sigh.

Of course, Hurk Jr. would want to join a religious doomsday cult. As nice and well-meaning as he was, he was just their type. Susceptible and more than a little gullible.

“So, what happened with that?” Rey asked, genuinely curious, “Didn’t make the grade?”

“Oh hell yeah, I did!” Hurk exclaimed, “I told them I wanted to join and they were all ‘welcome brother!’ Giving me all kinds of free shit but _then_ they handed me a list of these rules they got.”

“I’m sure that went well, you being such a stickler for rules and all,” she smirked sarcastically, knowing that the comment would fly over Hurk’s head.

“Turns out it ain’t some huge party. There’s no drinkin’, and I thought there might have been some of that blood of christ wine-”

“That’s Catholicism…”

“But nope, no drinking alcohol of any kind!” Hurk continued, “Ya have to give them all of your money, your belongings, everything. Worst of all, there ain’t no fornicatin’ allowed!”

Rey almost slammed on her breaks.

“Wait, _what_?”

“Fornicatin’...means havin’ sex!”

“I know what fornicating means!” Rey laughed, “Are you telling me that it’s in the cult rules not to have sex?”

“Yup! How come?” Hurk asked.

Rey grinned wildly, holding in hysterical giggles.

_“Hurry up, we don’t have a lot of time!” Rey gasped, his teeth grazing her neck while he pawed at her clothes, rapidly helping her undress._

_The back of Rae-Rae’s now abandoned pumpkin farm probably wasn’t the smartest place to meet, what with the now newly acquired resistance outpost only down the road, but it was convenient for both of them._

_She shoved off his coat, hissing as he nipped at her throat, his hands wandering under her tank top after he’d disposed of her deputy shirt._

_“Careful, I’m going to have to put that back on you know!”_

_“God, you’re demanding today,” John drawled, pulling the buckle of his belt, dropping his jeans to his ankles, “Anything else?”_

_“I don’t want us to get caug-oh my God!”_

_He sucked at the delicate point of her pulse, his hand roaming down her panties to tease her slit. Clearly she wasn’t in the position he wanted her, John wrapping his arms around her waist to hoist her onto the counter, pulling sharply on her panties to tear the fabric away._

_“Fucking hell, John…”_

_“I’ll buy you a new pair,” he dismissed, “Spread those legs for me, angel.”_

_Any witty reply she had was lost when he dipped his head, licking a scalding strip through her folds, swirling around her clit with painful precision that had her eyes rolling back. Her hips moved of their own accord, falling to lean back on her elbows. She could have sworn she felt him smile._

_“You really need this, don’t you darling?” he purred, “I can feel how badly you want to cum for me.”_

_She groaned at almost embarrassing volume, feeling his fingers working her open slowly, curling until he found a spot that had her panting hard, rocking her hips against his face. Speaking was useless, a series of needy whines and moans that grew until the pressure between her legs reached critical._

_His tongue flicked over her clit, Rey coming with a shriek that was barely muffled at the last minute by her own hands. He worked her through it, circling around the outside of her clit until she was left twitching and sensitive. She was still panting when he unhooked her leg from his shoulders._

_He wiped his mouth with the back of his tattooed hand, a smug smile on his face as he dragged her down from the counter. There was time enough for a stolen kiss, the debauched taste of her still lingering on his tongue before he turned her around, bending her over the flat surface._

_“Now who‘s demanding?” She quipped breathlessly, gasping when he ground the head of his cock through her heat, nudging her already sensitive clit._

_He ignored her comment but reveled in the feeling of sinking into her tight hole, her cunt clenching around him. One hand on her hip, the other pressed between her shoulder blades as he tested her with short, sharp thrusts._

_“Oh fuck, that’s it!” She moaned, tilting her hips to drive him deeper, “Fuck, John…”_

_“I love hearing you say my name.” He growled, his fingers digging into her skin, branding her._

_He was so deep, the sound of his hips meeting her mingling with her fevered moans, only growing more pitched when he slid his hand to her clit, adding another layer to the sensation._

_“That’s it, darling, I know you love to cum for me. Cum all over my cock. Let me feel it!” He growled, feeling her grip him tightly as she neared her release._

_“Fuck, fuck. That’s it, so close…” she gasped, pressing her forehead into the wood of the counter, unable to do anything except hold on as he assaulted her senses._

_Everything tightened, her body trembling as she pushed up onto her toes, the pressure finally releasing like a coiled spring. She came undone around him, John following with a feral groan._

_Exhausted, he folded over her, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck as she giggled lazily._

_“So, same time tomorrow?”_

Rey was still laughing to herself.

“Oh, no real reason. Just curious!” She lied, “Do, Uh, do you still have that book of rules? I’d like to read them.”

“Sure do.” Hurk declared, “Ya can have it but I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Ain’t no fun to be had with it!”

Rey smiled wickedly.

00000

John sighed as he entered his home, rolling his neck to try and ease some of the stiffness in his muscles.

His day had been long. Between business ventures on behalf of his brother, organizing staff, and generally trying to keep control _without_ the use of excessive force, he felt stretched thin. The final point had been a promise to the deputy, his feelings getting the better of him but the task was easier said than done.

Entering his bedroom, he stopped suddenly, taking in the sight that greeted him with a slack jaw. Rey was lying on his bed wearing nothing but her bra and panties, black lace, and hugging her curves. From her position on her front, he tilted his head, watching the beautiful curve of her back as it rose to her behind. Quickly, he closed the bedroom door.

“Well this is a pleasant surprise!” he grinned, beginning to strip in a less than dignified manner.

Rey smiled seductively, fluttering her lashes as she picked up a familiar-looking book on the bed.

“I’ve been reading something _very_ interesting!” She smiled, making sure he could see the book. 

John was down to his Calvin Klein boxers by the time he was by the bed. He was half-hard for her already.

“Is this where you tell me that you’re going to confess?” he teased, attempting to kiss her and whining when Rey twisted out of his grasp, bouncing off the bed.

“Not quite, Johnny Boy,” she winked, “But I’m particularly fascinated with page twenty. ‘What is expected of our flock’” she recited. 

The smile fell from John’s face, his blue eyes blinking rapidly at the book.

“Where did you get that?”

  
  
“Let’s see, no drinking, no personal fortunes, the needs of the many blah blah blah...Aha! Here it is, my _favorite_ part,” she said dramatically, ignoring his question. 

She cleared her throat, pacing the bed in front of him, swaying her hips from side to side. The thunderstruck look on John’s face was enough to almost break her. 

Almost.

“Sin comes in many forms and temptation will try to lead you astray. There is no greater temptation than that of the flesh,” she read aloud, “Lust is pervasive and will drive you to do unspeakable acts. Fornication, in all its forms, is strictly forbidden at Eden’s Gate.”

She snapped the book closed, the sharp thud ringing through the room. Rey grinned victoriously watching John’s mouth flap as he tried to quickly create a counterargument. Testing the waters, she crawled onto the bed to give him a peck on the lips, not allowing him anything more than the seconds' contact before she sat back against the headboard.

“Oh John, you’ve been a bad boy!”

“Those rules are for our followers, they don’t count for _us_!” he stressed, trying to crawl up the bed towards her only to find her toes firmly pushing back his chest.

  
“Uh uh. Nope.” She smiled, shaking her head, “Rules are rules. Fornication in _all_ its forms is strictly forbidden!”

She could see how hard he was, his cock tenting his boxers and by the scowl he was giving her, clearly, he wasn’t used to being told no. John pouted, his eyes stormy as he watched her slide her panties off.

“What are you doing?” he growled, on his knees in front of her. 

“The rules _do_ say no fornication but I’m not bound to your little project, so the rules don’t apply to me.” she shrugged casually.

“Rey, don’t play with me like this,” he warned, his jaw clenching, “You know I’ll give it back tenfold!”

“I’m sorry but rules are there for a reason and what kind of monster would I be if I let _The Baptist_ of Eden’s Gate break them, hmm?” 

Maintaining eye contact with him and not laughing was a testament to her willpower. She’d never seen him so torn, the look on his face somewhere between extreme arousal and the contemplation of murder. Holding his gaze boldly, she spread her legs, circling her clit slowly with the flat pads of her fingers.

The way his muscle twitched under his eye was already a victory. Between her soft moans, her head finally tipping back against the headboard, she wondered how far she could push him.

“Oh God, that feels so good.”

“Rey, let me touch you.” He ground out, having tugged off his underwear to palm himself, the head of him leaking onto his fingers.

“Hmm. No.” she replied, her fingers moving in faster, more precise circles, “Can’t. Rules are rules.”

She heard him groan, tugging himself as he tried to inch closer towards her.

“Rey, _please_ , let me touch you!”

“I wish you could.” she moaned dramatically, “But I don’t want to damn your soul any more than we already have.”

He snaked forward to kiss her inner ankle, Rey too focused on the task at hand to kick him away. The contact was electric, sending a shock along her skin directly to her core. His fingers wrapped around her opposite ankle.

“Darling, you don’t have to worry about my soul,” he purred, although she could hear the tension in his voice, “It’s you I’m here to save.”

“Hmm...ah, seems like I’m doing a good enough job myself.” She breathed.

He could tell she was close, the idea that she was about to cum in his bed without his help tantamount to a personal insult. He was practically grinding against the sheets, desperate for some release from the friction. He could hear her breath catch, her moans becoming high pitched. 

He was going to grind his back teeth to powder, she was sure of it. Would it really be so bad to give in now? She was going to pay for it later. His eyes were sharp, watching her movements like a snake ready to strike. 

“Fuck the rules!” He hissed, finally reaching the end of patience.

A laugh escaped her as he tugged her ankle, dragging her down the bed in one swift motion and under his weight. Her laughter melds into a gasp when he sinks himself into her, his eyes closed tightly and a groan of his own escaping his open mouth.

She clung to his shoulders. Nothing was going to be gentle about this.

“I made those rules, angel,” he snarled down at her, “and I can fucking break them!”

All she could do is hold on tightly, nails raking down his back as he hammered into her. There was no other sound than her sharp gasps and his animalistic grunts. Already having worked herself before his resolve broke, she knew she wasn’t going to last. Eyes screwing shut as she began to shake.

“From now on you don’t get to cum without my permission. If you’re touching yourself and you think you’re going to cum, you better fucking call me first.” He demanded roughly, “How’s that for a rule?”

“I...I’m going to...to..”

“Do it. Cum for me.”

She finally unraveled, convulsing around John’s length with a keen, curling into him as her cunt continued to grip him, causing his frantic thrusts to stutter. His head dropped to her collar bone, teeth scraping along her skin as he emptied himself deep inside her.

Spent, he rolled from her, the pair breathing hard and blinking up at the ceiling.

“Teasing isn’t nice, you know,” John smirked, turning his head to look at her. 

Rey laughed lazily, allowing her head to drop to his shoulder. 

“Just thought I’d bring some rebellion into your life.” She grinned.

“Hellion.” He snorted, “Where did you even get that book from?”

“Let me tell you about a friend of mine named Hurk Junior…”

Content, John listened to her speak, her body rolling in close to his.

He’d plan his revenge tomorrow.


	6. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst confrontation since the war began leads to the beginning of peace talks between The Seeds and local law enforcement...which begins a completely different type of war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - The start of peace talks between Hope County and Eden's Gate.
> 
> Chapter warning: Fluff, Nonsense, slightly OOC behavior I suppose (But that's how I'm writing it so...pfft)

The frosty winter air nipped at the bare skin of Rey’s cheeks. The junior deputy grinned widely. Delicate flakes fluttered down from the bright grey sky, already fallen snow crunching under her boots. Rubbing her fingertips peeking out from her black gloves, Rey exhaled, watching with glee as her hot breath reacted with the air.

“Could you at least try not to enjoy this?” Joey said curtly, “We’re here to do a job.”

“And could _you_ at least try to cheer up a little?” Rey fired back, “This is all positive!” 

Joey rolled her eyes. She had been the most sceptical of these peace talks that Joseph had proposed, strongly disagreeing when Sherriff Whitehorse had told them he’d been approached. It hurt her when Rey hadn’t been as opposed. Considering Rey had also been taken by The Baptist, her enthusiasm to make peace was unexpected in Joey's eyes.

“So you say. Jesus, it’s fucking freezing.” She grumbled, “We couldn’t have picked a location with _heating_?”

“This was the agreed spot. It’s the most neutral place we could decide on for now.” Earl commented.

The 8-bit Pizza building might have been abandoned but Rey knew it well. She’d used it to hide out and gather herself in the Henbane region more than once. The summer months made the inside stuffy and humid, but the lack of heating indoors brought another set of problems come winter. Ice frosted the windows, the inside just as chilly as outside.

“Do you think they’ll show up?” Joey asked, kicking her boots free of excess snow.

“I hope so,” Earl replied.

“They’ll show up.” Rey confirmed quickly, “I think they’ll definitely show up!”

Joey folded her arms, pacing the space.

“Okay, then how do we know they won’t show up with their own fucking army, huh?” She suggested, “There’s three of us here. They could just mow us down without a second thought. I hope I’m wrong, but what if this is all a front?”

“Come on, Joey, have a little faith!” Rey smiled. She adjusted her navy scarf, savoring the soft wool against her skin and the smell of sandalwood that lingered.

“Hmm. It’s a question of _faith_ that got us all into this mess in the first place.”

Minutes later, the main door opened. The officers watched Joseph Seed enter, followed by his siblings, John and Jacob.

The two groups stood across from one another. Earl and Joseph remained passive and professional. Joey barely concealed her distrust. Rey stood directly across from John, boldly sizing him up with a delicate smile. The silence stretched between them until John decided to break it.

“Deputy.” John greeted evenly. Rey inclined her head in return.

“John.”

His eyes danced over her form, a hint of a smile on his lips while he brushed the snow from his coat.

“Nice scarf. Cashmere, right?” 

At least the cold was an excuse for the pink rising on her cheeks. John wore a confident smile that was no different from his ridiculous infomercials. Earl cleared his throat.

“I had to admit, I was surprised that you suggested this.” He said sincerely. Joseph nodded.

“My brothers gave a convincing argument. We cannot go on like this, not if we are to survive what's to come. Shall we begin?” he asked, gesturing to a nearby table.

The groups sat down, John being sure he remained opposite Rey. It was difficult to remain engaged with the conversation when the man across from her wouldn’t stop staring. 

“A ceasefire holding is one of the most important things to have in place.” Earl began. Joseph nodded thoughtfully.

“I agree. Enough blood has been shed on both sides.” Joseph replied in his calm manner.

“As well as the abolishment of the Church…”

“Unacceptable.” Joseph snapped, “You have no right to tell people how to practice their faith!”

  
“You have no legal backing either. Religious freedom is in the constitution!” John added. 

“But the way you’ve gained your followers. The drugging, the bribes, the coercion. _That_ is not something we’ll accept any longer!” Earl declared, standing his ground.

The brothers shared uneasy glances. Some may have said it looked like guilt. Joseph nodded.

“We can accept that our methods may have been...vehement. I make no excuses for the things we’ve done, but the core of our belief remains. The collapse _is_ coming and people should be given the freedom to join us if they choose.”

“Well, we’ll have to agree to disagree about the end of the world.” Earl said wryly, “But if people _want_ to remain with Eden’s Gate then I suppose we have no control over that.” 

“I appreciate that. If you are willing to let my followers be, we, in turn, would be willing to share some of our resources in rebuilding.”

The talks moved on. It was no small task to unravel the stranglehold the project at Eden’s Gate had held on Hope County. Each region had its own challenges and not everyone was ready to trust that the Peggies were changing their ways. At the same time, some of the demands Earl made on behalf of the people, weren’t reasonable to Joseph either. It wasn’t going to be fixed overnight. Rey took it as a victory that nobody had lost their temper yet.

Rey rested her head on her hand, aptly listening to Joey as she put forward her point about people being held accountable for the torture that happened in the Whitetail Mountains. Jacob was making his counterpoint when Rey suddenly yelped, the feeling of a foot stroking up the side of her leg catching her unaware.

“Deputy Jackson, are you alright?” Joseph queried, barely hiding his own smile. Rey cleared her throat, shifting in her chair. 

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Totally fine. Just...cold. Pins and needles.” She muttered. Across from her, John was biting the inside of his cheek. 

“You know, we have been sitting here for quite some time and I think we’ve all shown that we’re more than ready to hash things out. Why don’t we break for now and think about things, come together another day?” Jacob suggested reasonably.

“Yes, God, I think I’m losing feeling in the tips of my fingers!” Rey agreed, rubbing her hands together.

“That’s what you get for wearing fingerless gloves.” Joey smirked, her mood marginally improved, “And loving snow.”

“It's not that bad! Come on, it looks like a Disney movie outside."

“I swear to God if you start singing…”

“Deputies!” Earl cut in, looking to the men across the table, “I think you’re right. Cabin fever might be setting in and as you can see, I’ve clearly recruited _children_.” He looked pointedly at the two women, both looking like chastised kids.

“Nonsense. It’s encouraging to see people so comfortable in our presence.” Joseph added pleasantly, “We’ll reconvene in a few days, weather permitting of course. Discuss the finer details of the legalities with John before we leave.”

The groups stood, shaking hands across the table. Rey locked eyes with John, his hand grasping hers. She bit her lip, his thumb rubbing subtle circles. John lingered behind to talk with Earl and Joseph, the rest of them heading outside.

Grey clouds had cleared allowing the sun to shine high in the clear blue sky. The fresh white powder was blinding in the light. It was still freezing, but the glistening ice on the tree brought a huge smile to Rey’s face.

“What a gorgeous day!” Rey gushed. She deeply inhaled the clean air, feeling her lungs expand.

“Why are you so _happy_ today?” Joey questioned, an eyebrow raised, “Whatever you’re on, can I have some?”

“Look, we have a lot to be happy about!” Rey explained, “There’s a cease-fire, we’re working towards peace which means when the winter really hits _nobody_ is going to suffer for it. Come on, weren’t you tired of fighting...of hate?”

Joey sighed, her breath visible in the cold. Someone once told her that hate was the same as drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. That’s how she had felt for so long. She could feel her hatred twisting her, changing her behavior towards others until she barely recognized herself. She’d joined law enforcement to help people, to be a force for good. Her younger self would have been horrified at the things she’d done.

“Yeah. Yeah...I guess I am.” She reluctantly nodded, “I’m just not as good at letting go like you.”

“She’s got a pretty compelling reason.” Jacob sniggered behind them.

“Oh? Like what?” Joey asked. 

Her tone was far less wary after hours of talking with the Seeds. She wasn’t exactly ready to invite them over for Christmas, but if they were going to make an effort then maybe Rey was right. She had to meet them halfway.

“You know how Rey and- Umph!”

A snowball belted Jacob directly on the side of his face. The tall veteran spluttered, snow filling his mouth and sliding down the gaps in his coat. They turned to look at Rey, the girl standing frozen with a shocked expression. 

“Uh…I’m sorry?” she offered.

Joey burst out a hysterical laugh, unsure what the appropriate reaction was while Jacob wiped his beard.

“Rey! What the hell?” Joey laughed, her sides beginning to hurt.

Jacob turned with a wolf-like smile.

“Oh little pup, you’ve just made the biggest mistake of your life,” he warned, bending down to pick up a handful of snow, “but I’m a generous man. You’ve got...5 seconds.”

“Jacob, let me start my 3 part apology…”

“One…”

“By saying that you’re a very skilled soldier…”

“Two…”

“You should run, Rey!”  
  
  
“Three…”

“...And I’ve always appreciated that you know when to _keep your mouth shut_ …”

“Four…”

“And I’ll never, ever throw snow at you again…”

“Five!”

The first snowball barely missed, skimming the shoulder of her forest green jacket as she sprinted out the way. Skidding on the powder, Rey grabbed another handful, launching back with her own attack. The projectile missed Jacob completely, smacking Joey on the hip.

“Hey! I’m not part of this!” Joey whined.

A snowball smacked the back of her head from the opposite side.

“You are now!” Jacob shrugged. 

Joey was aghast, her mouth hanging open with shock. A loathed enemy just threw a _snowball_ at her. She snapped to action. She grabbed a pile of her own, launching her snowball back at Jacob. The ball of ice pelted him directly on the side of his neck.

“Ah, fuck! You’re going to pay for that!” he shouted. Joey sprinted towards Rey, grabbing for more snow.

Snowballs were launched back and forth, two small women facing the veteran soldier. Laughter and screams rang out. It had been so long since Rey had allowed herself to just have fun, to not worry about what was coming or about hiding herself away. Best of all, for the first time in months, she was seeing Joey Hudson laugh.

This was the sight that greeted Joseph, John, and Earl when they emerged from the old restaurant. John immediately snorted as he laughed, trying to hide his amusement. Joseph retained a little more dignity, smiling while he watched his older brother fall victim to the double attack. Earl simply looked horrified.

“Hudson! Jackson! For the love of God, will you act like adults?!” Earl shouted, rubbing his face with his hands.

It was not how he’d expected the first round of talks to end.

The culprits paused, eyes all flitting between one another. Nobody spoke, palpable tension rising until Joey released her arm. The snow flew through the air, hitting Earl on his chest.

“Come on, Sheriff. Haven’t we been serious for long enough?” Joey smiled. 

John cried out indignantly, a snowball smacking him on the side of the head. His hair flopped forward, the man’s jaw working as he fought a smile.

“Deputy, that wasn’t very nice!” He warned. An exaggerated sigh followed as he scooped a pile of snow in his hands, “But if I have to sink down to your level, you _know_ I will!”

“What are you going to do Johnny Boy? Do your worst, I dare you!” Rey taunted.

She immediately regretted her decision. Instead of throwing the snowball, John opted to give chase, Rey shrieking as he followed her around the side of the building. Joey used the distraction to gather another weapon, hitting Jacob between the eyes.

Joseph sighed, turning to Earl.

“It’s hard to believe that John was one of the best lawyers in the state of Georgia.” He joked, “But it is nice to see them all so carefree.”

“It is.” Earl agreed, “Long may it last.”

The fight continued at the front under the watchful, if not entertained eyes of Joseph and Earl. One misstep in the snow had given John the advantage, grabbing Rey around the waist to pin her to the back of the building. The snow in his hand was forgotten when she grabbed his collar, pulling him to her for a kiss.

His hand cradled the back of her head, offering protection from the hard wall. He pulled back, Rey leaving one last chaste kiss on his lips like a signature.

“I’ve missed you.” She smiled, delicately rubbing her cold nose against his. His body pressed her closer to the wall, her stomach fluttering with the contact.

“I’ve missed you too,” he replied, “I’ve also missed this scarf. Prey tell, when did you take this?”

“How do you know it’s yours?” She teased, knowing full well that it was. 

John raised an eyebrow, his hand reaching for the item in question. Tugging one of the ends from her jacket, a perfectly monogrammed “JS” was embroidered in the corner.

“It’s mine.” He grinned, “You could have asked me.”

“You were sleeping!” She shrugged, knowing it was a lame excuse.

“Deputy, I don’t know if you’re aware but stealing other people's property is against the law,” He teased, making her giggle as he nipped her ear, “And a sin.”

She kissed him again, long and slow.

“Pretty sure we’re past that point now!” 

“Hmm. Maybe.” he hummed, “How exactly did that all start?” he asked, nodding his head in the direction of the snowball fight.

“Jacob almost ratted us out.” she smirked, “I had to improvise!”

“We’re going to have to tell people eventually, you know?” He said, pulling the glove off her left hand.

The rose gold wedding band glinted in the sunlight.

“I know. It’s just...its a little too soon. People can know once everything has settled. I just don’t think they’d take kindly knowing just _how long_ we’ve been a thing.”

“You’re calling our marriage a _thing_?” he gasped dramatically.

“You just called me a thief, I’m pretty sure that makes us even, dear.” She smiled, “Come on, we should get back around there.”

Letting go of his hand before anyone saw had been difficult. John awkwardly pushed back some of his displaced hair, Rey pulling her glove back on. Jacob and Joey had finally given up their fight. Both were soaked, Joey shivering slightly. Jacob shot the pair a wonky grin.

“You guys making out?”

Joey’s mouth hung open, flapping like a bass out of water. Rey groaned, burying her face in her hands.

“Thanks, Jake…”


	7. Introductions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has only been in Hope County a few weeks and is still getting used to the area. Someone she hasn't met yet comes to the station to introduce themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set before the rise of the cult and the arrest, just after Rey moves to Hope County.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Awful flirting.

Her first few weeks in Hope County had been a whirlwind.

Rey had lived in New York her whole life. Hell, her surname was pulled from the street she was found on in Queens. Moving from Brooklyn to Falls End had been a culture shock to say the least.

Everybody knew  _ everybody. _ It became very evident that gossip would travel fast. Almost every person she met knew her name before she’d been introduced to them, and if they didn’t, they at least knew she was the new junior deputy.

At least folks were friendly and welcoming. Her cabin had been well cleaned for her arrival, a beautiful gift basket from the townsfolk waiting on the kitchen counter. It had warmed her apprehension, confirming she’d made the right decision.

Leaning back in her chair, Rey yawned, stretching her arms high. It was a slow day at the station, not that she was complaining. Her role was still new to her and she was grateful that the sheriff and other deputies were giving her the time to get acclimated.

The front door to the station opened, the sound of boots on the floor heading towards her desk. Deputy Pratt glanced over from the small counter, his brows raising with surprise but the figure glided past him, barely paying the other deputy any attention.

“Good afternoon, Deputy.”

Rey sat forward, looking up at the man with a polite, even expression. Ice blue eyes joined a charming smile beneath a well-manicured beard. His immaculately pushed back hair balanced a pair of sunglasses. He smoothed the arms of a coat so well made, it had to be custom. 

“Good afternoon, Mr…”

He tilted his head curiously as if he’d been told a secret joke.

“You don’t know who I am, do you?”

“No, sorry. Should I?”

Of course, she did. She wasn’t sure of his name but she’d seen his face on billboards and posters all over the Valley. Something to do with that religious group Earl mentioned.

She watched the charming smile falter for a moment.

“Well then, allow me to introduce myself. I’m John Seed.” He extended his hand, Rey standing to accept it.

“Nice to meet you,” she smiled, mentally noting his tattooed knuckles, “What can I do for you?”

“Oh deputy, this is about what  _ I _ can do for  _ you _ !” He exclaimed, shooting her a perfect smile. 

Rey fought the heat rising on her cheeks, a flush threatening to crawl up her neck. He was certainly a good looking guy, but she had a feeling he was fully aware of it.

“Me? What could you possibly offer me?” She questioned, a manicured eyebrow raised as she crossed her arms.

“Oh, I don’t know. Atonement? Salvation? A life free from sin?” He purred, leaning forward on her desk.

She could smell his cologne. Spice and sandalwood that mingled with the scent of gunpowder on his coat. Intoxicating and dangerous all at once.

“What do you know about my sins, Mr Seed?” She replied sweetly.

“I know more than you’d imagine. I know them intimately.” He declared, “Please, call me John.”

She was enticed, his eyes holding her captivated. Charisma seeped out of every pore, the timbre of his voice making her stomach flutter. The desk between them felt like her only defence. 

Rey straightened up, standing her full 5’5” to hold herself with some manner of authority. He might have been trying to butter her up, but he was still on her territory. 

“Mr Seed, if you’re here to preach religion to me, I’m afraid you’re barking up the wrong tree,” she said politely.

“That, my dear, is a ‘No’ attitude. You need to embrace something a little more positive. ‘Yes’ is a very powerful word,” he preached, “Imagine how much more you’d experience if you only embraced that.”   
  
“I say yes to plenty of things.” Rey snorted, “But I also believe that you teach people how to treat you. Sometimes you’ve got to say no. I’m sorry, Mr Seed, but my relationship with God is my own business.”

“But you  _ do _ believe!” He confirmed, his face excited, “And that’s at least a start. You should come to the compound sometime and take in a sermon. I promise, Joseph can make you see things in a whole new way.”

He reached into his inner coat pocket, pulling out a card and dropping it on her desk.

“Thank you, but I think I’ll pass nonetheless.” She said firmly, her polite smile holding. 

He regarded her with interest, his cool eyes taking her all in. Rey considered herself a good judge of character, taking pride in her ability to read people. It unnerved her that she couldn’t make a decision about John Seed, the man impossible to decipher.

“Well, if you’d prefer, that’s my private number. I’d be happy to give you a  _ personal _ reading.” 

Rey swallowed thickly, John’s voice low as he leaned towards her, sweet as honey and twice as tempting.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll keep that in mind, Mr Seed.”

“I hope to see you soon, Rey.”

He left her with a final charming smile, her eyes following his back as he left. Only when the door closed behind him did she realise she hadn’t actually told him her name.

“What the fuck was that?!” Pratt cried, an incredulous laugh following.

Rey jumped, her head snapping to him. She’d forgotten the other deputy had even been in the room.

“What?”

“That! You were just flirting with John Seed!” He laughed.

“No, I wasn’t!” Rey gasped, her face flaming hot as she threw herself back in her seat.

“Ha! If you say so,” Pratt sniggered, “but he was definitely flirting with you!”

“No, he wasn’t.” She shook her head, “He’s part of that church thing, he was just trying to get me to join.”

“Uh-huh. Bet that’s not all he was trying to get you to join!” Pratt grinned, innocently going back to his paperwork, “A lot of girls have mentioned that they think he’s hot…”

Rey could certainly see why. Magnetic eyes, winning smile and well spoken? Anyone with a pulse would at least look twice.

“He’s...certainly charismatic.” Rey agreed, “but I don’t know, he kind of looks like a fuck boy. Like a tinder date who’d promise the world then ghost you. If it wasn’t for the whole church thing anyway.”

“Yeah, he’s one smooth talking fucker. No wonder he convinces so many to join Eden’s Gate!”

“Well, not me Pratt!” Rey declared confidently, “I am too strong to fall for a pair of baby blues! I’m going to get some coffee, do you want some?”

She stood from her desk, wandering to the coffee pot, a smile still on her face. The sheer hubris of the man was enough to make her laugh. Barging in to introduce himself, giving her his business card like he was some big shot. 

Before she could pick up the pot, her phone vibrated in her pocket.

_ <I sincerely hope you accept my offer. I promise I’ll help you see God. JS> _

Rey blinked at her phone and shivered.


	8. Vow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John asks a question. Rey says his favourite word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Takes place before "Snow", just as the resistance and the cult are to begin peace talks.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Fluffy. Straight up softness right here.

The bruises on her body were healing. 

The clash between Eden’s Gate and the resistance at the Baron Lumbermill had been the worst since their war began. Casualties had been great on both sides. The mill had gone up in flames. Rey had found herself caught inside.

John had heard it all. Every terrifying detail called in, every panicked reply. She could take care of herself, he knew that. His girl was hard as nails, but anybody could fall if a bullet hit the right spot. 

In the end, it had been one of his men who had saved her. They’d brought her back to his ranch, covered in blood, sweat and soot. That night, when she finally slept soundly, John had prayed. 

He’d searched his conflicted soul for an answer. He believed his brother, he trusted his word. Seeing Rey in such a state, a direct result of Eden’s Gate actions, drove the point home that they had fallen far from God’s plan. Something had to change.

It wasn’t going to be an instant change, there was so much mistrust and hurt on both sides. If there was one thing John knew he was good at, it was making an argument.

His siblings had listened. Joseph has tentatively agreed, sending word to Earl Whitehorse that they wanted to find a peaceful solution. Now all they had to do was wait for a response and hope it was positive.

John wandered into his bedroom, stopping to watch her, tilting his head. A chill breeze swept in through the open double doors leading to the balcony. Rey didn’t seem to notice the intense cold. She stood wrapped in a plaid blanket. It was her only defence against the impending winter weather considering she was wearing nothing but pyjama pants and one of his old T-shirts. 

He approached her from behind, although he knew she was aware of his presence. She leaned back against his chest when he hugged her close, resting his chin on her shoulder. It was late and he’d expected her to be in bed. 

“What are you-”

“Shh.”

John closed his mouth. There was nothing to hear except the whistling of the wind in the trees.

“Rey, it’s freezing. Come on to be-”

“Shh!”

“What?” 

Now he was definitely confused. Rey took a deep inhale, smiling to herself.

“Can you smell that?”

“...Why do I need to be quiet to smell the air?”

“Because you need to concentrate,” she shrugged, “It’s going to snow.”

John continued to hold her close but squinted up at the dark sky. It seemed perfectly clear to him, twinkling stars littering the inky backdrop. 

“Don’t you need, I don’t know, clouds for snow?” he asked.

“I’m telling you. I can smell it in the air!” Rey insisted.

“I see, and that’s why you’re standing out here, in the freezing cold wearing basically nothing…”

“I’m wrapped in a blanket.”

“Because you’re sure it’s going to snow?” John finished. 

“Yes.”

“Well...okay.” 

John had no real response. As long as she was healthy, safe and with him, he didn’t care what she did. Things were quiet for now. Both sides were down, licking their wounds and recovering from their losses. His arms tightened around her while she was still preoccupied with the sky. 

He could have lost her. The last words they’d have said to each other were in anger. If she’d fallen, if nobody had pulled her from that burning building, he’d have regretted it for the rest of his days. God had already given him a gift bringing her into his life. Now he was offering John a second chance to do the right thing.

“Marry me.”

Rey moved her head so quickly it almost smashed John right in the nose. She blinked at him in a manner that reminded him of a startled owl. He’d have laughed if it wasn’t for the fact he’d just blurted out an important question.

“You...you want to get married?”

“Admittedly this isn’t how I’d pictured proposing but...Rey, I don’t want to be without you, ever!” he exclaimed, grabbing her hands, “You just...you make me better.”

Rey was still processing what was going on. She loved the bones of him, despite her early conflict over his past actions. Love, however strong, wasn’t always enough. Rey’s face fell.

“John, it’s not that easy. Eden’s Gate, the Resistance…”

“It  _ is _ , Rey!” he insisted, “We’re asking for peace and we’re going to work things out. I’m not saying it’s going to be a quick fix but it  _ will _ happen.”

“People don’t forgive so easily.” She warned. John pressed his forehead to her’s.

“If you can forgive me, anything is possible.” he stated, “Marry me?” He repeated.

Rey bit her lip, weighing up all the possibilities in her mind. Marriage was a commitment but she’d already told herself long ago that there was no going back once she’d fallen for a man like John. It was impulsive, maybe foolhardy, but she couldn’t stop the smile spreading on her face.

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you!”

She howled with laughter, John grabbing her around the hips to lift her off the ground. His face pressed into her stomach, spinning her as she giggled. The sounds drew curious looks from the peggies patrolling the ranch grounds. They’d never heard John so lighthearted before without sarcasm being involved.

Falling back to her feet, he kissed her thoroughly, his hands tangling in her hair. She was smiling against his lips, her tongue insistent against his until something cold landed on her cheek. Pulling away, she beamed at the sky, delicate flakes beginning to flutter down on them.

“I told you!”

00000

“It’s so cold. Why are you doing this outside again?” Faith whined, wrapping the coat she’d borrowed from Jacob tightly around herself.

“Because Rey loves snow and it’s not my fault you didn’t dress for the weather!” John chastised, wringing his hands, “It’s winter, Faith. Buy a sweater!”

“I’ll choose to not take that personally on account of you being all nervous on your wedding day.” She smiled.

John only rolled his eyes, nervously picking invisible lint from his long, black wool coat. Paired with a grey cashmere sweater over a white shirt, he wasn’t nearly as unprepared to stand in the elements.

“Cut him some slack.” Jacob added, “I can’t believe my baby brother is getting married!”

“I can’t believe I thought you’d all just stand quietly,” John grumbled.

Joseph placed a comforting hand on John’s shoulder.

“Relax brother, this is a happy occasion. The least you could do is smile!” 

“She deserves better than this.” John sighed.

The surroundings were beautiful. Sunlight caught on the snow-capped trees, the sky completely clear. He already owned the property secluded from prying eyes, the addition of snow made it the perfect location. There were no grand floral displays, no string quartet, or rows of guests. No huge reception planned. Only his family and the edge of the ranch overlooking the snow-covered hills. In John’s opinion, she deserved more.

“Isn’t this what Rey wanted?” Joseph asked. 

It was. Considering they both agreed they wanted to get married as soon as possible, Rey insisted that saying their vows on the ranch with only a few witnesses was all she needed. John begrudgingly nodded.

“Yes.”

“Then might I suggest taking a deep breath and turning to the left?”

The sight of her walking towards him in the snow was one that he swore would stay with him until the day he died. Tendrils of wavy brunette hair danced in the breeze, the angelic smile on her face making it hard to swallow the lump in his throat. 

The elbow-length sheer lace sleeves of her ivory dress did nothing to protect her from the cold, her skirts falling to her knees, but she was a vision nonetheless. The neckline dipped, leaving her shoulders bare to the elements but she would be damned if she was going to hide such a beautiful dress under a coat on her wedding day.

Finally, she came to stand in front of him, the touch of his hand taking hers soothing the last of her ragged edges, her erratic breathing calming. 

“You look...I can’t even describe.” He awed.

“Must have done something right if  _ you’re _ lost for words.” She grinned, a blush rising on her cheeks, “Breathe, John.”

“Are you ready to begin?” Joseph asked. 

“Definitely.”

“We are here today to bring together two souls in the presence of God and his eternal glory. Together, they will lead each other down a righteous path towards salvation.”

Rey was smiling, although she had to take a deep breath to control herself. She knew that Joseph would lay it on a little thick, treating their wedding as if he was preaching to a full congregation. Having Joseph marry them was one of the few demands John made. It was a blessing that she’d managed to convince him to keep things short.

“John, if you’d please?” his brother prompted.

Rey was certain she’d never seen John look so nervous in his life. Considering their past history it was a bold claim to make. His eyes fell to their clasped hands, frowning as if he were trying to solve a frustrating puzzle. Suddenly he looked up at her with startling clarity.

“I’ve spent my entire life trying to work out God’s plan for me. I could never understand why he separated my family, why he allowed me to suffer for so long. I thought he was giving me the tools I needed for this, but now I know, it was you. For all the sins I’ve committed, for all the wrongs I have done...I would do them all again in a heartbeat because they lead me to you. I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to be the man you need me to be.” 

He spoke passionately, his hands gripping hers tightly to hold off from shaking. Rey’s eyes shone with unshed tears, swallowing them back thickly. 

“This isn’t exactly the fairytale romance that little girls dream of,” Rey began, smirking at her own words, “but that’s okay because that’s not what I was dreaming of anyway. I didn’t have a family growing up. I feel like I’ve spent my whole life searching for a home...never expected to find it like this, “ she laughed lightly, “You asked me to choose you, over everyone else...I do. I choose you.”

His incandescent smile was enough to make her heart flutter and she knew her choices had been worth it.

“It is often said that a wedding band is a perfect circle. They have no beginning or end, but that isn't true. We all know these rings have a beginning. Rock is dug from the earth, metal is forged, cooled and polished. Something beautiful emerges from the harshest of elements. That is love. It comes from humble, sometimes improbable beginnings, made by imperfect beings in God’s name.” Joseph spoke gently.

John accepted the delicate rose gold band from Jacob, clutching Rey’s left hand in his to slide the ring onto her finger.

“With this ring, I pledge myself to you, Rhiannon Jackson. I vow to love you, to protect you, to remain loyal in times of sickness and health, until death parts us.”

The ring rested perfectly on her left hand, glinting in the light. Rey took the ring from Faith, brushed platinum with a band of oak running around the centre. 

“With this ring, I pledge myself to you, John Seed. I vow to love you, to protect you, to remain loyal in times of sickness and health, until death parts us.”

He wiggled his finger as the ring was put in place, testing the feel of the metal band with a satisfied smile. 

“By the power invested in me by the Church of Eden’s Gate and the state of Montana, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Joseph declared with his own smile, “You may kiss the bride.”

They were oblivious to the claps from the rest of the Seed family, Rey hand’s wrapping around the edges of his cost to pull him closer. He gazed softly at her, his nose nuzzling over hers as he shot her a teasing smile.

“Hello, Mrs Seed.”

“Hi.” she breathed, his kiss knocking the air from her, the smile on her face giddy.

“Are you cold?”

“Fucking freezing.”

John laughed, taking off his coat to wrap it around her shoulders. The warmth of the wool soothing her body tucked safely under his arm, the newlyweds walked back towards their home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote and edited and re-wrote this one so much and in the end, just decided to post it. I could stare at it for hours and still have wee doubts.


	9. Fire (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Baron Lumbermill fire will go down as one of the worst confrontations in the history of their Holy war. Rey finds herself smack in the middle of it.
> 
> If only she'd just stayed when he asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict. Rey and John are in an established secret relationship. Takes place before "Vow" (And "Snow")
> 
> Chapter warning: Arguments, mild violence.

“Five more minutes,” John whined into her naked back.

  
The heat of his breath on her bare skin and the way his limbs were wrapped around hers made for a very compelling argument. Really there was nothing Rey would have loved more than to stay there the rest of the night, but she was still a Hope County deputy and she’d pulled the short straw of night patrol.

  
With catlike twists, she awkwardly untangled herself from his tattooed arms.

  
“I can’t, I’m already going to be late as it is.” She sighed, reaching for her underwear and beginning the routine of hunting for her discarded clothes.

  
John huffed, rolling out of the bed and grabbing a pair of jeans. This was the part he hated about their relationship. She would leave, smile at her friends and pretend their relationship didn’t exist. 

  
She’d walk the county with a target on her back. 

  
“You don’t have to go, you know?” he suggested, struggling to keep his voice even and calm, “You could just stay.”

  
Rey finished buttoning her green shirt. This was the part  _ she _ hated. Leaving was hard enough but the way he would look at her with those blue eyes she loved so much, asking her to stay with him like it was the easiest thing in the world. She wanted to stay, of course, she did, but she couldn’t pretend like there wasn’t a complicated world outside the four walls of his bedroom. 

  
“You know I can’t do that.” She mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

  
“Why not?” 

  
He hated how pathetic he sounded, like a child begging for answers.

  
“You know why because they’re my friends. We’ve talked about this!”

  
“And what am I?” John scoffed.

  
“John, don’t be like this please...not when I’m about to leave.”

  
“No, really. You’ve told me that you love me, but we’re still hiding in the shadows.  _ My  _ family wouldn’t disapprove so it seems like the trouble is with you.” He snipped, his mood growing more sour by the minute. 

  
“That’s not fair!” Rey snapped, “I do love you, but I don’t believe in Joseph or any of this! You can’t ask me to change my whole belief system for you.”

  
“You’ve never given it a chance. You’re so...so...close minded!” he ground out, pacing with frustration. 

  
“That’s rich coming from you!” she shot back, “What about the  _ sinners _ you all try to force into your way of thinking? What about them?! You’re such a hypocrite.” 

  
John tilted his head, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he stalked towards her.

  
“You want to talk about hypocrisy?” John snarled, “You gun down our followers without a second thought! You claim to be on the right side, but you and your little resistance incite just as much of the violence.”

Rey paused, her face crestfallen as he initial defence died on her lips.

  
“That’s not true…” she muttered, shaking her head. John smiled viciously, like a shark catching blood in the water. 

  
“It is, darling,” he sneered, “And you can deny it all you want, but I can see it in your eyes that you know it’s true. Those men and women? They have families and you ripped them away!”

  
Rey scowled. How dare  _ he _ attack her over her actions. The only reason she was out fighting in the first place was because of the project he was part of. Joseph had told them to begin the Reaping. She wasn’t about to let innocent people suffer. It was her job to protect and defend.

  
“What about you,  _ Confessor _ ? You might be the most violent of all,” She hissed, “We all know that you’re taking out your own  _ wrath _ on these confessions. You’re angry at the world and Joseph telling you it’s going to end is a thread you’re clinging onto instead of dealing with your issues!”

  
“Shut the fuck up!”

  
“No, you were abused, John. You all were, you can say it!” she stressed, “But stop pretending that your belief in Joseph is anything other than a coping mechanism!”

  
“Now look who is preaching.” John growled, looking her up and down with eyes colder than she’d ever seen, “If that’s how you really feel, then why are you still here?”

  
“Because I…”

_  
Because I love you… _

  
The radio attached to her belt crackled, Earl’s voice joining the room as John stood in front of her.

  
“Sheriff Whitehorse to Deputy Jackson, come in Jackson?”

  
John continued to stare at her with an unrelenting gaze, his jaw clenched, silently daring her to answer the call over his question. Gritting her teeth, her eyes squeezed shut as she grabbed the radio.

  
“This is Jackson,” she replied, forcing the levity in her voice as John turned away from her, the disgust on his face like a punch in the stomach.

  
“Rey, we’ve got a situation at the Baron Lumbermill. Get there as soon as you can. Over.”

  
“Understood, over and out.” She replaced the silent radio on her hip, John shaking his head, “John…”

  
“No!” he snapped, levelling a finger at her and pointing to the door, “Just go. We can’t go on pretending that this was going to work forever. So I’ll make it really easy for you...just leave, it’s already what you’re so good at!”

  
“You know what, fine!” Rey hissed, snatching her holster from the dresser, “You’re right, we’ve clearly reached our fucking shelf life. You know what? I hope that Joseph is right because if he’s not...you’re going to have to live with what you’ve done and I’m not going to be around to pick up those pieces!”

  
The slam from the bedroom door as she left landed so hard he felt it through the floorboards.

  
“Fuck!”

  
A primal roar joined the sound of his fist colliding with the wall, blood on his knuckles dripping to the floor.

00000

Rey’s knuckles on the steering wheel were ghostly white, tears drying on her cheeks as she sped down the road towards the Whitetail mountain region.

_  
You’re such a little idiot… _

  
She’d fallen for him. Like a lamb to the slaughter, she’d fallen for every heated glance and every sweetened word until he made her forget who she was, what she stood for. It was for the best, right? They stood on opposite sides of an ideology, neither wanting to budge. Sooner or later it would have ended in tears.

  
If it was all for the best if he was truly her loathed enemy at the core of things, then why did she feel like her heart was breaking? She sucked in a sharp breath, shaking her head. She needed to pull herself together and at least this job she was being sent on would give her a much-needed distraction.

  
Her radio was going haywire. Earl, Eli and Jess among others screaming on all frequencies for help. More cars and trucks joined the hellacious race towards the mill, the sound of gunfire already echoing in the distance.

  
“Holy shit!”

  
Slamming her breaks on, Rey grabbed her rifle, jumping out the truck to join the others all racing towards the scene. The area was covered in smoke and debris, screams and shouts of battle all around them. 

  
It was the standoff she’d always known was coming. A war zone.

  
“Nice of you to join us!” Sharky shouted, unloading a few rounds as she approached the outer fence.

  
“Sharky, what the fuck is going on?” Rey yelled over the din. 

  
“Peggies are making a push to take this place back.” He shrugged, pulling the pin on a grenade and throwing it as far as he could, “Eli put out the call for as much help as he could get but Jacob is laying it on pretty thick!”

  
“I’ll fucking say!” Rey snorted.

  
She pushed forward with the rest, firing rounds towards any enemy that stood in her way. There was no way Eli would the mill back into Jacob’s hands, not after the way the eldest Seed brother had kept people caged like animals, but there were so many. Wave after wave of people. Kill or be killed.

  
Squinting through the smoke, Rey could just make out Hurk lying on the ground, his leg caught between the jaws of a Judge.

  
“Hurk!” She cried, sprinting forward to boot the animal away, “Are you alright?”

  
“Thanks, Dep, I always said you were a God damn angel!” 

  
“Can you walk?” 

  
Hurk tested his stance, almost collapsing again.

  
“Shit! Am I gonna lose my leg!?”

  
“We need to get out of the way.” Rey declared, offering him a shoulder to lean on to take him to safety, “Come on- Oh  _ fuck _ !”

  
A line of bullets began to riddle the ground, Rey only just able to throw Hurk and herself out of the line of strafe fire and under a canopy. The sound was deafening, the engines of the air support roaring as the planes circled back around for another try.

  
“We need to get out of here!” She screamed, “This place is going to be overrun!”

  
“Grace and Jess are still inside the mill. We can’t leave ‘em.” Hurk told her, still clutching his leg.

  
Rey looked towards the imposing structure, the sound of fighting just as frenzied. He was right. If those planes started bombing, there would be nothing left except bodies buried under the debris.

  
“I’ll get them.” 

00000

The deputy had been a distraction.

  
That was all. She had been a distraction from his true purpose and that was preparing for the collapse. Her hazel eyes, kind smile and beautiful body had been nothing but a temptation, and now that temptation was gone.

  
John didn’t care one bit.

He was listening to the radio out of habit, not because he was worried about her.

John leaned back in his office chair, his fingers absently drumming on his desk. Some might have described him as anxious, but he knew better. The fact all the calls that had passed the open frequencies had been panicked, the sound of gunfire and explosions in the background was inconsequential.

  
“ _ Sheriff Whitehorse on all frequencies, what is the situation with my people? Please respond.” _

  
“ _ We’ve got eyes on Jackson. Deputy Jackson inbound!” _

  
Still, he couldn’t stop his heart beating a little faster.

00000

Rey’s stomach heaved when she burst into the building, the sickly sweet smell of burning fresh reaching her. The whole place, inside and out, was an honest to God warzone. Dead bodies from all sides littered the ground and walkways above, both peggies and resistance alike.

  
She lowered her gun, eyes stinging as she took it all in. Everything felt so senseless. The resistance would kill today, the peggies would kill tomorrow. Could they possibly keep going in circles until there was nobody left? A cold pit settled in her stomach realising that maybe, just maybe, John hadn’t been entirely wrong.

  
The whole building shook, the walls quivering as the planes overhead continued to dive. Rey shook herself out of it. There would be time for soul searching and apologies later.

  
“Jess? Grace?” She screamed, her eyes nipping with dust as she searched. The visibility was impossible, seeing only a meter in front of her face. 

  
“Rey?!” Grace shouted back from above, “Jess is with me!”

  
“We need to get out of here! They’re going to take this whole build-”

  
The first explosion threw her, landing on her back with a solid thud, blurred vision and ringing ears. Everything hurt. Something wet dripped from her hairline, falling over her eyebrow and painting her already dirt-covered face scarlet.

  
“Rey, come on, we’ve got to move!” Grace was standing above her, offering her a hand to her feet, “You’re right. This whole place is going up in flames!”

  
Still dizzy, Rey felt herself pulled upright to follow Grace.

00000

“ _ Chosen to commence bombing runs. Burn that place to the ground. _ ”

  
John stopped pacing to blink at the radio. Had he really heard that right? Was Jacob really going to call in an airstrike on the place?

  
His grip tight on his glass, John threw back the last of his scotch. Normally he stayed away from alcohol, even the smell reminding him of his vices from his days as John Duncan, but tonight he needed something to steady his nerves.

  
He’d told himself he didn’t care, spent hours repeating the mantra in his head but nothing worked. His stomach still lurched every time a transmission came through, his chest still ached and he knew that his pride had caused this fall.

  
It was why he had carved the word into his inner arm.

  
Because he did care. He cared too fucking much. The last words he’d spoken to her were in anger. So blinded by hubris that the idea of her choosing anyone but him hurt more than he could ever admit.

00000

The acrid smell of blood and smoke filled her nostrils, threatening to choke the life from her as she ran on shaky legs, trying to follow Grace and Jess as best she could. Fires were rising rapidly through the mill, the dry wood only serving as kindling. 

  
Friend or foe, nobody cared as everyone began to flee, trying to escape the inferno licking at their heels. The insidious sound of creaking metal above them filled the crackling air, the support beams of the building barely holding together, raining dust down on the already clogged atmosphere.

  
But she could see the exit in sight, just a few steps more.

  
“AH!”

  
Something tripped her, Rey almost falling face first. Someone on the ground had grabbed her leg. Reaching for her pistol, she was ready to fire when the man looked up at her with wide eyes.

  
“Please...please help me!” He begged her, hysterical, “I don’t want to die here!”

  
He was a peggie. The cult’s symbol painted on his forehead and all over his clothing. His leg was pinned under a pile of debris, trapped by the weight. He was terrified, pulling at his useless limb frantically.

  
“Rey come on, let's go!” Jess shouted from the door. 

  
Rey looked between Jess and the fallen stranger. So many people had died already, but this man was begging her to save his life.

_  
Protect and defend… _

  
“Rey! Don’t be stupid, we need to get out of here!” Grace echoed, shielding herself from the smoke with her scarf.

  
It could have been so easy to leave him. Just another body at the scene of the fighting, but could she live with herself knowing that someone asked for help, and she had run?

  
“Fuck!” Rey hissed, running back towards the stranger.

00000

Pristine hair in complete disarray, his shirt open where he’d haphazardly pulled it back on after atoning on his own arm, blood drying into the sleeve. 

  
No transmission had mentioned her by name, but there had been plenty to listen to. That was good. Normally, there would be a call if an officer was taken down, right? But then again, this wasn’t a regular fight. It was guerilla warfare at its core and the whole place sounded so chaotic it would be impossible to find a single person. The radio continued.

  
“ _ This is Eli. Anyone hearing this needs to get out of the area. Peggies have air support, I repeat, peggies have air support! _ ”

  
“ _ Requesting urgent medical assistance. All regions remain on standby for incoming wounded!” _

_  
“Fall back! Everyone fall back!” _ _  
_ _  
_ _  
“Wheaty is down. I repeat, Wheaty is down!” _ _  
_ _  
_ _  
“We’re going to fucking die here…” _

  
He needed air. Pacing a trench in his office wasn’t going to do his peace of mind any good. Fully aware he looked like a crazy person, muttering to himself as he threw open his balcony doors. The cold air cleared his foggy senses but it was tinged with something else, something thick that caught the back of his throat.

  
In the distance to the north, a thick plume of black smoke was rising and John felt his blood run cold.

00000

“Okay, what’s your name?” Rey asked the man quickly.

  
“Marcus.”

  
“Great, Marcus, can you wiggle your toes or move your foot?” 

  
He looked uncertainly at his leg, Rey urging him to hurry up and answer. It was growing hotter inside the crumbling building by the second. They didn’t have the luxury of time. Experimentally he tried to move, wailing in pain.

  
“No! Sorry, no, it’s too much!” he cried. 

  
Rey fought a groan. There was no time to be delicate.

  
“I’m sorry, this is going to hurt a lot but if we don’t get out of here soon, we’re both going to be trapped.” She explained hastily, “I’m going to have to drag you, okay?”

  
He nodded, clearly still terrified but what else could she do? Hooking her arms under his, Rey pulled with all the strength she had left. Marcus screamed, his leg slowly dragging under the pile of bricks. The limb was mangled, covered in blood that saturated his trousers. 

  
Every breath took effort, her lungs burning with the lack of oxygen. Her back aching, she bent down to loop Marcus over her shoulder. He was panting with pain, babbling his words of praise to both her and The Father as she walked them closer to the door. 

  
Grace and Jess were waiting, staring at her like she was crazy but she couldn’t care. She’d done the right thing. 

  
“Just a few more steps...a few more.” Rey ground out, gritting her teeth as her body trembled with the strain. 

  
Metal creaked and squealed, finally buckling under the pressure of the failing integrity. 

  
“Tell John I’m sorry!” 

  
Her heart crashed against her ribs, panic taking hold and with one final shove using the last of her failing strength, she threw Marcus out of the door as parts of the roof began to cave in.  He was crying with pain, his leg no doubt broken in so many places but at least he was alive. Rey looked up from where she had fallen backwards. The way out was blocked.

  
“Rey! Can you hear me?!” Grace called, “You need to try and get to another exit, we can’t get to you!”

  
It was so hot, she felt like her skin was shrinking. Lying down would be so much easier and she was so damn tired. Her limbs were dead weight, eyes stinging from smoke, tears and blood. Grace began to sound faint as she screamed at her friend to try and get up, to fight, to find another way out.

  
Maybe it was easier this way. She was tired of fighting, tired of trying to choose what was right. Tears began to slip down the sides of her temples, her glassy gaze looking upwards to the ceiling where she lay. 

“This is fine,” she mumbled to herself, chaos around her.

  
The last thing she thought of before her world turned black was a pair of blue eyes and how much she would miss them.

00000

“Jacob, come on. I’m begging you,  _ stop _ !” John snapped down the phone, pacing the room like a caged animal.

  
“It’s too late, John. It’s done,” Jacob sighed, almost regrettable, “The whole place is going to be nothing but ashes by morning.”

  
John pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezed tight trying to release some pressure. He’d already sent some of his own Chosen to the mill with the strict orders that they were to find the deputy and get her out of there. 

  
“Gag and bind her if you have to!” Had been his exact words. She’d be furious with him, but he’d deal with that later when she was safe.

  
“Why are you getting so fucking wound up?” Jacob questioned on the line, “It’s in  _ my _ region! I don’t tell you how to run the Valley.”

  
“Look, I know that,” John sighed, “It’s just...there’s someone there that I need-”

  
“I’m sorry, brother. Even if I wanted to, it’s too late. I can see it on my cameras, the place is done.”

  
Snarling, John hung up the phone, launching the device across the room. It smashed against the wall, the screen shattering. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered except bringing her home.

_  
Home… _

  
A sharp knock echoed through the door.

  
“What?” John barked. The door slowly opened, a terrified cultist nervously stepping forward, “You better have something positive to tell me.”

  
The man nodded, still apprehensive. 

  
“We found her.”


	10. Ashes (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following on from "Fire" - John has an epiphany about the future of Eden's Gate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict. Takes place before "Vow" and "Snow" but following on from "Fire"
> 
> Chapter warnings: Family arguments, I guess.

The ground below her was moving.

It’s the first thing Rey noticed through the haze. Whatever she was lying on was solid and unforgiving on her aching body. Every muscle felt like it had been pummeled, her joints desperate to crack and stretch but she couldn’t move. Her limbs felt as heavy as her eyes that she forced open only a crack enough to work out where she was. There were shapes around her that resembled people but her vision was still too blurred to make out who. 

The second thing she noticed was that it was decidedly cooler than she remembered. A set of hands cradled the back of her head from the unforgiving surface, another using a mercifully cool, damp cloth to wipe her face. Every struggled inhale through her nose brought back the smell of smoke so strong it made her stomach want to heave.

“Are we taking her to The Father?”

“No, she’s to go straight to John.”

She couldn’t fight it anymore. Her eyes drifted closed as a plastic mask was put over her nose and mouth. The oxygen felt nice as it rushed through her airways. The shadows continued to hover over her and she drifted out of consciousness

00000

John had seen a lot of harrowing things in his life.

As a child he watched his father beat his brothers and himself with a leather belt, his mother barely interested enough to stop it. His foster parents inflicted unspeakable horrors on him, punishing him for sins he hadn’t committed, teaching him the skills in manipulation he required to survive. As a result, he felt almost desensitized to the horrors he and his brothers inflicted in the name of God. He didn’t _know_ these people, there was a degree of separation that kept him comfortable.

He knew Rey. He loved Rey. Rey wasn’t moving.

Belonging to a community that hoarded resources had it’s benefits. knowing she’d been found, John wasted no time in summoning the best doctors they had among their people. He’d ordered them to bring her to his ranch instead of the bunker, the instruction initially causing confusion but they did what he’d asked without question. Another benefit of his position.

He wasn’t prepared for the sight of her lifeless body being carried from the van, covered in soot, grime, and blood. She didn’t react when she was placed on the bed, John barking for everyone except essential personnel to get out. He stood back, stone-faced, watching as they hooked her up to the ECG, monitoring her vital signs carefully.

“Her oxygen saturation was a little low but that’s to be expected given the amount of smoke she probably inhaled. All her other injuries seem superficial. We’ve cleaned them up as best we can.” The doctor explained, his eyes darting to the floor to avoid John’s steely glare.

“Why isn’t she awake?” John asked shortly, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. The doctor swallowed thickly.

“The problem with smoke inhalation isn’t just lack of oxygen. There could be any number of chemicals that could cause damage to the airway,” He explained nervously, “I couldn’t find signs of any other injury but we don’t know exactly what else happened. There may be trauma we don’t know about.”

“What are you saying?” John snapped.

“I’m saying...all we can do is monitor her vitals over the next 24 hours and see if she wakes on her own.” the doctor sighed, knowing it wasn’t what John wanted to hear.

A tiny muscle twitched under John’s eye, the last of his control starting to crumble. With a sharp nod he dismissed the doctor, slamming the door behind the man, desperate to shut out the rest of the world.

His breathing began to come in gulps, leaning against the door. His shoulders trembled, eyes squeezed shut as the pressure in him mounted. Suddenly he spun, a broken howl escaping as he smashed his fists against the wall, hot tears finally spilling down his cheeks. 

Physical pain was normally a distraction, so why wasn’t it working now? His hands pulsed, the skin red raw as he took out his frustration on the rough surface until his legs failed. Sinking to the floor as he sobbed his anguish, his stomach lurched violently, his whole body shaking as he reacted to the overwhelming guilt that washed over.

He was the reason she was lying there. Him, Jacob, Joseph and their whole fucking project. Struggling to his feet, he staggered to the bathroom. Running the cold faucet, he washed out his mouth, cooling his face. He watched her from the doorframe, almost afraid to approach the bedside.

She looked peaceful. If it wasn’t for the tube delivering a steady stream of oxygen up her nose, or the IV line with fluids, he could have pretended she was sleeping. Carefully, he perched on the edge of the bed, brushing hair from her face with shaking hands.

“I’m sorry.” He choked, fresh tears forming in his already raw eyes, “I’m so fucking sorry. I can’t...I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do.” 

He held his breath, hoping that she would respond but was met with nothing but the steady beep of the ECG. John was a man with a plan, the one who was always in control. Now he was drifting into the unknown and the one person who could guide him was gone. He scowled through his tears.

“Wake up!” he demanded, “Please, wake up...don’t leave me like this. We still have so much to do, to talk about...you can’t...it’s…it’s not fair!”

Another emotion began to push past his upset, anger bubbling in his chest compounded by fear. He stood, his hands carding through his hair as he paced, stopping to point an accusing finger at the unconscious woman.

“Why couldn’t you have just _stayed_ ?!” He hissed, his voice broken, “You could have just stayed with me, but _no_. You left!”

His argument died as quickly as he’d started it, his chest painfully tight.

“You left...because I told you to go.” he whispered, falling to his knees by her side, “I didn’t mean it. I...I didn’t mean it.”

Leaning his elbows on the bed, John clasped his hands, his eyes closed tightly.

“God, I need you. I know I don’t deserve it. None of us do,” he prayed, “I thought I knew your plan. I thought...I thought I knew my place in all this, but if this was to show me how far we’ve strayed from your path...please, help me. Help _her_.”

He took a deep breath, fighting another sob.

“Are you punishing me?” He asked quietly, looking up to the ceiling, “Have I fallen so far out of your grace?”

Next to him, Rey remained unchanged. He reached for her limp hand, squeezing her fingers in the vain hope she would squeeze back.

“Tell me what to do…”

00000

Rey had fought through the night, being carried back to the ranch by the early hours of the morning. Now the noon sun began to hang high in the sky and John grew tenser with every passing hour.

Every so often her doctor checked her vitals, confirming that there was no change to worry about. It was something, but still not an answer that John wanted to hear. 

The death toll was beyond imagination. So many of their own had perished and he imagined the resistance heard a similar story. Was _this_ what Joseph had envisioned? John couldn’t prevent the sick feeling in his gut. 

He believed in Joseph. He always had, even as a child, but now he felt conflicted. 

_You were abused, John._

Her final words to him, shouted through a veil of tears cut through him like a knife. His father, his foster parents. He once believed that it was part of God’s plan, to bring him back to his brothers and turn him into the man he needed to be. His past made him The Baptist.

Now, Rey was lying there and he felt the full weight of God’s judgment on his shoulders.

The voice he’d buried away for so long, the one who questioned his immoral decisions was free. The drugging and coercion, the forced violent confessions. Violence that only ever leads to more violence. He felt drunk, his head spinning as he collapsed in front of the toilet, his stomach heaving with suppressed guilt. 

Something had to be done. 

“If _anything_ changes I need to be told immediately, understood?” he instructed. The doctor nodded quickly.

He hadn’t wanted to leave her. The idea of Rey waking and he wasn’t there made him feel ill, but what he had to say couldn’t wait. The chopper landed outside the gates of Joseph’s compound. He hated the devoted stares his brothers and sisters gave him, fueling his conflict. His coat billowed behind him, his head held high as he pushed his way into Joseph’s home.

Inside, his siblings were already waiting.

“What was so important you needed us all here?” Jacob asked, “I’ve got business I need to take care of back north.”

Joseph sat calmly in his armchair, Faith perched daintily on the armrest of the sofa while Jacob paced. 

“Things need to change,” John stated clearly, ignoring Jacob to look Joseph in the eye. The middle Seed remained passive as if waiting for further explanation.

“Change? What are you talking about?” Faith asked, “Things are going well for us…”

“Really, Faith? Drugging people until they’re vegetables? Taking people against their will? The killing?” John snapped, “You think that’s going well?!”

“Whoa, where is this coming from, _Baptist_?” Jacob questioned, “You didn’t have any issues with how we were conducting business before?”

“This is about the deputy,” Joseph answered, his face still calm as he stood from his chair. John’s jaw clenched tightly, his chin raised in defiance.

“It’s more than just her.”

“But it did start with her,” Joseph interrupted, “What has happened to you, John?”

“What’s happened? My eyes have been opened, Joseph!” he shouted, “We talk about love, about hope and the future but all we’re doing is causing pain! Don’t you remember how it was in the beginning? You spoke about community, about offering support. Now we’re...we’re fucking _bombing_ people! You made me believe that we were part of something bigger, that God had a plan for us from the start...I don’t believe this is it!”

The room was still, Jacob and Faith silent between the two brothers. John had known Joseph long enough to see past the calm exterior, the twitch in his eye a tell that he was beyond furious.

“How dare you say that to me.” Joseph growled softly, “How can you tell me that all our suffering has been in vain...God tested us…”

“God abandoned us!” John exclaimed, “I used my faith in God, in you and this project as another way to cope but now...now I know that this is wrong. The collapse may be coming, but I won’t, _I can’t,_ hurt these people anymore.”

“I think we should just calm down…” Jacob tried to reason, Faith cowering back from the shouting.

For the first time since he’d entered, Joseph’s expression clearly shifted, his eyes widening.

“You can’t do that. John, we need you!” He stressed, “If you waver now everything we’ve already accomplished will fall apart!”

“It’s already falling apart!” John screamed, “We’re killing each other, going around in circles until there will be nobody left to fucking save. Look how many we just lost! How can you say that you love your flock but you’ll mindlessly send them to die for you? This is _not_ the way.”

“Stop fighting!” Faith begged with tears in her eyes.

“It is the _only_ way!” Joseph fired back, “You haven’t seen what I have, you don’t know! I will not have you walking away from this family!”

“Enough! That’s enough, both of you.” Jacob yelled, stepping in between the two men. Carefully he turned to Joseph, The Father finally having lost control. His breathing slowed, his older brother placing a hand on his shoulder, “Joe...when you talk like that...you sound like Dad.”

A flash of pain crossed Joseph’s face, the middle child stumbling back to his chair. Removing his glasses, he rubbed his face taking a deep breath. Slowly, the tension began to dissipate from the room, John also took a seat.

“I just wanted to save them.” Joseph whispered, “I wanted to be what we never had. A role model, a leader….a father.”

“I know,” Jacob sympathized, “But...maybe Johnny has a point. Instead of forcing our hand, maybe it’s time to focus on the souls who _want_ to be saved. If the weak want to perish then perhaps we should let them. The strong will come to us on their own.”

Joseph pondered the idea, looking at his youngest brother with sad eyes.

“I thought...I thought I was helping you.” He sighed, “All I ever wanted to do…”

“I know,” John smiled sadly, “You once told me that you’d seen me die young and you’d seen me die old, the only difference was how much love I let into my heart. Joseph, I...I fell in love. I believe it’s what we need to do.”

“And I’m not about to lose my baby brother to religious stubbornness!” Jacob added pointedly. 

“I...I’m sorry, Joseph.” John said quietly, his eyes stinging with familiar pressure, “I never wanted to disappoint you.”

His words wounded, Joseph visibly flinching.

“I should be the one apologizing. To all of you.” Joseph replied, “I...I don’t know how I got so lost. I don’t know how we can even begin to make amends.”

“Contact Earl Whitehorse. Offer a ceasefire. Propose peace talks.” John pressed enthusiastically, “We can’t fix this overnight and there are going to be people who will never forgive but it’s a start.”

Joseph looked unsure, John leaning forward on his knees with a small smile.

“Ephesians 4:32, _‘_ _Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you._ _’_ ” he quoted, “Offer the olive branch, brother.”

Joseph smiled. A ghost of an expression that seemed to put the rest of his siblings at ease.

“I will hold a service tonight. The flock must be told.” he declared, standing, “The collapse is still upon us. We must still prepare, but...now maybe we must change our strategy.”

“Thank you.” John said sincerely, “I need to return to Holland Valley.”

“Yes, how is Deputy Jackson?” Joseph asked. 

“She’s...still not awake.” He answered tightly, “And I’d like to be there when she does.”

“Shit John, I’m sorry.” Jacob sighed, “You know, when you called I had a feeling that’s who you were looking for but I was telling the truth, it really was too late…”

“It’s...fine. We could all go in circles apologizing.” John said shortly, “So you all knew, huh?”

“We _all_ knew!” Faith sniggered, every inch the bratty youngest sister, “Honestly, it was the worst kept secret in the county!”

John had the grace to look sheepish, a blush spreading across his cheeks as his siblings had fun at his expense. Joseph smiled sincerely.

“I hope she’s the future you’re looking for, brother.”

“She is.”

00000

Movement and noise had been replaced with comfort and calm.

Something itched in her nostrils, but at least the smell of smoke was gone. Her senses were slowly beginning to return. Hazy images of a battle, of gunshots and bombs falling from planes, began to come back to her. She frowned, her eyes still closed.

“Rey?”

She knew that voice. It used to make her shiver with fear and boil her blood but that was before. Now it was a comfort, drawing her closer to consciousness.

“Come on, Angel. Open your eyes for me.”

A warm hand cupped her cheek, the surface below her shifting with someone’s weight. She experimentally began to open her eyes, relieved that the light in the room was low.

She blinked rapidly, her vision slowing coming into focus until John’s face became clear. His relieved smile set her mind at ease, a hand stroking her hair.

“Hey, you.” She barely recognized her own voice, rough from the past 24 hours.

John blurted a laugh, still staring at her with disbelief. He picked up her hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“You scared the fuck out of me!” He breathed, holding her hand to his cheek.

Gingerly she pushed herself to a seated position, John muttering about moving too quickly the whole time. Guilt began to gnaw at her when she finally took in his appearance. 

The John she knew was neat bordering on vain. His hair was a mess, greasy from his hands and hanging near his red, tired eyes. His clothes clearly needed changed and he was badly in need of a shower. 

It all came flooding back to her. Him asking her to stay, their fight and the things she’d said to him, the fire, and how he was the last person she’d thought of. Her lip trembled as she pulled the tube from her nose.

“John, I’m so sorry!” she choked, “The things I said to you...the way I said them…”

He grasped her face softly, thumbs tracing her cheeks as he pressed a desperate kiss to her forehead.

“It doesn’t matter.” he soothed, pulling her close to him, “It doesn’t matter anymore. None of it. What matters is that you’re here, you’re safe and we’re together.”

He could feel her clinging to him, her fingers gripping to the meat of his arm as her face buried into his neck. 

“There were so many people, John. So many,” she said quietly, her voice far away. Suddenly she pushed herself back to look at him, her eyes alarmed, “Oh my God. Marcus. What happened to Marcus?”

“Who is Marcus?” John frowned. 

“Well, he’s a peg-” she cleared her rough throat, “He’s one of you. He...he was trapped inside the mill and I tried to get him out. I couldn’t see him once I got stuck! Do you think he made it?” she babbled.

“Shh, it’s alright. Calm down,” John said, stroking her hair, “I’m sure he’s alright. I promise I’ll find out for you, okay?”

“Okay.” Rey nodded, her eyes forlorn, “I just...he told me he didn’t want to die there. He was asking for help. I couldn’t leave him.”

“I know,” John agreed, kissing her temple, “That’s what makes you...you. I hate that you were there in the first place but...things are going to be different from now on, I promise.”

Rey looked confused.

“What do you mean?” she asked, “John, what have you done?”

He kissed her gently, halting her questions and pressing his forehead to hers.

“Just, let me get you checked by the doctor now you’re awake and then I promise I’ll tell you everything, alright?” he reasoned.

Rey eyed him warily but nodded her agreement nonetheless, falling back onto the pillows.

00000

“So you actually did it? You’ve sent word to Whitehorse about peace talks?” John asked Joseph.

Joseph nodded as the brothers walked together on John’s property, the late afternoon sun hanging low in the sky, casting a warm glow over the land. There was a chill in the air, the promise of a cold snap on the way.

“I did.” Joseph confirmed, “I hope you’re right about this, John.”

“Where’s your faith, brother?” John shot him a wry smile.

Nearby, sitting at the table under the canopy of the main building was Rey. She was still healing, her body still covered with cuts and bruises, but past the superficial, the doctor had given her a clean bill of health. The only warning was that she'd have to take it easy for a while.

Not that she’d really listened. She’d driven John spare trying to get out of bed, insisting that she needed to make herself useful as if she hadn’t almost died. Even the faithful who worked the grounds of the Seed ranch had grown used to seeing her around, knowing that if Rey was wandering, it would only be a matter of time until the flustered Confessor followed. Faith had been correct when she’d said they were the worst kept secret in the county. Only the resistance seemed to be none the wiser.

“Who is that with the deputy?” Joseph asked curiously. 

Sitting across from Rey was a man dressed in Eden’s Gate clothing. His leg was plastered in a cast up past his knee, resting on a stool out to the side and a set of crutches next to him. She was smiling, laughing as the man spoke. Pictures littered the table, the pair gushing over the children on each one. John smiled fondly.

“That is Marcus. We bought his farm years ago from him and his wife. He’s one of our faithful who was caught at the Baron mill fire,” John explained, “Turns out the reason Rey got caught in that building is that she stopped to save his life.”

Joseph regarded the pair with interest, stroking his beard thoughtfully. 

“The deputy has a forgiving soul.” Joseph eventually commented. John nodded.

“She does, and she’s sure others do too.” John replied, “That’s why I think this is going to work. Over there? That’s our future.”

Rey looked up from the pictures on the table, waving to John and Joseph and stifling a laugh as Marcus stared at her, aghast at how casual she was regarding The Father and The Baptist.

“That’s our future.” Joseph echoed.


	11. Boredom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long after the peace talks that settled the war in Hope County, the Collapse finally happened and Rey discovers that living in an underground bunker for 6 years gets boring. She needs a project and much to John's chagrin, she finds one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Takes place after the collapse. Rey and John are married, the collapse has come and they're in the bunker.
> 
> Chapter warning: Complete silly nonsense and a bit of fluff. Pray for John.

The end of the world as she knew it was fucking boring.

Sure, the outside was burned to an irradiated cinder and Rey was grateful to be alive but she wasn’t best suited to living below ground. Most of her friends had made it to the bunkers, Joseph offering them a place as part of the peace talks. They’d sniggered and thanked him anyway, but they sure as hell weren’t laughing when the first bombs began to drop.

John was lying next to her, peacefully snoring into his pillow. She supposed there were perks to being The Baptist’s wife and comfortable, private living quarters were one of them. She envied how easily he slept. He actually had a job, his days taken up with the day to day running of the bunker, just as Joseph had tasked him with. He organised work details, food supplies and settled any disputes. 

Rey, on the other hand, hadn’t quite found her feet yet. She was used to the outside, a clear expanse of sky and fresh air. Being trapped in the dirt with nothing to do except watch what was left of the monitors wasn’t her idea of a fun time.

“John?” she whispered, lying on her side to face him, “John?”

She scowled at his sleeping form, the man blissfully unaware of her state. She reached out, scratching her finger on the bridge of his nose. He gave an undignified snort, blinking at her in confusion.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” She smiled. John rubbed his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he grunted, still reluctantly coming to life. 

“Why would there be something wrong?” She asked sweetly. John sighed.

“Because it’s the middle of the night and I know you. So tell me what’s wrong so we can fix it?”

Rey pushed herself up to lean on her hand, looking down at him, her face unimpressed.

“I’m bored.”

“I’ve heard sleep is great for that…”

“I’m serious, John!” she huffed, “I haven’t found anything I want to actually _do_ down here. I need a job, a real one...or a project.”

John sighed again, rolling to his back and opening his arms. Rey accepted the silent invitation, snuggling against his scarred chest. In spite of her frustration, she smiled feeling him press a kiss to the crown of her head.

“I know it’s been a rough adjustment. I’m still trying to get used to it as well,” he sympathised, “But what’s the most important thing?”

“We’re lucky to be alive.” Rey recited dutifully. 

“And we have each other.” John finished, “Tomorrow. We’ll work on finding you a project tomorrow, I promise.”

“Alright, fine.” She agreed.

Frustration still gnawed at her, but it was hard to keep her eyes open when he was stroking her hair. His soft singing voice in her ear, Rey finally drifted to sleep.

00000

The next morning, Rey had woken on a mission. There had to be _something_ she was needed for in the bunker and she was determined to find out. 

Hydroponics and aeroponics was something she didn’t have the first clue about. Visiting the sustainable crop areas of the bunker was interesting but she was sure she’d be about as much use as a chocolate teapot. She decided the same with the engineering and lighting systems. Some of the followers had studied for years to make sure their daylighting worked. She wasn’t about to storm in and ruin it all within minutes.

Security was already her role but it was mainly ceremonial for now. There were few arguments in the bunker that weren’t sorted out with a little time and there was nobody outside to speak of who would want to break in. Stock keeping didn’t interest her and there were no children yet to teach. 

Finding herself at a loose end and in desperate need of coffee, Rey wandered towards the dining hall. She nodded her hello to people as she passed, spying a friendly face at one of the tables.

“Sup, Po-Po!” Sharky grinned, “Another beautiful day in apocalyptic paradise, ain’t it?”

“Something like that.” Rey smirked, filling her cup with powdered creamer, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Are you happy here?” she asked uncertainly. It seemed like such a strange question considering the alternative. It wasn’t like there was anywhere else for them to go.

“Well, I guess so. I mean, I’m happy to be alive.” Sharky replied, “But I dunno, man. Might have been cool to get some of those super radiation powers and be like one of them X-Men!”

Rey snorted. At least Sharky was always good for cheering her up, but she was a little relieved his cousin had made it to a different bunker. She was sure John would have thrown the pair of them out within the first week.

“Guess I’m just still trying to adjust.” Rey sighed, “Not so long ago we were all sure this collapse thing was bullshit and now look at us. We’re literally living in an underground bunker.”

“I do miss being able to mess with flames, but John said no.” Sharky huffed. 

Rey sipped her coffee to hide her smirk. The day Sharky had set the sprinkler system off in the whole complex had already become a legend. John looked amazing soaked to the skin, his shirt clinging to every muscle on his body, but his anger was not something she wanted to repeat.

Sitting quietly, she watched another figure cross the room. Jess still kept her hood up out of habit, Rey supposed. Her eyes were suspicious as she sat down at a table in the far corner, watching every inhabitant warily. Sharky’s eyes had been on her the whole time, practically shining as he followed her.

“What’s Jess doing all the way over there?” Rey asked, “Didn’t she see us?”

“She probably did but she likes it over there in the corner. Says it makes her feel safe,” Sharky sighed, “I was thinking maybe I’ll start sitting over there too. I know when she comes in to get food and stuff...she don’t really like talking to people she don’t know.”

“I think that would be nice,” Rey smiled conspiratorially, “Keeping Jess company.”

“I dunno. Heck, Jess is too nice for the likes of me.” Sharky shrugged, “She’s like...an actual woman.”

“And what am I? A meatloaf sandwich?” Rey frowned. 

“Uh, no. You’re hot as fuck but married to a guy who hung me upside down and beat on me for talking to you.”

Rey scratched the back of her neck, suddenly very interested in her coffee. 

“Okay, fair. He did that. Sorry.” She mumbled.

They talked more, Sharky a wealth of gossip about others in the bunker. All the while Rey paid quiet attention to the fleeting glances Sharky made towards Jess. 

When Sharky dismissed himself, Rey took the opportunity to move table.

“Hey Jess, mind if I sit?” She asked. The scarred girl nodded tentatively.

Peace had been a hard thing for Jess to wrap her head around. Rey’s relationship with John was even more confusing. The young girl had taken it as a betrayal, wounded that someone she let herself get close to had gone behind her back.

It had strained their relationship. The collapse had forced them together again and while things had slowly improved, their friendship still wasn’t quite what it was. 

Jess nodded and Rey sat down across from her.

“How come you’re sitting over here by yourself?” 

“It’s a good position. I can see the whole room from here, see what everyone is up to.” Jess said shortly.

“What everyone is up to?”

“You can’t trust these Peggies!” Jess hissed under her breath. Rey sighed, pushing her hair from her face.

“Jess, in case you didn’t notice we’re all in this together now.” Rey reminded her gently, “I don’t think we can call it ‘them’ and ‘us’ anymore. It’s been months.”

“Well you can’t, you married one of them.” Jess grumbled, “Uh, sorry.”

“It’s fine. I know it was a shock to a lot of people. Still, something to get used to,” she smiled, “You know, there are people here who would love to get to know you better? You’ve got skills you could teach?”

“Yeah right.” Jess scoffed, “I just...I miss the sky man! I miss shooting my bow, y’know?”

“I know.” Rey agreed, “There’s so much I miss about the outside too. I can’t promise you the real sky, but...let me see what I can do.”

Rey stood from the table. Finally, she had a project.

00000

By the time she’d found John, Rey had already been in a full jog around the bunker. John was standing in one of the storage areas, a follower holding a clipboard as he discussed the rotation of canned food.

Her voice echoing between the metal walls made him jump.

“John! I have the best news.” She squealed, rushing towards him. He dismissed the men he’d been talking to, ignoring their smirks.

“Darling, you’re yelling.” He pointed out with an indulgent smile. Casually he looped his arm over her shoulder, her arm around his waist as they wandered towards their room, “Tell me your news.”

“I found a project!”

“That’s great!”

“I’m going to set up Sharky and Jess.”

“...wait, what?”

“Hear me out. Sharky likes Jess. Jess needs to loosen up a little bit and I really think Sharky would help her do that, show her that she doesn’t need to be so suspicious of everyone.” Rey explained, “Don’t you think they’d make a cute couple?”

“Jesus, it’s like high school.” John muttered under his breath, “Your logic is...something, but do you really think you should be meddling like that?” He asked.

Rey stood back as he opened the heavy door to their rooms, an incredulous look on her face.

“Oh, you want to talk about meddling, _Baptist_?” She teased. John turned and leveled a finger at her in a friendly warning.

“Peace talks, remember? Doesn’t count, not allowed to bring that up.” He smirked, “I mean it. Things can get messy...if it’s going to happen, just let it happen. If you want a project, I have a list of issues you could help me with!”

“Too late.” She grinned, “Wheel is already turning. My thoughts are already in motion!”

John sighed, sitting down in the armchair before a wall of security screens. Rey planted herself in his lap, a proud smile on her face.

“There’s no stopping you now, is there?” His arms snaked around her waist, “Didn’t anyone tell you the next 7 years down here are supposed to be peaceful?”

“Nope.”

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

00000

“Huh. I didn’t even know this was here!”

What Rey had needed was an empty room. Over the months since they had retreated to the bunker, empty rooms weren’t always easy to find. Housing people comfortably, storing enough food and growing more, waste treatment and generators. All of it took up space and Rey was willing to bet the heralds hadn’t taken recreational activities into account. 

The room was a decent size. Rey stretched her arms with a satisfied smile, indulgently jogging around the space. It was perfect for what she had planned.

She’d roped a few followers into helping. Not that it was difficult, most were tripping over themselves when they knew _John’s wife_ needed help with something. An hour later, three large bags of rice were set up on stools at the end of the room, freshly painted targets on each.

“Where are we going?” Jess asked suspiciously, following Rey down towards her newly discovered room.

“You’ll see but I think you’ll like it!” Rey promised. 

They entered the room, Jess’s keen eyes evaluating the place like the huntress she was. In front of the targets sat two compound bows.

“Firing guns might be against the rules, but there’s nothing to stop a little archery practice!” Rey grinned.

Jess’s eyes lit up accepting the bow from Rey. It was the first time the deputy had seen her friend genuinely happy.

“Oh man, it’s been so long!” Jess gasped, checking the tension in the string.

“Yeah, I found this room just lying empty and I figured it would be good for some exercise! I know it’s not the same as it used to be but…”

“There’s a lot of things that aren't the same as they used to be,” Jess said quietly, but she offered a smile, “But this is really nice, thanks.”

Jess released the first arrow. It sailed towards the target, landing firmly in the bag. Her reaction was better than Rey could have imagined, the pair laughing and talking the way they used to. 

All the while, she kept an eye on the door until the person she was waiting for wandered in.

“Sharky! How nice to see you.” Rey grinned. 

He stopped short, his wide eyes falling on Jess. 

“Uh, hey Dep, Jess. I got your note. What are you guys doing?”

“I made a little shooting range!” Rey replied proudly, “ _Not_ for guns!” She added firmly, leveling a finger at him.

“Hey, Sharky.” Jess greeted shyly. 

Oh yes, there was _something_ there. Rey was sure of it. Jess was blushing, Sharky looking flustered as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Would you like to try?” Rey asked, offering him the bow. Sharky shook his head.

“I’m not really good with bows. You know me, I’m not the quiet type.” He chuckled awkwardly. 

“Well lucky for you, Jess here is the best archer in the county!” Rey smiled sweetly, shoving the bow into his hand, “I’m sure she’d be happy to give you a lesson. Right, Jess?”

“Oh, uh...yeah. I could teach you,” Jess smiled.

Rey took a step back, watching Jess instruct the firestarter in how to stand. He was smiling at her with smitten eyes, moving his feet the way she told him to. After he’d released a few arrows, the pair talking only to each other, Rey decided it was time to make herself scarce.

“Shit. Sorry guys, I forgot I’d help John with a thing,” she mumbled, backing out of the room.

“What thing?” Jess questioned.

“Some stock thing. He wasn’t very specific, I’ll be back though!” 

She was lying and worse, she was certain Jess knew it too. Sharky was an easier sell, she could brainwash him with an eyedropper if she had to. The minute she was out of their sight, Rey began her sprint back to her rooms.

00000

“Jesus Christ…”

John wasn’t sure what he’d expected to find returning to their shared living space, but Rey sitting watching the security monitors obsessively wasn’t it. She sat in his armchair, a blanket wrapped around her as she was bathed in the blue-white glow from the screens.

“What are you doing?” John asked. 

Rey jumped at the sound of his voice, a wide enthusiastic smile taking over her face as she pointed at one of the screens. 

“Look! Look what I did!” she squealed.

John squinted at the figures. He could just make out what looked like Sharky Boshaw and Jess Black, the pair sitting cross-legged on the floor of a room he didn’t recognize. They seemed to just be talking, smiling at one another and laughing.

“...Where is that?”

“It doesn’t matter! Look, they’re getting along _so_ well.” she grinned. John leaned over the back of the armchair, stroking her hair.

“Darling, how long have you been here for?”

“A few hours,” she shrugged, “But look at them!”

“Uh-huh. I can see them,” John replied, “Don’t you think it’s a little weird to be sitting here spying on your friends?”

“It’s your camera system, Johnny boy!” she smirked, John throwing her a withering look, “Besides, my plan is working! Look how happy Jess looks.”

“Rey, sweetheart, I’m begging you...find another project.” John pleaded, “How about I get you good and pregnant?” he finished with a cheeky grin.

“Nice try.” she drawled, pecking him on the lips and returning to watch the screens.

“I mean it when I say you shouldn’t meddle in people's lives.” John pressed. Rey quirked an eyebrow at him, the Herald rolling his eyes, “Again, peace talks. I’m aware of the irony in that sentence.” he muttered, wandering towards their small bedroom.

On the screen, Sharky and Jess had moved closer. So close, the girl was almost in his lap until suddenly her arms were around him. Jess threw herself onto Sharky, kissing him soundly as her body draped over his on the floor of the solitary room. 

Rey squealed, jumping up onto the seat with her arms raised in victory, her cry drawing John back from the other room. 

“What?! What’s happened?” He asked in a panic, bewildered how she’d gone from sitting soundly to jumping on furniture, “Rey, I really like that chair…”

“Look what I did!” She cried, pointing to the screen. 

“Congratulations. They’re...making out.” John stated, “You must be very proud.”

“You know what, I _am_!” Rey grinned, “I made two people happy for at least a day.”

“Good thing there’s contraception in storage.” John muttered, “Anyway, great, you did it and it only took you...48 hours. Now, what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“That was your project.” John pointed out, “And now it’s done. You’ve got five and a half more years to go until those doors open, Angel.”

Crestfallen, Rey slumped back down in the armchair, a clear pout on her face. John sighed, carding his fingers back through his hair. He hadn’t meant to bring her down, but he had a valid point.

“Look, I’m just saying, there are lots of things you could do here.” he said patiently, “Just...think about it. What do you _really_ miss doing and we’ll take it from there?”

He kissed her, leaving again to change out of his worn clothes. Rey glanced back at the monitors.

“Well...fuck.”

00000

Being the good, selfless husband that he was, John had worked tirelessly to take her mind off her predicament. He had her moaning his name until they were both spent, drifting off to sleep tangled in each other.

Now Rey was awake again, her mind racing with an idea. What she really missed was moving, running, the feeling of being active and blood pumping through her body. She turned to look at his sleeping form, almost hating the thought of waking him.

Almost.

“John?”

“Go sleep, Rey.” He replied without opening his eyes.

“I can’t!”

“Come on! Aren’t you tired? I just gave you some of my best work!” He whined, blinking his eyes open, “What’s wrong?”

“I think I have an idea about what I can do!” She grinned enthusiastically, “I realized something setting up that shooting range. There is a serious lack of recreational activities here. People do work, sure but they need to have fun as well, or they’re all going to end up like me. Bored and frustrated! Remember that room I found? I want to turn it into something, like a gym?”

John rolled to his back, rubbing his tired eyes.

“That’s...actually a great idea.” He admitted, “People could do with some distraction. Especially you.”

“I’m quite sure I don’t know what you mean.” she batted her lashes innocently. John groaned, grabbing to pull her into his chest.

“Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you.” He smiled, feeling her kiss his chest.

“Depends if you think I’m a blessing or a punishment.” She mumbled, her eyes beginning to grow heavy in the warmth of his arms.

“...It’s debatable.”


	12. Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since Joseph announced the Reaping had begun, cult activity had grown more and more aggressive. Finally getting John on his own, Rey has the chance to end things once and for all.
> 
> Something starts instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's canon - Set during the conflict, before their relationship begins.
> 
> Chapter warnings: General smut.

“Oh no you don’t you son of a bitch, get back here!”

Thunder rumbling overhead, Rey set off in pursuit of her enemy, the single figure peeling off from the firefight like a shadow. She had spotted him, however, and John Seed was not getting away so easily.

Not if she could help it.

She cursed the day Earl had told her Eden’s Gate was nothing more than a ‘minor situation’. That might have been the case when she arrived. Now, since the ill-fated attempt to arrest The Father, it was full blown civil war.

The clouds above grew darker, the air charging with the impending downpour. In the distance, heading towards the river she could see him. He was still alone. This was her chance. She could end his grip on Holland Valley, give the people some hope again that their lives weren’t completely forfeit.

He was slowing down, panting for breath, and completely unaware that she was gaining on him. Almost doubled over, Rey took the opportunity to throw herself on him to knock him to the ground.

What she hadn’t taken into account was the river directly in front of him.

“Fuck!” He cried out in surprise, her body colliding with his in a tackle that would make any football coach proud.

They both landed hard, tumbling down the rocky slope in a tangle of flailing limbs until coming to an abrupt stop. Rey groaned looking up from her back on the damp riverbank. 

John was lying on top of her, his dead weight holding her down. His normally perfect hair had fallen forward down the left side, his custom made coat covered in mud. Her body ached from the impact. Large stones were digging into her behind and there was mud in her nostrils. It was a small victory, at least, that he’d lost what she assumed were designer sunglasses. 

Before she could react, he righted himself, straddling her hips and pinning her wrists above her head. 

“That wasn’t very smart, Deputy.” He grinned smugly.

Rey scowled at him, struggling under his weight fruitlessly. 

“Get off me!” Rey growled. The damp mud was soaking through her clothes, chilling her skin as fat droplets of water began to fall.

“I don’t think you really mean that.” John declared confidently, leaning closer to her. 

Rey’s jaw clenched, lifting her chin in the silent challenge but she said nothing. She hated how the weight of him on her was almost a comfort, fighting a groan from the friction of his hips on hers.

She’d always been attracted to John, although she’d never admitted it. From the moment he’d come to the station to introduce himself, she’d had a fascination. The youngest Seed was charismatic, charming and a little too much for a place like Hope County. He was a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit, just like her.

Any time they happened to see each other he flirted, suggesting she came to his ranch for some private bible study. She’d roll her eyes and laugh, trying to hide a blush. As the cult began to grow more aggressive, his behavior slowly changed. By the time she was tasked with slapping the cuffs on his brother, John was darker than she’d ever known him.

And she hated that it made her attraction worse.

“I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. You’re going to come with me and we’re going to finish what we started.” He growled, his breath hot and sweet on her face, “You will confess to me every little indiscretion, every minor offense, every sin. I’ll have you screaming for me.”

“You are so full of yourself!” Rey spat, trying to wiggle her hips, “What happened to that guy who used to leave a coffee on tab for me at the diner?”

“Oh, I’m still here darling, I promise.” He purred, “But you and your little resistance have been pushing the wrong buttons.”

Her chest heaved with effort, her eyes locking with his. The sound of the rain pelting against the river almost drowned out his words, water running through his hair and soaking them both. The blue of his eyes seemed as stormy as the sky above them, blown pupils moving rapidly as he examined her features.

He moved without warning, without words. Rey barely registered that he’d closed the gap between them, his lips molding against hers. Instinctively her eyes closed, a soft whimper escaping unbidden as she relaxed against him.

The little voice in the back of her head was screaming, telling her that he was her enemy. He’d done wicked things to the people she cared about but, oh God, how soft his lips were, the way his tongue moved had a fire burning low in her belly that threatened to engulf her.

She nipped at his lower lip, feeling him smile into the kiss. She wasn’t in control anymore, her body arching into his, the grip on her wrists beginning to give.

The need for air forced the break, both gasping. Rey blinked up at him, eyes bleary from rain and lust. The expression he wore was curious, staring at her almost in wonder and Rey was left with nothing but shame.

Taking advantage of his dropped guard, she twisted violently, throwing his body from hers to the mud with a groan. Before he could right himself, she was up to her feet. Her legs burned as she ran, wet denim clinging to her skin painfully and her only thoughts were that of escape.

John sat up, soaked head to toe and covered in mud. His fingers drifted to his lips, smiling to himself.

“That was interesting…”

00000

The safety of her own home was the only place Rey could dwell about what happened. She’d expected his mocking call through her radio, but to her chagrin, nothing came. It remained silent and she hated that it bothered her.

She was a deputy of Hope County, tasked with keeping people safe. Rey was pretty sure that making out with the man terrorizing Holland Valley did not fall under ‘serve and protect’. 

Her feelings didn’t make sense, but it didn’t change anything. Despite all he’d done, there was still something there, a magnetic attraction that had her head spinning.

She needed to get him out of her system. That was it, or so she told herself. It was definitely why she was sneaking through the woods in the moonlight to get into his ranch. He’d gloat, of that she was sure, but at least she’d know for certain and could purge herself of any residual feelings.

Slipping inside the main building of his ranch, Rey moved silently through his home. The whole place was just so... _John._ Expensive furniture, the scent of leather and gunpowder in the air, Eden’s Gate propaganda littering the sitting room. 

She found him in his bedroom in the process of removing his waistcoat, the garment thrown over the back of a chair as he began to unbutton his shirt. Rey slipped inside the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

He stopped, spying her in the mirror. He smiled without turning around.

“I was wondering when you’d show up.” He said nonchalantly.

His manner already had her on edge, gritting her teeth as she approached.

“Still so full of yourself!” She sneered, faking her confident tone. 

“You’re here aren’t you?” John shrugged, turning to her, “That makes me right.”

He sauntered closer to her, the scent of his cologne catching her nostrils. Warm and spiced, it invaded her body like a drug, silencing her common sense. 

“Why are you here?” He asked, “And before you answer, I already know why...I just want to hear you say it.”

“What happened at the river can’t happen again.” She stated firmly. John laughed, high pitched, and clearly amused.

“And yet, here you are.” He grinned, “You’d think if you didn’t want that you’d be staying as far away as possible.”

“How do you know I’m not here to kill you?” She challenged. 

“I know you well enough, Deputy. If you were here to kill me, you’d have done it by now.”

She hated how much of a point he made, shattering her argument in one sentence. Frozen to the spot, he moved towards her, so close she could feel the heat of his body. His nose traced over her temple, his breath against her ear.

“I’ll give you what you want. You know what you need to say.” He whispered, her eyes fluttering closed.

She hated that stupid fucking word. It was on posters, on billboards, on a 50-foot high sign overlooking the valley and now it was all that stood between common sense and madness. His fingers were tracing her arms, skin tingling wherever he touched, a hand sliding up around her neck. 

“I fucking hate you.” She hissed, her lips barely an inch from his. He smiled viciously, fingers on her neck tightening. 

“Of course you do.” He agreed, “Be a good girl and I’ll give you what you want. Tell me that you want this.”

_Fuck it..._

“Yes.” 

Growled, almost feral as she gave in, her hands fisted the collar of his shirt. Their first kiss had been gentle in comparison, lips clashing violently as they tugged and pulled at each other’s clothes. A hand migrated to her hair, tightening its grip when he heard the sound of ripped fabric.

“Careful, darling. My clothes are expensive.” He crooned arrogantly. Not to be outdone, reluctant to give him full control, Rey grabbed a handful of his own dark locks.

“For once can you just shut the fuck up!” She hissed, pulling him back to her. If she was kissing him breathless then there was less chance of him talking.

She kicked away the jeans pooled around her ankles, her boots already abandoned in their frenzied attempt to strip one another. Her stomach tightened as his lips trailed along her jaw, tongue tracing her pulse as he danced her to the bed, pushing her back to crawl up her body. 

This meant nothing. She didn’t need affection from him, she didn’t want it. John was fulfilling a need that had grown from frustration and that was it. Tomorrow they’d go back to trying to kill each other. 

At least that’s what she told herself.

Grasping the side of her panties, John pulled sharply, the lace tearing away. Rey growled under her breath but John only grinned, watching her annoyance melt away when he dragged a finger through her slit.

“There must be something you like about me, deputy.” He teased, his fingers slowly circling her clit, “Your body is betraying you. You’re absolutely dripping.”

He’d fantasized about the deputy plenty before. She’d been one of the few who hadn’t fallen for his charm immediately when he’d first introduced himself but over time, he’d seen the way she would smile at him. It was a shame his higher calling with the project had taken priority. 

But it didn’t matter. She was here now regardless.

“John, if you don’t shut up and fuck me properly I’m going to shoot you in the face!” Rey snapped. 

He chuckled darkly, loving every minute of her frustration and how much control she was unwittingly giving him. Part of him wanted to draw it out, to make her suffer a little longer but he was painfully hard. His cock throbbed, desperate for his own release.

Positioning himself over her body, they both groaned as he pushed in, her slick cunt taking him to the hilt. Ragged breathing, he gazed down at her hungrily, their eyes locking as if comprehending what they were actually doing.

Like the tension pulling two ends of a wire, it finally broke. A slow drag followed a sharp thrust, experimentally testing her reactions before he set a punishing pace. She gripped his back, nails raking down his scarred skin as he hammered at her, the only sounds a mixture of animalistic snarls and growls. 

“Ah, fuck!” He cursed, her teeth sinking into his shoulder. He returned the gesture, pulling her hair as he bent his head, sucking a nipple before biting down. The pain shot through her body, only adding to the assault on her senses. 

He slammed into her again and again, the movement cracking the headboard off the wall joining the incessant string of moans and encouragement. He could feel her cunt fluttering around him, her moans growing urgent as he pushed her towards the edge, Rey growing so desperate she was begging for her release.

“You going to cum for me?” He panted, bringing a hand to where they were joined, circling her soaked clit, “I know you want to, I can feel how badly you need it. Do it, cum for me.”

It was all too much, the movement of his hips and his skilled hands stoking the heat in her belly until she couldn’t stand it.

“Oh my God, John!” She cried, her back arching as every muscle tensed with pleasure. It left her a trembling, gasping mess when her orgasm finally ended, gripping onto him like her life depended on it. His own thrusts grew erratic, gasping for breath as he came, filling her with his spend. 

Exhausted, he caught his weight just before he crushed her, pulling out carefully to roll to one side. An arrogant, sated smile settled on his face.

Naked bodies riddled with scratches and bite marks, they both stared at the ceiling trying to get their breathing back to normal. Sweat began to cool on her skin and slowly it began to sink in what she’d just done.

Rey was disgusted with herself. Coming to him in the middle of the night to scratch an itch, disregarding who he was and what he’d done. She told herself that it would solve her fascination but now she knew how it felt, like the first hit of a drug, and against her better judgment, she wanted more.

Of course, it was just her luck the cocky bastard had the skills in bed to back up his mouth.

Taking a shaky breath, she pushed herself from the bed, gathering her clothes as quickly as she could.

“Going so soon?” John asked, sitting up to watch her.

“This was a mistake!” She announced, “This was a huge mistake!”

John leaned back against the headboard, raising his arms behind his head smugly.

“Huge, huh? Why thank you.”

“Stop that!” Rey hissed, “You know what I mean.”

John suddenly hopped off the bed, grabbing his own jeans.

“You felt something. Don’t deny it!” He exclaimed, approaching her with beseeching eyes.

“I...I didn’t. The only thing I felt was lust and now I know this was stupid and I need to go.” She insisted, pulling on her shirt.

John smiled, rounding on her like a predator.

“Go if you like. We both know that I’ve had you. What’s more, we both know you’ll be back. You get to look all your little resistance friends in the eye knowing that I’ve made you scream my name,” 

Rey rolled her eyes but knew he was right. She had to leave quickly before his agile mind tore down any more of her defense.

“Goodbye, John.” 

She turned, resisting the urge to congratulate herself on a dignified exit. It wasn’t as if she felt she had any dignity left. John had a confident, knowing smile watching her leave his bedroom.

“What? Not even a kiss goodbye?” He called, “Where _are_ your manners?”

Rey ignored him, telling herself that was the last time she would give in to John Seed.


	13. Violet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Rey having to spend her day doing security and safety checks around the bunker, John is left to entertain their 3-year-old daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's canon - Set after the collapse. They've been in the bunker for 4 years and 9 months.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Cute, soft, fluffy. Potentially the softest John I've ever written

“Daddy?”

Once upon a time, there was only one woman in his life who called him ‘Daddy’ but that was three years ago. The meaning of the word had shifted dramatically in that time.

He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but he could feel the mattress bouncing as his three year old clambered onto the bed. From his place lying face down, he could feel her tiny hands balancing on his bare back.

“Daddy, wake up!” 

A few more minutes of serenity would have been perfect, if not for her fingers wrapping in his hair.

“Alright, Violet, I’m up. Dad is awake.” John yawned, cautiously rolling to his back while trying to not launch his child to the floor, “You should be in sleeping, angel.”

“Can’t sleep.” she announced, climbing onto his chest to play with his beard. 

He gently took hold of her hands to save his face from the sting. Glancing at the clock, he groaned. 5 am. Time was hard enough to keep track of living underground without a three-year-old deciding she had her own schedule. 

“And why is that?”

Violet cast her large blue eyes to the ceiling, tilting her head the same way he’d seen her mother do when she was concentrating. She looked back at him very seriously, a crease between her tiny brows.

“Not tired.”

“Very observant.” He smiled, gently stroking her long, dark hair, “You want to sleep in Mommy and Daddy’s bed?”

“Where is Mommy?” Violet pouted, crossing her arms. Holding his daughter still with one arm, John awkwardly sat up, leaning against the headboard and rubbing his tired eyes.

“Mommy is doing some security checks to keep everyone safe,” John explained patiently, “It’s one of her jobs here.”

Over halfway through their 7-year wait, housing so many people and preparing to face whatever was outside had begun to take up more of Rey’s time as head of their security.

“But why?”

“Because the outside could be dangerous just now and she needs to help keep everyone safe.”

“But why?”

“Because Mommy used to keep people safe before the collapse.”

“...why?”

“Violet!” John smiled through gritted teeth, “Why don’t you take Mommy’s space and we’ll get some more sleep, huh?”

Violet shook her head.

“No, Daddy! I want you to get up.” She grinned, trying to shake his shoulders. John took a deep breath, rubbing his face and trying to accept that there was no more sleep happening that morning.

“Alright, kiddo. You win.” he relented. 

“Yay!” Violet cheered loudly in a pitch that only a toddler could, climbing down from the bed. She ran into the other room on unsteady legs, John shuffling slowly behind her, shoving his hair out of his face.

He would definitely remember this morning the next time Rey told him she would be gone for over 12 hours.

“Whatever she’s doing better be worth it.” John muttered to himself, “Alright, angel, you’re with Daddy for the day. Why don’t we get dressed and I’ll take you to the dining room for breakfast. What do you say?”

“...Why?”

_ Jesus take the wheel… _

00000

In the 4 and a half years since the collapse, Violet hadn’t been the only baby born. Something Joseph considered miraculous considering the Project’s strict fornication rules, but once The Baptist had obviously broken them, others followed suit.

Daughter of John, niece of Joseph, Violet was as loved by the other residents as she was her parents. Balancing on her father’s shoulders, she giggled and swayed happily, waving to people as they passed. John caught the knowing smiles on his follower's faces, all aware that if he had his way, he would still be in bed.

Heading to his family table, John sat Violet down in her seat.

“Is Uncle Joseph coming?” she asked, slapping her hands on the table. 

“Not at this time.” John smirked, “Okay. Breakfast, what are we eating?”

“Can I have cake?”

“For breakfast? No.” John replied firmly, “You can have an actual breakfast food for breakfast.”

“Mommy let me have cake!” Violet whined, scowling up at him with an expression that he knew came from his DNA.

“I know that’s not true. Toast? How do we feel about toast?” he asked, realising he was bargaining with a three-year-old, “You know what, you’re getting toast.”

“I like toast.” Violet grinned. 

“Thank God,” John muttered, approaching the hatch to put in a food order while keeping an eye on his mischievous child the whole time.

Minutes later, a plate of toast with Jam was put in front of Violet, John opting for a cup of very strong, black coffee.

“What’s that?” Violet asked, scrunching her nose at the bitter smell.

“It’s coffee and believe me, it’s very necessary.” John explained, “Eat your breakfast, angel.” he smiled, pushing her soft hair over her ear.

Despite the early hour and his deep longing for some extra shut-eye, John could never stay mad at his daughter. He had once believed that convincing Joseph to make peace was the best thing he’d ever done in his life, but he was wrong. 

She had a nose and mouth like her mother, but her baby blue eyes were all from him. There must have been some good left in him somewhere to make something so pure and innocent. 

“Good morning, little lady.” Adelaide greeted, grinning down at Violet, “Isn’t it a little early for you to be awake?” She smirked at John, the confessor stifling a sigh.

“Morning Addy!” Violet waved, her hand sticky with jam and her mouth full.

“Have you been waking your Daddy up?” Adelaide asked, “Keeping him on his toes while your Mama is working?”

“It’s early for you too, isn’t it?” John asked politely, sipping his coffee. Adelaide grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“Oh, you know me. I was waking my  _ daddy _ up too. Needed a little energy boost.” she sniggered, John screwing his face up at the crude joke.

“Good God, Adelaide. I’ve not even had my coffee yet.” John grumbled, Violet looking between the two adults trying to understand the conversation. 

“Is it just you two the whole day?” Adelaide asked kindly. John nodded.

“Rey really wants to run those door tests so I said we’d have a little daddy daughter time.” he elaborated, “Didn’t expect it to start quite so early…”

“Well, if you need a break, don’t hesitate to give me a call. I raised a big ol’ dumb baby of my own. So in comparison, your little angel will be a delight!”

“Thank you, but I think I’m capable of spending the day with my daughter alone.” John replied haughtily, “We’ll be fine.”

“Alright.” Adelaide laughed, “But don’t say I didn’t offer! You two have a nice day.”

He waved the woman off, Violet still munching on her toast happily.

“We’ll be alright.” He said, “Right?”

“I dunno,” Violet shrugged, “I’m three.”

John finished his coffee.

00000

“The generators are all running fine in the lower levels but I still think we could…”

“Daddy?”

“Give them all a check just to be sure…”

“Daddy?”

“They’re years old now. We don’t want to fall at the final hurdle with only a few years left to…”

“ _ Daddy _ !?”

“What, Violet?” John asked patiently, looking down at his daughter who had wrapped herself around his leg. The man in front of him stood politely, waiting for John’s attention again.

“I’m bored!” she whined with a pout and large eyes. John felt a stab of guilt. He hadn’t meant for his errands to take up so much of his time, but it seemed like one thing after another with people asking him for his opinion and advice.

He bent down, scooping the little girl into his arms.

“I know, angel. I promise I’m almost done here.” He said, pressing a kiss to her head. He nodded to the man, dismissing him quickly.

“Why do you have to work?” she asked, tucking her head into the space between his neck and shoulder. 

“Because we live in a community,” he explained, “Everyone here has a job that keeps the bunker running. That man is an engineer, so he makes sure all the generators work which gives us power for things like lights…”

“What do you do?”

It was a loaded question from an innocent mind, but at least he didn’t have to explain the reality of what he used to do before Eden’s Gate and the Resistance had made peace.

“I suppose you could say I’m a...director,” He explained tactfully, “I make sure that everyone here is doing their job right, which keeps the bunker running smoothly. I’m also a big part of your Uncle's church.”

Violet nodded into his shoulder, yawning and rubbing her eyes with her small fist. John smiled. If he was lucky, she would be ready for a nap which would give him some blissful silence. 

_ Maybe I’ll have a nap too… _

But a quick detour to his office was the wrong choice. Violet’s eyes lit up when they entered the room, her gaze narrowing in on the model plane on his desk. 

“Can I play?!” She asked excitedly, reaching for the tiny aircraft. 

John winced. He didn’t want to say no, but of all the personal items he’d kept from his life above, the small model of Affirmation meant a lot to him. It reminded him of a past life, giving him hope that he’d eventually return to the skies.

Sitting down behind the desk, he balanced his daughter on his knee, reaching over to pick up the model.

“It’s not a toy so you need to be careful with it.” he warned, “Do you know what it is?”

Violet shook her head. Something hurt in his chest, squeezing her a little closer to him. Violet had been born underground. The only sky she had ever seen had come from pictures, her vitamin D from tablets and lamps. She didn’t know what it was like to look up and feel the sun on her skin or count the stars at night.

“Remember I told you about flying? This is a plane,” he explained, “We don’t have wings like birds, so this is how we can fly.”

She took the model from him, turning it in her little hands to examine every inch, her face a picture of pure concentration.

“This...is a model of Daddy’s plane. The real one was much bigger.” 

“Do you still have it?” She asked. 

“No, angel. I don’t think it’s around up there anymore.” John sighed, forcing a tight smile to hide his sadness, “But when we leave here we’ll get another one.”

“Can I fly?” she asked. John grinned, squeezing Violet tightly, the hair of his beard making her giggle as he kissed her cheek.

“I promise, one day, I will take you flying,” he vowed, “I’ll teach you all about the sky.”

“Can Mommy come too?” 

“Uh, your Mom doesn’t really like to fly with me.” He smiled, choosing to omit that even when they were married, Rey had never really forgotten that time he’d tried to shoot down Nick’s plane with her inside it. Violet didn’t need to know that.

“I wish I could fly now.” Violet pouted, watching the plane pretending to fly around in her father’s hands, “I want to see the sky.”

“I know, kiddo.” John sighed, putting the model back on his desk, “Only a few more years to go.”

_ As if a toddler has any concept of time… _

She gazed up at him with the face he’d wanted to avoid. Large, watery blue eyes that could bleed a stone. Tantrums were easier than outright sadness. John kissed her forehead, at a loss of what to say to make it better. His eyes caught the model of Affirmation again, the wheels in his head turning. Flying had always made him feel better, made him feel free.

He couldn’t take his daughter flying in the traditional way, but he could give her the tiniest of ideas.

“Violet, want to play?”

00000

His arms, his shoulders, every muscle in his upper body burned but it was worth it to hear Violet’s excited screams and laughter.

His boots thundered on the metal floors as they ran, his daughter balanced precariously on his shoulders with her arms outstretched. The exaggerated plane noises he was making only made her laugh louder, squealing for him to run faster. 

In his head they were flying. She was seeing the world from up high where nobody could touch them. He described every twist and turn, every sight, adding to the experience with his own sound effects that made her cheer as they ran around the circular shape of the bunkers halls. He ducked and swerved confused people, his grip on her legs as tight as he could so she didn’t fall.

The noise they were making drew plenty of attention, the other residents turning to see their Baptist running through the halls like a madman. They were met with everything from indulgent smiles and chuckles to confused blinks. 

Over the years since peace had been made, John’s reputation had shifted dramatically. Once despised by most and feared by even more, they had begun to see a softer, reformed side. If the deputy could forgive him, love him, most people concluded that he must have been worth saving. 

If Rey was his salvation, Violet was his redemption.

“What the fuck is John doing?” Sharky had asked Adelaide, the man screeching past them.

“He’s obviously being a plane. Duh.”

John didn’t care. His daughter was happy, and that was what mattered. Steadily, as they headed back towards their rooms, John began to slow down.

“Run faster, Daddy!”

“Daddy’s having a heart attack.” he panted, “Give me a minute...God, I’m not as fit as I used to be.”

Staggering into their room, John lay back on the old sofa. His breathlessness wasn’t helped by Violet climbing on top of him. She half yawned, rubbing her eyes and giggling. John could already feel his lids growing heavy. Violet slumped against his chest, her head tucking into his neck.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, angel?”

“I love you more than flying.”

Her voice was so muffled by his neck and her fatigue that he almost missed what she’d said, but that single sentence made everything worth it. He was exhausted from his early morning, the constant supervision, the ‘why’ and the marathon he’d run around their underground home.

He’d have done it all again in an instant just to see her smile.

“I love you more than flying too.”

Her soft snores in his ear, John drifted off to sleep.

00000

Hours later, sneaking quietly into their rooms, Rey smiled at the precious sight that met her.

John was passed out, their daughter asleep on his chest. The pair were snoring, John’s mouth hanging slightly open, his hair flopped over his face. Rey quietly tiptoed around them, grabbing a nearby blanket. Carefully, she lay it over the pair, the movement making John stir.

“Shh. Go back to sleep.” Rey smiled, smoothing his hair. John smiled up at her.

“Our daughter is going to be a pilot someday.”


	14. Insecure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey had always considered herself a confident person, but overhearing some opinionated gossip at Joseph's compound makes her rethink her relationship with John. 
> 
> John's got a pretty compelling counter-argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during peace talks between Hope County and Eden's gate.

“I don’t even get what he sees in that sinner deputy. She’s nothing special!”

It’s not like Rey had meant to eavesdrop, but it was hard not to stop when the voices were so obviously talking about her.

Even though the Project and the Resistance were in the middle of a ceasefire and peace talks were almost at an end, Rey hadn’t felt entirely keen about coming back to Joseph’s compound. As a show of good faith, they had. Mostly everyone had been welcoming, taking their lead from the Father and his family, but there was still an eerie underlying tension that she assumed wouldn’t dissipate for some time. Rey had only stepped out of the church for some air when she heard them.

Hugging the wall, she peeked around the corner for only a second. Enough time to spy two women, peggies, having a conversation.

“I’m telling you, it’s John! Once he’s got what he wants from her, he’s going to come to his senses and leave.” 

Rey twisted the wedding band on her finger. While some people close to them knew, it wasn’t common knowledge that Joseph had married them. She felt torn between shoving her ring wearing fist down the obnoxious woman’s throat and something entirely less bold. 

An uncomfortable feeling twisted in her stomach, her hand holding her gut. She knew she should walk away but she felt rooted to the ground, desperate to know if the little bitch had more to say.

“How do you know they’re even together?” The other woman asked.

“After that fire at the Lumbermill, the deputy got taken straight to John’s ranch. Word is, he was giving it all that wounded knee bullshit but I don’t buy it.” The spiteful girl scoffed, “Remember Holly? It’s the same thing. He’s just playing that deputy. Besides, she’s not good enough for someone like him and sooner or later he’ll see that. This whole ‘peace’ nonsense won’t last. We’re going to show these sinners salvation!”

“Careful, those are some strong words, sister. We have to follow the will of the Father!”

“And I mean every one of them,” the woman smirked, “Besides, I hear that John can help you see God. I’ll happily let our Baptist speak in tongues for me!”

The two women fell apart giggling but Rey had heard enough. She wanted to show herself, let them know they’d been caught. Maybe even throw a snappy line about the cults fornication rules but she felt stuck. Her head was pounding, the permanent frown settling between her brows not helping matters. 

After everything they had been through. The fighting, the confusion and conflict, the confession of feelings, late night talks. Hell,  _ he _ was the one who convinced Joseph to make peace. They were married. It all had to count for something? 

But like a spark catching kindling, slowly her insecurities began to take hold. What if they were right? What if he’d eventually grow tired of her? She didn’t really believe in Eden’s Gate, she’d openly told him that she respected his right to follow Joseph but she never would. Not in that way. What if the differences in their beliefs were enough to break them?

Or maybe she wasn’t pretty enough? Living where she did and doing her job, wearing make-up past the occasional swipe of lip balm and sunscreen seemed pointless. What if he actually craved someone more glamorous, someone that matched his expensive tastes.

Rey tipped her head back, sucking in a sharp breath and blinking rapidly. She had to pull herself together. It would do no good for anyone to see her crying and she wasn’t in the mood to answer questions.

The sound of the church doors opening made her jump, The Seeds and her colleagues walking out into the open. John stopped, looking her up and down.

“Alright?” he asked, maintaining a casual distance. Earl, Staci and Joey knew, as did his family, but they had agreed they weren’t ready to confirm the gossip quite yet. Not until peace was formally locked down.

“Yeah, fine.” Rey nodded, the smile on her face forced and fake, “Just fine.”

John’s eyes narrowed slightly. Something was off, he just couldn’t figure out what it was. She’d only left the building five minutes before them, so what had changed?

“I think we’ve made good progress today.” Earl confirmed, “We’ll head back and spread the word with some of the others. Let the people know where we stand and we’ll return tomorrow.”

Earl and Joseph shook hands, the Sheriff and his deputies heading towards their chopper. Rey still felt despondent but she forced a good-natured smile anyway. 

“I’ll see you later?” John asked quietly, his face hopeful. Rey nodded.

“Yeah, of course,” she confirmed. 

He looked relieved. That was a good sign, right?

Following Joey into the chopper, the other woman rolled her eyes, smirking.

“You guys are so gross.”

“Shut up, Joey.”

00000

In the correct conditions and left unchecked, fire can easily spread. 

Insecurity, Rey discovered, is much the same. Left alone with nothing to do but patrol, she went over the words in her head again and again. Without reassurance, it made her second guess everything, every action, every moment until she had a pounding headache, her stomach in knots.

Worse still, she felt like she couldn’t tell him because what if it was all true? Perhaps ignorance really was bliss. Things were finally going well for them. Husband or not, she didn’t want to rock the boat and bother him with her stupid issues.

The ranch was peaceful, the outside lamps casting a pleasant glow over the area. Her senses were assaulted with comforting scents, the wood of the open fire cracking in the middle of the sitting room, Italian food coming from the kitchen. She let her feet take her towards the smell, following her nose until she found John standing there.

Realising she was there, he smiled at her warmly, stepping out from around the kitchen island to take her face in his hands, kissing her hello. She relaxed against him, but the anxiety sat like a knot in her gut.

“How was the rest of your day?” He asked, his forehead resting on hers in his familiar, comforting way.

It couldn’t all be an act, it wasn’t possible. It was too intimate but still, her thoughts felt tainted and dark. Awkwardly she twisted away from him, avoiding his eyes.

“It was fine.” She muttered, “Just fine. Nothing exciting.”

“Are you alright?” John asked, analyzing her closely when she replied.

“Yeah, I’m great!” She insisted a little too enthusiastically, “I’m going to go and change out of these clothes.”

He watched her leave with a concerned frown pinching his brows. Something was definitely wrong. He’d known her long enough to tell when she was hiding how she felt. He only wished he knew exactly what happened to flip her mood so dramatically.

Reaching their bedroom, Rey dumped her belt and guns on the dresser, launching her green shirt across the room with an exasperated growl. She was better than this. A lousy comment from a bitchy stranger and suddenly she was all about self-doubt and sabotage? 

Well great, now she could add anger to the mix of irrational emotions that churned through her body like oil trying to blend with water. She felt unbalanced, out of control. Torn between smashing something and curling into a ball in the dark.

Kicking off her jeans, she caught sight of herself in the full-length mirror, her body only covered by her black sports bra and panties. She stopped, looking at her image up and down to inspect every inch of herself with scrutiny she’d seldom used before. 

Her long legs were marred by the occasional bruise, from vibrant blue to murky yellow. A large scar sat on her knee where she had been chased down a mountain by a landslide, courtesy of Sharky Boshaw.

As her gaze travelled upwards she began to pick out other marks. Various scratches and cuts that had healed into faint, white lines. Stepping closer, she took a good look at her face. A dusting of freckles scattered over the bridge of her nose, the bump where she had it broken in the Academy still there. A tiny scar sat under her right eyebrow from a messy stitch job after one of the many altercations with Eden’s Gate.

Had she put on weight? Stress and constantly running for her life had been harsh on her health but now she was really looking at herself for the first time. There was a soft swell to her hips, her behind and thighs a little rounder, but of course, her breasts remained modest. 

“Typical,” she grumbled to herself. The abs she used to sport had been lost to a comfortable life. 

“What are you doing?”

Heat rose up her neck when she heard John’s voice, realising that she had very much been caught in her inspection. Quickly as she could, trying to hide how flustered she was, she turned away from the mirror.

“Uh, nothing!” She lied, “Just trying to find something to wear.

  
“Uh-huh.” John dismissed, walking into the room, “Rey, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting distracted and just not yourself since the compound. Tell me what’s happened?”

Rey sighed, shoving her long hair out of her face and coming to sit on the end of the bed. She hated the look he gave her, those big, blue eyes that pulled the truth from her eventually. He sunk down onto his heels in front of her, patiently waiting for her response.

“You’re going to think it’s stupid.” She huffed.

“Probably,” John grinned, “But tell me anyway.”

Suddenly very interested in her cuticle situation, Rey began to play with her fingers awkwardly. Anything to avoid the penetrating look he was giving her, but it was pointless. He had already seen and deciphered her body language. There was no hiding from the confessor now.

“I’m your husband.” He added gently, “You can tell me anything.”

Rey took a deep, steadying breath before she spoke again, anxiety still twisting at her organs.

“Do you like how I look?” she blurted out.

John blinked up at her, his brows almost hitting his hairline before he composed himself. Of all the things he’d expected, not that he knew what to expect, that wasn’t it. Tilting his head curiously, he smiled.

“Is that a trick question?” he asked, “Yes, I  _ love _ how you look. Why are you asking?”

“I don’t know, I guess I was just having some thoughts,” she mumbled bashfully. 

John stood, his face still concerned. “I mean, I’m sorry I made you feel like you even had to ask. I thought it was painfully obvious how I feel about you.”

“If I remember correctly, you were never shy on that radio.” She weakly smiled, “How many times did you threaten to kill me?”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” He warned gently, “I think you’re beautiful.”

“Really?” She hated how small her voice sounded, how unsure.

It made John paused, a flash of irritation in his eyes. This wasn’t his deputy. This wasn’t the fierce woman who had boldly looked his brother in the eye while slapping handcuffs on him or the hellcat who would laugh as she dragged him by the collar of his coat into abandoned buildings for stolen moments away from prying eyes.

He held out his hand, pulling her to her feet and directing her in front of the offending mirror. He kept an arm firmly around her waist, his head resting on her shoulder.

“What do you see?” he asked.

“I see...myself.” she shrugged, unsure where he was taking his questions, “I see bruises and scars and-”

_ She’s nothing special! _

“-nothing special.” she finished, her voice flat. John dipped his head, his lips finding her earlobe.

“Want to know what I see?” he whispered, “I see lips that give me a smile more beautiful than the county sunrise, that kiss me every morning. I see gorgeous eyes that change like the seasons.”

His voice in her ear was like a soothing balm, the feeling of his hands skimming her bare skin melting away the nagging voices in the back of her head. A jolt ran through her feeling his teeth skim her ear, tension coiling in her gut. His mouth trailed kissed across her jaw and neck, a whimper rising when stopped to swirl his tongue over her pulse.

“Now these would be my second favourite part of your body,” he purred. 

So lost in the sensations he was causing, Rey barely noticed her bra being pulled up and over her head. “Your breasts are so perfect. So responsive for me.” His rumbling voice only grew deeper, a hand coming to cover her breast, fingers rolling a nipple that pebbled to his touch.

“John…” She moaned breathlessly, yelping as he suddenly swept her from her feet to deposit her on the bed. His hair flopped forward as he dipped his head, capturing her lips before trailing down her body. 

She giggled, her smile genuine as his beard tickled her stomach. Her anxiety, her uncertainty forgotten under his touch. Every kiss, every brush of his fingers building the fire that he’d lit, the heat burning the last of her insecurities away.

John all but purred reaching the hem of her panties, his finger tracing her folds above the damp fabric, nudging her legs apart. 

“I think it’s fair to say  _ this _ is my favourite part of your body.” He growled playfully, his eyes darkening as he took her all in. She gasped feeling him nuzzle at her mound, his teeth grasping the fabric to pull them away. Completely bare to him, John grinned wolfishly.

“There you are,” he said, eliciting a strangled gasp from her as he lightly blew over her, the sudden cooling sensation tingling to her tailbone, “You are absolutely perfect to me, in every way.”

Her whole body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending screaming for him to escalate, fighting the urge to grab handfuls of his hair and put those pretty, teasing lips to work. He was staring at her like the holy grail, like she was a target in his crosshairs.

“Still don’t believe me?” he teased. “I’m afraid I’ll just have to convince you then.”

The flick of his tongue against the oversensitive bundle of nerves made her arch from the bed with a throaty moan. He knew her body so well, the constant changing of patterns making her eyes roll back. The things her husband could do with his tongue bordered on blasphemous, John relishing every little noise he drew from her.

“Oh fuck...oh fuck, John!” she was panting, her breathing coming in small, shallow gasps as he explored every fold.

“You taste so good, darling.” He crooned, smiling smugly when she clenched around his fingers, curving upwards to find the particular spot he knew would make her see stars.

Her eyes fluttered as he continued his relentless attack on her senses, a hand grabbing hold of his hair and another fisting in the sheets. Ever so gently, with just enough pressure, his teeth scraped over her clit, his finger twitching enough to tip her over the edge. She keened loudly, his arm around her thigh holding her to him. Masterfully, he moved away from the overworked nerves, circling around and drawing out her orgasm for as long as she could take. 

Her whole body had been reduced to a quivering wreck and she adored him for it.

Satisfied, he sat up, wiping his face and crawling up the bed where she lay still trying to catch her breath. A lazy smile appeared on her face as he kissed her, her essence still tinged on his tongue.

“Now do you believe me?” He asked, clearly proud of himself, nuzzling against her hand when she pushed his hair from his eyes.

“You do make a very compelling case!” Sweat beginning to cool on her naked skin, Rey grabbed the fur-lined comforter, pulling it overself and savouring the softness. 

John kicked off his boots, joining her under the large square of fabric. She felt light again, the weight lifted from her mind. A contented sigh left her, snuggling into the mattress. John lay facing her, his fingers absently tracing her bare arm, his nose almost touching hers. 

“So, would you  _ now _ like to tell me what happened today?” he asked carefully, “I’ve seen you in a lot of moods but a crisis of confidence isn’t one of them.”

“Promise not to get mad?” 

“No.”

“John…”

“Alright, I promise I will...restrain all feelings of vexation.” he huffed, “Just, please, tell me.”

“When I was at the compound and I stepped outside, I overheard some people talking about me...and you.” she explained tentatively, her nose scrunched as she awkwardly recalled the day, “They were saying things like I didn’t deserve you, I wasn’t anything special and that you…”

“...Yes?” he pressed, tension trembling in his voice.

“That you were going to eventually realise all that and leave.”

If there was something she’d learned about John over the years, it was that when he was mouthing off he was all bark and very little bite. But when he was quiet? That meant he was thinking, using all his energy on his thoughts and that was when John Seed became dangerous.

His face was passive except for the minute tick below his left eye. A telltale sign that he was ready to blow.

“I see.”

“John, you promised you wouldn’t get mad.” Rey warned gently, “It’s fine. I’m fine. I know it was just stupid gossip. It doesn’t matter.”

“Mad? I’m not mad!” He answered, his voice tight. “Can you tell me who it was?”

She didn’t believe him for a moment. “I couldn’t pick them out of a lineup, honestly.” Rey shrugged, shuffling closer to him, “It’s fine.”

“It’s not.” He snorted indignantly, sitting up, “You believed them.”

Rey followed, gathering the comforter up over her chest. “I didn’t-”

“You did.” John corrected gently, “Part of you did, at least.” He stood from the bed, pacing in front of her slowly.

“I- Maybe I did, but- John, don’t be mad at me.” 

“I’m not mad  _ at you _ . You don’t get it do you?” He smiled, stopping in front of her, “You really don’t get just how much power you’ve got?”

“I don’t understand.” 

John crawled back onto the bed, coming to his knees in front of her.

“You are  _ everything _ . You have literally changed everything, not just in my life but my family's life...and it’s a good thing. Do you think I’d have done that for just anyone?” He reasoned, “You’re my wife. That means everything.”

  
“What about the collapse? You know I don’t believe-”

“I don’t care.” He stated plainly, gently grasping her face in his hands “It’s something we can live with. All I want is you...just as you are. Nothing else matters, understand?”

She nodded, smiling into the kiss she accepted. The last of her worries disappeared with his words, the knot in her stomach finally easing and she felt like she could breathe clearly for the first time in hours.

00000 

“Oh good lord. Rey is that a hickey on your neck?!”

Rey shook her loose hair around her neck to cover the offending mark, Joey still scrunching her nose in disgust. After her initial confession, John had wanted to make sure his message had  _ thoroughly _ sunk in. Her skin flushed, heat rising in her cheeks as she smirked at the other deputy. Joey didn’t need to know there were similar marks dotted near her hips.

“Honestly, for a couple wanting to keep things quiet, it’s like you’re not even trying.” Joey chuckled, “Worst kept secret in the damn county.”

“Hmm. You’re not the first to say that.” It was a good thing the people in the chopper already knew about her marriage, the volume they were having to speak. If Staci and Earl heard the comment about her hickey, they politely chose to ignore it.

The chopper began to descend into the Eden’s Gate compound. Small dots on the ground becoming people as they came into view, clearing the way for them to land. In front of the church, she could just make out the Seed family by the front door.

“Can you believe we’ve actually made peace?” Joey asked, “After everything?”

“I wanted to believe that we could. I just didn’t think it would happen. I’m not sure what was on the cards.” Rey admitted, “Guess everything happens for a reason.”

“Don’t start getting philosophical on me now.” Joey sniggered. 

The chopper landed smoothly, dirt and debris blown around from the propellers coming to an eventual stop. Stepping out of the aircraft, Rey glanced around her. Most of the peggies had gone back to their duties, a few hanging back with polite smiles but a woman caught her eye. 

Standing only a few feet away was the same woman who had torn her down the day before, surrounded by two of her peggie friends, talking quietly amongst themselves but all with eyes on her. Rey took a deep breath, boldly making eye contact as John approached her.

“Deputy, how was you morn- Umph!”

A chorus of gasps and astonished murmurs reached them, her hands still tightly around the lapels of his coat. Her lips colliding with his took him by surprise for only a moment, relaxing into her kiss and wrapping his arms around her waist. The need for oxygen stinging her lungs, she grinned up at him, his forehead coming to rest on hers.

“So, we’re just...kissing in public now?” he teased. 

“Worst kept secret in the county!” She reminded him. A throat clearing nearby reminded the pair that they were here for a reason.

“Um, are you two done?” Jacob sniggered, “Kinda wanted to get back to Whitetail by the afternoon and I can’t do that if you two are you here making moon eyes at each other.”

Still leaning into John’s side, Rey nodded, casting a smug glance at the thunderstruck woman nearby.

“Of course. Sorry, Jake. Just making a point.” She announced loudly, knowing full well her voice would carry. The women all gaped at her in shock, mouths hanging like astonished fish, shrinking back when John cast them a cold glare.

Walking into the church together behind the others, John chuckled under his breath. “I’ll need to work out what sin that falls under, angel. I’ve got a feeling you’re going to be doing some confessing tonight.”

“Hmm. Is that a promise,  _ Baptist _ ?” 

John pulled her close into his side, whispering in her ear. “I’ll have you saying ‘yes’ all night, darling. Just you wait.”

Her stomach fluttering, Rey smiled.

_ Fuck those bitches. _


	15. Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It cost a fortune and looks really cool but for the life of him, John can't work out why Rey doesn't love his 'YES' sign...
> 
> John gets creative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's canon - Set during the conflict, just after Rey and John have confirmed their relationship to each other.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Outdoor smut, weird obsessions with structures, dirty talk. 
> 
> This particular chapter is a gift to V3ryVelvet because it was her silly idea and I love her, and it.

“Come on, look at the size of it!”

“It’s not  _ that  _ big, John.”

“Are you kidding me, it’s huge. I bet you’ve never seen one this big.”

“Size isn’t everything.”

“You weren’t saying that last night!”

“It’s a sign, John. What’s the big deal?” Rey asked, dropping the binoculars from her eyes, “I’ve seen the thing before. It’s hard to miss!”

John looked at her incredulously, gesturing madly to the huge ‘YES’ sign that sat overlooking Holland Valley.

“The big deal is that it’s very impressive, I built it with my bare hands and it’s a shining beacon of positivity to the area!” He recited proudly.

Rey looked thoroughly unimpressed. “ _ Your _ bare hands? Really?”

“Alright technically not mine, but my point stands!” He shrugged, pouting and crossing his arms.

This side of John was still something Rey was getting used to. Only weeks prior she’d come to him to agree that she wanted to be together as an actual couple, albeit a secret. Their relationship was in its infancy, fresh and with all the pitfalls that came with getting to know someone on a deeper level. 

“It’s just a sign. A fifty-foot structure painted white.” She stated, “You’ve got a smaller version on the side of your airstrip.”

“Not the point,” John grumbled. 

Taking pity on him, Rey giggled, snaking her arms around his neck. He was still pouting like a disgruntled child.

“Come on, why don’t we head inside and you can show me something else  _ big and impressive _ , hm?” She teased, kissing him playfully. 

Finally smiling, growling under his breath, Rey yelped as she found herself unceremoniously thrown over his shoulder. 

Still laughing, she was carried into the bedroom and hoped that was the last time she heard about that damn sign.

00000

“You have got to be fucking with me…”

When they’d woken that morning and John had announced he had a surprise for her, this wasn’t what she had in mind.

Taking  _ Affirmation _ out in the morning sun was an idea she’d been enthusiastic about. Getting to know him, she knew he was happiest flying and she loved watching him revert to childlike glee. However, had she known he’d planned to land on the side of the highest hill in the valley in front of the previous night's hot topic, she’d have firmly declined.

Standing almost directly under the giant letters, John grinned proudly, his arms outstretched as if he was presenting a magic trick.

“Well? How about now?”

“What do you mean? What about...what?” Rey asked, squinting up at the structure, “It’s a giant sign...that says ‘yes’...I’m not sure what else you want from me!”

John dropped his arms, huffing with frustration.

“I just want you to admit that it’s a good sign!” He stressed, “Come on...it was expensive.”

Rey snorted, wrapping her arms around his slim waist below his coat. The fragrance of the grass on the breeze mingled with his cologne made her smile, the morning sun already warming the hill. If she turned her back, she could look out over the whole valley and its breathtaking scenery. A much prettier sight than fifty foot of painted wood. 

“John, you know how I feel about the project,” she warned softly, “It’s...not my thing.” 

It seemed like the most diplomatic way of putting things.

He unexpectedly dipped his head, capturing her lips sweetly as she clung onto him. Grass still rustling below their boots, he danced her backwards until the metal support of the giant ‘E’ stopped them.

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?” he growled in her ear, a hand pulling at her belt buckle.

“John, we’re outside.” The protest wasn’t exactly strong. Her words may have suggested she objected but she was doing nothing to stop his wandering hands, smiling her encouragement against his lips. Freeing the button of her jeans, he untucked her shirts, giving him free access.

“Nobody comes up here.” he scoffed, teeth scraping at her neck, “Besides, I’m going to give you a fucking reason to like this sign.”

“You’re ridicul- Oh fuck!” she groaned, her head tipping back against the metal as he circled her clit with the flat of his fingers, working slowly to wake up her nerve endings one by one.

The weight of him pushed her against the metal, holding her in place while his fingers continued to drive her higher, tension building in every muscle as she clenched around nothing, growing desperate for more.

“I’m going to make sure that every time you look at this sign, you’re going to think of me.” he purred, his breath hot on her skin as he nipped at her earlobe, “You’re going to remember how it felt to have my hands making you beg.”

His voice in her ear sent shivers down her spine, shocking to her core. He began to pick up his pace, the moan he drew from her embarrassingly loud but it was impossible to remind herself exactly where they were when he was treating her like that. 

“Oh my God...I’m going to..to-” 

“Shh. Show, don’t tell,” he smirked, his own hips grinding against her in his own desperation for friction, a very clear bulge in his jeans. He was pushing her closer, the muscles in her thighs beginning to tremble with the tension, his consistent pattern and motion making her cry out for more. Her hips matched his pace, chasing her release...

Until he removed his hand.

“Wha...John!” she whined, pleasure ebbing away and replaced with an acute, dull ache that demanded satisfaction. 

John smiled wickedly, adept fingers releasing his own belt and wriggling his jeans to his knees. She felt herself turned, braced against the metal as her own jeans were removed. Bent over just enough for him to sink his cock into her slick cunt.

Fingers wrapped around her throat, pulling her up to meet him.

“Most of all, you’re going to remember how it felt to have my cock stuffed in that perfect pussy of yours.” he growled, “I’m going to make sure you remember that you’re mine!”

Her cheek pushed against the cool of the metal, she cried out as he gripped her hips tightly, slamming into her over and over, his coat fluttering with the movement. She wasn’t going to last long, not with the way he had already lit her nerves on fire. Her skin prickled, the rapture he’d torn from her building again twice as quickly as before. She pulsed around him in waves, the damp sound of skin meeting skin carrying on the breeze.

“You take me so well, angel.” he groaned, his fingers digging into her skin as he delighted in the sounds she made for him, “Let me feel you cum for me!”

His final touch, a haphazard pattern against her clit finished her, causing her to cry out with abandon as she shook around him. An arm around her waist and the stupid, God damn sign may have been the only things keeping her quivering body upright. 

His hips stuttered, a final powerful thrust and an indulgent moan as he followed, his cock twitching. They remained still for a moment, composing themselves before he pulled away in a gush of warmth. 

Rey shivered with the breeze, fixing her own clothes and wincing at the damp sensation that reminded her the drawbacks of outdoor sex. John had sorted his own situation, swiftly throwing his coat over her shoulders like the gentleman he could sometimes be.

A dozy smile on both their faces, he kissed her soundly.

“Well, how about now?” He asked smugly. Rey rolled her eyes.

“It’s a very nice sign, John.”

00000

“So what did you do with your days off?” Joey asked, her and Rey leaving the diner with a cup of coffee each, “I still think it’s weird that this region is cooling down. Can’t help but wonder what John Seed is thinking.”

Rey sipped her coffee, pointedly ignoring the comment about John. “Nothing really. Did some hiking,” she replied flippantly. 

It wasn’t a complete lie. Joey stopped short, her lip curling as she gazed ahead of her. 

“Urgh. Would you look at that fucking thing?” Joey grumbled. 

Rey followed her gaze. Ahead of them, miles away standing high on the hills above the valley stood the giant ‘YES’ sign in all its obnoxious glory. Another sip of coffee was necessary to hide the smile that played on her lips.

“Honestly, what’s the big deal about the fucking sign?” Joey continued, “The power of yes...what does that even mean anyway?”

Her teeth clamped down on the inside of her cheek, her stomach fluttering. 

“I dunno, I kinda get it.”

_ That bastard… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...turns out I have more time at home to write at the moment ¬_¬


	16. Breed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a year in the bunker and if only the residents of John's Gate could work out why Rey and John have begun playing hide and seek every other day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's canon: Set during their 6 years in the bunker. They've been in about a year by this point.
> 
> Chapter warnings: NSFW, Breeding kink, Daddy kink, dirty talk. Poor Joseph just wants some peace.

“Uh, what’s John doing?” 

Even running things in the bunker, it was unusual to see John so low down. On the lowest levels, things like generators and indoor crops could be found, along with major storage. Simply put, John had enough trust in the people he had assigned to manage those areas that he didn’t need to be there.

The two men watched the Baptist as he wandered into the area. Large generators growled, turbines spinning filling the whole space with warm, clammy air. John stopped a few steps in, his eyes scanning the area intently, his lips pursing in thought.

The second peggie rolled his eyes.

“Ah jeez, not this again…”

“What? What is it?” The first asked curiously, both turning away from the monitor they’d been watching. 

“Hide and seek.” He answered, rolling his eyes. The other frowned, clearly confused.

“Hide and seek? You’re telling me that John is playing hide and seek?!”

He nodded. “Yeah, man! I know it sounds crazy, but last week Rey ran past here. We tried to ask if she was alright but she told us to keep quiet. About 10 minutes later, John comes storming in all focused. Obviously we were worried but turns out those two were just playing some game!”

After two laps of the room, checking between the structures, John snorted, turning in his heel and leaving.

“No way!” The first man laughed incredulously, “Why the hell would they do that?” 

The second man shrugged. “Beats me, but it’s only been a year down here and if they start losing it now...we’re in trouble!”

The second man shook his head. “Have faith, brother. It’s John. I’m sure there’s a good reason!”

00000

She wasn’t down near the renewable resources or in the long term stock rooms. There was no way she’d have hidden near any communal areas, not when she knew she was being hunted.

They’d been at their little game for at least an hour, John growing more frustrated by the minute. All of her usual hiding places had been exhausted, every one of them empty.

It was a shame really, the last place he’d caught her had been a particular favourite.

Grumbling under his breath, John walked through their shared living space to another heavy door on the back wall. His own personal storeroom. 

It was the only place he could think of that hadn’t been checked, and one of the few areas in the bunker that didn’t have a camera. 

Grabbing the wheel, he turned it and pulled the door open. The room wasn’t as large as the other stores, but piles of crates stood high, cutting off parts of the room from his sight. She might have been hidden, but there was no place for her to run.

“I know you’re in here, darling.” He said, his smooth voice echoing on the metal walls, “If you give yourself up, I promise I’ll go easy on you.”

He took another step, the light from behind him casting his shadow into the room. His smile grew catching a second shadow on the wall, a leg quickly sliding out of view.

“So stubborn. You know they say that pride comes before a fall.” He continued, casually walking through the rows of boxes.

“You know I’m going to find you...and you  _ know _ what happens when I do,” he purred, “You need a reminder of who you belong to.”

He was almost at the end of the room, the second shadow on the wall trying to force themselves against the back wall. He rounded the corner.

“Shit.”

“Hello, Angel.” He smiled wickedly, closing the gap between them. He used his body to trap her in the corner, his hand grasping her neck delicately.

“Over an hour. You’re getting better,” he growled, a hand still on her throat as he tugged at her jersey shorts, “but I’ll always catch you eventually.”

“Are you going to take it easy on me,  _ daddy _ ?” She asked huskily, glaring at him through her dark lashes. He snarled, leaning towards her face, his fingers around her neck tightening.

“Oh no,” he chuckled darkly, shaking his head. His knee forced between her knees, spreading her legs, giving him access, “I’m going to mark you, breed you and everyone is going to know who you belong to.”

“Fuck...fuck.” She breathed, his fingers circling her already soaked clit. 

“Hmm. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you liked leading me on a merry little chase?” He teased, “Is that it? You like driving me crazy?”

“No- no, daddy.” She groaned, her hips grinding against his hand.

“Ah, see I think you do.” He continued. She whined when he pulled his hand away to release his own belt, “Don’t worry, Angel. I’ll give you what you want so soon.”

She gasped as he grabbed her leg, hitching it up over his hip. The feel of his fat head brushing against her folds was almost enough to make him lose control, a sudden need for release taking him, but that wasn’t their game. 

Teasing her with shallow thrusts, only just entering and no more, his hand remained around her throat.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want?” He promoted sweetly, “Use your words like a good girl.”

“You...I want you!” She painted, his fingers squeezing slightly making her squirm.

“I know it’s more than that. You want me to fuck you until you can’t stand,” 

Holding her leg tightly, he put her out of her misery, pushing into her to the hilt. She moaned loudly as he rolled his hips, fucking up into her roughly. 

He leaned towards her ear, thrusting them against the wall. “I’m going to fuck a baby in you, Angel. I’m going to cum so deep in your pussy that you feel it running down your thigh...and when you start to grow, everyone is going to know that I’ve had you.”

“Please, daddy...yes, give it to me!” She begged, helpless against the cool of the wall, her fingers gripping his shoulders desperately.

“You’re going to look so beautiful, round and glowing.” He praised, his blue eyes stormy, almost manic as he pistoned his hips. 

Hair fell in front of his face, only adding to his carnal look. “But you have to cum for me first. Are you going to cum for me? Go on, touch yourself.”

Her hand trembled, knuckles aching from finally releasing her grip on his arm. She did as she was told, rubbing uncoordinated patterns until she could barely see straight. 

“That’s it. Rub that pussy for daddy.” he snarled, “Cum for me and I’ll give you everything.”

A few more rough strokes combined with his sinful voice and she was there, her whole body shaking as she came in waves, screaming his name until she could barely form words. Her body was spent, holding onto him for dear life until he spilled into her, moaning indulgently.

Catching their breath, they both laughed lazily, Rey wincing as he released her leg back to the ground. She pushed his hair out of his face, his eyes sated and dozy.

“You good?” he asked, peppering her lips with small kisses. She rolled her neck, stretching her shoulders.

“Never better,” she smiled, “At least we don’t have far to go to clean up this time!”

“Hiding closer to home. Sneaky move,” he winked, helping her pull her shorts back on, “Do you think it worked this time?”

“I hope so. Won’t be able to take a test for a few more weeks.” she shrugged, “Plenty of time to play a few more rounds.”

She brushed past him, John noticing her shaking legs with an arrogant smile. He followed her from their store, closing the door behind him.

“Better find some more hiding places then.”

00000

Joseph Seed rarely left his private living space.

It hadn’t been the plan for him to end up in John’s bunker. He’d had his own private space prepared but when the bombs began to fall there had been no time to get there. Where he was in the world, his choices had been John’s Bunker or death.

He wasn’t antisocial, but being who he was, any time he did leave his rooms he was never granted a moment's peace. Especially in the immediate months after the collapse. A year on things had become easier, but not by much. 

In the artificial time cycle they had created, it was technically late. The lights had been dimmed, many of the inhabitants retiring to their beds or communal quiet spaces. It was the perfect time for him to go for a walk and take his evening meal in the dining room.

A book open on the table in front of him, Joseph sat in contemplative silence, sipping at his tea and reading. He was alone at the Seed family table, only a few others in the hall and all knowing he preferred not to be disturbed. 

Turning the page of his book, he heard the thundering of footsteps. He looked up with a frown, Rey rushing into the room, giggling with short breath. 

“You didn’t see me!” she whispered, sliding under one of the dining tables and pulling the chairs in to conceal herself.

Joseph was silent, blinking with astonishment. The question of what she was doing hung on the tip of his tongue until John stormed into the hall, stopping and scanning the environment. Joseph watched him, a single eyebrow raised.

His younger brother walked further inside, a thoughtful smile on his face until he turned suddenly, pulling out the chairs and grabbing a handful of Rey’s arm.

“Got you!” he declared, yanking her out from under the table. Joseph was worried the action was violent until he heard Rey squealing with laughter. 

John squatted down, throwing his wife over his shoulder and smacking her on the ass. Suddenly noticing Joseph sitting there, he nodded to his older brother.

“Evening, Joseph.” He smiled, turning to walk out of the hall, Rey still slung over his shoulder with scarlet cheeks.

Joseph sighed.

“I’m...going back to my room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say a sincere thank you to everyone who left comments when I really needed that boost. While I am writing this for fun, it means the world to know that people are reading and enjoying something I put my energy and love into. 
> 
> PD3 xx


	17. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every morning, Rey wakes up and heads to the local diner for her breakfast. 
> 
> It's too early for John and his bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set a few months after she first moves to Hope County, before the arrest and the rise of the cult
> 
> Chapter warnings: John is an extra little bitch at times...
> 
> This is more of a little drabble than a full chapter.

The morning sun felt warm on Rey’s skin as she left her cabin, squinting in the yellow light before pulling on her aviator sunglasses. Locking the door of her space behind her, she yawned before smoothing her dark green shirt and heading out to face the day.

The bright mornings in Montana were something she still hadn’t become used to, even after months of living near Fall’s End. In New York, she could hide in the shade of towering buildings if she wasn’t ready to face the day. Here she had no such fortune. She started her walk, the sun casting a golden glow over the vibrant green fields. A smile graced her, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. Early or not, one look at the views reminded her that moving had been the right decision.

Hope County was beautiful and she had finally begun to make her cabin her own, accepting that unpacking the last of her boxes wouldn't be a dark omen. Having grown up moving between children’s homes, Rey had become quite the packrat and she’d learned quickly that there was little point in unpacking when she’d just have to put it all away again.

But not this time. This was a new life for her, a fresh start and if she was going to commit to it the way she claimed, putting down roots and unpacking was a good way to start.

“Good morning, deputy!”

She waved hello to some of the local farmhands, already up starting their tasks. Moving from a city where people actively ignored you to a small community was jarring, to say the least. Clearly they’d all been told of her arrival and everyone was beyond friendly, keen to show the best of their hospitality.

Even that church had made itself known to her, John Seed coming to the station to introduce himself. 

As friendly as everyone was, there was one small thing that still made her feel like an outsider. Growing up in New York, living in Brooklyn, had given her accent an east coast twist. It wasn’t strong, but it was there and as well meaning as people were, they delighted in pointing it out.

It made ordering her morning coffee an awkward affair.

Rey braced herself as she pushed her way into the Fall’s End diner. Normally the owner Rosanne would throw her a huge smile, asking in a loud call across the restaurant if she was in for her usual coffee and muffin, using an accent that was closer to a cartoon gangster than anyone native to her home city. The first time had drawn an awkward laugh. Now it was a tight lipped smile.

But something else caught her attention that morning.

“What the hell is this?!”

Instead of Rosanne behind the counter, a young girl was tending to customers. She couldn’t have been more than 16 years old. Her eyes were huge with fear, wisps of hair fallen from her bun floating around her head as she shook, desperately trying to placate the irate man in front of her.

John Seed was scowling, his brows knitted together over his icy blue eyes, his teeth bared in an incredulous growl. Rey audibly sighed, pulling off her sunglasses to pinch her brow. Really, it was far too early for John and his bullshit.

“It...it’s the coffee you ordered?” the girl replied timidly, her voice shaking. 

John rolled his eyes dramatically. “There are  _ grounds _ in it! Honestly, you think you were going to get away with serving me this mud in a cup!” he growled arrogantly as if the small oversight was a personal offense.

“I...I’m sorry!” she apologized, “I can make you another one…”

“Do that, and make sure you get it right this time!” He replied shortly, “Don’t you know who I am?”

Rey had heard enough. “Everything alright here, Mr. Seed?”

His head snapped around from his place leaning on the counter, the scowl replaced with a charming smile in an instant.

“Ah, good morning Deputy,” he purred, “No, no problems here!”

“Really? Because it looks like you’re giving this poor girl here a hard time!” Rey chastised, “Over a cup of coffee.” Rey turned to the terrified teenager behind the counter, “This your first day?”

“Ye...yes.”

“Well, don’t let this guy bother you. You’re doing a good job. I’m sure Mr. Seed here just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Rey smiled. 

John’s eyes danced, looking Rey up and down with pursed lips until a slow, knowing smile spread. She tilted her chin, meeting his eyes with a silent challenge.

“You know, Deputy, I never noticed how... _ pronounced _ that accent of yours gets when you’re annoyed.” he smiled, “Dropping all your ‘g’s and ‘r’s...how very quaint.”

Her spine was rigid, still holding her ground but she couldn’t fight the heat rising on her cheeks, silently praying that her face wasn’t as red as it felt. Her jaw clenched, grinding her back teeth.

“You know, for a man of God, I’d expect you to show a little more kindness.” She said, “What’s the quote…’ forgive and you will be forgiven’? Come on, Mr. Seed, it’s a little early to be this much of a pain in the ass. Apologize, please.”

John held her gaze before finally rolling his eyes, snorting derivatively. He swiped his fresh coffee from the counter. “I’m sorry that you’re not good at your job…”

“John!”

“Alright, alright!” he grumbled, “I’m sorry that I shouted at you.” he reluctantly offered, the sneer on his face a clear indication that he didn’t mean it one bit, but it was the best she was going to get from him.

“Thank you.” Rey conceded, “Enjoy the rest of your day, Mr. Seed.” she smiled sweetly as he brushed past her and out of the diner.

The girl finally relaxed, smiling gratefully at Rey and thanking her for the help. Approaching the counter, Rey ordered her breakfast, hoping that caffeine and sugar improved her mood.

00000

The day before had been uneventful. Hours of patrols and paperwork followed by an evening of catching up on her laundry and falling asleep with a book on her face. None of it had been enough to distract her from the nagging ball of insecurity that sat in her stomach.

Jokes and jibes about her accent normally rolled off her back in a matter of minutes, but coming from him, it stung a little more. She wished she could pinpoint exactly why. It’s not like she cared what he thought of her, right? 

She was a Hope County junior deputy, and he was the weird figurehead and legal representative of a strangely devoted religious group. That was it. 

To her chagrin, his comments still played on her mind as she made her morning walk towards the diner. When she arrived, Rosanne had returned behind the counter.

“Morning Deputy!” she called, “Havin’ your usual  _ ‘cawfee and muffin’ _ today?”

Rey smiled tightly, the usual joke from the woman hitting a little bit harder. She pulled out a few dollars from her pocket, the brown paper bag and cup put in front of her. Rosanne shook her head.

“Oh no, honey. You don’t need to pay today,” she explained kindly, “It’s paid for.”

“If it’s over that thing yesterday. I’m still happy to pay.” Rey smiled, trying to hand over the money. Rosanne folded Rey’s hand into a fist for her, enclosing the money.

“John Seed was in here earlier. Acted the perfect gentleman. Paid for his coffee and put your breakfast on a tab, told us to make sure you didn’t have to pay for a thing!” she explained, Rey’s face stupefied, “In fact, he overpaid so consider your breakfast on him for at least the next week!”

“Oh.” It was her only response. John, while charming in his own self-serving way, wasn’t known for his random acts of kindness. Grabbing her food, she wandered back out into the street ready to head in the direction of the station.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket.

_ <John Seed> Enjoy your breakfast. For what it’s worth, I happen to think that accent of yours is adorable.  _

She blushed furiously, pocketing her phone and sipping her gifted coffee.


	18. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's one thing declaring peace, it's another to practice it. Rey finds out first hand that peace isn't always the easiest path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set just after peace talks have been concluded. Rey and John are married and their relationship has been made public. (See previous canon chapters)
> 
> Chapter warnings: Male on female violence, Kidnapping, John just going fucking feral.
> 
> (Enjoy some OTT kidnapping fun...because I fancied writing something hella dramatic)

John was practically drooling.

Normally Rey didn’t mind. She loved seeing how John slept. He looked peaceful, without a hint of tension, his mouth slack as he snored softly. But on this occasion he happened to be sleeping directly on top of her, his weight pinning her to the bed and his head almost nestled between her breasts. It would have made a romantic image if she didn’t feel like she was trapped in a sauna. 

“John?” she tried shaking him gently, “John? Come on, you have to wake up.”

He groaned, arms tightening around her waist as he rolled his face into her chest. Rey giggled, his lips trailing sloppy, tired kisses on her skin.

“I’m sure you’ve got things to do as well.” she pointed out, but he shook his head, his beard tickling her.

“Nothing important.” He mumbled.

Rey found that difficult to believe. Peace talks were officially over, an agreement finally reached between Eden’s Gate and the people of the county. It was easier in theory than practice. Some were ready to forgive, to move on and rebuild. There were others who had different feelings, still bitter and angry over the cult's actions, unwilling to forgive and swearing to never forget. Their anger reminded her of fire. Even when the flames weren’t rising, the heat in the embers took time to finally cool.

It made the job of the Sheriff's department that much harder when those people, still clinging onto their hate, sought out trouble with the cult who were, by and large, trying to keep to Josephs instructions. The truth about her marriage had almost made her job impossible. She was the hero deputy who led Hope County against the cult, but to some, now she was a traitor. 

“Well, I still have a job to do,” she sighed ruefully, rolling him off her body, “I wish I didn’t…”

“I keep telling you, there’s no reason for you to keep doing that job,” John pointed out, shoving his hair back from his face and blinking at the ceiling, “You don’t need to work. I’ve got us.”

“And while that’s incredibly generous, I don’t work for the money. I love my job and I like being useful.” she replied, stretching her tired muscles to life, “Besides, it’s a small minority causing problems. Nothing I can’t deal with.”

John rolled onto his side, his expression sceptical. She’d come home upset more than once, even if she’d thought she had hidden it well. He knew.

“You shouldn’t have to ‘deal with it’,” he grumbled. 

Rey shrugged, running a brush through her hair. “We knew making peace wasn’t going to be as simple as shaking hands. The shit that went down? People don’t forget easily. Not everyone is ready to move on.”

John only nodded. Considering just how much hurt he caused first hand, he didn’t feel like he had much of an opinion on the matter. He’d harboured enough of his own bitterness to know what it could do to a person.

“Come on, what’s that face for?” Rey asked, climbing back onto the bed.

“Sometimes I wonder if watching you put up with all this is God’s strange way of punishing me,” He sighed, “I was part of what caused it all...and now I can’t do anything to help.”

She reached forward to grasp his face, bending down and kissing him sweetly.

“‘For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more’, I think that was Jeremiah 31:34,” she smiled, “Things will work out...in time.”

“I wish I had your faith,” John snorted. Rey kissed him again, standing back up from the bed to quickly continue dressing.

“We’ll work on it later tonight!” she winked, grabbing her badge and gun belt from the top of the dresser. “Come on. Up. I know you have meetings today and some of those might help reinforce some good feelings for the church.”

“Ugh. Fine,” John groaned, finally rolling out of bed, the longer strands of his hair messy, “Can I expect you home at the usual time?”

“And not a minute later!” she grinned. 

Kissing him one last time, Rey attached the last of her belt straps as she left their home.

00000

“And can you believe she  _ married  _ John Seed of all people? I mean who saw that coming?!”

“I guess if the deputy can forgive then maybe there’s still something good there…”

“I don’t care what anyone says, you can’t trust a fucking peggie!”

The whispers were getting less frequent. Or maybe people were just more selective about what they said around her now it was common knowledge who her husband was. Eventually, new gossip was bound to overshadow her news, Adelaide had certainly offered to help in that department, but it was going to take time. 

Rey didn’t mind. With the conflict over they had nothing but time. Thankfully, most people were more curious than vicious, desperate to know the small details like how it all began and how the ceremony went. Not that Rey was going to tell them anything. She wanted to douse the flames, not fan them.

The radio on her dash crackled.

“Dispatch to Jackson? Come in, over.”

“Go ahead.”

“Rey, we got a report of some illegal firearm use at the Doverspike compound, over.”

Rey sighed, rolling her eyes before she answered. Now that the conflict was done, the Sheriff's department was paying attention to the ownership of certain weapons without a permit. The fact Sharky Boshaw hadn’t been hauled in yet was a miracle. It meant if she wasn’t breaking up fights started by those reluctant to peace, she was busting people for possession of illegal weapons.

Something that hadn’t been a problem only a few months prior.

“Who called it in, over?” Rey asked.

“Some anonymous tip. You’re the closest in the area. I know you’re on your own, we can have Pratt meet you there, over.”

“Affirmative. Sounds good, I’ll see him there. Jackson, over and out.”

She drove towards the property with a fair amount of indifference to her task. Pratt had to be there as back up but was there really any point? Go in, ask if they had a permit and deal with the answer. If she was lucky, this would be her last call of the afternoon. By the time she’d filled in the paperwork, it would be time to clock out.

The old Doverspike place still lay empty. If she’d been paying closer attention, that should have been her first clue that something wasn’t right. Pratt hadn’t arrived yet, but she saw no harm in looking around the place.

“Hello?” she called out into the empty building. Debris and dust littered the place, the old TV in the corner working but showing nothing but static. Her own voice echoed back at her, the musty air cool now she was out of the sunlight.

“Some fucking tip,” she muttered to herself, grabbing for her radio, “Jackson to dispatch, come in dispatch?”

“Go ahead.”

“Dispatch, cancel Pratt. That call in at the Doverspike place was a bust. There’s nothing here. Over.”

“Understood. Dispatch out.”

She clipped the radio back onto her belt, wondering if it was too soon to call it a day. The late afternoon sun was dipping in the sky. It was a shame. The Doverspike place was in a beautiful location. It could really be something if someone decided to take it in hand and rebuild.

Those thoughts, pleasant and unguarded were tainted by the smell of something acrid. She could feel the damp sensation from the cloth that covered her nose and mouth, the smell clogging the air and making her head spin. She wasn’t unconscious, not yet, but just drugged enough that she couldn’t move her limbs. Everything felt like a lead weight as a faceless person shoved a bag over her head.

The floor she was thrown onto was solid, the sound of a vehicle taking her away.

00000

“Wakey wakey, deputy.”

Her stomach churned, lurching as she began to regain clarity. It didn’t matter that her limbs still felt heavy, she was tied down to whatever she was sitting on, her arms fastened behind her tightly and her feet bound at the ankles.

It wasn’t a recognisable space. Grey and cold with corrugated metal walls like the inside of a small, dilapidated hanger. Reddish-brown rust crept up the walls and into the corners. Blinking rapidly, she tried to bring her vision back. The two men in front of her came into focus.

“See, I told you I hadn’t used too much of that stuff!” the first one barked at his companion. He was younger, a thin layer of stubble over his angular face. A trucker hat rested over his shaggy black hair.

His companion was older, grey flecked in his beard. His arms were crossed over his thick frame, a scowl on a face that otherwise would have looked kind.

“That remains to be seen. She ain’t said anything yet!” he snapped, “Deputy, you with us, girl?”

“Where am I?” Rey asked, her throat rough from whatever they’d had her inhale.

The older man shrugged, pulling a hunting knife from his belt and levelling it at her face. “It doesn’t matter where you are. What matters is that today, we’re going to right some wrongs!”

She swallowed, her eyes trailed on the tip of the knife that danced dangerously close to her cheek. “Let me fucking go! I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, yes you do!” he warned, “You and your little cult buddies! Did you really think that we were going to let them get away, after everything they’ve done?!”

The indignant scowl on her face contorted into something sad. “We made peace for the good of everybody. Too many people were being hurt, on both sides!” she insisted. 

The older man sneered at her, his younger partner looking twitchy by the door. “I know  _ exactly _ how many people they hurt. I lost everything because of those assholes, and now local law just expects us to make nice?”

“We understand that!” Rey pressed, still trying to tug at her restraints, “But we need to move past it, to heal.”

“Of course  _ you _ would say that,” he hissed, “You’re the biggest traitor of them all. Marrying John Seed!? That man is a monster, just like the rest of his fucking family!”

“You don’t know him like I do,” Rey defended, “I’m not saying he’s innocent, but you don’t know the steps they’ve taken to change. They wanted to make peace first!”

The knuckles smashing into the side of her face had been unexpected. Even drugged and tied up, it hadn’t occurred to her that the man would lay a finger on her. Spot danced around her eyes, her face aching as she righted her posture. 

“Jesus, Phil!” the younger man gasped, still keeping an eye on the door, “Hurry this up will ya? Just take the picture and send it!”

The young man's knuckles were white where he gripped the rifle, his hands shaking. The older man, Phil, seemed a little more collected, his anger giving him focus, but it was clear they were no professional criminals.

Just two normal guys, driven by desperation.

“The Seed family took everything from me!” he growled, “They took my farm, my business, my wife. I lost everything I had...and your  _ husband _ is responsible.”

It hurt that she couldn’t deny it, but this man wasn’t here to listen to her defence. Her face still throbbing, Rey took a deep breath, a wave of calm passing through. If John’s punishment was watching someone he loved suffer for his actions, maybe this was hers for falling in love with someone like him.

“What are you going to do to me?” she asked quietly. 

Her calm made the older man pause. “You’re our leverage. The cult leaves the county...or you die.”

His words were chilling, but they lacked conviction. She could see it in his stance, in the way his gaze dropped.

“You don’t want to do that.” Rey said gently, “I don’t think you want to kill me!”

“Shut up!” he spat, landing a hard slap on her cheek, his voice shaking, “You don’t know what I want!”

“I know that you’re angry,” she pressed, tears in her eyes from the sting in her cheek, “I understand, believe me, I do! I was angry for so long but holding onto that hate is going to do you more harm...look at you, you’ve kidnapped a police officer! If you let me go now, things will be easier for you-”

“Shut the fuck up!” he screamed, waving the knife in her face, the blade catching her on the cheek, blood slowly beginning to ooze down her skin. Rey leaned back as best she could, her head still swimming, “Shut your fucking mouth, or I’m going to send you back to Seed in pieces!”

“Damn, Phil!” the other man shook “Calm down!”

“You’re in way over your head,” Rey highlighted, “The authorities know my last location and that I didn’t return to the station. I was due home hours ago, people will be looking for me…”

Another backhand landed hard on her cheek, her face aching as a slow trickle of blood began to stream from her nose down her lip. The metallic taste tainted her tongue and her sympathy for the men dwindled.

“Nobody knows where you are!” he growled, reaching into the pocket of his checked shirt. He pulled out a cell phone, waving it in front of her, “Alright, now you’re really looking the part. They’ll know I’m serious when I send this picture.”

Rey squinted at the phone. “Is...that mine?” she asked, spitting blood on the floor. 

“Obviously,” he grunted, lifting the phone to take a picture of her, pressing the button to send. Her expression was unnerving, a smile spreading across her face. Her teeth were stained with blood, adding to her manic appearance as she started to laugh.

“What the fuck is so funny?” the younger man asked nervously, shifting from foot to foot like a man desperate to run, “Man, make her stop laughing, it’s freaking me out!”

“Cut that out!” Phil snapped, “I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you, girl!”

Rey looked at him with wide eyes and a gruesome grin. Her nerves were on fire from pain, her head pounding and the last of her patience gone.

“John is going to fucking kill you!” she laughed, tipping her head back. 

“He doesn’t know where you are!” Phil drawled, but his confidence was fading, “And if he gives a shit about you at all, the minute he gets our demands, he’ll be high tailing it out of here!”

“You have  _ no _ idea who you’re dealing with.” Rey sighed, “It’s not just John. It’s his family  _ and  _ the sheriff’s department. You took a cop hostage. You took John Seed’s wife hostage  _ and _ you put your hands on me...how do you think this is going to go for you guys?”

“Aw shit. Phil, I think she’s right,” the lookout whined, “Maybe we should just dump her somewhere?”

“Shut up!” Phil hissed, “You said we’d see this through. She’s just trying to freak you out.”

“And it’s working!” the man replied, “You promised this whole thing would go our way!”

“It will! She’s bluffing,” he growled, “Nobody knows where we are.”

The roar of an SUV by the building made the younger man jump, his whole body shaking and eyes wide with fear. 

“Dude, we have to go!” he squeaked, “We’ve been made!”

“Go and check it out. It’s probably nothing!” Phil snapped. 

He looked the door up and down, nervously pushing past and stepping into the open. Phil didn’t take his eyes away from Rey, listening to the murmuring of voices outside. A single gunshot rang out and Rey smiled.

“John has a tracker on my phone,” Rey mentioned flippantly, “I tried to tell you…”

He rushed behind her chair, using his knife to release her hands, grabbing her roughly and dragging her to her still bound feet.

“Get up!” He shouted, “You’re coming with me.”

He wrapped his arm tightly around her neck, his knife pressed against her stomach. It was difficult to take a breath with the joint of his arm squeezing her throat, or she would have told him his efforts were pointless and there was nowhere for him to go. There was only one exit.

He began to pull her backwards, the heel of her boots dragging on the concrete floor when the door across from them swung open. 

John’s silhouette blocked the dying light, coat swinging by his knees as he stormed into the room with purpose, his face hard. 

Phil raised the knife, pointing it directly at John. “Stay back! I’m warning you.” Rey could feel the tension in him, the fear he was radiating as his body began to shake. A man in over his head, just as she’d called it.

John said nothing, his head tilted as he appraised the situation in front of him. She could feel the heat from his gaze, the minute twitch under his left eye. He was grinding his back teeth, she could see it, his fists opening and closing with pent up tension.

“You’re warning me?” John clarified, his voice much too calm, “You put your hands on my wife…and you’re warning me? How interesting.”

Phil stood his ground, holding Rey tightly against him. “You...you and your family, your whole fucking cult need to leave Hope County by morning...or...or I’ll kill her!”

John smiled viciously, his pale eyes narrowing. He could see the resolve of the man in front of him crumbling and in different circumstances maybe he’d have felt something akin to pity. The bruising that had already begun to form on her skin, the blood running from her nose made him feel differently.

It only took one distraction, the squeaking of the door, for Phil to lose his focus. Rey landed her elbow directly in his sternum, freeing herself as John rushed forward to pick the man's legs from under him, sending them both to the ground with a dull thud.

Rey watched from the side as John mounted Phi’s body, landing solid punches to his face, the sickening sound of bone meeting bone resonating in the room. Jacob had been the one to open the door, helping Rey to cut free from her bonds. 

“John? John!” She screamed, but he wasn’t listening.

Like a man possessed, he kept swinging with both hands, one then the other. Phil’s head snapped from side to side with every blow, becoming less recognisable. Rey knew the cruelty John was capable of, but she’d never seen such a carnal side of him. Grasping Phil’s head, John roared as his thumbs pressed down on the man’s eyes, the sight too much for Rey to stomach.

Phil had long stopped moving, a final twitch of a leg his last moment. John’s knuckles were raw and his hands covered in blood by the time Jacob approached, almost literally pulling his youngest brother off the man’s body.

“That’s enough, you got him.” Jacob stated, “Go. Go get Rey. I got this.”

She was sitting on the floor, back pressed against the wall when he approached, crouching down in front of her like she was a timid animal ready to bolt. Whatever bloodlust had taken over was starting to dissolve, the adrenaline making his bloody hands shake.

He hated the way she flinched when he touched her knee.

“Rey?” his voice was so soft in contrast to his actions,“Please...please don’t be afraid of me.”

His hair falling over his face made him look younger, his still wild eyes begging her to see that it was still him. She swallowed, nodding her head.

“I’m not,” she whispered, finally letting it all wash over her. Her eyes stung, John in front of her beginning to blur, “I just want to go home.”

A sob broke free, falling forward into his waiting arms as he crushed her against his body. Grasping her face, crimson from his knuckles smearing on her cheek, he kissed her desperately. The taste of blood tainted the action, a frown contorting his brow, but she was there and that’s what mattered. 

“Let’s go home.”

00000

“I promise I’m fine,” Rey said down the phone, an ice pack pressed against the side of her face, “It’s all superficial. It’ll heal in a few days, a week tops!”

John could tell she was forcing levity, her voice tired, but at least she was talking. 

The whole way back from where they’d found her somewhere in the Whitetail Mountains, she’d remained mostly silent. Tucked into his side, her arm tightly gripping around his waist under his coat, she’d only nodded or shook her head in response to questions.

She was in shock, he knew that, but that didn’t stop him selfishly wanting her to say something. Heading inside the house, Rey immediately peeled away from him to make for the stairs.

“Rey?”

She stopped, turning on the first step. “John, I just...can I get a minute? I’m going to go for a shower.” She didn’t sound upset, but rather weary. 

John fought the disappointment on his face, forcing a smile and reminding himself that it wasn’t about him. “Of course, angel. Are you hungry? I can get some food ordered?”

“You know what, yeah. That would be good.” She smiled weakly. Truthfully, she wasn’t all that hungry but she knew John. It was better to give him a task to focus on, even a basic one or he would only fixate on his worry.

An hour later she reappeared, freshly washed and in clean clothes. Bruising had already begun to show around her cheekbone. The kitchen was filled with foil containers, John following behind her babbling that he didn’t know what to order so he just got  _ everything _ . 

John stopped talking when she turned to face him, her bottom lip shaking. He was next to her in two long strides, standing firm as she collapsed against him in tears. 

“Shh. It’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m here.” He muttered, stroking her hair. Her hands balled into fists, gripping his shirt as she cried, finally giving in to her weaknesses.

There was nothing he could say to make it better, another point of frustration. He’d never voiced his worry, but he’d been waiting for something like this to happen. People didn’t forgive easily and he hadn’t yet atoned in their eyes, of course, Rey was going to be the target used to hurt him. Now it had happened and he was so angry with himself for not putting precautions in place sooner. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to her crown, “I’m so sorry.”

Her sobs quietened down to nothing more than sniffles. She looked up at him with red eyes and puffy, marked skin, wiping the excess tears from her cheeks as she took a deep, composing breath. “I must look a fucking mess.” she smiled weakly.

“No, you look beautiful to me.” He assured her, smoothing back her hair. It mystified him how she could go from a breakdown to relatively fine in the space of a few minutes. 

Having cried herself out, she rolled her neck and shoulders, complaining how sore she was while asking what he’d got for dinner. He supposed you didn’t do her job without being able to bounce back, and Rey had seen more than most people. Still, he worried silently.

Now she was pacing the room on the other side of his coffee table near the fire, an ice pack pressed against her face and her phone against the other ear. The glow of the flames softened the look of her injuries and John found it impossible to focus on the book in his hand when her conversation was much more interesting.

“That’s...great. Thanks, Earl.” She smiled, “I owe you more than one. Yeah, I’ll come and see you tomorrow. Bye.”

She hung up, throwing her phone on the cushions of a nearby chair. She wandered to the sofa, falling into John’s open arm and cuddling against his side. He took the ice pack from her hand, the arm around her shoulders taking over the task and pressing it gently against her bruised face.

“Earl said it was a real shame about those two men they found up north,” Rey said casually, “Mauled by  _ wolves _ . Bodies almost unrecognisable.”

“Is that so?” John commented.

Rey nodded. “Yup. He said it was probably what they deserved too...for what they did,” she continued, “Said next time he’ll have to buy those wolves a drink.”

“I’m sure they’ll be happy to take him up on that,” John smirked, holding her close in the peace of their ranch sitting room. The fire crackled, filling the air with the comforting scent of charred pine. 

“Do you think peace is really going to work?” she asked thoughtfully, breaking the quiet of the room. “I never doubted it, but...they were  _ so _ angry and hurt. I don’t know how that just goes away.”

John took a long breath, contemplating his answer. “I...don’t think it will be easy. Or quick. But I think it can happen eventually.”

“Really?”

“It’s like you said,” he continued, “Things will work out in time.” 

Rey snorted a humourless laugh, her eyes growing heavy. “I wish I had your faith,” she yawned, mirroring his morning sentiments. John held her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“It’s not  _ blind _ faith. I have you,” he explained, “Let’s face it, we weren’t exactly a classic romance.” Rey snorted again, the pair laughing together. “But if you could see past my sins and forgive me...I think others will come round in time.”

They fell quiet again, Rey simply enjoying the feeling of having him so close. The warmth and safety of the room, the steady rise and fall of his chest where they lay encouraged her to give in to sleep. 

“Or if they don’t...the collapse is going to take them anyway.” he shrugged. 

Even half-awake, she knew he was only barely joking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's an idea to point out that even with peace, Eden's Gate still believes the collapse is coming. John isn't going to give up his religious beliefs just like that!


	19. Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She'd gone to him one time to try and scratch and itch but it only made her attraction to him worse. Vowing that her night with John was a one time only deal, Rey attempts to have a night in to herself in a bid to get over the Baptist.
> 
> John has other ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict after they've had their first night together. Very much the start of their relationship.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Party crashers, Oral, NSFW Smut, wasted bourbon.

“Why don’t you take a few days off? You look exhausted.”

As much as she wanted to thank Earl for his compliment, her Sheriff's words were music to her ears. She  _ was _ exhausted, she just didn’t need anyone pointing out how much it showed on her face.

Not that she was going to tell them the real reason why she was losing sleep. Let them think she was overworked running and gunning all over the county. It was easier to stomach than the truth.

_ You know John Seed? Yeah, the guy skinning people. Slept with him to try and kill that old itch of mine and, SURPRISE, he was amazing in bed so now I’m hung up like a teenager... _

Somehow, she wasn’t sure it would go down very well.

The little itch that had been bothering her had since turned into a full blown ache. She could remember with intricate detail the sound of groans, the feel of his hands roughly tearing at her clothes, his teeth scraping against her throat. It made her dizzy, distracted and since it had been all that had consumed her thoughts for at least a week, it was no wonder Earl gave her some marching orders.

“How do girls do this again?!” she muttered to herself. It had been so long since she’d been infatuated with anyone, she’d forgotten how irritating it all was.

“Boy trouble, darlin’? What you need to do...is find yourself another boy!” Adelaide had told her, “Nothing gets you over one dick like jumping onto another! I’ll even let you borrow Zander if you like?!”

A sound idea in theory but Rey already knew there was nobody in Hope County that could compare and as much as she loved Adelaide, getting involved with her and her toyboy’s sexcapades was not something she wanted to do.

“I used to like this guy, but I couldn't get him out of my head. Almost drove me crazy!” Grace had commented.

“So what did you do?”

“I got shipped out to Iraq.”

“Oh.”

As nice and convenient as that sounded, it wasn’t really an option. 

“Forget all that! What you need is a nice, relaxing, girls night in yourself!” Joey advised, “Get into your comfiest PJs, watch movies, drink some wine and just focus on you. I swear, after a few days off and some self-care, you’ll feel like a new woman!”

It was the first suggestion that hadn’t sounded completely crazy and that was how Rey found herself walking home from the Falls End market with a bag full of junk food, candles and bourbon. 

From the window of her cabin, Falls End looked pretty in the waning light, the neon of the Spread Eagle’s sigh illuminating the area pink, the lights around the church casting a comforting glow on the white building. She sighed happily. It was time to get comfortable.

After cleaning the place free of clutter, she spread around some of the candles, scents sweetening the air before finally changing into a pair of black jersey shorts and an old NY police academy sweater. The aged cotton felt so soft against her skin, well worn over the years. She smiled to herself, popping the cork of her Eagle Rare Kentucky bourbon and pouring herself a generous glass.

It wasn’t quite the rosé she was sure Joey had in mind, but she wasn’t about to change the habit of a lifetime. 

A drink in one hand and a packet of twinkies in the other, Rey pulled all her drapes closed to settle herself on her sofa. Wrapped in a blanket, the ambient candlelight softening the room, Rey started her movie.

Every Pinterest infographic she’d seen on having a girly night in had told her to watch something lighthearted but the last thing she wanted to see was a good looking girl living happily ever after with a cookie-cutter ‘nice guy’.

“No, thank you!” She declared to herself, “I will take being scared to death over that any fucking day.”

Her movie played, Rey absently chewing a twinkie as she cowered behind her blanket, barely able to watch the screen even though she knew what was coming. The group of teens had just stumbled upon the old house with no idea what was inside. She gulped back her bourbon, wrapping herself in a cocoon of plaid wool.

“Don’t go in there...don’t go in there!” she muttered to the TV screen, willing the girl not to find the room with furniture made of human bones.

She squeaked, trying to cover her face while Leatherface chased the girl and grabbed her around the waist to prevent her escape.

“Boo!”

Pam had just been impaled on a meat hook when she heard the voice, so close to her ear she could feel the heat from his breath. Rey screeched, leaping up from her place on the sofa, twinkie wrappers fluttering to the floor and the last of her bourbon soaking the front of her sweater as she raised the heavy glass, ready to smash whoever had invaded her home.

“Watching horror movies alone? No wonder we’re so jumpy, deputy!” 

John Seed was standing in her living room, a very amused smile on his face, his lips quivering as he tried not to laugh. Rey blinked at him in astonishment, hardly believing that the man she was forcing herself to forget was there in front of her uninvited.

Her heart was still pounding, her breathing coming in deep gulps and the smell of alcohol burned her nostrils. Slowly, her brain began to catch up with the situation.

“What the actual ever loving fuck are you doing here?” she spat, “Who do you think you are just walking into my home?!”

While Rey was still trembling from her body's fight or flight response, John seemed completely nonplussed, shamelessly looking her up and down.

“Should have locked the door. Don’t you know there are all kinds of people out at night? Aren’t you adorable in your little academy sweater!” he teased, his eyes shining in the candlelight. He stopped, eyeing the candles in the hatch that separated the kitchen, the chocolates and bourbon on her coffee table. He sauntered towards her, shooting her a charming smile.

“Candles? For me? Oh, deputy, you shouldn’t have and I’m really more of a scotch man myself…”

“I didn’t, you narcissistic fuck! ” Rey hissed, finally starting to calm down, but she prayed he couldn’t see the blush on her cheeks.

“Having a little night in? You should have called me, I’d have been happy to keep you company.”

“Well, I didn’t. You’re the last person I want to see!” Rey snapped, fruitlessly trying to dry the bourbon stain on the front of her sweater, “You’re lucky I don’t shoot you in the face.”

“Somehow, I don’t think you want to do that.” He declared confidently. Rey felt rooted to the ground as he slowly closed the gap between them, “Let’s face it, if you wanted to hurt me, you’d have at least smashed that glass over my head by now.”

Rey took a deep breath. Whatever cologne he was wearing mingled with the scent of the bourbon, the smooth spice warming her chest. “Why are you here?”

He was thinking of an answer, she could practically see the wheels turning, his eyes searching her face. It was offensive how cocky he was coming into her space but her direct question threw him. He didn’t immediately have an answer for her. If she wasn’t so pleased with herself, she’d have taken pity on him.

“Don’t tell me, there’s an armed convoy outside ready to take me to your bunker for confession?” she added with a smile. 

“Not quite.” He replied.

“Then why are you here, John?” she asked again.

He fixed a confident smile to his face. “I thought you might be missing me,” he shrugged, nonchalantly looking around, “And since I know how stubborn you can be, I thought I’d save you the soul searching and come to you.”

“What happened before...that can’t happen again!” Rey said, shaking her head, “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You can’t deny that there is something between us,” he taunted, leaning towards her.

Rey pushed him away, sliding past him and pacing the living room. “Oh okay. Sure. Never mind that you’re literally kidnapping people, torturing people. John...the things you believe in…”

He turned, closing in on where she stood. “What do  _ you _ want, Rey?”

“I want you to leave…”

“No. I didn’t ask what  _ Deputy Jackson _ wants,” he clarified. She began to stagger backwards, trying to maintain the distance between them until the counter that separated the living room and the kitchen hit her back, “I asked what  _ you _ want? Don’t think about those people, what’s expected of you...be selfish for once. What do you want?”

It was a loaded question and one she’d never given herself the luxury of answering. Ever since she was a kid, she’d always done the right thing, what was expected of her. She behaved herself, she worked hard at school. Growing up she became a model student, an exemplary law enforcement officer. Toeing the line was how she lived but she’d never experienced temptation like him before.

For the first time, what she should do and what she wanted were two different things.

“I...I should hand you over to the resistance,” she finally answered. 

John leaned his hand on the wall by her head, effectively caging her in. “That’s not an answer,” he smirked, “Go on, it’ll be our little secret.”

Confessing felt like a defeat but would it really be so bad? He was right there, staring at her with those baby blue eyes and he was right. They were alone. 

“You’re the one who came to me this time,” she said, deflecting his question.

He nodded and she hated how handsome he looked as strands of hair, normally so perfect, fell in front of his face.

“I know what I want and I take it.” he said plainly, “And I know you do too.”

She should have told him to leave, at the very least. He was one swift knee to the groin away from being at the mercy of the resistance. In one night, she could deal a fatal blow to Eden’s Gate and save Holland Valley from all the torment he’d been putting them through.

“We can’t tell a soul.” she breathed, his presence as intoxicating as the bourbon she’d drunk. 

Her eyes fluttered closed, his nose tracing against hers as he whispered his reply, “Cross my heart and hope to die.” 

She was trapped between his body and the counter which suited her fine. It only added to the pressure of his lips as he kissed her. She arched into his touch, his tongue insistently teasing as her arms snaked around his neck. The whine that she made when he pulled back abruptly should have left her mortified, but she was beyond the point of shame.

He glanced around, a thoughtful ‘hmm’ when he found what he was looking for. Without warning he bent down, scooping her up over his shoulder like she was nothing. Rey squealed, suddenly realising that John was far taller than he looked. 

“Sofa?” she muttered as he walked straight past it.

“Nope,” he replied shortly. She bobbed around on his shoulder until she was unceremoniously dropped onto her back on her bed, “Not the sofa!”

“It was right there,” she pouted, pulling off her sweater as he stood in front of the bed shedding his own clothing like a man possessed. 

By the time she was down to her underwear, John was completely bare. She bit her lip. The first time she hadn’t allowed herself the luxury of really looking at him. His lean body with the scales of justice on his chest, the scars that ran over his muscles, had her mouth going dry. One in particular took her attention, ‘lust’ etched into his skin just above his adonis belt.

“Like what you see, deputy?” he teased smugly, lazily pumping his solid length.

“If I said yes would it inspire you to action or inflate your ego?” she smirked, “I think you’re stalling, Seed.”

His sneer shouldn’t have been something she found sexy, but God help her, it sent a shock directly to her core. John grabbed her ankle, tugging her down the bed before grabbing her panties and yanking them hard. Her annoyed scowl didn’t last long when he wrapped his arms around her thighs, holding her in place as he settled on his stomach between her legs.

“And I think you’ll find, darling, I’m just being a fucking gentleman.”

There was no time to dwell on the term of endearment or how natural it sounded from him. Not when he licked a scalding path through her slit, teasing her nerves and playing her clit like he’d studied a handbook. Of course, she assumed you didn’t earn the scar of lust in such an intimate place without picking up some skills along the way.

She moaned, her back arching on the bed as he anchored her to him, licking and sucking with enthusiasm. Even if he was getting her off just to prove that he could, she wasn’t about to complain. Heat was building in her, tension coiling tightly in every muscle until she thought she couldn’t take it anymore but there was no way she was going to tell him to stop.

Completely unbidden, her legs began to shake, his grip the only thing keeping her in place. She could have sworn she felt him smile, the smug bastard continuing to play her body like a damn instrument, swirling his tongue over her clit in the exact way that turned her into a gasping mess. 

The overwhelming sensation took her faster than she expected, something between a sob and a wail ripping from her throat, her thighs wrapping around his head as he worked her through every aftershock, dragging out her orgasm as long as he could. 

Still in a haze, it barely registered that he hadn’t stopped. Sucking her clit, her hips bucked violently, his arms the only thing holding her in place with no way of pulling back. Every nerve felt like it was on fire, the feeling of his beard on her sensitive skin bordering on painful.

“No, I can’t do it…” 

“Yes, you can,” he smirked wickedly, the time he took to reply offering her the tiniest bit of rest until he returned to his skilled work.

He sucked her into his mouth, tongue dancing dizzying patterns, licking and sucking until the noises she made bordered on obscene. She was burning from the inside, trembling all over as pressure and pleasure exploded through her body. Barely catching her breath, she felt like she had been thoroughly rung out, completely depleted of strength.

Perhaps taking pity, he moved, focusing his attention on her thighs, occasionally nipping and leaving his mark as she came down from her high. She was speechless, her over-stimulated brain trying to find the right way to say that his mouth was incredible while  _ not _ inflating his ego any further.

He left her with a final bite to her inner thigh harder than she’d expected. She yelped indignantly, John sitting up to his knees and wiping his face with a self-satisfied grin.

“Next time, we’re going for three,” he declared confidently.

Rey tried not to think of the implications his words had. She wasn’t sure she had the ability to sit up, let alone question what he meant by ‘next time’.

He crawled up her body slowly, stopping only to suck a nipple until she was whimpering, her body fully alert again and ready for whatever he wanted to give her. The first time had been urgent, violent. Clearly, John was relishing the luxury of having time on his side.

Placing himself between her still wobbly legs, he groaned as he pushed into her, bending down to take her lips as he started a slow rhythm of deep thrusts. He was methodical with his movements, a slow drag followed by a sharp thrust that had her panting as she matched his pace.

Pressure built, slow and more intense than before, John hitting her deeply with every roll of his hips. She needed him closer, tugging him down until they were chest to chest, her head buried into his neck as she clung to him tightly, just to find purchase in something real and solid.

“Fuck...that’s it!” she panted, continuing her babbled words of encouragement. It was hard to remember they were enemies when he was making her feel so good, his hand planting next to her head as he picked up his pace.

He could feel her fluttering around him, his hips beginning to stutter as the pressure finally gave. She clung to him tightly, nails digging into his tattooed skin as she shook around him. His head dropped to her shoulder, coming with her, decidedly un-Christian curses leaving his lips.

She’d never known herself to be dramatic when it came to sex, but as she cried out against his pulse, sweat cooling on their skin, she wondered if sex with someone she was supposed to hate was meant to feel so intimate. She shuddered as he pulled away, rolling off her body to his back.

Now sated, the fog of lust began to dissipate leaving her with questions that she didn’t know how to answer. Before he could see the confused tears pool in her eyes in the dull light, her body overwhelmed, she pushed herself from the bed.

“I’m going to shower.”

John continued to stare at the ceiling.

00000

Emerging from the bathroom, her skin clean and hair damp, Rey found her bed empty.

It had been what she’d expected. She’d purposely stayed in the hot water longer than usual, trying to collect her scattered thoughts. One time was a mistake, twice was something done on purpose. Everything had felt far too personal for her from a man she was supposed to be hunting. 

Pulling on fresh clothes, she wandered back through to her living room.

“Urgh, hazelnut!”

She’d assumed he’d dressed and left but there he was, standing leaning on her kitchen counter surrounded by almost burned-out candles, casting judgement on the box of chocolates she’d bought. His face was screwed up as he chewed.

“Oh...you’re still here!” she acknowledged awkwardly. 

John smiled at her, that same cocky smirk that she refused to admit was growing on her. He sauntered to the sofa where his coat lay draped, picking up the garment and swinging it over his shoulders.

“Of course,” he shrugged, “Unlike you, I’m polite. I don’t leave without kissing goodbye.”

Her eyes narrowed, trying to place his motives but he was well practised at keeping his poker face. She hadn’t quite worked out if he had any tells. Rey rolled her eyes, walking him to the door.

“I don’t get you,” she said honestly, “I don’t get what this is.”

Opening the door into the night, John stopped at the threshold, turning to her. “You and I are more alike than you think, Rey. Think of the things you’ve done. When this is all over...however it ends...do you really think these people, your friends, are going to look at you the same way?”

She opened her mouth, immediately closing it again when she realised she had no answer for him. All the things she had to do, the people she’d killed, the destruction. It was because of Eden’s Gate. She was keeping people safe and surely when it was all over, they would see it that way?

John shot her a knowing smile, convinced he’d won a debate she wasn’t aware they’d been having. Swooping forward, he kissed her. A sweeter action than she knew he was capable of, soft lips and a gentle tongue that made her knees weak. He still tasted faintly of chocolate.

“I’ll always want you. Even when they don’t.” he confessed, “Because I know what it’s like to be considered a monster.”

He left her speechless, watching after his SUV long after it had disappeared from sight. 


	20. Collapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eden's Gate and the residents of Hope County had lived in peace for over a year. As a show of good faith, Joseph had even offered places in their bunkers for when the collapse came. 
> 
> Most laughed at his suggestion but nobody was laughing when the first bomb fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - After the peace talks. The county has been living in peace for just over a year at this point.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Character death

Life was good.

Peace between Eden’s Gate and the rest of Hope County hadn’t come easily. Even after the initial talks, the bad blood had taken time to dissipate. 

Rey smiled happily as she got into her SUV, waving to some of the Eden’s Gate followers as she left the ranch in the spring sunshine. It was hard to believe over a year had passed since the Baron Lumbermill fire that had taken so many lives. Over a year of living without open conflict and most importantly for her, a year since she’d been married.

Just like peace, acceptance of their relationship took time. John had told her to have faith. As usual, he had been right. Now every morning, instead of bringing up her New York accent, Rosanne in her newly reopened diner would say how she’d always thought that Rey and John would make a cute couple. As much as Rey wanted to call her out on her bullshit, she liked coffee too much to land on the owner's sour side.

“Morning everyone!” She called out happily as she walked into the station. 

Staci Pratt was already by his desk, absently stirring his coffee and blinking at the sunlight streaming in through the windows. 

“Morning.” He yawned, “You’re far too cheery for this time.”

“That’s because she’s still living in paradise.” Joey teased, walking in from the file room with some folders in her hand, “I’d be cheery too if I was sleeping on a luxury property with those huge feather beds!”

Rey rolled her eyes but smiled. At least Joey had finally come to terms with her marriage and her way of showing was with good-natured teasing. 

“I’ll have you know our bed is memory foam.” Rey quipped.

“I dunno, is it still luxury when there are peggies on the property?” Staci asked rhetorically. 

Rey wandered to her desk, hanging her coat on her chair. “Haha. You’re both hilarious. What happened to you both admitting that they’re actually nice people?”

“They are!” Staci defended, “You know...when they’re not trying to kill you because they think the world is ending!”

“They  _ still _ think the world is ending.” Joey pointed out, “Remember? Joseph offered everyone places in their bunkers.” 

“Thanks but no thanks!” Staci smiled, sipping his coffee and leaning back in his seat, “You don’t actually believe that shit do you?”

Rey awkwardly shook her head. “Uh no, I don’t. I have a slightly different relationship with God, thanks.”

“Doesn’t that make things weird though...with John I mean?” Joey asked, dropping her files on another desk and casually leaning against the wall, “I’d have assumed the cult had some pretty strict rules there.”

“Honestly, we just don’t talk about it.” Rey answered, “He knows how I feel and what I believe. I know what he believes and we just...don't.”

“But you’ve been to some sermons?” Staci pressed. 

Rey huffed an exasperated sigh. “I have. Not because I believe but because I love my husband and it’s a solidarity thing. He’s come with me to some of Pastor Jerome’s services!”

“Isn’t that weird?”

“Can we not talk about this anymore, please?” Rey asked, her voice edged with a warning, “I just got in so how about we discuss current affairs? Let’s see...what’s the news?” 

She reached across the desk to the daily newspaper, opening up to read the headlines aloud, “Negotiations between the US and North Korea fail.” Rey scowled, throwing the paper down, “Okay...maybe not. Christ, isn’t there any good news anymore?”

“We got more ink for the printer?” Staci suggested grinning.

Rey snorted, standing from her desk. “Thank God for that. We’re all saved.” 

From the front of the station, Earl Whitehorse walked in, tipping his hat to his staff.

“Good morning, grandfather figure!” Rey greeted cheekily.

Earl didn’t even look up from the stack of mail he was looking at. “Good morning, problem child,” he replied, smiling nonetheless. “I hope we’re all well rested for a day of police work.”

“As if there’s been anything to do for over a year.” Joey laughed, “Almost makes you miss those fighting days…” The rest of the staff stared at her incredulously, “What?! I said  _ almost _ !”

“Anyway, I’m sure we all have better things to do than standing around. Get to it people.” Earl commanded, heading into his office.

Rey grabbed her radio from the charging station and the car keys from the peg in the key box, Staci following her out to begin their patrol.

00000

An uneventful morning was exactly what Rey had been needing. 

It had turned into a beautiful spring day, the sun shining but with a breeze that just took the edge off any sweltering heat. Rey and Staci had driven their route, chatting away about anything that came into their minds. Occasionally they stopped to chat to some of the locals out tending their farms, being the good neighbourhood cops that the office needed them to be.

Just as the sun was hitting its highest in the sky, they passed the sign to enter Fall’s End. The radio prattled on, something about an imminent threat to US security.

“Urgh, turn that shit off.” Rey grumbled, killing the power to the radio, “I’m not having something as depressing as national news ruining my day.”

“So, do you think she’s single?” Staci asked, continuing his earlier train of thought.

“Who?”

“Who I was just talking about. Mary-May!” Staci exclaimed, “She’s cute you know? Doesn’t take any shit. I like that!”

“Well, you are literally surrounded all the time by women who could kill you, so why not another one?” Rey teased, parking the squad car by the side of the station. They both stepped out of the car, heading inside the station. “Just ask her out, Pratt. What’s the worst she could say?”

“No. The worst thing she could say is no!”

“After everything we’ve all been through, I don’t think that will kill you!” Rey pointed out.

Inside, Earl was standing by the front desk with Joey. “What won’t kill him?”

“Pratt wants to ask a girl out,” Rey explained. The phone in her pocket began to vibrate before she could give a further explanation, “Hold that thought.” She said, smiling at the name on the screen.

“Hello, handsome.” 

“Rey? You need-...bunker-...” 

She could barely make out John’s voice as it crackled and stuttered through the fuzzy line. “John? You’re going to need to say that again, I can’t hear you.” The phone crackled violently.

“Some-...come-...not safe-...move-...”

“What?!”

“BUNKER-...need-...to-...here-...”

She was ready to tell him she was going to hang up and try calling him back, the line so static she couldn’t make out more than an occasional word when the ground suddenly shook with such force, she stumbled forward against the reception desk.

“What the fuck was that?!” Joey grunted. Everyone in the building looked at one another with a mystified expression until it happened again, the whole room shaking, sending picture frames from the walls. 

Earl ran outside, his officers following him. Others lined the street, all staring at the horrific sight on the horizon.

“Jesus fucking christ,” Joey gasped.

A great cloud of thick black smoke was blooming in the sky, miles away but growing by the minute, darkening the light as it expanded. It was something they’d only ever seen in movies or pictures. Rey felt sick, a ball of cold settling in her stomach. The news stories, the radio and John’s frantic phone call. All connected to a horrible conclusion.

“We have to go!” Rey gasped, “We have to go NOW!”

The others were frozen, startled into action when the ground rumbled, another shock rocking where they stood. Rey grabbed Earl hard by the shoulders, shaking him to life.

“We have to go!” she repeated, shouting loud enough for everyone around her to hear. All around her people began to scream, panic setting in as they tried to grab whatever they could from their stores and homes, “There’s no time for that, just get yourself to a vehicle!”

“Where are we supposed to go?!” Joey shouted, pulling the keys to her own car from her pocket.

“John’s bunker. Or whatever bunker you know of that’s closest!” she replied urgently, “Anywhere that’s underground and safe!”

She started the engine as warning sirens began to scream, Earl on a squad car megaphone telling people to follow them and get to shelters as quickly as they could. In the backseat of the car, Staci was babbling.

“Fuck...they were right. Those fucking crazy peggies were right!”

“Pratt, this is  _ so _ not the time!” Rey hissed, the wheels of the car spinning on the gravel as she pulled out into the road. Others were behind her, vehicles of all kinds racing along the road from Fall’s End towards John’s Gate.

The great dust cloud was quicker than that, engulfing the makeshift convoy, darkening everything around them. Rey squinted, desperately trying to watch the road but barely able to see a few feet in front of the car's bumper. The sky grew red, the windows of the car unable to hold back the acrid smell of smoke as the trees began to burn.

“Holy shit,” Pratt cried, “Where is everyone else? Are they behind us?”

“I hope so cause I’m not fucking stopping!” Rey shouted, “Shit!”

Another car coming the opposite direction appeared from the shadows, Rey tugging the wheel at the last minute to swerve out of the way. The sudden movement sent Staci across the back seat. 

“You better strap in, this isn’t going to get any better!”

But Staci wasn’t listening. He gripped the passenger's seat in front of him, babbling prayers to any God that would listen. Rey wanted to join him, but there was no time to break down now. The car screamed past the Lamb of God church, animals in the fields panicking as they ran around in a frenzy.

She turned the corner onto the dirt road leading up towards the bunker, hoping that the others had been able to follow her or at least had gotten somewhere else safe. The winding road was difficult to navigate at the best of times. Now with the forest around her starting to burn and the depth of her vision taken, the car skidded on the gravel, precariously rocking from side to side.

“Almost there...we’re almost there…” she muttered, more to herself than Staci, her knuckles white on the wheel.

“Look out!” Staci screamed.

The tree was in front of them before she could react, the car smashing headfirst into the trunk. The seatbelt cut painfully into her torso. It had done its job, stopping her from flying through the windshield but couldn’t prevent her from smacking her temple sideways. The hellish world around her spun, blinking rapidly to bring her awareness back. Her door opened.

  
“Are you alright?!” Jerome shouted, unclipping her seatbelt, “We saw the crash from behind. Come on, we need to get out of here!”

“But what about…” Rey turned to the back, ready to grab Staci. He lay motionless, slumped forward, his head contorted at an unnatural angle, his eyes staring ahead blank and absent “Staci?”

“He’s gone, Rey.”

“But we can’t just leave him.” she choked. Jerome grabbed her shoulders tightly, pulling her away.

“We have to!” Jerome snapped, “I’m sorry but if we don’t move, we’re going to die here!”

She felt pulled away from the car, her body aching and feet heavy. Something damp was dripping down the side of her face, the slow trickle letting her know her senses were still with her. Others had joined them, flocking from their cars as the path upward narrowed, blocked off by debris until they had no choice but to reach the bunker on foot.

The bunker wasn’t a place Rey visited. She hadn’t been there since before their relationship began, when he’d tattooed ‘Wrath’ on her chest and tied her to a chair. He’d given her the key once as a symbol of what he’d given up for her. It swung around her neck with every shaky step.

The peggies at the gates of the compound were a relief, waving people forward and pointing where to go. John was at the main doors, scanning every face anxiously until he spotted her.

Everyone was almost inside when she stopped, turning to look over the valley. Bile rose in her throat, tears stinging her eyes. The world was on fire.

“Rey!” John screamed, shoving past to grab her hand, pulling her inside. When the last of his men were cleared and it seemed like nobody else would arrive, he closed the first set of doors, followed by the second.

“Get everyone inside. Start taking names and organising living spaces. If anyone is injured, you know where to take them.” 

Rey had only made it to the bottom of the main stairs, falling to sit on a nearby crate as she breathed the clearer air deeply. Above she could hear John, calm and commanding as he gave instructions to his followers. She was proud. He was exactly what people needed right now. Someone to take charge and show that everything was under control.

Her hands were shaking. She blinked at the floor, trying to make sense of it all but the image of the destruction was still burned in her mind. Looking up, her muffled hearing began to sharpen, a chorus of crying and sorrow from the non-believers who had escaped their fate. The peggies, however, were calm, efficiently seeing to their tasks. Of course they were. They believed in this. 

And they were right.

“Rey?” Relief like she’d never felt before flooded her senses when he said her name. She stood, falling into John’s arms and clinging to him for dear life, burying her head into his neck. He squeezed her tightly, stroking her hair, “I thought I’d lost you.”

“Did you know?” she sniffed, still holding onto him like a lifeline. She felt him nod.

“Only minutes before. It’s why I tried to call you.” he sighed, “But we’re safe here. The doors are sealed.”

“What if there are people still out there?” she asked helplessly, her stomach churned when he didn’t reply. “So we’ll just leave them?”

“It’s survival, angel,” he replied sadly.

She nodded mutely, basking in the feeling of safety he radiated. Occasionally she heard him mutter an answer to someone’s question but not once did he let his wife go. Further inward, she could hear increased chatter and commotion. Curiosity getting the better of her, she lifted her head, turning to the sound.

“What’s going on down there?”

“Now we’re locked in, people will be wanting to hear from Joseph,” John explained. 

Rey stepped back to look at him. “Joseph is here? I thought he had his own safe space?”

“He did,” John replied, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, “But this happened so quickly, he was closer to here. He’d never have made it to his compound on time.”

She looked around properly for the first time, trying to see any familiar faces. “Who else made it? Do you know? What about Earl...or Joey?!”

“My people are still taking names. Once everything has calmed down, we can see who is here and who isn’t,” He responded patiently, “How about I take you to our space and we’ll get you cleaned up? I think I prefer your beautiful face without blood all over it.”

In spite of it all, Rey smiled, leaning against him and letting him take the lead. She hadn’t noticed on arrival, her focus was obviously elsewhere, but the inside of the bunker looked very different from her last visit.

The slogans haphazardly painted on the walls were gone, painted over with bright neutral colours. The first rooms by the main stairs while still clearly being used for storage had been organised and as they walked the halls, Rey saw more and more personalised touches.

“If you go down to level 7 and 8, that’s where most of the engineering is. Generators and that kind of thing,” John explained, proudly giving her a short tour, “So we’ll be fine for electricity. Level 1,2 and 3 are for living. There’s a dining hall and kitchen, medical centre, a library…”

“This is...really impressive.” Rey replied, somewhat hollow, “It looked nothing like this when I was last here.”

John shrugged. “Maybe you’re a good influence. People have to  _ live _ here for at least 7 years, not just survive.”

They stopped at a door, John swiping a keycard on the panel next to it. The little light flashed from red to green and the heavy door opened. Tentatively, Rey followed him inside.

In comparison to the ranch, the living space wasn’t large, but he’d made sure it was well decorated. Shelves full of books lined the walls, comfortable sofas and plush carpet on the floor. An opening lead through to a bedroom with a large double bed and private bathroom. 

“And over there, that’s our private storage room.” he said pointing to another door, “Just some essentials for us to keep. I tried to have as much from home as I could get, I know it’s not perfect but I want us to try and make the best of it.” he added nervously as she explored their new living space.

“You...really went to a lot of trouble with this place,” she said, stopping to take a seat. John left the room, returning with a first aid kit in his hand. He sat opposite her, opening the box. “You must think I’m an idiot.”

John had opened a bottle of sterile saline and was pouring it into a gauze when he stopped, his brow furrowing as he frowned. “Why on earth would I think that?”

“Joseph had been warning us for years...and we didn’t believe him,” she said quietly. 

John held her chin gently, tipping her head to wipe away the dried blood from the cut on her face. “I have thought you many things, angel, but an idiot was never one of them.” he said, “This is a lot for anyone. I’d be lying if I said I had faith all of the time, but I followed the path I was meant to and I prepared as best I could. I suppose I believed for both of us.”

He examined her wound, making a tutting sound as he reached for the sterile strips. 

“Do you know if Faith and Jacob are alright?” she asked. John’s hand stalled before he started working on her cut, “They had as much warning as Joseph and I. I’m certain that they’re safe in their own bunkers.” He said, but his voice was worried, “Still, I’m thankful. We’re lucky to be alive, and we have each other.”

He had a point, but it was hard to grasp optimism when the world above them was burning away to ash. Things she took for granted, going to the diner for her morning coffee, driving around the countryside with Staci, watching the snow from their bedroom balcony. These were things she would never be able to do again. John inspected his work.

“There. Good as new,” he smiled, holding her face, his thumbs stroking her cheek, “I don’t expect you to be alright with this straight away. I do get it, I hope you know that.”

Rey was about to reply when a buzz made her jump. 

“It’s just the door,” John said, standing to open it. Joseph stood, a placid expression on his face. “Ah, I was wondering when you’d appear. Finished speaking to the people?” John asked, walking back to the sofa where Rey sat. Joseph nodded.

  
“I didn’t see you there?” he commented.

Even without the accusatory tone, John bristled. “I assumed you’d understand that I had to look after my wife.”

“Of course!” Joseph responded immediately, turning his attention to Rey, “I understand this must be a lot for you to take it. It’s a blessing that you were able to make it here safely.”

“Well some people didn’t,” Rey pointed out bitterly, “So if it’s all the same to you, I’m not ready for you to start telling me God's plan.”

“Okay,” John cut in quickly, “There’s a lot to process. Darling, why don’t you lie down for a while? I’m going to go with Joseph to take care of some things.”

With so much adrenaline pumping through her veins, it hadn’t occurred to her just how exhausted she was. Thinking of a soft mattress and welcoming sheets brought a sleepy smile to her face.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I will.”

00000

When she woke, Rey felt decidedly disorientated. 

The sheets she lay on smelt too new, lacking the comforting warmth of their bedroom. She rolled over, blinking up at the unfamiliar ceiling. A nearby lamp cast a warm, inoffensive light through the bedroom. She gingerly sat up, alone and able to finally gather her scattered thoughts.

John really had gone to great lengths to make their space as home-like as possible. Other than the lack of windows, you never could have guessed they were stuck underground. Rey rolled her shoulders and neck, standing from the bed to properly explore on her own. Drawers were filled with clothes, their bathroom already supplied with toiletries. A swell of love warmed her chest, bringing a smile to her face. Even knowing she didn’t believe, he’d gone to so much trouble for them. 

She experimentally turned a tap, clear water appearing. “Okay, running water. Good start,” she said to herself, splashing the blissfully cool water on her face. She’d remind herself to ask John more about the ins and outs of the utilities once her brain had caught up with their situation.

Emerging from the bathroom, Rey dressed in fresh clothes and pondered what time it was until she spotted a large digital clock on the wall in their living room. The numbers glowed red, the day and date underneath.

“Hmm. Helpful,” she muttered. Knowing the time and day was going to be essential for keeping a regular sleeping schedule but she should have known that John and his people already had that covered.

Where was John, anyway?

Venturing out into the halls, Rey could finally take stock of her surroundings. Signs told her what level they lived on, further directing her where to go. Like their own room, they’d made an effort to make it all as comfortable as possible. 

She absently wandered in the direction of the dining hall. At least that’s what the signs said. A familiar voice called her name as she stood trying to make sense of the arrows.

“Rey?” 

She turned to the man, a huge smile and tears of relief pooling in her eyes. “Oh my God, Marcus! I’m so glad to see you.”

An ‘oomph’ left him unbidden when her body collided with his, throwing her arms around him in a huge hug. He squeezed her back. “Praise to God that you made it,” he smiled, “John was beside himself with worry waiting for you.”

Rey pulled back. “Is your family…”

“Safe? Oh yes, we’re all here!” he assured her, “Where are you headed now?”

Rey shrugged. “I don’t really know. It’s been so crazy. Do you know where John is?”

“I do!” he declared, “I’ll take you to him and I can give you a tour while we’re at it, answer any questions? I’m sure you’ve got lots.”

The sense of reassurance was overwhelming. It was as if muscles in her body she didn’t know were tense could finally relax because if Marcus and his family were alright, then maybe some of her other friends made it too.

So they walked together. Marcus explained the lighting, how each light was designed to mimic the day and worked on cycles so people could build their own routine. He elaborated on the different levels and facilities they’d included. John had already told her a lot but now Rey felt able to concentrate. 

The dining hall was one of the biggest rooms she’d seen yet. Instead of the picnic benches she’d anticipated, there were round tables with chairs. A large kitchen filled with people was preparing food, laying it out for people to take what they wanted. Peggies and Hope County residents alike were sitting together with their meals, all talking, connecting. Rey smiled.

In a far corner, there was a different table that hosted Joseph and John. Seeing her approach, John jumped to his feet.

“Hey! I thought you were still sleeping,” he said apologetically, “Are you hungry?”

“I could eat,” she admitted, feeling guided to a seat at their table. The food did smell delicious, her stomach grumbling in agreement. “Do we know who else made it?” 

“So far I know that Pastor Jerome, Adelaide Drubman and Jessica Black made it here. Grace Armstrong too,” John said, “and...Charlemagne Boshaw.” He grumbled reluctantly. 

“Is that all?” Rey sighed, “Mary May? Earl?” She was thrilled some of her friends had made it, but she still worried about the others.

John shook his head sadly. “We haven’t registered them yet but you never know or they might have escaped to other bunkers? As far as I know, a lot of people had a lot of stashes here. They might still be safe.”

Rey nodded, picking up her fork to move food around her plate. “Don’t suppose you can radio the other bunkers and ask?”

John shook his head again. “No radio signals. No communication. Best we have are the cameras to the outside. I’m sorry, Angel.” He apologised, brushing some hair from her face.

She scanned the room again, watching all the people who had made it. Each person was just happy to be alive, making the best of their new living situation. John took his seat next to her.

“So what happens now?” She asked quietly, “Do we just survive?” 

John shook his head. “We’re going to live.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Pratt. Sorry, buddy!


	21. Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey liked to say that her daughter was a troublemaker from the moment she was born. John was inclined to agree.
> 
> Rey and John welcome Violet to their world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Takes place after the collapse when they're living in the bunker. A year and 9 months in the bunker to be exact!
> 
> Chapter warnings: Pregnancy, traumatic birth, awkward Joseph.

There were a lot of things that Rey missed.

Being able to look down and see her own feet was only one thing. Coming up to full term, the so-called magic of being pregnant had long lost its charm. Taking long deep breaths, Rey waddled her way down the halls, determined to keep as active as possible and gain a minute's peace.

John had always been protective, but from the moment she told him she was pregnant, he had barely left her side. Like a guard dog, he glowered at anyone who dared get closer than he liked. 

The final straw had been the day John threatened to kill someone who had knocked Rey over in the dining hall. It was early in her pregnancy, she was barely showing and It had been an accident. Rey was certain that she was more to blame than the poor man who had found his body pinned against the wall. John, being himself, wasn’t feeling rational.

She’d grabbed his hand, pulling him somewhere private.

“John, I love you, but enough is enough!” She stressed, “You have  _ got  _ to calm down. You cannot go around threatening the people we live with!”

Expecting an argument, Rey was caught off guard when he pouted at her with round, fearful eyes. “I’m just trying to take care of you...both of you. That’s my job now.”

Her expression softened, any anger dissipating when she saw the turmoil behind his eyes. What did John know about being a father? His role models had been abusive, cruel, and suddenly she realised that he wasn’t just being his over the top self. 

He was terrified.

And truthfully so was she. From that moment Rey had gone a little easier on him and John had agreed to pull back his more extreme moods for the most part.

“Good morning, honey pie!” Adelaide grinned cheerfully at Rey as she slowly walked into the common space, “How’s the mama to be?”

“Not outstanding,” Rey grunted, breathless as she sat herself down. 

Adelaide looked her up and down with a concerned expression, “You look a little flushed.” She commented, leaning forward to feel Rey’s forehead, “And you feel it too!”

“I’ve had a headache all morning.” She complained, “Lower back pain. The works.”

“I assume you haven’t told-”

“No,” Rey interrupted, “You know how he is. I don’t want to worry him. My last check-up they mentioned something about high blood pressure and resting. He’s been relentless since.”

“He loves you,” Adelaide reminded her with a song in her voice, “I only wish my ex had been half as bothered about me when I was pregnant with Hurk!”

“I know,” Rey smiled, rubbing her swollen belly, “We’re very lucky.”

Hanging out with Adelaide was all she had planned for the day. The older woman had a wealth of practical knowledge on being pregnant and gave her much needed respite when everyone was fawning over her. When her other friends were treating her like she was breakable, Addy never treated her any differently.

They’d been sitting happily in their own world, Adelaide sharing her latest bunker gossip when a strange aching pain took hold. Rey hissed, holding her stomach as she stilled to feel out what was happening in her body.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” Adelaide asked warily. 

Rey nodded, taking deep steadying breaths through her nose. “Yeah...yeah, I think it’s just Braxton hicks.” At least that’s what she was telling herself, but she’d never felt false contractions like this before.

She winced again, hissing between her teeth as a sudden, sharp pressure broke around her lower body.

“Oh...OH!” She growled, “Okay. Something feels damp...that’s new.”

“I think it’s showtime, honey!” Adelaide smiled, jumping up from her seat, “And that means Jerome owes me a case of beer for winning the baby pool!”

“I’m very happy for you,” Rey grumbled, “Fuck, okay...this feels weird.”

“It’s going to be just fine,” the older woman assured her, “Come on, we’re going to get you to medical and we’ll get John…”

“No! Not yet, I don’t want him to worry. You know how he gets!” Rey pleaded, her eyes turning pink with unshed tears.

Adelaide knew all too well how the Baptist could be when it came to Rey but if he found out that something had happened and nobody had informed him right away? Adelaide didn’t want to be in front of that, potentially literal, firing squad. 

She bent down in front of Rey, making sure she was in her eye line, taking hold of her hands. “Rey, baby, I know you’re scared. I get it, first time kids are scary as fuck! I also know that even though you don’t want him to worry, you want John with you.”

The unshed tears finally spilt over Rey’s lashes, leaving silvery trails down her cheeks. It was true. All she really wanted was for her husband to hold her hand and tell her that everything would be fine. She winced again and Adelaide nodded sternly.

“Alright, we’re going to medical!”

00000

She’d been taken to a bed the second she’d arrived, Adelaide supporting her and screaming for people to move out of the way if they knew what was good for them as they’d struggled down the halls.

“And for the love of all that is holy, someone go and get John!” she’d yelled. Any other time, Rey would have told her to calm down, her screaming only adding to the anxiety of the situation, but really someone having a sense of urgency was welcome.

She changed into a hospital gown and lay back on the bed, trying to breathe through the stinging pressure that was building in her body.

“Alright Rey, you’re only dilated 3 centimetres at the moment,” her doctor confirmed, “You’ve got a little while to go yet. Try and get comfortable, keep hydrated and rest if you can.

Rey groaned, her head tipping back against her pillows. It was all well and good, the doctor telling her to rest, but how could she ignore the way her insides felt like they were being twisted and stretched. She gripped her stomach, willing her unborn baby to settle.

“Alright, John should be here any minute so can I get you anything?” Adelaide asked, “Water? Ice?”

“Valium?” Rey suggested. 

Adelaide shot her a smile. “Any other time sweetie, I’d have been all for it. Sit tight. Maybe they’ll be able to give you some of that gas and air later?”

“Sounds nice,” Rey drawled, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath through her nose, letting the air fill her body and calm her nerves.

The peace was broken seconds later when John came crashing into the room, almost skidding into one of his medical staff. “Rey?! Where is she? Is the baby here?!” he panted, gasping for breath from his run through the bunker.

“Calm down! The last thing we need is for you to have a damn heart attack,” Adelaide scolded. 

John ignored her comment, going to his wife’s side in a couple of steps. He pulled her into his arms, pressing kisses to her temple and hair repeatedly.

“It’s okay. I made it, I’m here.” he crooned, adjusting himself onto the bed behind her. She settled against his chest, taking comfort in the scent of his recognisable cologne until she winced, grabbing his hands tightly.

“Fuck. Okay, this hurts,” she growled as the contraction washed over her, holding his hand so tightly he could have sworn he felt his knuckle crunch. “Is it supposed to hurt so much?”

John had no answer for her. All he could do was mutter vaguely comforting words while he tried to calm his own fraying nerves.

00000

Hours passed.

8 of them to be exact. Rey knew this because she had felt every uncomfortable minute. The same pressure and cramping pains continued but she had very little to show for her suffering past clammy, flushed skin. A monitor was wrapped around her stomach, the steady, intermittent beeping filling the room.

“Your blood pressure is higher than I’d like but the good news is the baby’s heartbeat is nice and strong,” the doctor told them, “Things are progressing just slower than usual.”

Joseph had arrived and John was beginning to go out of his mind with worry, but for her sake, he hid it well. Those blissful, carnal moments didn’t seem worth it now she was lying there and he was helpless to do anything except hold her hand. She was snarling with pain, pale except for the hot pink of her flushed cheeks, her body covered in sweat from the strain.

He breathed deeply, jaw clenched, ignoring the pain she was putting his hand through every time a contraction started. She grunted through gritted teeth before collapsing back against him and the plumped pillows, exhausted. 

When the 10th hour hit and she was advised to try and sleep, it was not met well.

“You know what? Fuck you! Unless you’re going to give me something that will make me numb from the eyebrows down, that’s not going to happen!” She shouted viciously. 

John didn’t even try to hide his laugh, the doctor leaving quickly while muttering about finding some Entonox. She’d apologize later when she wasn’t in so much pain.

Taking pity on him, Adelaide pulled him outside into the hall. “Alright, how are you holding up, Dad-to-be?” She asked. 

John scowled, pushing his hair back. “I just fucking hate this. I’ve never felt more useless, I can’t do anything!”

Joseph has joined them, placing a comforting hand on his younger brother's shoulder. “God would not give you this responsibility if you couldn’t handle it. You’re about to become a father, a pivotal role…”

“Joseph, with all due respect, that is not helping me right now.”

“Move.” Adelaide snapped, stepping in, “It might not seem like it, but just being there and holding her hand is the best thing you can do right now. She needs you to stay nice and calm, can you do that?”

John snorted. He felt far from calm but if holding her hand was what he needed to do, that’s what he was going to do. 

00000

“Why isn’t anything happening?” John snarled, the doctor in front of him quivering under the Baptist's relentless stare.

15 hours and Rey still had made little progress despite multiple checks. She was in more pain than John could stand and eventually he had torn himself away from her side to demand answers. 

The doctor had barely opened his mouth to speak when the machine began to emit a high pitched wail. Everyone turned to the bed where Rey had slumped back, pale and unresponsive. 

“Rey?! Rey, come on angel, wake up...don’t do this to me…” John begged, grabbing her face in his hands, trying to force her to look at him. 

All around him medical staff were swarming the bed, attempting to work until he felt a strong arm pull him back.

“You have to let them work, John,” Joseph said patiently, “They’ll help her.”

“But I...she’s not moving…” he babbled, trying to look past his brother to the chaos at the table. Someone had pulled a curtain across, obscuring his view further.

He could just make out words like ‘bleeding’ and ‘section’, none of which sounded positive. His stomach lurched, a thick lump forming in his throat as fear constricted his chest. Joseph placed his hands on John’s shoulders.

“She’s in God’s hands now.”

John’s head snapped to Joseph, staring at the middle Seed with ice-cold eyes, his telltale twitch under his left eye, “Joseph,” he growled, seconds away from breaking, “Can you just knock off this fucking messiah shit for once? I don’t need a preacher or a lecture about faith. I need my fucking brother!” he shouted, his voice cracking.

Joseph searched John’s face. His lip trembled, eyes growing red as he swallowed back his fears. Suddenly John felt himself pulled in, crushed against his brother’s chest, Joseph’s arms tightly around him the same way he would when they were children. He sagged into the embrace, closing his eyes. A rough kiss was pressed against his temple.

“She’ll be fine, brother,” Joseph promised, rubbing his younger brothers back trying to bring some comfort, “I promise you’ll have your family.”

A noise broke out over the sound of the commotion. A beautiful, broken wail of a newborn. John took a deep, shuddering breath, stepping back from his brother. Moments later, someone emerged from behind the curtain holding a bundle in a blanket.

“Congratulations, you’ve got a healthy baby girl.” the woman smiled. 

John accepted the baby with trembling arms, holding her against his body as he stared down at her in awe. A tiny crop of dark hair poked out from under the blanket, little arms trying to wriggle free. She blinked up at him with unfocused blue eyes. The world titled for him, his only focus on his new daughter as his eyes stung. 

“You are going to be so loved,” he whispered to the little pink infant, still staring at him. 

“She’s beautiful, John.” Joseph smiled behind him. For a moment, John had completely forgotten his surroundings. “I think she’s going to take after her mother.”

“Thank God for that!” John snorted, the smile falling, “Rey…”

The commotion by her bed had calmed, the sounds of machines returning to a gentle rhythm but his gut twisted uncomfortably when he realised she wasn’t moving. He swallowed hard, his mouth dry, despite the doctor looking positive as he approached.

“During the course of labour, there was some internal bleeding we hadn’t accounted for,” he explained cautiously, “The good news is, we were able to catch it in time. We’ve given Rey some fresh blood and her vitals look great. She should wake up when the anaesthetic we gave her wears off.”

He almost sagged with relief, his muscles relaxing. “Can I see her?”

“Of course!”

He followed the doctor back to her bed, accepting the chair that was pulled up for him. Reluctantly, he relinquished his daughter, the medical staff insisting that she needed to be taken for some health checks and to have her details registered. He agreed, but his arms felt empty and strange as he sat down. 

Rey looked peaceful, colour already returning to her face. That was a good sign, he thought, but what did he know? He reached out and took her hand, pressing a kiss to the knuckles.

“You’ve never done things by half,” he sighed, “She’s perfect, Rey. She’s got our hair and your nose and my eyes and she’s just...perfect.”

Rey remained unresponsive and he frowned. It wasn’t fair. It should have been her holding their daughter for the first time, not him. He brushed some hair from her forehead.

“Wake up soon, angel. You should be here for this.”

00000

“Come brothers and come sisters, come weary and come strong...come meet the man who reaps the land on which we walk upon…”

The singing voice was familiar as she came to. Her eyes were heavy, still a little foggy from anaesthetic and painkillers, but when her vision cleared, she promised the site ahead of her would stay in her memories until the day she died.

John was pacing at the end of her bed, their baby in his arms being bounced gently, his voice gently singing to her. 

“Oh John, bold and brave…”

“John? Are you singing your own song?”

He turned, his face lighting up. “You’re awake!” he grinned, “There’s someone who has been dying to meet you.”

Carefully he passed their daughter into her mother’s arms, Rey just as transfixed as John had been. “Holy shit...she’s perfect.”

“That’s what I said,” he smiled, perching next to her on the bed and kissing her gently, “She still needs a name.”

“What about Hope?” she suggested. John looked thoughtful before he scrunched his nose, shaking his head.

“Too close to Faith. I don’t need two of them in my life,” he replied, “I vaguely remember you suggesting some kind of flower…”

“Rose?”

“...No.”

“Daisy?”

“Nope.”

“Poppy?”

“Definitely not.”

“Violet?” 

John smiled, looking down at his daughter. “Violet. She looks like a Violet.” he decided. Rey nodded.

“I think she looks like a Violet too.” she smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to the baby’s head, “Hello, Violet.”

Someone cleared their throat from behind the curtain, John telling whoever it was that it was fine to join them. Joseph appeared apprehensively. 

“Rey, a doctor told me you were awake. I just wanted to visit and express my congratulations to you. I’m glad you’re well.” he said fondly. 

“Thank you, Joseph. Would you like to hold her?” Rey asked. 

Joseph suddenly turned pale, his mouth flapping as he tried to find a way to politely say no. Before he could protest, John was already standing, carefully picking up Violet to pass to her Uncle.

“Oh, no...that’s quite alright!”

“Nonsense. After all, Joseph, being an Uncle is a pivotal role,” John smirked, throwing back The Father’s earlier words. 

Violet was awkwardly handed to him, the poor baby held in his large hands like a football. “Watch her head!” Rey winced. Even knowing that John was right there, she’d never seen Joseph so uncomfortable.

“She’s...beautiful,” he said shortly, panic in his eyes when Violet began to fuss, “And clearly wanting her mother!”

John sniggered, taking his daughter back from Joseph. The Father repeated his good wishes, dismissing himself as quickly as he could.

“That wasn’t nice.” Rey chastised, “You never did answer me before, were you singing your own song?”

“Maybe…”

“Don’t I get a song?” Rey asked, “I’m the one that gave birth to her. I really feel that’s at least worth a song…”

John chuckled, kissing his wife on the forehead.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Joe and he will always be my awkward comic relief. I have two moods: dramatic as fuck or Hope County: The Sit-Rom-Com. There is no in-between apparently!


	22. Jacob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Eden's Gate and Hope County were ready to make peace, John wants Rey to meet his family properly. 
> 
> Having met with Faith and Joseph individually, she only has the eldest Seed to go and she's not looking forward to it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set after the Lumbermill fire, just before Rey and John get married and the peace talks start.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Poor John getting a little fright

“You are such a fucking hypocrite.”

Rey glared at herself in the bathroom mirror. As forgiving as her nature was, she could already feel how much of a test the day was going to be. She grabbed her hairbrush, angry movements pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

It started just after John proposed. The next day he’d come to her with a sincere request. “I want you to meet my family.”

“I’ve met your family,” Rey replied, “They’re...swell.”

John levelled her with a serious look. “I mean it. I love you, we’re getting married. I love my family too, I don’t want things to feel uncomfortable given the circumstances.” he took her hands, imploring her to listen to him, “Please? For me?”

He had a point. How could she expect the whole county to make peace with them if she wasn’t willing to? Truthfully, when he’d proposed, it wasn’t a factor she’d taken into consideration.

“Alright,” she agreed, “But I don’t want to do it as one big thing. That would feel uncomfortable as hell.”

She started with Faith Seed, John’s adopted sister. Without the bliss production and the ‘angels’, Rey found that she actually liked Faith more than she’d expected. She discovered her real name was Rachel and her parents had owned the Jessop conservatory but the rest of her story seemed a little muddled to Rey. Faith had mentioned her previous friendship with Tracey but the reason for them no longer speaking seemed more than simply a difference of opinion. Rey decided not to pry, intent on getting along with John’s sister more than harassing the truth from her.

Joseph had been a different story. She wasn’t afraid of him, but a man who could hold that much influence over people wasn’t someone to take lightly. Her time with Joseph was far more reserved than with Faith, sitting across from each other at a table outside the ranch in silence while John made himself scarce.

Joseph politely sipped at his coffee, regarding Rey curiously through the tint of his glasses until she finally spoke. 

“I’m just going to say it. This is fucking weird,” she declared bluntly. 

For the first time, she saw Joseph smile. “Why do you say that?”

“Because only a few months ago I was slapping handcuffs on you,” she shrugged, picking up her own drink, “Now...I’m marrying your brother.”

“When you put it like that…”

After some awkward pauses, slowly they’d begun to speak. He came across to her as a troubled man more than a sociopath, someone who used his religious faith as a crutch for his childhood traumas. But mainly, she could see the love for his family, for John and that was something they both had in common.

Jacob was a different story.

She’d forgiven John, to a point. Made amends with Faith and Joseph but for some reason, something was stopping her when it came to the eldest seed. Thinking of what he did made her see red, seething anger making her sick to her stomach. The way he’d treated people like animals, locking them in cages, starving them, experimenting on them.

The others had been just as cruel in their own ways, but to her, Jacob seemed so much worse. She knew it held no logic and the frustration of knowing but being unable to move past it was why she’d been giving herself abuse in the bathroom mirror.

She’d chosen the table on the decking at the front of the ranch. When she’d felt unsure about meeting with Joseph, it helped to be close to home, knowing John was just inside. It was nice knowing she had the same reassurance. She sat at the table alone, her fingers drumming a random beat on the wood as birds sang around her.

When an SUV appeared from the path, she straightened, her heart beating a little faster. Jacob emerged, just as statuesque and intimidating as she remembered. He scanned his surroundings, smiling when his eyes settled on her. Rey did not return his smile.

“Beautiful morning,” Jacob began politely, “Got to watch the sunrise on the drive over. Some view.”

“I’ll bet.” Rey replied stiffly, “How are you?”

Her words felt uncomfortable and insincere. Approaching the table, Jacob sat opposite her with a knowing smile on his face.

“You don’t care how I am.” He declared, “I can see it on your face.”

“That’s not-“

“You don’t like me,” he concluded causally, “And that’s okay. I’d be very surprised if you did.”

Rey closed her mouth. There wasn’t any point in protesting. Jacob wasn’t an idiot and he could read people better than anyone she knew. Lying just to avoid confrontation wouldn’t solve anything.

“No, I don’t.” She agreed, “And...I’m struggling with that because John loves you, but he clearly knows a different man.”

“What makes you say that?” Jacob asked curiously. 

Rey scowled. “You kept people in cages like animals. Starved them, tortured them and for what? The idea that only the strong should be given the chance to survive? Jacob, that’s fucking sick!”

Jacob sat back in the wooden chair regarding her thoughtfully. He tapped his scarred hand on the table, suddenly nodding.

“Let’s go for a walk.” He stood from the table, Rey’s brows jumping with surprise, her eyes following him. 

“What?”

“A walk,” he repeated, “I think we should go for a walk.”

“Where?”

“Just down the airstrip.” He said, nodding towards the flat expanse of land, “I think these talks are always more productive with a little motion.”

“Uh, okay.”

Rey stood, the height difference more obvious when she began to walk alongside him. Boots crunched on the dusty land, the sun shining across the Valley.

“I am sorry, you know.” He said suddenly. 

Rey was sure she’d misheard him. “For what?”

“The fire. I can see that things had gone too far,” he confirmed, “You’re very brave though. Going back to save the life of the enemy. It takes a certain person to do that.”

Rey smiled softly thinking of Marcus, the man she’d saved. “I didn’t see an enemy. I just saw a terrified man who didn’t want to die. I couldn’t have left him there.”

“Yes, you could. Survival of the fittest,” Jacob replied as they walked together, the ‘YES’ sign along the side of the airstrip ahead of them, “He wasn’t strong enough to fight out on his own.”

Rey stopped, Jacob walking a few steps ahead before he turned. “You...are you fucking serious? His legs were trapped! There was no way he could have survived without help!”

“I’m just wondering what it was that made  _ you _ override your own survival instincts for the good of someone else, that’s all,” He pondered, “Everyone has their own...trigger, so to speak.”

“I don’t understand-”

Jacob began walking again, Rey taking larger steps to catch up with his long legs. “When we were kids, Johnny and Joe both looked to me for protection. I fought our parents all the time, just to keep them safe because they’re my brothers. In the army, it was the same mentality. Never leave a man behind...because they were my brothers,” He explained, sticking his hands into his pockets, “But there comes a time when you realise that it can’t be that way. Sometimes nature needs to take its course…”

“It wasn’t nature that started that fire!” Rey spat, “It was your fucking air support! I’m sorry, I’m not like you...I don’t see people that way.” She sighed, rubbing her face with frustration. They were going round in circles. “I just...I want to get along with you, Jacob. I really do but...I’m still so angry with you!”

Jacob nodded calmly. “That’s fair.”

Rey stopped walking again. “Is that  _ really _ all you can say?!”

Jacob stopped, snorting his own sigh. “What else do you want me to say? Should I lie and tell you that I’m sorry for how I see the world? At least I’m honest.”

“I don’t know!” Rey shouted, “I don’t know what I want you to say or do but I just can’t push past this feeling of...of…”

“Of what?” Jacob pushed, “Go on. Say it.”

“Hate!” Rey snarled, “I fucking  _ hate _ what you did...and this calm attitude of yours is just making it worse.”

Jacob looked thoughtful but a frown began to settle, his eyebrow raised. “Did you expect me on my knees begging forgiveness? Do you want tears? Is that what remorse looks like to you?”

“I don’t  _ know _ !” Rey growled, “We’re going in circles here.”

“Let me ask you this, do you think John didn’t want to do those things?” Jacob asked, “Faith would do anything that Joe wanted, but John? When Joseph found him, he was so angry and bitter. He took those feelings out on those people-”

“Shut up!”

“You can forgive him, forgive Joseph but not me?” Jacob pressed, “That’s hypocrisy, sweetheart!”

Rey took a deep breath, closing her eyes and rolling her tense shoulders. He was right and she hated it. Jacob tutted, releasing a humourless laugh.

“For what it’s worth, and it might not make anything better, but everything I did? I did it because I love my family,” he explained, “I did it to protect them from whatever Joseph thinks is coming. I’m not sure I believe it’s an act of God, but I believe in Joe and I believe in family. John loves you, his whole crusade to get us to make peace happened  _ because _ of you. That makes you...part of my family.”

Her eyes moved, searching his face for any sign of dishonesty but he was open, as he always was. She remained silent, letting his words really sink in as they began to walk again, slowly wandering towards the end of the airstrip. Jacob didn’t say anything further nor did he push her to reply and for that she was grateful.

After minutes of silence, Rey finally spoke. “Maybe...we should focus more on what we have in common,” she suggested, “If the county is going to try and be peaceful with Eden’s Gate, nobody is going to be able to cling onto the past.”

“Wise words.” Jacob agreed, “Tell me about yourself.”

“I’m sure you know enough already,” Rey scoffed, but Jacob shook his head.

“Maybe. But I’d like to hear it from you.”

It was the story she’d told a million times over, her feelings on her experiences steadfast, but Jacob listened intently and offered no opinion or input until it was clear she was finished. In turn, Rey asked for his story, giving him the same respect. Listening to him talk about their childhood, how he looked after John and Joseph, had her slowly softening. By the time he explained his time in the army, she’d begun to see him the same way she’d seen Joseph and to an extent John. 

Each of them was troubled in their own way. It didn’t excuse their actions, but it did offer some kind of explanation.

“So, you and John? Not that I want to know dirty details but how did that happen?” Jacob asked. 

“You know, I’m not sure.” She said honestly, “Before everything went to hell we’d always had this...chemistry. I guess you can’t help who you fall for.”

“And now you guys are getting married,” Jacob sniggered, “Regular fucking fairytale.”

“What? You never fell for someone after they tried to drown you?” Rey asked sarcastically, “You should try it sometime. It’s hot.”

“What you and my little brother do in your private time is none of my business!” He laughed, “But I’ll tell you this, I’ve never seen him so happy.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah!” Jacob insisted. They’d almost done a full lap of the property three times over, the ranch coming back into view, “He’s...calm. That’s the thing I noticed. When I met John again as an adult he was so angry with the world, he just wanted to see everything burn. But then he met you. He thought we didn’t know, we totally did. He became...calm.”

“John? Calm?” Rey smirked, “You guys really knew?”

“As calm as John can be!” Jacob elaborated, “Faith and I knew. I think the only one who didn’t know for sure was Joseph. He’d assumed when John went to him asking forgiveness that it was a one-time thing...and you were never mentioned by name.”

Rey remembered their argument well. After weeks of secret meetings and confusion, he’d ghosted her, only to return out of the blue. He’d been to Joseph to confess his sins, to try and relieve his holy guilt. That felt like a lifetime ago.

“Maybe Joseph did know and he just didn’t want to admit it to himself,” Jacob continued, “Who knows. The point is you make him happy,”

“Thanks, Jacob,” Rey smiled, “That’s really nice to hear, actually.”

The silence between them felt less tense than before, the air between them a little more clear. She still didn’t agree with him. Anger still burned beneath the surface over his actions, but then could she really say any different for his siblings? No. She refused to carry the burden of anger anymore. It wasn’t worth her energy.

“You know, I’ve heard you’re a pretty good shot,” Jacob commented as they approached the ranch, “I’ve got something new in the back of my truck that I think you’d like to try out. How about a little target practice?” 

Rey smiled.

00000

“Holy shit!”

The sound of a gunshot so close to his office window caused John’s hand to jump, the document he’d been ready to sign ruined by the pen striking through just as he was ready to sign. He cursed, confused and scowling as he made his way out of the main building to the back of the property.

“Christ, what if she shot him?” He muttered to himself, pushing back the longer strands of stray hair.

Rey was pointing a desert eagle at a target, a huge smile on her face as she lowered the weapon.

“That’s got some kick!” she exclaimed. 

Jacob nodded. “I did tell you. It’s a powerful fucker. You really need to set your shoulders or it’ll fly back and hit you right between the eyes!”

“What are you two doing?!”

Rey and Jacob turned around to look at John, the youngest Seed glaring at them as he waited for an answer. Rey took the magazine from the gun.

“Jacob was just showing me his new gun,” Rey grinned, “It’s awesome. I kinda want one!”

“I’ll speak to the boys in the armoury,” Jacob said, “See about sending you one down.”

John looked between the two of them curiously. “So, how are you two getting along then?” he asked cautiously. 

Rey looked at Jacob before she turned back to John. “I think we had a good talk,” she concluded.

“Great,” John smiled, “That’s great. Jake, are you staying for dinner?”

Jacob shook his head. “No, I need to get back to Whitetail, but thanks. Rey, good talk.”

She handed him back his gun, John coming to her side as they walked Jacob back to his SUV, waving him off for his journey. The couple stood together on the deck in the dying light, John’s arm casually slung around her neck.

“You’re still angry, aren’t you?”

“I am.” 

John kissed her temple. “But…”

“But things will get easier.”


	23. Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With their relationship newly declared but still secret, Rey decides that taking a stroll in a dark forest is the perfect 'Date' since they can't go out in public.
> 
> John thinks otherwise and a rogue tree proves him correct.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict. Rey and John have confirmed they want to be together but their relationship is still very much a secret.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Trees.

“Holy shit, what happened to your face?!”

There was nothing like that question being thrown the minute she walked into the station to make Rey realize that, yes, the bruising on her face was very noticeable. She grumbled her good morning, throwing her jacket over the back of a chair as Joey stared at her in horror.

“It’s not that bad, is it?” Rey winced when Joey nodded, the other woman’s eyes were still wide at her friend.

“Uh. Yes! It looks like someone took a baseball bat to you!” Joey gasped, “What happened?”

**_4 days earlier_ **

“I think we should go for a walk.” 

From where her head was resting on his bare chest, Rey could feel John’s chin move as he tried to glance down at her. She didn’t need to see his face to know he was frowning. 

“You want to go for a walk?” he repeated, “Now? It’s dark out.”

Rey sat up, leaning on her hands to look down at his delightfully disheveled form. His hair sat messily, his eyes sated and dozy as he pouted his displeasure at her idea.

“Come on, it’s so warm and it’s a beautiful night,” she said gesturing to the skylight, “See? Look at those stars!”

“You know if you just lie back down you can see those stars from here,” he pointed out, trying to pull her back down, “In bed. With me. Where neither of us has to get dressed.”

His force was a little more insistent, pressing kisses to her bare shoulder, her neck. She giggled as his teeth nipped at her ear having almost pulled her back to the pillows. Despite being warm and comfortable, she resisted.

“This is all we do,” she sighed, “I come over and we hide in this room.”

“Yes, and it’s working really well, don’t you think?” he grinned, groaning when Rey rolled herself out of the bed.

John watched her naked body, propping his head upon his hand to get a good view and pouting further when she pulled on her underwear. Rey stuck her tongue on, picking up his shirt to hit him in the face.

“Let’s go. It’ll be nice, like an actual date. We can get some fresh air,” she said, “and  _ you _ can cool off a little bit.”

John pushed himself out of the bed, pulling on his jeans before he approached her from behind, lightly biting the junction between her neck and shoulder. “I don’t recall you complaining,” he smirked, “If the scratches down my back are anything to go by, I’d say you enjoy our little arrangement.”

“Still just an arrangement, is it?” Rey quipped, “Well if  _ that’s _ all it is I guess I’ll just go…”

Her dramatic exit was foiled by John pulling her back to him by the arm, crushing her against his bare chest. He kissed her breathless, a hand cupping the back of her head, tangling in her hair. When pulled away, she looked more than a little dazed, smiling bashfully.

“I’ll get dressed and we’ll go that walk.”

The warm breeze stirred the sweet smell of earth and grass as they walked together in companionable silence. It couldn’t have been earlier than one in the morning, a full mood casting its pale glow on an otherwise pitch landscape.

As they approached the edge of the trees, John began to slow.

“What’s wrong?” Rey asked.

John stared at the forest in front of him. “I don’t think this is wise.”

“Why not? It’s a nice night.”

“Because there’s limited visibility and wild animals live in there?” John suggested, still eyeballing the space warily. 

“Oh my God, you’re such a city boy!” Rey laughed, tugging him by the hand into the murky trees, “It’ll be fine and more importantly, private!”

“City boy? Oh, because you came from that quaint small town of New York?” he sniggered.

“Out of the two of us, who has taken to country life better. Hmm?” She questioned, smiling in the dark.

“I’ve been here longer than you.”

“Doesn’t matter. I go hiking, I go hunting…”

“I’ve been hunting!” John cried indignantly. 

Rey let go of his hand, pushing him away lightly. “Oh yeah? How long do you think it would take to hunt me down?” She asked playfully. 

Moonlight streamed through the tree canopy, illuminating streaks of her face. John could barely make out her mischievous grin but he could hear the laugh in her voice.

“I think you know I could hunt you down anywhere, angel,” John growled with a smile, “Don’t test me. You’ll pay for it!”

“Come on then, Johnny boy!” Rey goaded, “Prove it. Hunt me down!” she laughed, skipping off into the woods.

He could hear her laughing but his surroundings were so dark, he’d already lost sight of her. Taking off on foot, he ran after her, carefully picking up his feet so he didn’t skid and fall.

“Keep up. You’re lagging!” she shouted back, knowing he could hear her but if he was far enough away, barely see her. She suddenly darted to the left to change her trajectory. 

“I swear when I catch you I’m going to make you eat those words!” She could hear him panting between his words, just loud enough to gauge his distance before she set off running again.

She sprinted through the dark, dodging and weaving until she could barely hear him anymore, glancing over her shoulder to make sure she hadn’t gotten herself completely lost. John was a shadow in the distance.

“Told you you couldn’t catch-”

So concerned with how far behind John was, Rey barely had time to react to the silhouette of the pine tree in front of her. She tried to stop but it was too late. The sound of her body hitting the trunk made a strange dull thud followed by a crunch when she fell back onto the forest floor.

“Oh my God, Rey, are you alright?!” 

John would have sounded more sincere if his voice hadn’t wobbled so much with laughter. Groaning, Rey sat up, rubbing the tender spot where her forehead had met bark. Already a huge lump had begun to form. John skidded to a stop next to her, breathing hard but still making a strange, choking sound as he tried not to fall apart. 

“It came out of nowhere!” Rey whined, her head spinning. 

John bent down next to her, his lips still trembling as he inspected her head. “Yeah, I’ve heard trees jump out at people in the dark,” he teased, “I can’t get a good look at this here. Can you walk?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Rey mumbled, allowing John to help her to her feet. 

Her arm linked in his, they walked back towards the house slowly. She could feel his shoulders trembling as he chuckled under his breath.

“So, as far as dates go-”

“Shut up.”

00000

Back in the safety of the ranch, John had sat Rey on one of the stools of his kitchen breakfast bar. He handed her an ice pack, inspecting her face with an amused smile.

“That is some bump,” he commented, “I think you’ll have some serious bruising. You might even be a little concussed.”

“Yes, because that would explain why you’re still  _ laughing _ !” Rey hissed, wincing when her own sharp tone caused a throbbing sensation in her forehead. 

“I just think it’s funny that the famed Deputy Jackson, the scourge of The Father and Eden’s gate, a hero of the people of Hope County was finally taken down...by a tree!” he said, his sentence trailing off into deep laughter.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up,” Rey grumbled, “When I’m better I’m taking this out on your silos anyway.”

“You’re grumpy when you’ve been assaulted by timber,” John smirked, “I’m sure you’ll be fine but maybe stay here for a day or so, just so I can keep an eye on you.”

Rey blinked at him suspiciously. Sure they’d both been honest about wanting to be together and their relationship was turning into something more than a casual fling, but still, the gesture seemed very...domestic. It wasn’t a side of John she’d seen much of. 

“Really? Why? I’m sure I’ll live.” she shrugged, pressing the ice pack to her face.

“Because I love you and I don’t want you to die?”

Rey dropped the ice pack, John standing in front of her with wide eyes completely frozen.

“What?”

“What?”

“Did you just say you love me?” Rey asked, staring at him open-mouthed.

John looked flustered, fighting to find something smooth to say until he simply stopped. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he answered her.

“I love you,” he said honestly, “I do. I love you.”

The ice pack was numbing her fingers. She dropped it on the counter, standing on shaky legs to close the gap between them.

“I love you too!” she smiled, throwing her arms around his neck to kiss him enthusiastically. Her smile morphed into a frown, holding his shoulders a little tighter. “I feel dizzy...and kinda sick.”

John sighed, smoothing some hair from her face. “Alright, you beautiful little idiot, let’s get you to bed!”

**Present**

“3 of them got the jump on you? Those bastards!”

Joey was shaking her head in disgust at Rey’s story. 

“Yeah, but it’s alright,” Rey replied casually, “The black eyes are just from the swelling. It’ll go away.”

“Well, I hope you taught them a lesson!” Joey snarled, “Fucking peggies!”

Rey laughed awkwardly, wishing that Joey would just drop the subject. It was a tall order. She’d walked into the station with raccoon eyes and what was left of a goose egg-sized bump from blunt force trauma. She was ready to settle herself into a morning of paperwork when Staci Pratt appeared from the front door.

“Rey? There’s a delivery for you outside.” 

She sighed, pushing herself away from her desk, Joey following out of both boredom and curiosity. 

Sitting outside the doors of the station was a pine sapling in a black pot. A shimmering, golden bow was tied around the delicate little tree.

“It’s...a tree?” Joey commented, staring down at the strange gift, “It’s nice, I guess, but why would someone send you a tree?”

“I have no idea,” Rey grit her teeth, fighting a laugh. She reached out to read the note.

_ Deputy, dangerous herbaceous plant. Approach with caution. X _


	24. Sights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace and Rey take the afternoon off for a hunting trip.
> 
> She didn't expect to have John in her sights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict. Rey and John's relationship is established but a secret (minor references to past chapters)
> 
> Chapter warnings: John's snarky sense of humour (But he can be soft on occasion)

“It’s heavier than I expected.”

Rey felt the SA-50 semi-automatic sniper rifle in her hands, getting an idea of the weight as she tested the scope. Grace nodded next to her.

“It is, but I kinda like that. Anything too light and it throws me off.” Grace said, grabbing a box of .50 calibre bullets from her bag to start loading. 

“You would know. You’re definitely a better shot than me,” Rey commented, Grace grinning in response.

“You ain’t gonna hear an argument about that!”

When Rey first moved to Hope County, Grace Armstrong was one of the first people she’d heard about. A local celebrity of sorts, not only from her achievements in the Olympics but her service in the military. They’d always had a friendly relationship, as reserved as Grace could be, but since fighting the cult together, the Afghanistan veteran and the junior deputy had grown to become good friends.

“What are we hunting?” Rey asked, “Anything in particular?”

Grace shook her head. “Nah. It’s a nice day. I figured we’d just take a hike and see what comes up. No big deal if we don’t get anything.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me.” Rey agreed, strapping her gun to her back as they set off towards higher ground. 

Occasional wisps of white cloud marbled the expanse of blue sky above then, the sun beating down on the valley as they climbed. Rey wiped her brow with the back of her hand. They’d barely begun their outdoor expedition and already she was sweating. Above them, John Seed’s giant ‘YES’ sign beamed in the sun.

“Urgh,” Grace scoffed, “Sooner or later, someone is going to have to rip that fucker down!”

Rey followed her gaze, biting her inner cheek hard. The last time she’d been anywhere near that sign, John had given her a very convincing argument about it. He’d told her she would think of him every time she looked at it and God, he wasn’t wrong.

“You’re a little flushed. Here,” Grace handed her a canteen, “Grab a drink. It’s hot today.”

“Ha. Yeah, thanks,” Rey replied awkwardly. At least she had the weather to blame her blush on.

She swallowed back the cold water, wondering if it was wise to broach the subject of the Seed family. Grace loved her father more than anything in the world and because of Eden’s Gate, he was gone. 

“Hey, Grace, let me ask you something,” Rey began carefully, “If the cult wanted to ever make peace, put down arms...would you do it?”

Grace stopped walking. She used her scarf to wipe her face, taking a deep breath as she pondered. Eventually, her head tilted.

“They took my pops from me,” she said shortly, “I don’t know if I can forgive them for that, but...when I was over in Iraq, I knew this guy. His best friend had been killed in action. He got a look at the guy who did it and all he ever talked about was revenge. It ate him up inside, turned him into this twisted, bitter person. I don’t know if I want to be like that.”

Her response was surprising, Rey sure her face giving away her thoughts. “So, you would? You’d make peace?”

“That’s a bit of a stretch and from the looks of things, we’re a long way off that,” Grace snorted, “Did you see what they did over at Gardenview? Slaughtered everyone there all because the owner wouldn’t sell.”

Rey nodded, keeping her eyes ahead as they walked. The duality of her situation wasn’t lost on her. It was hard to reconcile the daily cruelty around her with the man who she’d been slowly fallen in love with. With her, he was as tender as he was rough. As soft as he was sharp. Her fall hadn’t been quick and the realisation had been more painful than joyous. It filled her with fear because she knew any happiness she felt was going to be followed by the dread of loving a man she really wasn’t supposed to.

It was this familiar feeling, the dull ache that hit her chest when Grace described what happened at the packing facility.

“That was at least a month ago, right?” Rey added optimistically, “Since then I’ve noticed a lot of cult activity in Holland Valley has slowed down. Almost stopped.”

Grace looked sceptical. “Even if that’s the case, I’m not letting my guard down for anybody. When there’s an official ceasefire, then we can talk.”

It was definitely a better answer than Rey had expected and for that, she didn’t want to push further. It would either raise suspicion or just piss the other woman off. Instead, she changed the subject as they wandered. Knowing Grace as she did, Rey stuck to mainly safe topics. Gun modification, happy stories about her father, hunting. Grace wasn’t the most touchy-feely type.

They stopped by a large ridge, overlooking the fertilizer plant.

“I thought I smelled where we were,” Rey grimaced, “We should turn back. This place will be crawling with peggies and I was hoping for a quiet day.”

Grace dropped down, bringing her scope to her eye. “Hold on, I think I see something…”

“What?” 

“I’ll be damned,” Grace looked up at Rey with a wide, vicious smile on her face. “Take a look.”

Rey lifted her own scope, increasing the magnification. At the front of the plant was a very familiar black SUV, the cult’s logo painted on the side and hood. She gripped the gun tightly, willing her body not to shake. John was standing there talking to someone, clearly ready to get into the car. 

“We should get out of here…”

“What? Are you for real? Rey, this is our chance!” Grace insisted, “We can take out John Seed!”

“It’s an impossible shot,” Rey dismissed, “And we’re wasting time. We’d be seen.”

“No way, I can make that!” Grace said, pulling her gun back, “I just need him to stay still for a second and I’ve got him!”

Without her scope, John looked like an ant on the ground below, pacing as he spoke. She swallowed, her throat tightening with every passing second. There was no reasonable excuse she could make because Grace was right. This was the perfect opportunity to deal a blow to Eden’s Gate. 

_ Get in the car...get in the car… _

She willed him silently to keep moving, to get inside the SUV where the shot just wouldn’t be possible. Grace prepared herself.

“Shit!”

The gun made a strange sound, no bullet flying from the chamber. “Fuck it’s jammed. I thought I fixed this! Rey take the shot!”

“What?”

“Take the fucking shot!” Grace snapped, “He’s going to get away!”

Rey hesitated but raised her gun. John was in her sights, his head directly in the centre of her cross hair. Her shoulders ached from the strain of holding herself tall, trying to maintain the image that there was nothing wrong but inside, all she felt was turmoil. 

“What are you waiting for? Shoot!”

She shifted, squeezing the trigger. The bullet left through the silencer like a whisper, flying towards nothing, eventually ricocheting off the dirt ground. Peggies looked all around them, trying to find the shooter as John was bundled back into his vehicle. 

“Ah, shit,” Grace grumbled, “He got away.”

“I...I’m sorry. I’m not as good a shot as you,” Rey mumbled, her hands still shaking. 

Grace stood, clapping her friend on the back, but she was clearly disappointed. “It’s fine. I just don’t know when we’ll get another chance like that. Stupid fucking gun of mine! Come on, let’s go back. I want to know what fucked up in my weapon.”

Rey smiled weakly, following her friend.

00000

The mood on the journey back felt far tenser than when they’d begun their day. 

Grace had mainly complained about her gun, about how she’d only just cleaned and serviced the thing a few days ago and if it hadn’t jammed, John Seed’s brains would have been splattered in the dirt.

Rey hadn’t offered much response, occasionally muttering half-hearted agreements. She’d waved Grace home when they parted, rushing to her cabin and locking the door before she finally let her wavering control go.

Her stomach lurched, scrambling to her bathroom before she lost her composure. She gagged and gripped the toilet bowl, retching until she was sure there was nothing left, but her body was still shaking. Her chest was tight, like an icy hand wrapped around her heart. 

John had been seconds away from death. Rey rinsed her mouth, thanking any deity that could hear her for Grace’s gun jamming. Then it had been down to her. She’d had him in her sights because that’s what everyone expected. The heroic Deputy Jackson. The officer who kept people safe from Eden’s Gate.

And they had no idea who she really was.

“Stupid fucking idiot,” she hissed at herself, splashing her face with cold water.

In that moment her optimism had been shattered. In the back of her mind, she'd convinced herself that everything would be alright. Sure, he’d done terrible things but they loved each other and that was the important thing, right? Every night when she crept her way into his home they created their own world and now it was burning.

She had to see him, to check he was alright and once her mind was settled they could work out what they were going to do next together. 

00000

The minute she was inside the ranch she rushed up the stairs and burst into his office. John barely had time to register who it was as she threw herself at him, the papers in his hand fluttering to the floor. 

“Whoa, hey. Everything alright?” he asked as her face buried into his neck. She clung to him tightly, taking a deep, shuddering breath. His confused smile was replaced with concern. “Rey? What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

His frown deepened when he realised she was trembling. Gently, he peeled her from him enough to step back, holding her face so he could look her in the eye. Her lip trembled, her eyes red from unshed tears. He’d never seen her so shaken before. “Talk to me, what happened?”

“Today...at the fertilizer plant…” She stammered.

John sighed, rubbing away a stray tear with his thumb. “Oh, you heard about that? It’s alright. Not a scratch on me!” he smiled but Rey shook her head, gripping his wrists to separate them.

“No, you don’t understand!” She cried, “It was  _ me.  _ That bullet was from  _ my  _ gun!”

John stood silently until he offered her a lopsided grin. “That was you? You’re a terrible shot,” he smirked.

Rey scowled. “It’s not a fucking joke!” she hissed, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks, “I could have killed you! Grace spotted you first, she wanted me to take the shot and I didn’t have an excuse not to do it!”

John reached out to her again, his face serious as he held her shoulders, “Shh shh, hey. Look at me,” he commanded, “I’m here. I’m fine. We’re fine.”

“How is this fine?!” Rey shouted, “John, people want me to kill you...and Joseph wants you to kill me.”

“Joseph doesn’t want you dead. He-”

“Oh that’s right, he just wants you to torture me until I confess my sins,” Rey scoffed bitterly, “How silly of me!”

“Rey…”

“No, John! We’ve been lying to ourselves since this started,” she sniffed helplessly, “I just...I don’t know how this is going to work.”

“What do you mean?” John asked as she walked free from his grasp.

“I...I think we have to end this.” she choked. 

John’s jaw clenched, shaking his head firmly as he stalked towards her. “You’re upset. You don’t mean that.”

“What happens if one of your men finally catches me?” she questioned sadly, “Or worse, one of your siblings? Are you going to tell them that you betrayed your family? Of course, you won’t!”

“That’s not true…”

“And the next time you’re in the sights I’m not going to have the excuse to miss again,” she cast her eyes to the ground, “And I  _ can’t _ do it. I can’t kill you...I won’t!”

John stared at her, his head tilting as he took her all in. The way she avoided his eyes, arms hugging her body. This wasn’t his Rey, his sickeningly optimistic, tenacious deputy. His face softened and he hated how right she was.

“Isn’t it funny how things change?” he commented quietly, “Come here.”

Enveloped in his arms, she rested limply against his chest. Her anguish, all the tension, everything felt like it was draining away leaving her empty. She could feel his tattooed hands stroking her hair.

“I’m sorry you had to do that today,” he said seriously, “I can’t promise it won’t happen again. You’re right, we’re not making easy choices. You can’t leave...not now.”

Rey pushed him back, a desperate urge to see his face taking over. “It would be so much easier…”

“Would it?” John pressed, “You think it would be easier trying to forget any of this ever happened? It’s not going to change how we feel. What if Joseph is right?”

“Right about what? The collapse?”

John shook his head. “No, us. Remember I told you, I went to Joseph to confess because I felt guilty. I didn’t tell him it was you, but he told me that maybe this happened for a reason. That we’re here to save each other.”

Rey sighed, pushing her hair off her face. “I remember…”

“And what else did I tell you?”

“You said you believed in us,” she answered reluctantly, “Do you still?”

His kiss was soft and reassuring, holding her face between his palms. He rested his forehead against hers, an action she used to find strange. Now, it felt like comfort. 

“More than ever.” He confirmed. A ghost of a smile began to appear on her face, John squinting playfully to find it, “There she is, let me see that smile!”

“John,” Rey groaned, “We still have some serious things to talk about!”

“Alright, you want real talk? What we are doing is probably dangerous and stupid. There is a chance that this won’t end well. But I love you, and I’m not so afraid of losing something that I’m not willing to risk having it first. Come on, angel. Where’s your optimism?”

“It was in that bullet that hit the dirt,” she drawled, “But...yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to end things, I’m just...John, I’m scared.”

He pulled her back into his arms. “You know you’re not the only one. This relationship is new for me too.” he said, pressing a kiss to the crown of her hair, “Why do you think Eden’s Gate has been a little more...relaxed in this area? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t. I promise.” Rey replied, kissing his neck. It wasn’t a promise she could realistically keep, but for now, with high tensions in the room slowly starting to ease, it would do.

“Hmm. I don’t know. I’ve seen the way you shoot…” John sniggered, “Missed me by a country mile.”

Rey snorted.

“You’re such a dick...I love you.”


	25. Babysit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Rey want to celebrate their anniversary in peace.
> 
> What do you do when your regular babysitter is sick and you're stuck in an underground bunker?
> 
> You ask Uncle Joseph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's canon - Set after The Collapse when they're stuck in the bunker. 
> 
> Chapter warnings: It gets softer than I expected.

“It’s just one evening.”

Joseph stared pensively back at his youngest brother as he leaned casually in the doorway between his sitting room and his bedroom. Being ‘The Father’ certainly gave him a few perks, one of them being a room in the bunker just as nice as John’s. The difference was that Joseph didn’t have to share his space.

He sighed, scratching his beard thoughtfully. “I’m aware of that, all I’m saying is that I’m not best suited to childcare. Isn’t there anyone else?”

John shook his head, standing up from the doorway. “Adelaide isn’t feeling well and frankly, I’d really like you to bond a little more with Violet.”

“We bond just fine,” Joseph scoffed but John wasn’t buying it.

“Joe, come on. She’s your niece!” He pointed out, “and it’s my wedding anniversary. I really want to do something special for Rey. So could you watch Violet for a few hours tonight, please?” 

Joseph stared back at John, noticing that the youngest Seed, even at 37 years old was still very effective at giving those wide beseeching eyes that Joseph remembered from their childhood. Eventually, he sighed, nodding his head in defeat.

“Alright, I will look after Violet.”

John smiled widely. “Great! I appreciate it.” He said, turning to leave, “Just so you know she’s getting really fussy with certain foods right now...and she’s in the habit of climbing everything she can find... and she’s really come to embrace the word ‘no’ BUT other than that, you’re going to have a great time! I’ll be back with her in a few hours.”

Joseph groaned.

00000

Keeping his word, John returned to Joseph’s room with his daughter in tow. 

“Hello Violet,” Joseph smiled, a hint of nervous tension behind his expression. 

His niece grinned up at him with rosy cheeks and a sparkle in her bright blue eyes. Maybe it was the way she was looking at him but it had never occurred to Joseph just how much she took after her father. 

“Hi Uncle Joseph!” She beamed, waving her small hand at him.

“She’s already had her dinner so don’t let her fool you but if she’s still hungry later, she can have a snack,” John explained, “Ideally don’t let her stay up past 7. 7:30 at the latest or she’ll be a nightmare tomorrow.”

“Are you talking about me, daddy?” Violet asked innocently.

John shook his head. “Of course not, you’re my perfect angel,” he looked back to Joseph, his expression switching dramatically, “Seriously. Nightmare.”

“Wonderful,” Joseph drawled, “Any ideas what I should do to entertain your daughter for the next few hours?”

“Read to her, talk to her, draw with her...you know? Kid stuff.”

“I most certainly do not know!” Joseph pointed out. 

John grinned. “You’ll work it out I’m sure. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a night with my wife!” He crouched down to Violet’s level, “Okay, you be a good girl for your Uncle and I’ll be back to get you later.”

“Bye daddy,” Violet smiled, kissing her father on the cheek before sprinting into Joseph’s bedroom, squealing like a banshee the whole way. 

Joseph shot his brother a horrified look.

“Have fun, Joe!”

00000

“Where are you taking me?” 

Rey couldn’t see a thing. Not only had she been told to keep her eyes closed but John had covered her face with his palms, insisting that whatever he had planned was a surprise.

“You’ll see, it’s literally a few more steps!” John insisted.

Rey snorted. “If it’s the dining hall, I’m going to kill you.”

“Have a little faith,” He told her, carefully walking his wife to his planned location.

Giving everything one last glance, he removed his hands.

“Okay. Open your eyes,”

It took a moment for Rey to adjust to the dull light, the sight making her gasp, her hands flying to her mouth. He’d used the room she had found years ago, clearing the floor to make space in the centre. A plaid blanket with pillows had been laid out with a picnic basket, candles placed around the edges casting an ambient glow around the room. Above them was the most miraculous part of it all. 

There were stars on the ceiling.

“Is that? Holy shit, how did you do that?” She gasped.

“There was an old projector lying around that I asked some of our engineers to help fix,” he explained proudly, “I know it’s not perfect but you’re always saying how you miss the sky an- umph!”

She swallowed his words, cutting off his excuses with a passionate kiss, her fingers curling around the collar of his sweater.

“It’s perfect. All of it!” She insisted.

“Happy Anniversary, Rey.”

“Happy Anniversary, John.”

00000

Violet was staring at him.

After 25 minutes of running around his rooms squealing, the toddler settled, sitting cross-legged on his floor as if nothing had happened with the box of crayons she’d arrived with. Joseph frowned as he sat on the old sofa he’d commandeered for his room, wondering where the hell Rey and John had found crayons in the first place.

But now she was just there, looking at him with her impossibly large eyes like some kind of living doll. It was unnerving.

“So, Violet…” Joseph began, trying to think of something to do, “What would you like to-”

“What do you do?”

“What?”

“What do you do?” She repeated, “Mommy says that Daddy runs our home. What do you do?”

Joseph stared down at his niece indignantly. He wanted to correct her, to say that what he did was ten times more important than running the bunker, however, the more he thought about it, the word of God wasn’t going to do them much good underground if they ran out of power or food. He took a deep, steadying breath.

“I look after the people and their spiritual needs,” He explained, “I give them guidance.”

“Daddy does that.”

“No...No, no,” he corrected through gritted teeth, “What I do is very different. I am the head of the church. Like John is your father, I am also a type of father. I give people guidance and help them with their problems. Your father helps me.”

Tiny lines formed between Violet's brows, an expression so like John’s it caught Joseph off guard. After a moment of contemplation, she nodded.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Joseph repeated, “Do you...understand?”

Violet shook her head. “...No.”

Reading. John had said she liked to be read to and suddenly Joseph had an idea. He moved to his small bookcase, grabbing the beaten leather-bound book. The white had faded to an off grey long ago, but the gold still glinted in the light. He took his seat, patting the space next to him.

“How about I read something to you? Then you might understand more.” He smiled. 

This was a good thing, he thought. It was never too early to get children interested in the word of the church and this was his wheelhouse. His comfort zone. If it happened to keep Violet entertained, all the better.

He began to read, Violet's eyes fascinated more with the pictures than the stories her Uncle was telling. Joseph did his best, to his credit, to keep things light. A four-year-old didn’t need to know the inner workings of brimstone quite yet, even if God’s holy fire was the reason she was born underground.

“I’m hungry!” She announced suddenly, her high pitched voice cutting through the monotony of his off the cuff sermon. 

Joseph sighed. He had just been getting into a flow and now it was ruined. “Well, your father said you could have a snack. Would you like one now?” 

Violet nodded enthusiastically.

“Alright. Let me see what I can do for you. Wait here.”

Leaving Violet alone, Joseph wandered to his personal store. Admittedly there wasn’t much he assumed was suitable for a child. Most things he’d hidden had been scavenged from John’s personal stash having unexpectedly found himself stuck in the wrong bunker. After searching, he eventually settled on some jarred fruit, hoping that there wouldn’t be too much sugar for her.

“I hope you like fruit becau- OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

His cry and the smashing of the plate that fell from his hand startled her to the point of dropping the bright purple crayon she’d been holding. Violet was on the floor, the Book of Joseph open in front of her. The illustration she’d been so fascinated with was now a rainbow of colour, stripes of crayon leading from one page onto the other. 

She grinned up at him, Joseph's mouth flapping in horror.

“I made it pretty Uncle Joseph!” she declared proudly, turning the page to start on her next creation. 

“No! That is quite enough,” Joseph snapped, scooping the book up from the floor. Violet’s lip began to tremble. “Oh no, please don’t...please don’t do that!”

A scream unlike anything he’d ever heard left her. It was unholy and quickly he was again reminded  _ exactly _ who she was the spawn of. His ears were ringing as he rushed forward, throwing the book back on the ground like a peace offering to appease a very small, very turbulent deity. It was already ruined anyway and it wasn’t going to be difficult to source another one.

Even if his book was the  _ original _ .

Immediately, Violet stopped crying. She sniffed loudly, wiping her wet eyes and smiling as she returned to her art.

00000

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you had  _ this _ stashed away and you didn’t tell me!” Rey asked, almost groaning with pleasure as she smelled the wine he’d just poured for her. 

John looked at the bottle with a satisfied smile. “It’s a special occasion. What kind of husband would I be if I turned up with a keg of that excuse for gasoline Boshaw makes?”

“Laugh it up, but someday we might need that stuff to power our homes,” Rey laughed, sipping her wine and laying back on the blanket. She tucked herself into his side, her head on his chest as she absently played with his sweater.

“Hmm. You’re not wrong,” He pondered, “That is something we’ll need to start thinking about soon.”

“What is?” 

“Leaving,” he replied, “It’s been five years. What’s left of the outside cameras are showing a world that’s growing again, I think another year and it could be safe to start venturing out at least.”

Rey took a deep breath, the comforting scent of his aftershave filling her nostrils as she thought about what he’d said. The projection of stars twinkled above them and she smiled, the idea that soon they would be real again making her giddy.

“It’s a lot to think about. Leaving,” she confessed, “I wonder if our home is still there?”

“I like to think so. It depends how close it was to any of the blasts or how it decayed over the years.” 

“I miss it,” she confessed quietly, snuggling closer to him, “I miss our balcony.”

“Me too. There are a lot of things I miss. We’ll get them back, sooner or later.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, the warm glow of the projection and wine relaxing them both into a boneless heap on the floor.

John chuckled to himself. “I feel like I should really be taking advantage of this free time by trying to take your clothes off…”

“But just having some peace to lie here and not be responsible for a tiny human is too good to pass up?” she finished for him. 

John nodded. “Exactly.”

“I wonder how Joe is getting along with her,” Rey pondered, “Violet loves everyone but Joe isn’t the most...well, y’know,”

“I do know,” John agreed, “Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll hear all about it later, but for now...drink your wine.”

Rey didn’t need to be told twice.

00000

“But I’m not tired!” Violet whined, rubbing her eyes as she was carried towards the bed.

Joseph checked his watch. It was already 7:45 pm and there was no way he wanted to experience whatever ‘nightmare” John was talking about. Carefully he laid her on the bed, pulling the sheets up over her body.

“Don’t you want to go to sleep?”

“No!”

“Well, your father said this is your bedtime,” Joseph told her firmly, “So you’re going to go to sleep now.”

“But I can’t!” she sniffed, her lip heralding oncoming tears.

“How do you usually go to sleep?” he asked quickly. Anything to prevent another siren-like performance. 

“Daddy sings to me.”

“Oh.” 

It was certainly not the answer he’d been expecting. The man his brother had grown into when they’d been reunited was a ghost in comparison to who he was now. His relationship had forced him to grow, to face his anger head on and genuinely repent his sins. The idea of John Duncan singing his daughter to sleep was unthinkable. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have a very good voice...but how about a story instead?”

“What kind of story?” 

And like that, he was back to being 14 years old again. His parents had been next to useless. Husks masquerading as people, completely incapable of real love. Jacob was their defender, but the care of John fell to him. He could remember tucking his four-year-old brother into bed, telling him stories about worlds where nobody could hurt them.

Joseph smiled, reaching out to stroke Violet’s hair. It had been a long time since he’d made up a story, but there was one he could tell.

“This is a story about a little boy who was searching for something,” he began, “He lived in a house with his two brothers and all of them dreamed about running away together.”

“Why?”

“Because they lived with an evil ogre who didn’t want them to be happy. One night, the evil orge went too far and the brothers were separated. The little boy grew up to be a man who was filled with sadness and anger because he still hadn’t found what he was looking for.”

“What was he looking for?” She asked, burying herself further into the sheets.

“That was the problem, he didn’t know. He searched far and wide. He tried filling his heart with different things, wicked things, to ease his pain and even his reunited family couldn’t ease his loneliness. Until one day...he met an angel.”

“An angel?!” Violet awed, her expression making Joseph chuckle. 

“He didn’t know she was an angel at first! In fact, the man didn’t like the angel very much and they would fight with each other all the time. Slowly, the man and the angel began to see things differently. The man realised that the angel was what he’d been looking for all along.”

“What happened to them?” Violet yawned, her eyes growing heavy.

“The man went to his family, who knew before him might I add, to tell them that he’d fallen in love. His heart was at peace. The man and the angel were married in the snow.”

“What’s snow?” she mumbled, steadily drifting off to sleep. Joseph kissed his niece on the forehead.

“I hope that man will show you someday,” he said, “They lived happily ever after.”

Violet was finally asleep, soft snores filling the room as Joseph looked around. The place was a disaster. Crayons littered the floor, his books pulled from the shelves and his own copy of his word ruined. Seeing her little angelic face finally at peace, he released a heaving sigh.

“Oh, Thank God.”

00000

“How was she?”

John and Rey appeared at his door late, their clothes worse for wear and dreamy looks on both their faces. Joseph fought an eye roll. The pair couldn’t have been more obvious if they’d tried but still, it made his heart glad that their marriage was still going strong.

There was clearly a bite mark on Rey’s neck.

The pair examined Joseph’s rooms and the mess that had been made by their daughter.

“She was…”

“You can say a nightmare if you like, we won’t be offended!” Rey said kindly, “We really appreciate you taking her for the night.”

“I was going to say ‘spirited’,” Joseph replied, “She is a very bright, energetic little girl.”

“Well, thanks again,” John said, “We’ll just grab her and get out of your hair.”

“Actually, I was thinking. Violet is fast asleep, there’s no point in disturbing her. Why don’t you two finish your night and I’ll bring her to breakfast tomorrow?”

John raised a questioning brow. “Are you sure? She’s a handful in the morning.”

“I get the impression she’s a handful anytime,” Joseph said wryly, “Yes, I’m certain. Go. Finish enjoying your night.”

“Only if you're sure!” Rey said, already halfway out the door and dragging John with her. 

Joseph waved them off.

“Of course I’m sure. She’s my family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lads, thank you so much for reading and sharing. If you're enjoying these instalments, please leave a comment and let me know!


	26. Excercise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling into their relationship, Rey wonders where John goes on the mornings he wakes before her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict, just after they establish their secret relationship
> 
> Chapters warnings: NSFW, rough smut, John just loves ruining ripping underwear.

Staying the night was still a relatively new experience for Rey.

Her relationship with John was growing, moving from its initial strange beginnings to something far more established. With the shift in dynamics came the realisation that she didn’t immediately have to leave in the middle of the night and that the county wasn’t going to crumble if she happened to stay for breakfast.

Rey was more of a morning person than John was, but on occasion, she would wake to an empty bed. Normally she’d roll out of the sheets and take a shower, waiting for him to finish whatever he was doing before she said her goodbye. Finally, her curiosity had taken over. Having showered and dressed, Rey began to wander the ranch in search of her boyfriend.

_ Boyfriend? Manfriend? Sexual support sadist? _

She shook her head free of her ridiculous thoughts, worrying about what she’d label themselves another time. Inside the second building, she could hear grunting and heavy breathing from a familiar person. Standing by a crate, just out of sight, Rey watched.

John stood with his back to her, his wrapped fists smacking a hanging heavy bag. His skin was shining in the early morning light streaming through the windows, back rippling with the effort of his hits. Rey bit her lip, watching him take a deep breath and push some of his messy hair out of his face.

His body reminded her of a real fighter, muscular without being bulky and despite knowing you didn’t get a physique like his without working out, it was something she’d never pictured him doing. Dressed in nothing but a pair of black track pants, Rey couldn’t stop her shameless wandering eyes. 

“See something you like, Deputy?” John smirked, grabbing his towel from the top of a crate. 

Rey jumped, her face flushing when she realised that she’d been caught. John laughed, wiping his face and neck before he took a long swig of water.

“I...um...well…”

“It’s alright darling, you don’t need to be shy,” he teased, “I’ve got nothing to hide.”

Rey stepped out from her hiding spot, trying not to stare at his adonis belt. “Sorry, I was just curious where you went if you got up before I did. Didn’t expect  _ this _ though.”

“What?”

“Well, when I picture you working out I think of expensive gyms and personal trainers. Lots of chrome,” she explained, “I definitely don’t think of bare-knuckle boxing in a dirty warehouse.”

“First of all, this warehouse is not dirty. Secondly...I’m not sure if I should take offence to that.” he said thoughtfully, leaning on one of the crates, “I’ll have you know that I was head of my boxing club in college. I can take care of myself.”

“What about that time I almost shot you…”

“You’ll need to be more specific.”

“In the church? After you gave me this?” she said, gesturing to the ‘WRATH’ tattoo on her chest. 

John had the decency to look sheepish, “Oh.”

“Yeah, that time and you were bundled into your car.” she finished. 

John took another drink of water, wiping his mouth as he sauntered towards her, his towel draped around his neck.

“Unfair circumstances. You had a  _ gun _ !” he pointed out, “When it was just us, one on one, I remember the outcome being very different.”

“It was not!” Rey scoffed.

John rounded on her, playfully closing the gap between them. “So I didn’t end up pinning you to the ground?” He asked proudly.

“That...is neither here nor there,” Rey muttered, rolling her eyes before raising her fists, “Come on, Seed, head of the boxing club. Show me what you’ve got!”

“I’m not going to fight you. You’re not even dressed appropriately!”

“Wasn’t dressed appropriately that night by the river either,” she replied, “Or are you just worried you’ll lose?”

She began jabbing at him, lightly throwing her fists at his shoulders until he snorted, easily blocking her shots.

“There we go!” She grinned, “So there is a little fight left,”

She jabbed forward with her right hand, John suddenly grabbing her wrist to twist her arm by her sides. Trying to grab him with her left hand only resulted in the same fate. Rey growled, trying to wriggle free of his grip as he controlled her direction.

Her back collided with the stack of crates, driving the air out of her body with an involuntary moan. John’s fingers wrapped around her wrists, his chest pressed in to hold her in place.

“You think you’re faster than me, angel?” he teased, hair a shaggy mess. 

Rey smiled sweetly, rolling her body against his, noticing the way his jaw clenched. The thin fabric of his pants left nothing to the imagination. Boldly, she kissed him, catching his lower lip with her teeth.

“I don’t think, handsome…” She replied. Her leg wrapped around his, her heel catching the back of his Achilles tendon. His leg crumpled beneath him, sending them both to the ground. Rey moved swiftly, holding his shoulder down with her boot, kneeling over him triumphantly, “I  _ know _ I’m faster than you.”

John grabbed her boot with both hands, catching his breath, but he wasn’t defeated. She could barely feel the way his fingers curled around the leather, his grip tightening. “Alright, so maybe you’re a little faster…” 

Suddenly he pulled her leg out from under her, using the rocked centre of gravity to pull himself on top. Rey blinked up at him, finding herself on her back, once again pinned down by his weight. The leg she’d used to trap him coiled around his hip, his other limb trapping her to the floor. 

“...but I’m stronger.” he finished, the smile on his face infuriatingly smug. 

Rey tried to take a deep breath, her lungs struggling with the pressure of his weight, her chest heaving. John’s eyes flicked downward, shamelessly catching an eyeful of her cleavage. 

“My, my, what would Joseph say if he found his confessor rolling around on the floor?” She grinned, pressing her hips against his. 

A low growl emanated from his throat, his eyes darkening as he leaned towards her, capturing her lips roughly. His teeth nipped in retaliation for her earlier tease. Her hands snaked around his neck, fingers tangling in his hopelessly dishevelled hair. Adrenaline still in her system, the fighter in her still wanted to play, tugging his hair a little harder than usual.

When his lungs burned, the need for air forcing a break, he grinned down at her, “So that’s how we’re doing this?” he roughly grabbed for her belt, Rey kicking off her boot to wrestle out of at least one leg of her jeans, “And what Joseph doesn’t know won’t kill him.”

Rey was sure that while Joseph hadn’t been told her name, on some level, he definitely knew. John was not a subtle man. Those thoughts disappeared as his hands wandered, adept fingers skimming her slit through the thin layer of her panties finding them already damp.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you liked fighting with me,” he drawled, watching intently as he made her groan with long, slow circles. 

There were times she lived for his teasing. John was especially good at drawing things out when he wanted to, but Rey was growing impatient. She grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him into a vicious kiss. 

“Almost as much as I like fucking you,” she growled, “Don’t make me wait.”

He chuckled darkly, his teeth scraping down her throat as he grasped her underwear. One sharp tug and they were torn from her body, friction burning her skin as they went. Their movements were frenzied, John’s track pants kicked away enough to free himself. 

A leg was thrown up and over his hip, they groaned in tandem as he pushed in, only allowing them a single moment to settle before he set a brutal pace. A hand cupped the back of her head, but it was the only respite she had from the rough floor, her skin scraping on the floorboards as he pistoned his hips. 

“Is this more what you had in mind, huh?” John growled, pulling roughly at her top to free her breast, sucking on her nipple until he had he writhing below him. 

“Letting you win again?” She panted, tightening her thighs around his waist, “I don’t think so!”

The ground was solid as she rolled them, John finding himself on his back looking up at her in awe. He gripped her hip bones tightly, nails digging into her skin as she rode him, her breasts bouncing with her effort.

As amazing as the view from the floor was, he wasn’t about to let her get the upper hand. She’d hold that smug victory over him for the rest of the week. Holding her tightly, he pulled her body against his, rolling her back to the floor, their limbs smacking off the hard surface.

“Remember what I said about being stronger, Angel!”

She groaned, growling at him below until he started moving, fucking her roughly against the wood.

“Oh fuck...don’t stop,” she begged, the words barely comprehensive between their animalistic snarls and groans. 

The hand cupping her head tightened, fingers pulling at the roots of her hair, adding another sensation to the already heady mix. Heat and pressure built, threatening to burn her from the inside if she didn’t find release. She whined, her nails scratching at his back as he left a perfect imprint of his teeth on her breast.

“Are you going to cum for me, darling?” he groaned, the frantic movement of his hips beginning to stutter, “I know you’re close. I can feel it.”

He’d been skilled to begin with, but now he knew her body like the back of his tattooed hands. She was helpless, every muscle tightening to the point of pain until intense pleasure shot from her core, reaching every cell. Her body clenching around him in waves was enough to tip him over the edge, John following with a carnal shout, collapsing on top of her.

Gulping air, willing his heartbeat to slow again, he laughed lazily as she pressed a kiss to his neck. Carefully, his raw knees reminding him they weren’t on a bed, he rolled from her so they could do their best to dress.

Their clothes were practically ruined. The knees of John’s pants were torn, his back scraped to ribbons. The back of Rey’s shirt was filthy and covered in small tears, parts of her bare skin red raw. Hair sticking up at all angles, they resembled a couple that had been dragged through a particularly violent hedge. 

John picked up Rey’s ruined underwear, sticking them in his pocket with a very satisfied smile. 

“Let’s call it a draw?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to feed your authors. Comments are always encouraged.


	27. Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a bone to pick with his adopted sister, Faith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set during the conflict. Her relationship with John is established but still secret.

If there was anywhere in Hope County John hated the most, it was the Henbane. 

Thanks to the influence of his adopted sister, the whole region seemed clouded. Passing over the bridge was like walking into a dream for some, but John hated it. Faith calling her zombified followers ‘angels’ felt insulting to him. An angel was something beautiful, full of grace. These walking vegetables were not, wandering the land with lifeless eyes, drooling and growling like rabid dogs.

The sooner he could leave the better, but he had something to say that had to be done in person.

“Faith! Are you here?” John bellowed, pushing his way past her braindead followers into the belly of her bunker. The whole place smelled sickly and all he wanted to do was say his piece and get out.

“John! How sweet of you to visit,” Faith smiled as she appeared almost from nowhere, twirling her white lace dress.

John, however, was not returning the expression. His mouth was twisted in a dark scowl, his eyes stormy.

“You won’t think it’s sweet in a minute,” he growled, “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Faith shrugged, drawing small circles on the ground with her bare foot, shooting him a wide-eyed innocent look.

“Quit the cutesy act, Faith,” He snapped, “That might work with Joseph but it won’t with me. You pumped that Deputy so full of bliss she could barely see straight!”

The smile on Faith’s face fell, her expression shifting from angelic and pure to exasperated and bored. 

“You’re exaggerating!” She scoffed, “I didn’t give her _that_ much. Just enough to have a little fun and see what she’s made of…”

**48 hours earlier**

_The glow from the wall of monitors filled the room, John’s keen eyes evaluating each screen. Each cell held at least one person, all terrified out their minds and desperate. It was a problem he’d been grappling with silently for some time._

_He believed in Joseph. He believed in Eden’s Gate and the collapse, but something was changing in his mindset. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but he could feel it. He first noticed during a confession. The man tied to his chair was crying, begging to be set free and instead of feeling power or release, John felt...guilt?_

_He’d stopped what he was doing, commanding the man to be taken back to his cell and he hadn’t performed a confession since. He thought of Rey. Even though they never talked about his duties for Eden’s Gate, he knew it still hurt her. The further he fell, the harder it became to indulge sadistic instincts that were diminishing._

_He could set them free? It wouldn’t be hard to convince his followers that the souls of the individuals were too impure for New Eden and the idea of Rey being proud of his decision made warmth bloom in his chest. Joseph was another matter. He would never believe John’s reasoning. As much as Rey would be proud, he couldn’t stand his brother’s disappointment._

_“John! We have something for you.”_

_The voice from one of his Chosen made him jump, so wrapped up in his own thoughts he hadn’t heard the man approach the room._

_“Yes?”_

_“We have the deputy!”_

_The excitement on the man’s face was clear, John keeping himself composed even as his stomach twisted._

_“Where?” John asked simply._

_“We put her in one of the cells near silo C. Didn’t want to take any chances with her,” the man replied, “Not that it matters much, she’s so blissed out she can barely tell what planet she’s on!”_

_John’s gaze sharpened, eyes narrowing, his Chosen taking a step back. “Bring her to confession…”_

_“But John, she-”_

_“Now!” John hissed, “And I do not want her harmed in any way, or there will be consequences, am I understood?”_

_The man nodded. He was taller than John but the baptist radiated authority, his tone leaving no room for interpretation._

**Present**

“What she’s made of? Faith, she was a babbling mess when she got dropped in my lap!” John shouted, his coat billowing as he threw up his arms. 

“Okay, maybe I used a little more than planned but you should be thanking me!” Faith stressed, “That deputy has been causing you problems for months in the Valley! Blowing up silos, killing our brothers and sisters. My bliss saved you the trouble.”

“I had it under control!” John snapped indignantly, “My people were dealing with her.”

“Really? That’s not what it looked like to me!” Faith sniggered, “From what I can tell things in Holland Valley are actually slowing down. Are you _sure_ you’re going to be ready when the collapse comes?”

“Don’t question me, sister. I have my own methods-”

“And I have mine!”

**48 hours earlier**

_John locked the doors to his confession room thoroughly, telling everyone he was not to be disturbed. They all understood. He’d been chasing down the deputy for months and now she was finally back in his grasp. It was obvious he would want to take his time with her confession._

_If that’s what they all thought, it was for the best._

_They’d tied her to a chair, the legs scraping on the metal floor as she struggled against her bonds. Immediately he rushed to her side, ripping the duct tape from her arms. She flailed aimlessly, the movement knocking her to the floor but her ankles were still bound._

_“Rey, calm down!” he cried, “It’s me. It’s John, I’m trying to help you!”_

_“Let me go!” she screeched, kicking her legs wildly as he tore her free. The chair squealed on the metal floor as she booted it away from her, scrambling away from him until her back hit the cold wall._

_She was breathing fast, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her manic eyes darted around the dull room. John sighed to himself, gritting his teeth. She had passed the stage of pure joy and now she was climbing out, her senses returning with a vengeance. Admittedly, a room with low red lighting, hooks and deer antlers everywhere was not the most comforting sight to start regaining your mind but he hoped his presence would at least help._

_“Rey…”_

_“Don’t hurt me!” she pleaded, “Stay back!”_

_“Rey, darling, it’s me,” he said again, gently. Slowly he inched towards her, her huge eyes watching him warily, “I’m not going to hurt you!”_

_“I...I remember this place…” she muttered, “This is a bad place.”_

_Of course, the last time she’d been in the bunker, he’d threatened to tattoo her sins onto her body then rip them off. He’d threatened her friends before having her chased out of the bunker by brain dead monsters sent to him from Faith._

_It felt like a lifetime ago._

_“It’s not anymore okay?” he assured her, reaching out to touch her arm, “You’re safe in here. I’m not going to let anything happen to you…”_

**Present**

“Your methods are sloppy and irresponsible! How many followers have we lost to the bliss? Wandering around with their brains scrambled.” 

“How dare you! Joseph put me in charge of this region. The Father trusts me!” she snapped.

“She was found just wandering near the border,” John growled, “What if she’d fallen into the river?”

“Then she’d have drowned and all our problems would have gone away?” Faith suggested with a sly smirk, but John’s scowl made her take a step back.

“You fucking brat!” he shouted, “She’s too important!”

“Important?”

**48 hours earlier**

_“I need to get out of here...I can’t breathe!” Rey panted, clawing at her throat and pulling the already loose collar of her forest green uniform. Her body was shaking as she tried to push herself to stand, grabbing hold of the wall for support._

_“You’re not going anywhere like this. We need to get this stuff out of your system…” John tried to explain clearly._

_Rey shook her head, her unfocused eyes on the floor. “No, no, no...I need to go. I don’t...I don’t know what’s happening to me!”_

_She looked up, spying the stairs. He could see the way her disorientated mind was working, already moving to cut her off as she tried to dash past him. She wasn’t as strong as she would have been but there was still enough fight left in her to struggle as he grabbed for her._

_“Let me go!”_

_“Rey, you need to calm down, you’re going to hurt yourself!” he pleaded, struggling to grab her around the waist._

_He knew she didn’t care about hurting herself, that was the problem. She screamed, a harrowing sound as he held her tightly, holding his own wrist to envelope her arms to her sides as she thrashed wildly, the back of her head catching his face multiple times._

_“Let go! I can’t...I don’t know what to do!” she wailed, her movements slowed as she began to sob, gasping for air audibly._

_Carefully, John brought them to the ground, his chest pressed firmly against her back, wrapping a leg around Rey’s like a vine to hold her tightly in place. It was only then he realised he was shaking too._

_“Shh. I’ve got you!”_

_“John?” her breathing was beginning to slow but he could still feel her heart racing._

_“It’s me. It’s John,” he replied, relieved that he could hear a trace of his deputy in her still shaking voice._

_Rey sniffed loudly, still quivering in his arms on the floor. “I...I’m scared. I don’t know what happened or what’s going on...I don’t know what to do…I don’t feel in control.”_

_“You don’t need to do anything,” he assured her, “I’m going to take care of you. I need you to answer me okay?”_

_He knew all too well what too much bliss could do to a person. How had he put it to her once? Too much bliss could go to one's head. That was the least of it. Too much bliss could shut down your frontal lobe, leaving you a lobotomised animal with only basic functions._

_“What’s your name?”_

_“...Rey”_

_“Good. Who am I?”_

_“You...you’re John Seed.” she answered shakily, her breathing beginning to slow as they lay there on the floor. Slowly, he loosened his grip._

_“Do you know where you are?” he asked uncertainly._

_She was quiet until she sniffed loudly. “Your bunker...Holland Valley.”_

_John sighed with relief, pressing a kiss to her temple, continuing to hold her close to him. She wasn’t out of the woods yet. It would take hours until the bliss was completely gone but at least she’d stopped screaming._

_“Okay, I’m going to try and get you grounded alright?” he said, “Tell me 5 things you can see?”_

_Rey looked around her. “Chair, stairs, table, chain...and you.”_

_“What can you feel? Tell me 4 things you can feel.”_

_“Uh...the ground, your hands around me, my hair on my face, your leg.”_

_John nodded his encouragement. “Keep going. 3 things you can hear?”_

_“Your voice, my heartbeat and...pipes, I think.” she answered, her voice slowly beginning to level again, sounding calmer._

_“2 things you can smell?”_

_“Rust and your aftershave,” she answered, her chest beginning to rise and fall evenly._

_“You’re doing so well. 1 thing you can taste?”_

_Rey released a shaky laugh, her body still trembling in his arms as he released her leg._

_“Stale air.” She groaned, all the tension in her body draining, leaving her boneless against him, “I...I think I’m going to be sick.”_

_John smiled in spite of it all, releasing an arm to stroke her hair sympathetically._

_“Sorry, sweetheart, you’re about to have the worst hangover of your life.”_

**Present**

“What do you mean she’s important?” Faith demanded, crossing her arms impatiently.

“She’s important to m-...to The Father,” he said, quickly composing himself and ignoring his misstep, “She’s important to Joseph. He wants her to reach atonement and she can’t do that if she’s fucking dead or zombified!”

“Important to _The Father_ , huh?” Faith commented, shooting John a skeptical look, “Important enough to The Father that you personally came down here to yell at me over it?”

“Joseph is busy.”

“Is that so?” Faith sniggered, “Just saying Johnny, that Deputy is important to _someone_...sure doesn’t seem like it’s Joseph!”

John stalked forward, towering over her with a dark scowl. “My motives are none of your damn business!” he growled, “This is the only warning you’re going to get. Family or not, if you hurt Deputy Jackson again, there will be consequences.”

Faith didn’t respond, setting her jaw and lifting her chin in silent challenge before John turned, his coat flapping around his knees as he stormed out of her bunker, shoving an angel out of the way for good measure.

Smiling, Faith watched him leave, her mind working as she did.

“Well... _that_ was interesting.”

00000

“You should have seen him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen John so angry!” Faith said excitedly, standing in the sitting room of Joseph’s private home. 

“I have,” Jacob shrugged, “John’s just a ball of rage. You happened to be on the receiving end this time...all because you blissed up his girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Joseph said, looking up from his papers, “Who?”

“The deputy? Rey Jackson?” Faith explained, trying to prevent her excitement over gossip from taking over her reverence of The Father.

Joseph stood from the table, shaking his head. “How is that possible?”

“Uh, because it’s John?” Jacob suggested, “You know he’s had a thing for that deputy since she moved here? Apparently that doesn’t just go away cause she’s shooting at him. Fuck, it’s John. Maybe that made him like her more, who knows?”

Faith and Jacob stared at Joseph, waiting for The Father to comprehend what they were telling him. He shook his head with disbelief. 

“So...you both knew?!” Joseph asked, casting his accusing stare at his siblings. Faith looked sheepish but Jacob only shrugged.

“Yeah. You didn’t?” he sniggered, “They’ve hardly been subtle about it.”

“In case you didn’t notice, brother. I have more important things to pay attention to,” Joseph ground out, “I’m running a church, not a high school. God does not care for idle gossip!”

“Someone should tell John that…”

“And you're sure it’s the Deputy?” Joseph asked, “What about when he came to confess to me?”

“It was the deputy then too,” Faith said, “Really, Joseph, you honestly didn’t know?”

“Evidently I did not,” he huffed, sitting back down at the table, drumming his fingers on the wood.

“What should we do about it?” Faith asked, “Is this going to ruin everything?”

Joseph shook his head.

“God works in mysterious ways. This is John’s test,” Joseph replied wisely, “I believe this Rey Jackson is here for a reason. I told John as such when he came to me, I just didn’t know it was _her._ I think it’s best we let things progress...let us see what God has planned for our brother.”

Jacob and Faith nodded, the room falling into contemplative silence until Jacob spoke.

“Seriously, you didn’t know?”

“Shut up, Jacob.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback make your favourite authors write faster. It's science.


	28. Gossip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now her marriage to John has gone public, Rey has to deal with the consequences of her decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set after peace has been declared, just after Rey and John confirmed their relationship by kissing in public.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Awkward encounters, God is watching so be nice.

There is nothing more unsettling than the feeling that occurs when you realise you’ve walked into a room and people have just been talking about you.

For Rey, in the space of a single morning, it had happened more than once. The atmosphere for the diner that day had become decidedly frostier when she entered, the few residents enjoying their breakfast all turning her direction. Some looked away again, ignoring her completely but others were less subtle in their disgust.

“What’ll it be?” Rosanne asked with a tight smile that didn’t reach her eyes. 

Rey fought a sigh, forcing levity. “Just a flat white, extra shot. Thanks.”

A few minutes of deafening silence followed and her coffee was placed on the counter. She missed the idle banter, the affectionate digs at her east coast accent, but she knew she’d disappointed everyone and it would take time for them to treat her the way they used to. If they ever would again.

She grabbed the cardboard cup, leaving as quickly as possible, knowing that the diner would fill with hushed whispers of her name and the story of how she betrayed everyone.

It wasn’t like she did it on purpose. She fell in love despite her best efforts not to. In her most bitter moments, she resented the fact that nobody would acknowledge that peace really was her doing. John had changed because of  _ her _ , he’d convinced Joseph to make peace because of her and their relationship. Didn’t that count for something?

The peace negotiations had taken weeks of solid talks between Eden’s Gate and Hope County law. A stalemate of who would answer for what had been complicated to unravel. Montana still carried the death penalty and there wasn’t a person among them who wasn’t guilty. For every death placed at the feet of the cult, the resistance had one to match. 

Rey knew they would have to go public eventually. Her plan had originally been to keep things quiet until the county had settled, maybe convince people they’d grown close during the talks. She cursed her stupid impulses. Kissing him in public just to prove a point had lit the fuse. The gossip travelled faster than wildfire in such a small community. Friends demanded answers, staring at her like she was a stranger to them. 

Mary May treated her with a cold shoulder. Kim and Nick wanted to know why to work out if there was something else behind it all. Peggies couldn’t be trusted and there must have been a reason the Deputy married a man like that. Grace and Jess were disgusted. Hurk had been furious.

Sharky had been one of the few to treat her no differently, but he had already known. Even if he could be a headache, Rey was glad to still have him as a friend. Adelaide hadn’t been thrilled but she had been another dose of normality in a very abnormal situation.

“Aw hell, if I judged you for who you slept with I’d be the world's biggest hypocrite!” she’d laughed, nudging Rey to try and coax a smile from her, “Now, you gotta spill...John’s dick? What’s that like?”

Those few friends had become a lifeline.

Rey wandered into the station, quietly making her way to her desk. 

“Morning.” Joey greeted, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Why do you think something is wrong?” Rey asked, keeping her eyes on the computer as it started. 

“You know you have a terrible poker face, right?” Joey commented, “It’s easy to tell when something is bugging you. So come on, out with it?”

“You know what’s wrong. Why bother asking?” Rey muttered, sipping her coffee.

Joey dropped the files she was holding on her own desk. “I don’t know why you’re surprised. The Seeds and Eden’s Gate terrorised Hope County for a decade. Some people have long memories. Just because we’ve said the fighting is over, it doesn’t change feelings.”

“I know that,” Rey said, “People seem to have short memories too. I did a lot for this county and now everyone is quick to forget that.”

“Wow,” Joey laughed, “Okay, I sense some salt today.”

“I’m just saying, you and Pratt of all people had the most reason to hate me and you guys aren’t shutting me out.”

Immediately Rey knew her comment had been a mistake, Joey tensing visibly in front of her with a frown. The dark-haired woman held herself a little taller.

“Listen, I don’t have a short memory. I know exactly what you’ve done for everyone, including me, and I might joke around but that doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly A-Ok with you and John Seed!” Joey snapped, “It’s because of all the good you’ve done, and because you’re my friend, that I’m trying to work past things...but, I’m sorry, I don’t blame everyone for how they’re acting.”

Rey had sunk further down into her seat, thankful that the station was still quiet but those around who could hear them had stopped what they were doing, openly listening to Deputy Hudson and her rant. 

“Yeah. Makes sense,” Rey mumbled, her cheeks growing hot, “I’m sorry.”

Joey sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I don’t mean to nag you or whatever, it’s just...Rey, you can’t be so naive? A lot of people think the man you married is a monster and it’s going to take more than your word to change their minds.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re right.” Rey said quickly, standing with hasty, uncomfortable movements, “I think I’m going to take a walk.”

“Rey…”

“Do you need anything from the store?” Rey asked, her voice pitched as she avoided Joey’s eyes and the pity she’d find there.

“I...No. No, I don’t need anything,” Joey relented, shaking her head sadly.

“Cool. I mean they might not even serve me anyway!” Rey laughed, hollow and bitter, turning her back on the station and leaving, the door swinging behind her.

She swallowed back the lump in her throat as she walked, blinking back tears. She knew this was her doing, she’d chosen this and that made it all worse. Joey was right, she had been so naive to think that people could be as forgiving as she was. She kicked the stones as she walked along the dirt path. 

Hope County was finally at peace. Falls End was rebuilding. She had a husband who loved her, the prospect of a family of her own. Everything she’d wanted was in her grasp and it was a twisted nightmare.

Looking ahead, the church gleamed in the cool daylight. Recently repainted, Pastor Jerome had put work into rejuvenating the building. Rey felt drawn there, her feet carrying on while her mind made a decision. 

Finding herself in the doorway, Pastor Jerome was at the front of the hall. He looked up at the figure blocking the light from the door, a pleasant smile on his face.

“Deputy, so nice to see you!” The pastor smiled, “Come on in.”

“Are you sure I won’t burst into flames?” Rey asked, a nervous laugh doing nothing to mask her discomfort.

“Something on your mind, Rey?” Jerome asked as she approached. She cast her eyes to the floor, fidgeting with her fingers awkwardly.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Yes,” she muttered. 

Jerome smiled gently. “Why don’t we take a seat in my office? Come on, I just got it freshly decorated. It’ll be nice to have a guest!”

He placed a comforting arm around her shoulder, walking her towards the renovated room. The fresh paint and new furniture gleamed in the light that streamed through the window. It was airy, comforting and so safe, Rey couldn’t help but smile. She sat down on the sofa by the wall.

“What’s been going on?” Jerome asked, taking a seat himself.

Rey looked to the ceiling, her face scrunching almost comically as she tried to put words to her problems. Eventually, she sighed.

“Do you really need to ask? I’m sure you’ve heard by now.”

“I don’t really like to pay attention to gossip,” Jerome said, “But I may have heard something about your marital status. Is it true?”

Rey held up her hand, the delicate rose gold band glinting in the light. “It’s true.”

“Well, then I believe congratulations are in order!” Jerome smiled.

Rey blinked back at him in disbelief. “You might be one of the only people who has said that to me. In fact, you’re one of the only people who hasn’t treated me like I’m a traitor or like I’ve lost my damn mind.”

“I’ll admit it was certainly a surprise when I found out but...a union under God is something to be celebrated,” he said diplomatically.

Rey frowned. “You know, you can tell me how you really feel, Jerome. The Seeds took so much from you, I wouldn’t be surprised if you hated me too.”

“Rey, people don’t  _ hate _ you,” He stressed, taking in her sceptical expression, “Alright...some might. For most of your friends, their reaction comes from a place of concern. They’re afraid for you. They haven’t seen the side of John Seed that you clearly have. This is a safe space and I’m not here to judge...so, get it off your chest.”

Rey took a deep breath, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hands. “I just...I don’t know what else I can say. I fell in love. Against my better judgement, I fell in love. John doesn’t expect anything from me, he doesn’t put me on this pedestal...he just lets me be me and I know he’s done some fucked up shit, but he’s not what everyone thinks.” she rambled, almost tripping over her words as she finally voiced her frustrations. 

“I assumed as much,” Jerome commented. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, you must have seen something in him, something worth forgiving and loving,” he explained, “You’re a good person, Rey. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

“I don’t know what to do, Jerome.” she sighed, “I really thought that the County was ready for peace, to move on. I’ve never felt so...so...cast out.”

Jerome placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Times are changing. At the moment people are...transitioning. They’ve been used to living on their guard for so long that peace and trust is a scary prospect. You may need to accept that with some, your relationship is never going to be the same.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of…”

“ _ But _ ...the people who love you, who know you, will eventually grow to understand,” he finished, “I’m not saying it’s going to be a quick process. Healing takes time.”

“So what you’re saying is that I just need to wait all this out?” she groaned, “Hide up at the ranch until some new gossip takes over?”

“Not quite. Although I’m sure Ms Drubman is more than willing to take that bullet,” he chuckled, “I don’t think you should hide, that’s not like you. You’ve done so much for this county. The people will remember that soon enough.”

Rey reluctantly smiled, although she felt no better. “What about you? How do you feel about peace?”

Jerome looked thoughtful. “I think that in order to move on, we must be willing to show forgiveness. Holding a grudge will only lead to a life of misery and I’d like my soul unburdened.”

“That’s a nice way of seeing things,” Rey said, “Well, thank you for the talk. I think I really needed that.”

“You’re welcome. Keep your chin up, Deputy. The world could use your optimism now more than ever,” He smiled, walking her towards the door of the church, “Tell you what, why don’t you and your...husband come by for Sunday service?”

“Oh, I don’t know…”

“I know, I know...I’m sure Joseph will have his own sermon to deliver but think about it, please. It might do some good for everyone to see you here.”

Reluctantly, Rey nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I can ask.”

00000

“Tell me again why we’re doing this?” John asked as he watched himself in the mirror, buttoning up his slate grey shirt until he was happy with how the collar sat.

“We’re going because Pastor Jerome invited us personally and right now, we need all the goodwill we can get!” Rey reminded him, smoothing the arms of her cream coloured wool sweater. 

John snorted, rolling the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows. “I’m telling you, folk will think what they want.”

“Yes, they will,” she agreed, “but there’s no hard in trying to foster a little goodwill now that everything is peaceful, don’t you think?”

“Whatever you want, angel,” John smiled, fixing his sleeves. When he was done, Rey grabbed his hand to pull him out towards their car. 

She didn’t say much on the drive towards Falls End, but he could see the tension behind her eyes. Her knuckles were white on the steering wheel as they approached the small town. When they stopped, he reached over to the wheel, grabbing her hand.

“Hey, look at me,” he demanded gently. Rey turned her head to face him, her eyes pensive, “It’s going to be fine, alright?”

“It’s going to be fine,” She repeated, following him out of the car.

They were some of the last to approach the doors, Pastor Jerome standing to greet his congregation. He smiled widely at Rey as she approached.

“Rey, I’m so pleased you could join us,” his smile was far more reserved when he turned to address her husband, “John, thank you for coming today,” he said politely, offering his hand.

John regarded the offering cautiously before he accepted, shaking the Pastors hand in a silent truce. 

“Thank you for having me,” he replied, the perfect picture of civility. 

“Please, go and grab a seat. We’re about to begin.”

Rey felt that familiar dread churning in the pit of her stomach. The feeling of John’s hand in hers was a comfort at least, but she couldn’t help wondering if such a small thing would make the situation worse. The thought made her pause. He was her husband, she’d chosen him and she was sick of being treated like a pariah for her decision. She could feel him squeezing her hand as she straightened her back, boldly looking everyone who dared stare at them directly in the eye. 

“Rey! Down here, sweetie!” 

From the front of the church, the second pew from the front, Adelaide was waving happily and pointing to two spaces she had saved at the end. Rey couldn’t help but smile, John following behind her to their seats. She held her breath as they passed a couple, the man’s knuckles pale as he flinched to stand, his wife’s hand on his arm holding him down. The last thing she wanted was a fight in Jerome’s church. Adelaide reached forward, grabbing John by the wrist to pull him in first.

“You’re sittin’ next to me, darlin’!” She grinned, John looking back to Rey in a silent cry for help.

Rey settled onto the end of the pew, wrapping around his arm as Pastor Jerome took his place at the front of the hall. Her stomach was still in knots.

“It’s wonderful to see you all here on this beautiful Sunday morning,” Jerome said, his bright smile addressing the room, “Today, I think it would be a good time to talk about forgiveness. It can be a struggle for all of us. Holding a grudge might feel natural to you, but it is Matthew 6: 14-15 who says ‘For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins’. There is not a single person in this room who has not committed some of the gravest sins.”

The congregation shifted uncomfortably, squirming in their seats and glancing at one another, guilt written in their features as Jerome paused to let his words sink in.

“And yet if we can find it in our hearts to forgive, we ourselves will be forgiven in the eyes of the Lord,” He smiled gently, “If I might quote another great spiritual leader, Buddha says ‘holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other to die’. Peace has finally come to our home, don’t we owe it to ourselves to find peace within as well? If we turn to page…”

Rey picked up the bible from the pew in front, turning to the page Jerome instructed, sharing the book with John.

When the sermon had finished, slowly people began to file out of the church, Jerome saying his farewells at the door. 

“You didn’t have to do that, you know?” Rey smiled gratefully. 

Jerome shrugged but there was a sparkle in his eye. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about Deputy,” he smiled, “but you’re welcome. I hope you try and stop by more often. You’re  _ both _ more than welcome.”

Heading down the steps, still holding John’s hand, Rey felt lighter than she had in weeks. Sure there were still whispers and dirty looks thrown their way, but she was sick of hiding. If they wanted to say something, they could say it to her face.

“Rey!” 

She turned just as they were ready to climb into their car to see Kim Rye walking up to them, Nick hanging back behind her. She cast a nervous glance towards John before she spoke.

“We, uh...we’re thinking of starting our weekly barbecue again from next Sunday afternoon,” she said, her voice wavering, “Thought it might be a good idea. Try to get the community spirit back.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely a good plan,” Rey replied awkwardly. After their initial talk, she had barely spoken to the Rye family, Kim and Nick both saying they needed space to think. “I hope you guys have a good time.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you!” Kim said quickly, stopping Rey from turning to her car, “We wanted to invite you...and John. All of the Seed’s actually and some of their followers. They used to be our neighbours after all…”

Rey glanced past Kim’s shoulder at Nick, the man standing with his arms folded looking thunderstruck. “I take it Nick isn’t too impressed with this idea?”

“You know Nick, he’ll come around,” Kim smiled. Without warning, she darted forward, grabbing Rey in a fierce hug. Her body tensed with surprise, “Please come along...we miss you.”

Rey relaxed into the hug, patting the smaller woman on the back.

“We’ll be there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments actively encouraged. I love reading them and knowing folk read these updates!


	29. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Rey deal with the aftermath of a devastating loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set two years after they leave the bunker and set up Prosperity.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Loss of Pregnancy, Infertility, Marriage tensions, angst
> 
> There's nothing graphic at all but due to the subject matter, I completely understand if people aren't comfortable reading this chapter.

“You look tired.”

Tired was an understatement and John appreciated that Jacob was one of the few people not treating him any differently. Since the news, the atmosphere around the main walls of Prosperity had felt uncomfortably stifling. He knew people meant well, but he hated the sympathetic head tilts and the sad eyes thrown his way when they asked how he was coping.

“I am,” John replied, joining his brother sitting on Prosperity’s wall. He looked out over their community, fires and string lights beginning to flicker to life outside the homes of their people.

Jacob looked his youngest brother up and down before he spoke again. “I told you, I can take over some more duties here. You know I don’t mind. Everyone will understand.”

“No, I need the distraction.” John said shortly, “I...I just need to keep busy.”

Jacob shook his head. “What you need to do is be with your family right now. How is Rey doing?”

“I wish I could tell you,” John replied honestly, “Sometimes she acts like nothing happened...other days she looks at me like I’m a stranger. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what I can say or how to fix things,”

“You can’t fix this one, Johnny,” Jacob said, resting a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder, “This isn’t a situation to be fixed. It needs to be worked through. I wish there was something I could do or say to make it easier.”

“Violet is so aware of things, she knows something is wrong,” John said, “She’s asking questions that I don’t have answers to. She doesn’t understand why her Mom isn’t...acting like her Mom.”

The brothers fell into silence. Jacob had never lost something as precious and he didn’t have anything more than clichèd words of comfort. That wasn’t what John needed. So he stayed quiet, hoping that just being there would help in some way.

“I suppose I should go and get her,” John said, his voice flat as he stood, “Sun is going down.”

Jacob only nodded, giving John’s shoulder a squeeze. 

It had been weeks since it happened. His idyllic life felt like it had been torn apart in the space of a single afternoon. He’d never felt so helpless watching her as she broke her heart, refusing to leave their room for the first week. When she finally emerged, Rey was a shadow of her former self. She barely ate, rarely spoke, refusing to even see friends. 

What hurt the most had been the rift that had opened between them. Before, she told him everything. Now, every time she looked at him her eyes were hollow like she was looking past him.

John left Prosperity, following the path down towards the old boat launch. It was a peaceful spot, one that Rey frequented when she needed to be alone. 

“Hey,” 

His voice made her jump, pulling her from the maze of her thoughts as she stared at the running water. She blinked up at him, her profile streaked by the last of the daylight filtering through the trees. She looked pale, he thought.

“Oh, hey,” she replied uncomfortably, “What are you doing here?”

John fought the indignation rising as well as the hurt at her tone. It wasn’t the first time she’d been short with him over the weeks. He didn’t want to blame her, he knew she was just wounded, but her tone was beginning to work on his last frayed nerves.

“It’s getting dark,” he said, fixing a tight smile to his face, “It’s not the safest out here when it’s dark. Joseph should be arriving tomorrow with Faith too. Thought you might want to, I dunno, get some rest.”

Rey nodded silently, pushing herself to stand to brush the dirt from her jeans. “Okay, guess it’s time I got back then,”

Her arms wrapped defensively around her body, she began to walk past him, barely acknowledging he was in her path.

“Rey…”

“We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow…”

“Rey…”

“Addie said something about those generators, I think they’ll need maintenance…”

“Rey, will you just stop and look at me?!” John snapped, reaching out to grab her shoulders tightly, his face desperate, “Will you actually talk to me?”

Rey stared at him, her eyes wide, haunted with emotions she wasn’t ready to face. He sighed, letting go of her shoulders like he’d been scalded, the pair standing alone in the dying light.

“I...I don’t know what you want me to say,” she mumbled, holding herself tightly. 

A lump was forming in his throat, choking his words, making it hard to take a breath as his eyes stung. 

“Rey...we lost our baby.” Saying it out loud felt like a knife being twisted in his gut, the pain of it spreading to every limb as tears spilt over his lashes, “We need to talk about it. Please, you can’t keep shutting me out like this. I know you’re hurting…”

Something in her expression sharpened, his words like a cold slap in the face. She scowled, her tears leaving silvery trails down her cheeks.

“You know?” She cried, “You have no idea how it felt, to know that I was losing our child and I couldn’t do a fucking thing about it! Then being told that’s it, we can’t even try again? You have no idea!”

She tried to walk past him again, desperate for the conversation to end, where she could hide in blissful ignorance that her world wasn’t on fire but John grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

“Don’t tell me how I feel!” John shouted, feeling the pressure from weeks of agony finally rise to the surface, “I had to watch you in agony. I’m trying to keep it together for the sake of our daughter! You might not want to hear this but I lost a child too, Rey, and I can’t deal with this alone!”

“You...you’re not…”

“Really?” He laughed bitterly, “You look at me like I’m a stranger. I’m your husband. We have been through everything together and then some! I can’t do this anymore. I need you, Violet needs you.”

Rey glared at him, her eyes red and lip trembling, the only sounds from their ragged breathing and the rushing of the water. Suddenly she took a deep, shuddering breath.

“I just...I don’t understand,”

“What don’t you understand, tell me.” John begged, “Let me at least try,”

She’d always lived her life a certain way. Staying positive, being optimistic and upbeat was ingrained in her personality. She was the girl with the smile, with a sunny outlook on life but things were different now. How was she to make sense of something so tragic when she’d done nothing to deserve it? 

It didn’t feel fair.

“If everything happens for a reason...what’s the reason for this?” She asked helplessly, her voice thick, “I don’t...I don’t understand. What did I do to deserve this?!”

She’d barely noticed that her legs were about to give way, or that he’d caught her, lowering them both to the ground as she clung to him tightly. Fingers coiled in the fabric of his sweater, his own tears ran unchecked as she wailed loudly, the sorrowful sounds muffled by his body.

It hurt, it hurt so much but it was the catharsis they both needed. He said nothing because what could he say? What else could he do except hold her tightly, letting her cry until her keening had ebbed to nothing more than sniffles and eventually silence, both basking in the mutual reassurance that they weren’t alone.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. He almost missed the words, her face still buried in the crook of his neck.

“For what?” 

He could barely see her face now the sun had gone down, making out only her puffy eyes and hoarse voice. 

He was grieving the loss as well, all while trying to take care of the responsibilities she was ignoring. She’d abandoned her husband when he needed her. The intensity of her grief had subsided and left her with nothing but shame and guilt over the way she’d treated him.

“I...I think this is my fault,” she rasped, her throat exhausted, “I did this.”

John grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “No,” he said sternly, “This is not your fault. It isn’t anybody's fault...it’s just…”

What was it? Fate? God’s plan? There was nothing he could say to give rhyme or reason to their loss.

“Sometimes there is no reason,” he concluded, “And it’s awful. The worst happens and we’re left trying to figure it out. God, I wish I had the answer for you, but I don’t.”

“I know,” she sniffed, tucking her head back under his chin. “I didn’t mean to treat you that way, I'm just so...lost.” 

His legs were turning numb but he didn’t care. He needed the connection, the closeness and finally, he felt like she did too. 

“We can’t have any more children,” she breathed.

She hadn’t said it out loud yet and the words felt strange on her tongue. The medical equipment salvaged from the bunker wasn’t in the best shape, but it was enough for their doctor to confirm the worst. 

It had all been a bad dream, like floating through a fog, but somehow finally voicing the news made everything feel more real. She felt John shift, kissing her crown.

“We can’t have any more children,” he repeated, his voice breaking. 

“I don’t know what to do, John,” she confessed quietly, “I...I don’t know what happens now. I’ve never felt so out of control before,”

He brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. 

“We’re going to say goodbye,” John replied gently, “Properly, with the family here. I think it’ll give us some closure”

Rey nodded, savouring the safety she felt having him close again. “I missed you,” she admitted, kissing his neck.

John shuddered at the contact, smiling for the first time in weeks. “I love you. Nothing changes that,” he said, “but please...don’t shut me out. I can’t handle it.”

“I won’t. I promise,”

Rey shivered, the passing breeze rustling the trees around them, John coming to his senses and realising that they were still sitting on the ground in the open.

“We should go inside. At least get near a fire,” he commented, “It’s getting cold now that the sun is gone.”

The goosebumps on her bare arms agreed. Awkwardly, Rey clambered from his lap, John standing and stretching out his aching limbs. 

It wasn’t perfect. She still felt the ache in her chest, but the weight of her grief didn’t feel quite so acute. He was her husband. He was there to share the load. They’d work through it together. His arm hung around her shoulders as they walked back towards their home, her hand gripping him tightly around the waist. 

00000

The service was beautiful.

It was small, only family and close friends but the outpouring of love and support from their community had been overwhelming. 

Joseph had said a beautiful verse, flowers had been laid on an empty grave illuminated by candles. John was right, it was closure. Even though it hurt to do, it was saying goodbye to the child they’d never know. 

For the rest of the day, the mood of Prosperity was sombre but not as tense as it had been. Instead of walking on eggshells, people were respectfully quiet, giving the family space to digest their day.

The Seed family and a handful of friends were sitting around the fireplace, Jacob telling a story of times before the collapse. Violet sat on Rey’s lap, completely enthralled by her Uncle’s story while her mother held her close. 

John watched them from his place near the door with a small, sad smile on his face, Joseph standing with him.

“Thank you for coming today,” John said. 

Joseph looked surprised. “We disagreed on how to live, but you’re still my brother, John,” he replied kindly, “Family is always going to be important.”

“Is this where you tell me it’s all in God's plan?” John said, quickly regretting his bitter tone, “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that…”

“It’s alright. No, I wasn’t. Go and be with your wife.” Joseph said kindly.

John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. A headache had settled between his eyes for the past hour, pressure from countless tears. He felt like he could sleep for a year and maybe things would be easier when he woke.

Quietly, so as not to interrupt Jacob’s story, John sat behind Rey on the floor, pulling her back to the safety of his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated long and hard about adding this element to Rey's character and canon. I decided to for a few reasons, the main one being is that miscarriage and resulting infertility is actually very common. It's something thousands of couples deal with every day and I feel talking about it should be normalised. From a character point of view, Rey and John have actually had very little that tests them as a couple past the original conflict.
> 
> As always, comments and feedback feed me!


	30. Boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after leaving the bunker, John faces his most daunting challenge...his 16-year-old daughter is going on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's canon - Set after they've left the bunker and set up Prosperity.
> 
> Chapter warnings: John feeling old

John’s hip ached.

If he was feeling honest, everything ached. There wasn’t a day went by that something on his body didn’t hurt. On this particular morning, it was his hip. Five years ago, when trying to help with essential repairs, he’d taken a nasty spill from the top of the Prosperity wall. The dislocation had been straightforward to put back in but it had given him trouble ever since. 

“Hmm. Guess it’s going to rain,” he mumbled to himself, groaning at the aching joint as he rolled out of bed. 

Their bedroom wasn’t exactly as they’d left it all those years ago. After 17 years of nuclear winter and decay, it was amazing the buildings had been standing it all. With the help of Jacob, they’d salvaged what they could, re-building and turning the land around them into a thriving community. 

John wandered towards the washroom, rubbing a hand over the tired face that stared back at him in the mirror. If it wasn’t painful joints telling him he wasn’t a young man anymore, the silver streaking his hair and peppering his beard did the job. A fresh bucket of water sat by his feet and he smiled. At least one of his girls had taken care of him that morning. He splashed his face with the cold liquid, cursing that his crows' feet didn’t wash away.

The perils of being 49.

Concluding he was as presentable as he would get, John dressed and headed down the stairs into the main room of the house. Their bedrooms were off-limits and considered private, but downstairs was the hub of Prosperity life and people were given free rein. He nodded good morning to those in the room, heading outside into the sunshine to find his wife sitting on one of the large rocks with Hurk Drubman.

The man had survived the collapse by making it to Jacob’s bunker but the number of times Jacob had threatened to exile him had been lost over the years. Jacob still avoided Hurk at all costs.

“And I’m just sayin’ if we find something out there that resembles a monkey-”

“Hurk, please, it’s not even noon,” Rey interrupted, sipping her strictly rationed coffee, “I only get one cup of this a day, can I please enjoy it?”

“Morning, angel,” John approached, bending down to gently kiss her hello, wincing as he straightened again. 

Rey rested her head against his thigh, “Good morning, handsome. What hurts today?”

“My hip,” John grumbled, “Remember when we used to run around the county, rolling down river banks…”

“Age catches up with us all, Johnny Boy,” She grinned, “Just think…you’re 50 this year.”

“I think you’ll find it’s the first anniversary of my 49th birthday and I’m going to be young forever,” he replied haughtily.

Rey beamed up at him. She was a year behind in age but only a few silver hairs had begun to creep in, her laughter lines a little deeper. Not that it mattered to John. She was still the upbeat, smart woman he’d clashed with so long ago and he considered himself the luckiest man in the new world that she was his.

Without Rey, Prosperity wouldn’t have been what it was. Jacob knew how to survive, John knew how to influence people and between them, the brother’s had an idea of how to put together a working settlement. Rey helped make it a community. A family. 

“What’s on the agenda today?” She asked.

“Jacob wants me to come with him to look at some of the farmland outside the walls. He’s thinking of creating a second perimeter around the area. Keep some of our people’s homes and crops a little safer,” John said. 

Glancing up, across the stretch of grass by the gardens, John spied his daughter. Violet had grown from a bright, curious toddler running around the bunker to a sharp, beautiful 16-year-old girl. She paid attention to everything, determined to learn as much about the world as she could, old and new. Leaning against a support beam, she was talking to a boy around her age. 

“Who is Violet talking to?” John asked, his eyes narrowing. 

“That’s Jonah. You remember, Marcus’ son?” She said, standing from her rock. 

Violet was laughing at something, her pretty giggle floating towards them on the morning breeze as she played with a piece of her long, dark hair. John pouted.

“I don’t like that boy.”

“You couldn’t remember who he was two seconds ago,” Rey scoffed.

“I know who he is,” John snorted, “He’s a teenage boy talking to my daughter.”

Rey grabbed his hand, pulling him inside the building away from curious ears. “There’s something I actually do need to talk to you about.”

“I don’t like this segue, Rey,” John said, his tone laced with a warning.

“Violet has asked about going on a date,” She said cautiously, “With Johna.”

John blinked at her, his expression eerily blank as Rey waved her hand in front of his eyes.

“John? Holy shit is _this_ what it took to make you speechless?”

“Violet wants to go on a date?” He asked, his voice oddly high and uneven, “With a boy?”

“It seems that way, yes,” Rey confirmed, “Apparently he asked her a few days ago…”

“No!” He snapped, “No way. I know teenage boys and my daughter is _not_ going on a date!”

“Will you let me finish?” Rey scowled, “He asked her on a date and she told him she wants to but she wanted to ask you first!”

John paused, the ferocity draining from him all at once. “She did?” he asked sheepishly.

“Yes, she did. Come on, John. Violet is a smart girl,” Rey said proudly, “Not to mention, we’ve known Johna since he was born!”

John sighed, rubbing his beard in thought. “Why didn’t she come and ask me herself?”

“Honestly? She was scared of how you’d react,” Rey replied gently. 

John opened his mouth to speak but could think of nothing to say. Crestfallen, he stumbled back to a chair, sitting down heavily.

“She’s scared of me?” he said quietly, “I...I don’t want her to be scared of me, I’m her father.”

Rey pushed him upright in his seat, sitting on his lap with a comforting smile. “She’s not scared of _you_. Violet loves you more than anything in the whole world. She just wants to make you proud.”

“I’m always proud of her,” he said firmly.

Sometimes he could barely believe that he’d raised such a person. The day she was born he’d vowed to protect his girls until the day he died and as far as he was concerned, there would never be another man for the job but with every year that passed, Violet was growing up. John sighed with defeat, patting Rey on the behind so she’d stand.

“I’m going to go into the hanger for a while,” John said, his voice lifeless, “If Jacob comes looking for me, send him there.”

“Are you alright?” Rey asked with concern.

John nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Fine,” He dismissed, kissing his wife on the cheek. 

Of all the areas of the ranch that still reminded him of before, the hanger was his most treasured. It had been the only thing he’d insisted on keeping for himself. When they’d found it almost completely intact, he considered it a miracle from God. Affirmation hadn’t been in great shape. In fact, the poor plane had been more rust and decay than anything but John had been moved to tears knowing it had been there the whole time. 

He patted Affirmation on its dilapidated wing with a sad smile. The bird would never fly again but it was his to tinker with as he pleased. John pushed up the sleeves of his navy sweater, reaching for his toolbox. He’d barely got into the engine when he heard a voice.

“Hey, Dad,”

John looked up from his task. Violet was standing by the propeller, smiling at him but he could see the nerves in her eyes. 

“Hey, sweetheart,”

“Do you need any help?” she asked hopefully. Whenever he’d come to the hanger, Violet had been his shadow as a child, fascinated by the machine she’d never seen before. 

John shook his head, putting down the screwdriver he’d been holding and grabbing an old rag to wipe his hands. “No, it’s alright. Honestly, I don’t really know what I had planned. Until Marcus finds that part, I don’t think this engine is going to run.”

“Oh, okay,” Violet said awkwardly, “Mom said I’d find you in here.”

“Did she?” he commented, “Do you need something kiddo?”

“You only call me ‘kiddo’ when you’re mad at me,” Violet mumbled. 

“No, I don’t,”

“Yes, you do!” Violet protested, “Every time I’ve done something worth getting in trouble for, you’re always there like ‘We need to talk about this, kiddo!’”

John sighed, wandering over to the stool by the old workbench, sitting himself down. “I’m not mad at you,” he relented, “I’m just...Violet, I’m your Dad. It’s my job to worry about you.”

“I know…”

“The idea that you’re old enough to go off on your own is pretty jarring,” he said honestly, “It feels like only yesterday you were clinging to my leg when we were leaving the bunker. You should know that you can tell me or ask me anything?”

Violet approached her father with an apology in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to get you upset it’s just...you know how you and Uncle Jake get. I thought it might be easier if Mom laid the groundwork first.”

“You’re my only child. I’m allowed to be protective of you,” he said quietly, running his hand through his hair, “This boy. What’s he like?”

“His Mom and Dad have been part of Eden’s Gate before the collapse. You know them!” she said enthusiastically, “Johna is nice, I swear. He’s very respectful and polite.”

John could have guessed as much. Of course, he’d known the boy’s father for years now. Rey had saved his life long ago and since then, he’d been considered a loyal friend to the Seed family. Now, outside of the bunker, Marcus was instrumental in managing Prosperity’s agriculture. 

“I’d expect as much,” John said reluctantly. 

Violet was staring at him silently with her big blue eyes, her expression leaving him with no choice. He’d never been able to say no to her when she broke out that look.

“Where is he planning on taking you?” 

Violet’s eyes lit up, knowing she’d tipped her father’s opinion towards yes. “He just wants to go for a walk down by the river together.”

John was quiet, watching his daughter thoughtfully as she squirmed in front of him, eagerly waiting for his verdict. 

“Alright, you can go…”

“Oh my God!”

“But there are some rules!” John added, “Be home before midnight, stick to the path and your mother and I meet him properly first.”

Violet squealed happily, throwing herself at her father to hug him tightly. John held his daughter close, pressing a kiss to her crown.

“I don’t want you afraid to tell me things,” John said as she pulled away, “I’m not as scary as I used to be. I think I’ve mellowed in my old age!”

Violet snorted.

00000

A calm evening was just what he needed. 

Two glasses of homemade wine in his hand, John made his way up the stairs to their favourite spot on Prosperity’s wall where Rey was already sitting enjoying the view of the sun going down over the valley. 

“What fruit is this one made from then?” Rey asked, accepting the glass from him as he sat down on the cushions next to her.

“Unsure,” he answered, sniffing the liquid, “Jacob didn’t say but it’s definitely more drinkable than the last batch. His techniques are getting better!”

“They can’t get any worse. The last stuff could have powered those old generators for weeks,” Rey said. She glanced at her husband with a knowing smile, “You doing alright? You still seem a little tense.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m...just fine.”

“Spoken like a man who is not at all fine,” she grinned, nudging him in the ribs, “Come on, handsome. You met the boy, you said you liked him.”

Hours ago, Violet had brought Johna to them for an official introduction. He had been respectful, had called him Mr Seed and shaken his hand. John didn’t miss the fear in his eyes when he gripped his fingers tightly. Poor Johna had been trembling to begin with. 

But Johna had done the right thing, he’d been brave enough to meet John and that was enough for now. He was hardly about to say no at the last minute. It would have broken his daughter's heart.

“I know I did, I stand by it,” John shrugged, looking out over the landscape, “But that was when he was in my house and I could see what he was doing. Now he’s out there, with my only child and I can’t keep an eye on them.”

“I’m sure your reputation will be enough to keep him in line,” Rey smirked, “I know you’re very protective of her, but she’ll be fine.”

“It’s my job to look after my family,” he said firmly, “I failed once, I won’t again.”

“You didn’t fail, John,” Rey said gently, pressing a kiss to his cheek and snuggling against his side. 

They rarely spoke about their loss anymore. It had been years now and nobody had been to blame but she knew he still considered it a failure on his part as a husband and father, no matter how much she said otherwise. 

“Do you remember our first date?” Rey asked, abruptly changing the subject to something lighter in tone. The evening was too beautiful to think of painful memories. 

John cast his eyes upwards, thinking hard. “Hmm. I remember you turning up in my bedroom…”

“It’s not like you turned me down,” Rey pointed out, “Besides you kissed me first and wasn’t it you who turned up at my door the second time?”

“I don’t recall,” John smirked, sipping his drink innocently.

“Yes you do, you liar!” She laughed, “You have a memory like a steel trap!”

“Old age catches up to us all, darling! But I still remember how beautiful you looked on our wedding day. Standing in the snow, freezing to the bone for the sake of your dress…”

“Worth it. It was a beautiful dress.” Rey declared proudly, “You were so handsome in that grey suit.”

He grasped her chin, kissing her gently under the blanket of stars. The taste of alcohol lingered on her tongue, his other hand melting into her hair. John leaned his forehead against hers.

“We’ve done okay, right?”

“I’d say so,” Rey agreed, playfully looking towards the house, “You know, Violet is going to be a while...we’ve not had any real _quality time_ without anyone around…”

“Bedroom?” he grinned wolfishly.

“Only if you think your hip can handle it?” she teased, draining her glass to stand, helping pull him to his feet.

His hip ached but he fought the groan for the sake of his pride.

00000

The fireplace crackled in front of him, a pleasant, gentle glow cast over what used to be his sitting room. 

John swirled the amber liquid in his glass. His private reserve of scotch was almost completely done, but tonight he felt like treating himself. Sitting in front of the fire after most had gone to sleep was a favourite pastime of his. It reminded him of his old life, before the collapse, giving him a sense of normality they weren’t often granted in the new world. Of course that night there was another reason he was staying up. Violet walked through the front door as John checked the clock on the wall.

“Fifteen minutes early,” he commented, “I’m impressed.”

“Waiting up for me, Dad?” Violet asked with amusement colouring her question.

John patted the chair next to him, his daughter taking up space in front of the fire. 

“I’ll have you know I often like to stay up for a nightcap,” he answered, “Well?”

“Well...what?” Violet said bashfully, tucking her hair behind her ears.

“How was it?”

“Dad…” Violet groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Alright fine,” he laughed, “Don’t tell me. I’ll just find out from your mother,”

“It was...fine,” Violet shrugged, “He’s nice, I guess.”

“Fine? Ouch. Hardly a glowing review,” John winced dramatically, “Fine is one of the most brutal descriptions in the English language,”

Violet shrugged again. “I guess I just liked the idea of going on a date more than the actual date. He was nice but kinda boring. I think I just like him as a friend. Is that weird?”

“No, it’s not weird,” John said, shaking his head, “I won’t say I’m upset you feel that way though.”

Violet smiled, standing to hug her father where he sat. “Don’t worry Dad, you’re still my number one guy! I’m going to go to bed,” she kissed John on the cheek, “Goodnight Dad.”

“Sleep well, sweetheart.”

Violet gave him a final squeeze, making her way to the stairs, heading for her bedroom.

John sipped his scotch, a smug smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love 💖


	31. Tattoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey had never wanted a tattoo. John had other ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **timeline** Rey's canon - Set before Rey and John first kiss. Rey's version of the scene in the church.
> 
> Chapter warning - Skinning, Tattooing, John being dramatic.

“How come you ain’t got no tattoos?”

Rey looked up from oiling her gun, surprised at Hurk’s sudden question. The quiet afternoon sitting at the back of Rye and Son’s Aviation was just what she’d needed, basking in the sun with a handful of friends, hidden away from any fighting. After her escape from John's bunker weeks ago, she still needed the downtime to recollect herself and her thoughts.

“How do you know I don’t have any?” Rey replied playfully, “You haven’t seen my whole body!”

“That you know of!” Hurk laughed, “Oh man, sorry Dep, that was way creepier than I meant it to be.”

“It’s fine,” She sniggered, “I don’t know. I guess I just never found anything I cared enough about to get permanently put on my skin. This one time at the academy some of us were super drunk and I was almost convinced to get something but the guy at the tattoo shop said no. I’m so glad he did. Can you imagine me with some lame butterfly or something?”

“Really? You never wanted something for New York or being a cop?” Hurk pressed.

Rey shook her head. “I thought about it but nothing struck a chord you know?” she shrugged.

Nick nodded his agreement. “I’m with Rey on this one. Tattoos are personal and if you’re gonna live with it forever, you should be happy. Taking them off is damn sure harder than putting them there in the first place!”

“See, Nick gets it!” Rey smiled smugly, beginning to put her D50 back together.

“Nah man! That’s the fun of tattoos. You like paper clips? You can get a paper clip on your arm!” Hurk scoffed, “Hell, I might do just that...right here under the heart I got for my Momma.”

“Because you love paper clips as much as your Mom?” Rey deadpanned, dreading the answer.

“Sometime you should come round and see my guy!” Hurk said, ignoring her question, “We’ll get you somethin’ real cute!”

Rey shook her head but smiled, wondering what Hurk would consider a cute tattoo.

“Thank you, but I’ll pass.”

The subject was never brought up again.

00000

“Your actions have consequences, Deputy. I’ve gathered all your friends here in Falls End to atone for your sins. You’re welcome to join us. After all, if it wasn’t for you they wouldn’t be in this predicament. This is your last chance to say yes, Deputy...don’t be late.”

His arrogant drawl through the radio made Rey’s blood boil and she hated the twinge of attraction that she’d been fighting since she’d escaped his bunker. Her heart thundered painfully against her ribs as she raced her way to Falls End, tyres spinning on the dirt. She had been sure John was all bark and no bite, but his previous display made her think twice. Honestly, his actions at the bunker had scared her more than she'd wanted to admit. The streets were empty, the bell ringing ominously through the roads as she approached the church.

He’d fucking _decorated._

Flowers had been woven through the wooden arch over the path, petals scattered over the ground like a wedding. There was even a red carpet. It was _almost_ beautiful if you could ignore the dead birds pinned to the front of the building. Rey’s lip curled. It was so extra. It was so John.

“Dramatic fucker,” she muttered, approaching the door.

Her hand paused before she grabbed the latch, anxiety twisting her gut in knots. She’d lost a lot of sleep over her conflicted thoughts. There was no denying that he was losing his grip, becoming more unhinged but somehow, she could still see hints of the man she’d met before they’d kicked the hornet's nest. Even when he was growling down her radio or having her dragged into his bunker, there was a charisma she couldn’t deny and she hated herself more for it every day.

There was no way of getting it off her chest, nobody would understand. She shook her head, physically trying to displace her thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to start wrestling her inner demons. Not when she had a very real one inside the building she was going to bitchslap into next year.

She opened the door and was met with the butt of a peggie rifle.

00000

Something on her chest was burning.

A path was being dragged down her skin, stinging in a peculiar way. It wasn’t a knife. Whatever it was seemed to be paired with a high pitched buzzing, the device vibrating against her sternum. 

Rey’s eyes opened slowly, focusing on John as he hovered above her with a tattoo gun in his hand.

_Motherfucker…_

Instinctively, her hand shot out, grabbing his forearm tightly. The peggies around him stood to attention, pointing their guns directly at her head.

“Hold still,” John demanded shortly, “It’s supposed to say ‘Wrath’ not…’Wrat’!”

There was no use fighting it this time. John was straddling her body, his weight pinning her to the ground as he tattooed her sin to her chest. He was no practised artist, the needle dragging across her skin, blood and ink mingling together. It smeared down her chest, John haphazardly wiping it away to see what he was doing. The fresh scar he’d created throbbed and Rey grit her teeth, swallowing back her anger. She refused to cry in front of him.

“Ah, perfect!” John grinned proudly, dropping the tattoo gun. 

His weight shifted from her, standing to address the room with his own dramatic flair. Hands wrapped around her arms, two peggies hauled her to her feet and dragged her to the front of the hall. She locked eyes with her friends, with Nick and Mary May. Jerome already had blood on his chest, a scar where a patch of skin had been removed. 

“If Mohammed won’t come to the mountain then the mountain must come to Mohammed!” John announced theatrically, “Let’s begin! I thought having some friendly faces here might make your atonement easier,”

“How very thoughtful of you,” Rey growled, “John, what are you doing? Let these people go!”

“I am seeing that the will of the Father is done,” John said, “All sinners must confess and you, my darling, are the worst of them all. This is your doing!”

“Don’t call me that!” Rey snapped, ignoring the fluttering his term of endearment caused, “This isn’t _my_ doing. Everything I’ve done in the valley has been in self-defence. _You’ve_ been extorting people, driving them from their homes, kidnapping-”

“Yes, yes, so you keep saying and honestly, the broken record thing is getting boring,” John smiled, “You’re only delaying the inevitable,” He turned to Nick, “Let’s get started. Our devoted, we are gathered to bear witness to those willing to confess their sins. Will you, Nick Rye place your hand upon the word of Joseph?”

He pushed Jerome forward, forcing him to hold out the book.

“Na, fuck this!” Nick growled, “I ain’t doing a damn thing!” 

Rey held her breath watching the pilot spit directly in John’s face. Incredulous, John only laughed, wiping it away before he turned back to Nick with a wicked glint in his cold eyes.

“There it is...greed,” he said, tutting like a disappointed parent, “Always thinking of yourself,”

The tension in the air was growing, palpable like the feeling of an oncoming thunderstorm, clogging the air, making it harder to breathe. She pulled at her captors, the two men holding her tightly so tightly she could feel their fingers digging into her skin, impossible to break free. 

Grabbing Nick by the shoulders, something she knew John would never have dared had they not all been subdued, he leant in, whispering something in Nick’s ear. She couldn’t make out what it was, but Nick’s expression shifted, unadulterated fear in his eyes. When John pulled back, Nick had already resigned himself.

“Nick?”

The pilot looked unsure but still, he nodded, a nervous, shaky movement. John smiled viciously, turning the knife in his hand. Rounding on Nick, he was pushed to the ground, held in place by peggies as John set about his chest with the blade.

The knife made a sickening sound, drowned out but Nick’s screams of pain and the other’s shouts of protest. Blood smeared over his chest, ruby red and dripping down his ribs. Rey felt sick, screaming and watching John stand proudly with Nick’s sin in his hand.

“That is the power of yes!” he declared, his arms scarlet to the elbows. The final insult was watching him staple the flesh to the wall. 

Her stomach still churned watching John as he sighed, a euphoric sound of release that sent a shiver through her body. Rey clenched her teeth, disgusted at her interrupting thoughts. The man had just skinned her friend and was washing the blood from his hands in holy water. She should have felt nothing but hatred. Her feelings should have been crystal clear, but like silt being kicked from the bottom of the Henbane, things were far murkier than she’d admit.

_Fucking pull yourself together, Jackson, you sick fuck!_

John shook the water from his hands, turning to Rey with a seductive smile. 

“And now, deputy, it’s your turn…”

“Fuck you!” Rey spat, “You’re a monster!” She told herself if she said it out loud, with enough conviction, that her body would stop betraying her. 

John tilted his head curiously, fighting a laugh. “A monster? I’ve been called a lot of things but that one is new to me,” He approached her, barging his way into her personal space, the scent of sandalwood, spice and blood invading her nostrils. His lips reached her ear, breath hot on her skin as he spoke, “I like it,” he whispered.

Rey’s lip curled and John only laughed, clearly loving the control he had and the captive audience. “Stop this, now!” she growled, “You’ve done enough damage.”

“The Father wants you to reach atonement and that is what you’re going to do,” John snapped, grabbing Jerome and shoving him in front of her, “Will you, Deputy-”

“No. I won’t do it!”

“Place your hand upon the word of Joseph-”

“John, please…” 

Barely a whisper, all heat gone from her tone. It was a plea to the man she’d met long ago, the guy who was charming, who paid for her coffee and teased her any chance he could get. John paused, his eyes searching her face with something akin to softness, a fleeting expression that she didn’t dare hope was a change of heart. 

“Confess your sins and admit your transgressions,” he ground out, his voice strained with the force of finishing his sentence.

Rey looked to Jerome, feeling the weight of everyone’s gaze. The pastor nodded at her.

“Say yes,” he hissed, pushing the book at her. 

The fresh tattoo on her chest ached, pressure behind her eyes making her head hurt. Months of running, fighting and barely sleeping had taken its toll. Maybe it was the exhaustion and fear, but saying yes and finally giving in was starting to sound appealing.

She looked down at the book before her, the quirk of her eyebrow the only sign she realised something was different. It wasn’t the book of Joseph in his hand. No, she’d seen this particular bible before and she knew what was inside.

“It’s just one word,” John urged, his smile gentle and encouraging. 

Rey looked up at Jerome apprehensively nodding her silent understanding. She knew what was expected of her and she wished she had the strength to do it. Her hand reached out towards the book, John’s eyes lighting up only to widen in horror when Jerome flicked the cover. It happened in a moment, a matter of seconds, time slowing as she grabbed the hidden revolver. He was in her sights, her lip curling as she thought of all the terror he’d reigned down on the valley. With one bullet, she’d be a hero.

And still, she couldn’t do it. Her hand felt frozen, the finger squeezing the trigger only as a peggie grabbed for the gun. The bullet barely missed, flying past John’s ear and embedding itself in the wall behind him. Chaos descended, the distraction enough for Nick and Mary May to break free as Rey wrestled the gun from the peggie's hand, kicking the man’s knee out before shooting him point-blank. 

“Get John to his ranch!” 

The instruction was barely heard over the din of shouting and gunfire, Rey shoving her hair out of her face just in time to watch John be rushed from the front door and bundled into one of the armoured convoy cars. The distraction cost her, a fist landing firmly against her cheek. She fell to the floor, her head spinning. The cultist stood above her, ready to shoot when he was knocked out of the way by Nick. 

As quickly as it had all begun, the fighting was over. Bodies littered the floor, the other peggies following John to live another day.

“Come on, we need to move. He’s getting away!” Mary May screamed, running for the door. She was the only one moving with any kind of haste, “What are you all doing?!”

The rest wandered out onto the street, surveying the damage done. Jerome sighed.

“It’s over, Mary. We don’t have vehicles and even if we did, we can’t match that convoy!” He said reasonably, “They’d have us mowed down in minutes.”

Mary May scowled, turning her attention to Rey. 

“You had him. He was right there in front of you. You had a gun in his face,” She shouted, “How could you _miss_?!”

Rey’s face was throbbing, the section of her cheek already beginning to swell. There was no explanation she could give that would have calmed the bar owner down. She’d hesitated and allowed the Baptist to get away. There was no way around it. 

“I...I just...well…”

“Hey, leave Rey alone. This wasn’t her fault,” Nick frowned, “At the end of the day, we’re all still alive and John Seed is going to get what’s coming to him!”

“I agree,” Jerome said calmly stepping forward, his own chest still bleeding and raw, “There will be time to deal with John but for now, we have people here who are wounded,” He turned his attention to Rey, “That was a hell of a punch, are you feeling alright deputy?”

Rey only nodded, gingerly touching her swollen cheek. Really, she felt like her head was being squeezed in a vice and there was a good chance she was a little concussed, but with others so much worse off, she didn’t want to cause a fuss.

“Jesus guys, that looks nasty,” Mary May winced, pointing to their wounds, “Come round to bar, I’ve got some dressings we can put on there.”

Her friends spoke among themselves, cursing John and calling the peggies for everything. Rey said nothing. It hurt to talk and what could she really say? Mary May was right, she’d had him in her sights and she’d let him live for reasons she didn’t fully understand. She didn’t _want_ to understand.

Sitting in the Spread Eagle, Mary May had calmed down somewhat, handing Rey a cold beer with an apologetic smile. She pressed the icy bottle to her face, soothing her hot cheek as Jerome and Nick dressed their bleeding chests.

Rey’s hand drifted to her own, the acute sting lessened to an ache but the scars he’d left remained. She wandered to the branded mirror on the wall, looking past the ‘Whistling Beaver' logo to her own reflection. 

Etched into her skin, his crude scratched ‘WRATH’ stood out in black letters, the surrounding area raised and angry from the needling digging too deeply. Unbidden, Rey could feel her lip trembling. Her eyes began to sting with tears of frustration, a white-hot rage simmering under the surface of her crumbling facade.

The fucker had _branded_ her. He’d finally got his wish. Her grip tightened on her beer, taking an angry gulp and wiping her mouth. 

“Hey,” Nick said gently. She looked up at him via the mirror, “I know a guy in Missoula. He’s a great artist. He’ll probably be able to draw something to cover that up. Or he could laser it off...dunno how deep the needle went, might only take a few sessions.”

Rey focused on the tattoo again. What were her options? Even if it was covered, she’d always know what was beneath and the idea of going through even more pain and ending up with another scar anyway didn’t appeal. She shook her head.

“You know what, leave it. If he thinks my sin is wrath, then I’m going to show him wrath,” She growled, “This tattoo is going to remind him just who the fuck he’s dealing with!”

Nick raised his beer, toasting behind her in the mirror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy to just get this chapter posted. I really felt like I was struggling with it and it took about 100 years to write for some reason! Anyway, comments and feedback always appreciated!


	32. Exit (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After 6 long years in the Bunker, it's finally time to leave. Joseph and John have very different ideas about what that will mean for their people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's canon - Takes place 6 years after the collapse as they prepare to leave the bunker and set up a settlement.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Joseph being himself.

John squinted at the screens.

So long ago, the camera system of the bunker used to look inward, used to control the people Eden’s Gate had taken for confession. He’d sit for hours, taking long drags from a cigarette and all the while he’d muse over each soul and the strategy he’d use on them. That was a different John. Along with the change to the bunker's interior, the camera system had been repurposed. They no longer looked inward, instead, they were used to see the world above them.

It made for depressing viewing. When the fires finally stopped burning, the earth had been scorched, the sky grey and thick with ash. It was coming up for the sixth year since the collapse when John had begun to pay closer attention to the screens. 

The persistent grey clouds had been parted for quite some time, the blue sky and genuine sunlight finally encouraging growth. The planet seemed to be coming to life again, flashes of colour breaking through the bleak landscape. At first he’d kept his excitement quiet, not wanting to give false hope or stir the others into a needless frenzy. There was more to consider than just leaving. They had to pick the right place to settle, consider food and water, shelter. It all had to be discussed and planned because nothing would be instant.

There came a day when John could no longer keep his eagerness to himself.

“Rey, come and see this!” he’d called, pulling her from their rooms to his office, standing her in front of the screens and waiting with bated breath for her to notice what he’d seen.

Rey squinted, her eyes suddenly growing wide with realization. “Is...is that an animal?”

“Yes!” John enthused, “It’s a deer! A living, breathing deer and it’s not the only one. Rey, I’ve been watching these screens closely for months. I...I think we’re going to be able to leave.”

Rey exhaled sharply, falling back into the armchair he used, her eyes unfocused at the floor.

“Holy shit,” She breathed, “That’s...John, this is huge!”

“I have a rough plan in my head, I just need to write it all out,” he said, “And we’ll need to talk it all over with Joseph. He’ll make the final decisions.”

As he mentioned his brother’s name, Rey scoffed. A dismissive snort of a sound that made John stop.

“What?”

“Joseph makes the final decisions?” Rey questioned, “John, while we’ve been down here, you’ve been the one in charge. You’ve kept everyone here safe, fed, and content. Joseph has done what? Performed sermons? Don’t get me wrong, I like Joseph a lot, but he’s not a practical leader. You are.”

The truth felt awkward, John scratching the back of his neck as he pondered how to respond. His wife wasn’t entirely wrong. Joseph had created the church, gathered the people, and announced God’s will to the people, but John along with Jacob dealt with the practicalities of the church. 

Buying farmland, dealing with supplies and stock, housing people. Without John’s fortune and business knowledge, none of that would have been possible. Joseph had no job or savings to speak of, Jacob had been homeless. He loved his brother, but it was a disheartening truth.

“Joseph agreed since this was my bunker, in my region, that I would be best suited to run things even with him living here,” John excused diplomatically, “But Eden’s Gate belongs to Joseph. I can’t make these decisions without him.”

“Alright, I’m not disagreeing,” Rey said kindly, “I’m just pointing out facts. What do we do now?”

“Now we need some volunteers to venture out and see what it’s like out there. The cameras are one thing, but we won’t know until we can see it for ourselves.”

00000

Weeks later, they had an answer.

“We sent out three different teams to the north, west and south. All of them came back without any signs of radiation sickness. The water samples from the south and west are completely clear and safe to drink, the air is breathable. This is it, Joseph. These are the signs we’ve been waiting for!”

Joseph sat listening intently to his brother, Rey sitting quietly while her husband explained the situation. Joseph gave no hint of his thoughts, his face perfectly passive until he nodded thoughtfully.

“You’re right, I believe this is the time to move,” he agreed with a soft smile, “We can finally start to build New Eden.”

“We have all the resources here that we need to build. I’ve been stockpiling for years!” John grinned enthusiastically, “I think the first thing we need to do is try to get in contact with Jacob and Faith. If we combine all our resources, we’ve got a shot at rebuilding. Some of the generators are looking a little worn but-”

“No generators,” Joseph said, stopping John short. 

The youngest Seed blinked at Joseph, hardly believing his ears.

“What...what do you mean ‘no generators’?” he asked, “How else are we supposed to get power out there?”

“New Eden is a chance for a fresh start,” Joseph said, staring back as if it were obvious, “God has purged the world of sin and we will live as he intended. No generators, no guns, no...conveniences that will encourage us to stray from his message.”

John laughed incredulously, shaking his head as he carded his hand back through his hair. 

“You can’t be serious. How do you think we’ve survived down here? Water purification, electricity generators, hydroponics...hell, the fucking medical equipment. Without any of it we’d all have been dead long ago!” John exclaimed, pacing in front of Joseph who sat as calm as ever.

“We did what was required to survive...and now we have,” Joseph explained, “Leaving here will mean a fresh start for all of us. We don’t need those things.”

“Oh sorry, I forgot you’re quite the Navy SEAL. Able to go out into the wilderness with nothing but a penknife,” John drawled sarcastically, rolling his eyes, “You’re asking people to give up more than they already have!”

“Don’t you want your daughter to grow up in a pure world? A world untouched by sin?”

“Don’t you dare bring Violet into this!” John hissed, scowling, “I want her to grow up safe, and...I’m sorry, I think you’re wrong.”

“What did you say to me?” Joseph asked, standing in warning, the tension between the two growing but John wouldn’t back down. He tilted his chin, silently challenging his older brother.

“I said I think you’re wrong,” John repeated, “I love you, brother. I’ve followed you to the end of the world but I don’t believe you’re thinking clearly.”

Petrified to move, Rey held her breath watching their standoff, neither of the two men willing to back down. Silently she wondered, from the look on Joseph’s face, how often John truly stood up to him. He glared down at John, fighting to find the words.

“You would dare defy the will of God?” 

“Stop that,” John snapped, “I’m not one of your followers. I’m your brother. If that’s what you believe then fine but you can’t force the people who look to us for guidance to suffer that way.”

“How do you know they’ll suffer?” Joseph asked, “They might thrive.”

John rubbed his beard thoughtfully. “They might. They might not...but we owe it to them to give them a choice.”

“A choice?”

“Yes. Just like when we made peace, let the people decide what they want,” John said patiently, “If they want to follow you then they can. If they want to stay with me then that’s fine too.”

“That’s not fair…”

“It’s perfectly fair,” John scoffed, “What’s wrong Joe, worried that after years of my leadership that loyalties have changed?”

“Okay!” Rey jumped from her seat, pushing herself in between the two brothers, “Look, this is a really stressful subject and there’s a lot to unpack. Why don’t we take a break? You two can gather some thoughts. Remember, we need to include Jacob and Faith. The scouting party looking for them isn't back yet.”

“An excellent idea,” Joseph answered, his eyes still fixed on John, “We should all take some time to really consider our decisions.”

“I agree,” John said, his voice tight through his clenched jaw. 

Even when Joseph had left to retire to his own rooms, John was still tense, pacing in front of his wife.

“He wants us to go out into the wild, to rebuild settlements,  _ without _ modern equipment. Without guns or power? Is he fucking insane?!”

Rey suddenly laughed, her undignified snort making him stop. He stared at her, an eyebrow raised and hands on his hips.

“I don’t see what’s so funny,”

“You just asked if he’s insane?” Rey replied, “Have you any idea how many times that was asked way back during all the fighting? When he was wandering the county without a shirt talking about how he’d seen the end of the world? Back then, you didn’t think he was insane but now...now you do?”

“Huh.” John mused, sitting down next to her on their worn sofa, “Faith is...a strange thing. When I think about back then, when he first found me and told me about his plans, I was still this angry, hurt kid. I just desperately wanted to believe in something and Joseph is my brother, why wouldn’t I have believed him?”

He sighed sadly, running his hands over his face. Things used to feel simple. What Joseph said was law and he believed in his big brother but he wasn’t in his twenties anymore. He wasn’t the same lost young man searching for a purpose and it was getting harder to turn a blind eye to Joseph’s faults.

“I don’t know if he talks to God, maybe he doesn’t, but I do know he’s wrong about  _ this _ ,” John said firmly, “And I can’t put people in danger just because of his word. We’ve come this far, I’m not going to fail now.”

Rey smiled proudly, wrapping her arms around him from the side to kiss his cheek, leaning her chin on his shoulder.

“Spoken like a real leader.”

00000

Day passed, the tension between the brothers softening but still very much present. Dinners at the family table were polite, conversation remaining civil with nobody pointing out the metaphorical elephant in the room. Violet was the perfect distraction, blissfully unaware of the awkwardness and talking about whatever came into her head.

It had been six days since the discussion when the harsh buzzer at their door woke John and Rey from their sleep. John stumbled to answer, rubbing his eyes.

“Jesus, do you know what time it is?” he huffed, pushing his hair back from his face, “My little girl is sleeping!”

The man at the door winced, trying not to pay attention to the fact ‘The Baptist’ had answered the door in nothing but sleep pants.

“I’m sorry, John!” he babbled apologetically, “But...the scouting teams are back and you’re going to want to see this!”

Now he was awake. Without bothering to dress, he shouted on Rey, dashing from the room. His bare feet thudded along the cold floors but he didn’t pay any attention, his mind fully focused on getting to the entrance hall of the bunker. Joseph was standing there already with two familiar figures, most of the other peggies giving the family some privacy.

He skidded to a halt, barely believing his eyes.

“Jesus Johnny, 6 years and you can’t put on a shirt to meet us?” 

Six years hadn’t seemed long but Jacob has visibly aged in his time underground. His teasing smile hid the real emotion behind his eyes, John wandering forward speechless. 

“Holy shit, Jake…”

“It’s good to see you, little brother,” he grinned, welcoming John into a crushing hug.

“God, I missed you!” John breathed honestly, the crushing weight of worry for his siblings lifting with euphoric relief. 

From behind the taller man, Faith peeked around his back, smiling and waiting for her moment.

“Faith!” John cried, “You’re both here!” 

He rushed at her, grabbing the girl to hug her just as tightly. Faith froze before quickly relaxing into the embrace. Of all the Seeds, John had always been the least warm with her, reluctant to relinquish the title of ‘youngest’ and never really embracing her as family. None of that mattered now she was there, alive and well.

“I even missed you too, brat,” he laughed, stepping back to look at her.

Faith had only been 25 when the collapse came, still clinging on to some of her teenage features. The years had matured her, although she still looked younger than her 31 years. 

“Daddy?”

John whirled around, his face still shocked and ecstatic. Rey was standing in the doorway, her face still sleepy with Violet clinging to her leg, the little girl trying to hide from the strangers behind her mother’s thigh. Faith and Jacob peered curiously at her.

“Who are they?” she asked with a confused whisper as John knelt down in front of her.

“Remember I told you about your Uncle Jacob and your Aunt Faith who were living in other bunkers?” he asked, Violet nodding her head uncertainly.

John held out his hand for her to take. Violet’s eyes shifted between the hand and his face, unsure if she was brave enough to face the strangers. Deciding her Father had never steered her wrong before, she placed her tiny hand in his.

“Oh my God, who is this?!” Faith cried, her eyes wide with wonder.

Violet flinched, clinging to John’s side. He picked her up in response, knowing she needed a little more reassurance.

“Violet, this is your Uncle Jacob and your Aunt Faith,” John explained patiently, “They’ve been living just like us. Underground. Do you want to say hello? You’re not normally this shy!”

“Remember, she’s never met anyone from outside!” Rey reminded him gently. 

Slowly, seeing how her father wasn’t afraid, Violet grew bold, lifting her head from John’s neck to look at her extended family properly.

“Hello,” she said shyly.

“Well look at that, I leave you crazy kids alone and you go and make a baby,” Jacob chuckled, “Nice to meet you, little lady!”

Violet shied away, still trying to gauge the new people who had appeared in her life so abruptly. The man in front of her was scary. Tall with red hair and scarred skin. At least the woman who was her Aunt seemed less intimidating. John held her close, stroking her hair while wincing. She wasn’t as small as she used to be.

“You are absolutely gorgeous!” Faith gushed, “And she looks just like you, John!”

“I thought you said she was gorgeous?” Jacob sniggered.

“Oh, how I have missed your wit,” John rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance, but it was hard to fight his smile.

“We have some important things to discuss,” Joseph added, stepping forward with a serious expression.

“Come on, Joseph, can we all take a moment at least?” Rey said reasonably, “They just got here. At least let's all have breakfast first!”

Joseph looked like he was ready to protest but Jacob had already commented what a good idea it was and had begun to follow John and Rey further into the bunker. 

Reluctantly, ‘The Father’ followed his reunited family. 

00000

The arrival of Jacob and Faith was seen as a blessing, a positive sign that others had survived and were on their way to reunite with their lost friends and family. 

For that, breakfast was a jovial affair. The Seed family table had become crowded and John was elated. Jacob shared stories of the north, of how the dam bursting had turned his whole region into a radioactive wasteland. Faith mainly spent time connecting with Violet, her niece quickly overcoming her shyness and loving a new captive audience.

All the while, Joseph remained stoic. He was just as thrilled as John to know his siblings had survived, his family reunited, but in his mind, a decision had to be made and his anxiety wouldn’t rest until he knew the outcome.

Eventually, he managed to herd his family towards John’s office. Each man had their turn, explaining their plan and point of view with passion. Faith and Jacob said nothing, listening intently until both John and Joseph had each stated their case.

“Obviously we’re going to go with Joseph, right?” Faith said, breaking the thoughtful silence, “He’s right. God cleansed the world of sin and we should live in his grace.”

“Of course you’d say that,” John snorted, fighting to keep his expression passive when he was desperate to roll his eyes.

It didn’t surprise him for a moment that Faith would side with Joseph. He had saved her, brought her into the fold, and elevated her to a rank beyond her expectations. Even with six years separated she had never given up hope that The Father had survived. Jacob was different. He was skilled at schooling his face, giving nothing away until he took a deep breath.

“John is right,” he declared, sitting back from leaning on his knees. 

John smiled with triumph, unable and unwilling to bother hiding how vindicated his eldest brother’s answer made him feel. Joseph had always been more controlled in that regard but John could see the frustration behind his eyes, the muscles in his cheek twitching as he clenched his jaw.

“I see,” he replied, “And why do you think so?”

“Look, Joe, I respect your beliefs. You know I do, but John is talking about survival. We need to use the resources we have,” Jacob said, “Your plan is going to make things harder for a lot of people. They haven’t come this far to die.”

“What happened to ‘cull the weak’?” Joseph asked wryly, his smile sarcastic. 

“The people who have made it this far aren’t weak!” Jacob scowled, “I’m sorry Joe, but I think John is right.”

Silence descended, the four all eyeing one another warily, unsure of what to do or how to proceed. The stalemate remained. John and Jacob on one side with Joseph and Faith on the other. 

“What do we do now?” Faith asked, breaking the tension. 

Joseph cleared his throat. Any anger he’d initially felt had begun to drain, leaving him only with immense sadness. He’d spent his time underground planning New Eden. Dreaming, imagining. It had kept him going on days he doubted it all. His family had survived but now that dream was starting to fade, the reality of impending separation set in.

“We...have to put it to the people,” he said quietly, locking eyes with John, who nodded in agreement.

“Put what to the people?” Faith asked.

“We need to give everyone a choice. If they want to follow Joseph, they can, or they can follow me. Two different settlements.” John explained.

Faith jumped up from her seat, looking between them all in horror. “No! That’s...no, we’ve been separated for years!”

“I know, but...things aren’t the way they used to be,” John said firmly, “I love you guys, but I have a wife and a daughter to look after. I owe it to them, and to all the people who have depended on me, to give them the best chance out there. You have to understand that?”

“You would turn your back on the will of God?” Faith accused, her pretty face scowling at him, doing nothing to hide her displeasure.

“I’m not turning my back on anyone!” John shouted defensively, “I’m doing what I believe in!”

“But…”

“That’s enough!”

Joseph stood, his face contemplative now he had the attention of the room. Of all the outcomes, this had been the one he had wanted to avoid. His vision of New Eden had always included his whole family. It had never occurred to him that their belief would change. 

“John is right,” Joseph said reluctantly, “The people will decide their own future.”

John knew his brother. He could see the sadness and disappointment behind his stoic expression, but it wasn’t enough to force him to change his mind. 

Rey has saved him and there was no doubt in his mind about that. She’d accepted him for who he was, scars, sins and all. She’d held him while he sobbed in the dark, held his hand while he chased his demons and showed him that the future wasn’t bleak. Joseph had once told him that Rey was going to be his salvation. He’d been right.

He owed her the same. John smiled gratefully.

“Thank you,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me smile real big.


	33. Exit (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Seed family put a choice to the people and finally leave the bunker for their new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Set 6 years after the collapse just as the family prepares to leave the bunker.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Emo John

The dining hall was packed. Standing shoulder to shoulder, excited chatter floated in the air while the residents speculated about what would happen. They’d all heard the rumours. The team John sent out had returned with wonderful stories of how the land had changed, fueling the gossip. Now with the Seed family reunited and The Father making an important announcement, tension hung in the air. Some were as apprehensive as they were excited.

The room fell quiet when Joseph took his place at the front of the crowd, the rest of his family behind him.

“My children, the day we have been waiting for is here. God cleansed the world of sin, his righteous fire scorching the earth as I promised and we waited. Our patience has been rewarded. The land has healed. It is time for us to create New Eden.”

Murmurs spread through the crowd like a wave, growing in volume until Joseph raised his hands to command silence.

“It will not be easy. Nothing worth having is ever easy. We must cast aside the conveniences of our past and start a new life.”

“What does that mean?” Adelaide blurted out, sitting at the front of the crowd with a raised eyebrow. 

John stepped forward. As much as his brother had a way with words, his flowery language wasn’t going to get the point across.

“If I may?” he asked. Joseph nodded reluctantly. “We’ve been talking about the best way to...transition to outside. I won’t lie to you all, this will take a lot of work. It won’t be an instant fix, but if we work together we can and will start a new settlement.” 

John took a deep breath, preparing himself for the caveat of his sentiments.

“After much discussion, it’s apparent that some of us have different ideas on how to proceed. My brother Joseph believes that in order to live the way God intends, we must forfeit what’s left of our modern tools. This would mean no generators for power, no guns, no water purifiers,”

He paused to let the information sink in, assessing the various expressions throughout the room. Some looked horrified, others curious. Most seemed completely nonplussed by the idea. It was strange to think of a repurposed bunker as home but over the years, many had begun to. Leaving was daunting and the thought of doing it without the help of technology even worse.

“There will be two settlements,” John continued, “Joseph and Faith will continue to create New Eden in the manner they see fit. Jacob and I will create our own. As a family, as the people who have watched over you all this time, we felt it was only right that you are given a choice of who you want to follow.”

Startled gasps echoed around the room, lost to the distressed chatter from those who had always followed Eden’s Gate. For everyone else, the choice felt obvious but many still followed the will of The Father, the Seed family. Being told that the family would not be together was something akin to blasphemy. 

“But what about New Eden?!” someone cried, “We should all be together!”

“It makes no sense to separate us now!”

“What about medicine and food?!”

The questions were lobbed thick and fast, people desperately seeking answers about their survival. The din began to grow, questions all rolling into one mass of noise until Jacob stepped forward.

“Quiet!” he bellowed, the room suddenly growing silent again in his imposing presence, “That’s better. We will answer as many questions as you can but for now, what it comes down to is that if you want to use electricity, use modern weapons and equipment...then me and John will offer you that. If you believe in Joseph and want to follow him, you can and nobody is going to judge you for your choices.”

John smiled gratefully. Maybe it was because he was the eldest, but when Jacob remained calm so did everyone else. The air was still charged but at least some inhabitants looked like they had their basic questions answered. 

“We’ll be leaving in stages,” John explained, “First, we need to find a suitable location. After that we can begin building and only once we’ve created proper shelter will we move out completely...look, I know it’s daunting, but the world is waiting for us. All of us. We didn’t survive down here just to waste the chance we’ve got now,”

Leaving them with hope felt important. John wanted his people to leave with excitement, with a feeling that whatever happened, they would be part of something positive. He watched people filter from the room, talking amongst themselves as they digested the choice put before them. 

Joseph came to stand beside him, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“I owe you an apology,” he said quietly, “That was...very eloquently put.”

“Well, I was a lawyer once,” John smirked, “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I do. I always saw you as the child I helped put to bed, my little brother. It caused me to overlook the man you’d become, the good...and the bad,” he said sincerely, “You followed a righteous path in spite of me, not because of me. I just want you to know...I’m proud of you. I’ve always been proud of you.”

What was supposed to be an articulate, heartfelt thank you emerged as a strangled, surprised gasp. Joseph has been someone he idolised as a child. That reverence had caused nothing more than a desperate chase for approval. He had fed on the validation and suffered when Joseph had withdrawn.

John had always wondered why he never felt satisfied. Joseph himself had even told him that after all he had done for the project, for his family, that it still wasn’t enough. There was an emptiness, a hollow that needed to be filled. Rey has been part of that, but as he looked into his older brother's eyes, his mouth flapping as he tried to find the right words, John finally felt a part of him that had been missing slide into place.

It felt like a release, like a weight he didn’t know he’d been carrying had finally been lifted from his shoulders. Somehow, even on the wrong side of 35, Joseph still had the ability to make him feel like a child again.

“Thank you,” he muttered quietly, his head still processing the sudden onslaught of emotions he’d been hit with. “You know...I didn’t want things to end up this way. I didn’t want us all to separate.”

Joseph only smiled, kissing John on the forehead. 

00000

John’s eyes remained on the large door in front of them but he could see Rey from the corner of his vision. She seemed relaxed but the way her fingers were squeezing his said otherwise.

“Ready?” He asked. 

Rey nodded, a shaky, nervous movement as she took a deep shuddering breath.

“Yes. Yes, definitely ready,” she muttered, the grip on his hand tightening.

“Let’s go.”

He turned the key, the old shutters creaking and squealing in protest. They’d been opened more in the past month than the past 6 years. Soon they would open, never to close again. 

Light began to spill into the alcove where they stood. The natural sunlight warmed their skin, blinding them as they blinked at the outside. It was all so familiar and foreign at the same time. 

Tentatively, gripping John’s hand so tightly his fingers were turning white, Rey stepped forward into the open. The blinding white slowly subsided as her eyes grew accustomed to the light, the smell of grass and dirt and air bringing tears to her eyes.

“Holy shit…” she gasped. 

Everything was so  _ bright _ . Without people, the world had grown and blossomed with new life. Bright grass blended with vibrant flowers of pink and blue, strange jade stripes floated in the sky above them. For the first time in so long, she could hear birdsong on the breeze.

Their walk was mainly in silence, taking everything in as they headed towards the south-west area of Hope County. 

“You know, it might not be there,” Rey commented gently, “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.” She was talking to herself as much as her husband.

“I know,” John smiled tightly, “but there’s no harm in looking.”

They continued to walk, John occasionally requesting a rest halfway up the hillside, panting hard as his legs burned from years of minimal cardio. Rey giggled, practically dragging him behind her.

Her laughter died, lost to the air when they reached the top, standing in stunned awe at the sight.

“I don’t believe it…”

The building was a shadow of its former self. support beams hung precariously, the roof almost completely caved in. The tower that overlooked the airfield has fallen but the hanger remained. With every step towards the buildings, they felt the ghost of their former life.

“I can’t believe it’s still here,” Rey gasped, “It’s in bad shape but I think we could rebuild?”

“It’ll take a long time,” John mused as they pushed forward into the building, “Careful, we don’t know how stable this is.”

The old door creaked when it was pushed open, the wood almost falling to splinters from years of braving the elements. The roof had indeed fallen in, light streaming into the otherwise dark, dilapidated house. 

Rey ran her hands over the dirty, old furniture with a whimsical smile. Pleasant memories came flooding to her, every milestone in their relationship playing out in her mind. They had come so far and the ranch had been part of each step.

“It’s a big job,” John sighed, “But I think the framework is still good.”

Rey continued to explore the main house. Books had grown mouldy over time, leather-bound covers grown crusted until the contents were unrecognisable. It was sad but inevitable. At least the building was still there in some form. The fireplace they’d cuddled in front of, hidden from the rest of the world still stood like a monument to their relationship. As she turned to comment, Rey realised John had left the building.

John inhaled quickly, his lungs aching with the need for air when he realised he’d stopped breathing. He’d told himself it wasn’t possible. There would be nothing left to salvage and if he didn’t get his hopes up, then the disappointment wouldn’t be so acute. 

The door to the hanger was stuck, only moving after some stiff kicks. The decaying hinges gave way allowing John to climb his way inside. The lump in his throat threatened to choke him, the air in the hanger thick as he tried to fight his emotion. It reminded him of a time capsule, the items hidden within tarnished but somehow preserved.

John’s hand trembled as he ran his fingers along the body of Affirmation. Its beautiful silver finish had lost its gleam. The metal building had done a remarkable job of protecting the aircraft, but it wasn’t perfect. Most of the components were caked with rust, the engine leaking all over the floor but the fact the plane was still there was a miracle.

No, it was a  _ sign. _

John laughed through his tears, feeling the plane under his hands. Solid and real. If Affirmation survived, his home still stood and this was the place they would build. 

“There you are. I’ve been looking fo...oh my God!”

Rey walked inside, carefully picking up her feet to make her way towards her husband. 

“It’s still here. I can’t believe it’s still here,” Rey breathed, “She can’t still fly though?”

“God, no. I doubt the engine will even start but...fuck, I can’t wait to show Violet this,” he grinned, wiping his eyes, “This is it, Rey. This is a sign,”

“Of what?”

“This is where we’re going to rebuild. We’re coming home.”

**Six Months Later**

“Make sure you’ve got everything!” 

“Rey, anything we forget to take with us at this point isn’t worth taking!”

He was right, but that didn’t stop Rey worrying that they were going to forget something. Not that there was much left. Slowly they’d been moving their belongings to their new home and now there was barely anything left except essentials. It had been a long six months rebuilding. With input from Jacob and the labour of their people, the main building had been renovated, smaller homes built outside the fortified walls to accommodate new farmland. Their settlement was growing, prospering with Jacob already living on the site. 

Finally certain that their infrastructure was in place, Rey and John had decided that it was time to leave the bunker for good. 

“What about Violet?!” 

“Oh, yeah, I thought I’d just leave her down in the lower levels with a gun and let her fight her way to us,” John replied sarcastically, “She’s five years old. She needs to learn,”

“You, Mr Seed, are not fucking funny!”

John came to stand in the doorway, watching her with a sympathetic smile.

“Rey, sweetheart, I know you. I know you’re anxious,” he said gently, “But it’s time.”

She stopped to look around the room, her eyes wide and helpless. Her shoulders slumped as she sighed her frustration.

“I know that...I just...this was  _ our _ space. It kept us safe, we had our daughter here,” she said, “And we don’t know what’s going to happen!”

John wandered from the doorway, pulling her into his arms tightly.

“What do we always say?”

“We’re lucky to be alive and we have each other,” she recited dutifully, feeling John nod against the crown of her head.

“That’s right,” he said, “Just think, tonight, we’re going to sleep in our old bedroom again. Violet gets to live in fresh air and finally see stars. You can’t tell me that you’d rather be down here?”

“No,” she muttered, “I hate it when you’re right.”

“I’m sorry, darling, you married a man who knows everything,” he smiled down at her, “So, are you ready to go?”

Rey squeezed him tightly around the waist.

“Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I feel like I've been writing this chapter forever (It's not. It's been like a week) so I'm just happy to get it out and posted, for better or worse! Comments are always greatly appreciated!


	34. Sarah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus had told Rey many times about his wife, Sarah. She never expected such an...enthusiastic first impression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - takes place a few weeks after Rey and John's wedding.

In Rey’s opinion, their honeymoon hadn’t lasted nearly long enough.

Not that they went anywhere. She and John might have been married but to anyone outside of Eden’s Gate who wasn’t Sharky Boshaw, Hudson, Pratt or Earl Whitehorse, her marriage was very much a secret.

Through negotiating that bordered on pleading, Rey and John had managed to swing themselves a week off. All phones were ignored, radios disconnected with strict orders given that the couple would be staying in the ranch and did not want to be disturbed.

The week of stressless solitude, their time split between the bed, the sofa and the hydro-jet tub, had been wonderful and over entirely too soon. Her single, cynical mind used to wonder if the honeymoon effect was real and to her horror, it was.

They lived together. John was never more than a quick call away (and he would come running, of that she was certain) yet she still found herself missing her new husband's imposing presence when he wasn’t around. Really, the whole thing was sickening but she was too blissed out to care.

By the time she’d pulled herself out of bed, it was uncharacteristically late. John had already been up to do his workout. He’d kissed her goodbye, promising to see her later but Joseph actually did need his help preparing legalities for making peace. Alone on the ranch with a day to herself, Rey pondered what she wanted to do.

Coffee cup in hand, she wandered onto the deck to enjoy the crisp morning air. No fresh snow had fallen but the air was fresh and cool, the sky beautiful and clear as she peacefully took in the picturesque landscape around the property.

She hadn’t married John for his home, but there was no denying it was a nice perk.

Lost in her own thoughts and growing used to peggies roaming the property, Rey barely noticed someone approaching until they were right in front of the deck.

“Good morning!” Rey smiled warmly, clutching her warm cup. Now she was married to John, even if she didn’t agree with Eden’s Gate and Joseph’s teachings she still wanted to be as friendly as she could.

The peggie in front of her seemed nervous. Very nervous. In fact, Rey could have sworn she was almost trembling. The girl was very pretty even in her Eden’s Gate clothing. Wholesome features met straw blonde hair pulled back into a neatly braided ponytail. She was small in stature and her bright blue eyes shone at Rey with an unnerving adoration.

“Oh gosh, you’re even prettier than I imagined!” the girl gasped, her accent slightly southern. 

Rey blushed furiously, heat creeping up her neck at the sudden and unexpected compliment. The girl held a tray in her hand covered in foil, her knuckles growing white with her tense grip.

“Um, thank you...” Rey replied awkwardly but the girl continued to babble.

“I mean, of course you’re pretty. You’re John’s wife!” 

Rey frowned thoughtfully, her back straightening as she fought indignation.

“I’m more than just ‘John’s wife’,” she muttered, “I’ve done a lot of things…”

“Oh no, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I just...I’ve heard so much about you and I think you’re so amazing and I just wanted to take the chance to meet you,” the girl stopped her rambling to take a deep, steadying breath to collect herself, “I’m Sarah,”

Rey took a moment before she finally realised who was in front of her.

“Sarah...Harrington? Marcus’ wife?” the blonde nodded enthusiastically, “Oh my God, It’s so good to meet you! Marcus has told me so much about you,”

Rey jumped up from her seat, rushing forward to pull the startled blonde into a friendly hug. Sarah froze and when Rey pulled back, she was staring at her with disbelief.

“You know about me?” she asked, her face still astonished. 

“Of course,” Rey smiled, “Marcus talks about you all the time.”

“He’s very sweet,” Sarah blushed, “I just...I wanted to give you these.”

Sarah thrust the tray towards Rey, bouncing on her feet like an excited child. Rey placed the tray on the table, pulling off the foil curiously. On the tray were a dozen brownies sprinkled with powdered sugar.

“Thank you, did you make these?” Rey asked, “Please, sit with me. Want a coffee? John has this awesome machine!”

Sarah gasped, staring at the seat opposite Rey at the table as she’d just been offered the holy grail.

“To join the Baptist’s wife...in their own home?” she breathed, “It would be an honour!” 

“I’m glad you’re...enthusiastic?” Rey replied with a bemused smile. 

Sarah seemed lovely, exactly as Marcus had described his tiny wife. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed archetype of an all-American girl. What Rey couldn’t figure out was why she seemed so nervous, acting like she was in the presence of greatness. 

When she returned to the table with two fresh coffees, Sarah was sitting with her hands in her lap, even when the cup was placed in front of her, as if waiting for permission to relax.

“Don’t stand on ceremony, grab a brownie!” Rey insisted, “I’ve heard breakfast is the best time for baked goods.”

“I made them for you. Please, you first,” Sarah smiled anxiously, pushing the tray back towards Rey. 

Rey regarded the tray cautiously before she grabbed the first brownie from the top. Sarah watched eagerly as Rey took a bite, fidgeting with her hands, her face betraying how much she wanted the Deputy’s approval.

It was hard not to groan as her teeth sunk into the moist cake, the rich chocolate immediately taking over her taste buds. Her eyes closed, savouring the near-perfect flavour. Swallowing, Rey smiled happily, licking the sugar from her lips.

“Oh my God!”

“Are they good?” Sarah asked uncertainly.

“Good?!” Rey spluttered, “Sarah, these are amazing and if you don’t have one for yourself then you’re missing out! Please, take one.”

“Oh good!” Sarah smiled, her whole body visibly relaxing, “I know it’s not much, but I wanted to do  _ something _ to say thank you...I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost Marcus. I can never repay you,”

Rey laughed awkwardly. Getting to know people was a skill she’d improved on greatly since moving to the County, but the outright reverence she was being shown made her feel like a spotlight was shining on her. There was a subtle movement as her hand clutched her chest, the familiar anxiety of performance starting to set in.

“Hey, anyone would have done the same thing,” she tried to dismiss, deflecting the praise by shoving a chunk of brownie in her mouth but Sarah grabbed her hands, shaking her head.

“No, they wouldn’t have!” she gushed, “You pushed him to safety and almost lost your life in the process. You’re like...a...a guardian angel!”

Rey stopped chewing, the mound of brownie in her mouth growing heavy and sickly. She swallowed slowly, blinking at Sarah. It took effort, but she wiggled a single hand free from Sarah’s tightening grip, wiping her mouth before she spoke.

“I...thank you, I was just in the right place at the right time,” Rey said kindly, hoping the edge to her voice would tell the other woman that the subject could be dropped.

She had no such luck.

“God brought you into our lives,” Sarah said seriously but her smile remained sweet, “You’re a blessing to so many people!”

“I can promise you...I’m a pain in the ass to so many people as well,” Rey chuckled, grimacing into her cup as she drank, “But  _ enough _ about me! Please, tell me about yourself!”

The shift in attention caught Sarah off guard. She picked up her coffee cup, sipping as she thought about what to say.

“I...I don’t think there’s much to say about me,” she replied shyly, “I gave my life to the project.”

“Yes, but I’m sure you’re still your own person?” Rey pressed. Truthfully, Rey wasn’t sure that Sarah was her own person. That was the nature of a cult, right? Their members forfeited all personal goods and everything was for the sake of Eden’s Gate.

Sarah still looked perplexed and Rey fought a sigh. However indoctrinated she thought Marcus was, she realised that Sarah was ten times worse.

“Okay, how about this, what do you do for Eden’s Gate? Everyone has a role to play, right?”

The small woman’s face brightened. 

“I was named head cook here at the project,” She said proudly, “I manage the kitchens, arrange menus and organise our food supplies. Someday, I hope to cook for the Seed family exclusively!”

“That’s awesome. I can barely boil an egg, so I’m in awe of anyone who can cook,” Rey laughed, polishing off the last of her brownie.

“I’m sure you could do it if you tried. You can do anything!”

“Listen, Sarah, I’m not sure where this...intense adoration is coming from but I’m  _ not _ as amazing as you seem to think that I am,” Rey said gently, trying her best to be as nice as possible to spare the girls feelings.

“But you are!” Sarah exclaimed, “You’re  _ the  _ Deputy! You were there at the moment the Father declared the beginning to the reaping. The Baptist fell in love with you. You saved Marcus from death and now, your influence is going to bring peace to the county so that we may continue to prepare for the collapse!”

Rey stared at Sarah, her face blank while she tried to process the barrage of information. 

“I...see…” She drawled slowly, taking a long sip of her coffee. 

If she was drinking then her mouth was occupied which meant she didn’t need to speak. What could she say to that? Sarah seemed very sweet and extremely eager to please but clearly she had an idealised version of Rey in her head that the deputy wasn’t comfortable with.

“Let’s just...agree to disagree,” Rey muttered, “Anyway, if you cook the way you bake then Eden’s Gate is in good shape. These are amazing!”

“I’m so happy you like them!”

“If you want to say thank you with food then I’m all for it,” Rey smiled, “I’ll never say no to free food!”

“Okay!”

“Okay?”

Sarah suddenly leapt from her seat, leaving Rey with a perplexed expression as she pondered a second helping of brownie.

“I need to get back to the compound. I’ve already been gone too long,” Sarah said apologetically, “But it was  _ so _ amazing to meet you. May the Father bless you!”

Rey waved, mystified as Sarah slipped away while offering her own awkward giggling farewells before she disappeared into one of the marked SUVs. Watching the truck drive away and left in the blissful silence of the ranch, Rey reached for another brownie.

“What a sweet girl.”

00000

John fought a yawn as he walked towards the front door of the ranch. 

He loved his brother but when it came to legalities, trying to remind Joseph that Montana still carried the death penalty and that ‘God told me to’ was not a defence, had taken longer than he liked. Days like the one he had just suffered through made him wonder where Eden’s Gate would really have been without his expertise. 

The moment he stepped inside, his nose was assaulted with a combination of beautiful smells. His stomach rumbled as he followed his nose towards the kitchen.

“Rey? Are you ho...holy shit!” 

John stopped dead in the doorway of his kitchen. Every inch of the worktops was covered in dishes. Lasagne, freshly baked focaccia bread, huge bowls of salads and a fruit cobbler were only a few things he recognised, the rest still covered with foil.

Rey was standing holding a fork, picking at one of the plates.

“Did you  _ do _ all this?”

After swallowing a forkful of pasta, Rey shot him a cynical look.

“Do you really think that I could do all this?” She asked, “And have your kitchen still standing?!”

“Where did all this food come from?” John asked, grabbing a fork to join Rey in her food expedition. “Oh my God, is that cornbread?!”

“Yes. And it came from Sarah Harrington,” Rey explained, trying to choose between the lasagne or the potato salad, “She’s married to Marcus.”

“Marcus…”

“John, are you serious right now?” Rey sighed, “You’re the one who bought his farm! He’s one of the Chosen? You remembered his name for, like, a week after the fire and now you’ve forgotten. I swear you do it on purpose.”

“I see and talk to a lot of people, angel. I’ve bought a lot of farms,” John shrugged, “but I think I know who you’re talking about. I didn’t know he was married.”

“Well, he is, and she is lovely if not very enthusiastic about...me. She seems to think I’m a guardian angel.” 

John had just taken a bite of cornbread as Rey finished speaking, his unfortunate reaction sucking the mouthful to the back of his throat. The baptist coughed and spluttered, smacking his chest to try and move the stray mouthful.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing! Nothing at all,” John insisted, his voice still hoarse, “I just think it’s cute, but that doesn’t explain all the food.”

“She’s in charge of all Eden’s Gate kitchens and she came to see me this morning with a plate of brownies. I told her she could say thanks by feeding me and...I guess she took that _ really _ seriously!”

“I’ll say, look at all this!” John said, “Not that I’m complaining. It’s nice to come home to a meal.” he smirked.

Rey stuck out her tongue in a feat of maturity, finally deciding that the lasagne was next to be tasted.

“She’s a nice girl, but super dedicated to your cause. Between saving her husband and being married to you, I’m practically a rockstar!” Rey grinned, her fork breaking through the melted cheese, “I think I want to do something for her…”

“You stopped her husband becoming barbecue, what more can you do?” John said flippantly.

“John!” Rey snapped, “I mean it. You have no idea how much she wants to please your family, to feel like she makes a difference…”

“You got all that from brownies?”

“And I really think she deserves something,” Rey finished, ignoring John’s sarcasm.

John grabbed a napkin, wiping his mouth free of crumbs.

“Rey, the thing about our organisation…”

“Cult.”

“...is that everyone remains equal. The Chosen are soldiers and that’s all. We can’t be seen to be favouring people!”

Rey snorted, dropping her fork to gesture at the building around her.

“Equal? And this is what, a tent? Don’t give me that.” she scoffed. 

“Angel, I know you don’t agree and I accept that but can we not argue about this? Please?” John asked seriously, knowing the subject of Eden’s Gate was still touchy, “If you want to do something nice for this girl then...okay, fine. Like what?”

Rey picked up her fork once more.

“I think I have an idea.”

00000

“Shouldn’t we do this in my office?” John asked from his place lounging on the leather sofa. Rey paced lazily in front of him, “Normally major decisions have some kind of gravitas when I’m sitting behind my desk,”

“Oh God, no!” Rey groaned, “You’d give the poor girl a heart attack. Sarah is lovely but...you kind of need to think of her as a wild bunny. She will spook easily.”

“And this is someone you want spending time in our house?” John questioned, Rey, throwing a cushion at his face for his cheek.

“Shut up, she’s here!” Rey hissed, jogging towards the door to open it for the already startled looking peggie.

“Sarah, thank you for coming!” Rey smiled as she opened the front doors, “Come on in!”

As she walked inside, her blue eyes like two saucers, John at least had the dignity to sit upright from his place on the sofa. He still had an image to maintain, after all.

“Good afternoon,” he greeted politely.

Sarah stopped, in awe of the fact that not only was she in John’s house but that he was there  _ and _ he had spoken to her. Anticipating another bout of worship, Rey was quick to step in.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” Rey said, ushering Sarah towards a seat.

“Of course! As soon as I got the word you wanted to speak to me, I came right over!”

“I thought you would,” Rey mumbled, “John and I really loved the food you’ve been making us!”

“Oh, it’s nothing…”

Nothing was putting it lightly. For almost a full week, while Rey had been discussing her idea with John and the rest of his family, Sarah had taken her promise to continually feed Rey very seriously. Every evening, as the clock hit six, peggies would arrive at the door with trays of food. From fresh sushi to Mexican and lots of sweets, John and Rey were gifted with more food than either of them could ever finish alone. The fridge was fit to burst with leftovers.

However, Rey knew that insisting it was amazing would be futile.

“I don’t think it’s nothing. In fact, it was so much we shared it with the family,” she said, delighting in Sarah’s reaction.

Just when Rey didn’t think her eyes could widen anymore. The woman reminded her of a baby owl, adorable and startled all at once.

“You didn’t!”

“I did and I gotta say, it went down a storm!” Rey insisted, “Your chicken parmesan? Jacob ate at least three portions.”

“Oh my god!” Sarah gasped, looking between Rey and John as he nodded in agreement from his place on the sofa.

“Anyway, what I’m trying to tell you is that your food is delicious and I remember you saying that you wanted to cook exclusively for the family. We brought you here to tell you...you got the job!”

Sarah blinked at the couple and Rey was certain she had stopped breathing.

“What job?” she asked uncertainly, “You don’t mean…”

“I do. Joseph agreed. You’ve to take a few days to find a replacement for yourself but after that, you’re going to cook for the Seed family. Exclusively.”

Rey paused, watching Sarah’s reaction with both amusement and worry. Sarah seemed frozen with shock. The only part of her moving was the occasional blink, her mouth twitching with the want to say something but her mind was still trying to process the news. Slowly, her eyes began welling with tears.

“But I...I just...Oh my God…”

“Is she alright?” John asked, “Are you alright, sister?”

“Yes, brother John, I just...I’m very overwhelmed,” she confessed, “What if I can’t do it?”

Rey approached, wrapping her arm around the smaller woman’s shoulders, helping her stand to escape the overwhelming environment. 

“Nonsense! You just keep doing exactly what you were doing,” Rey said, walking with her outside, “I believe in you!”

“Oh man, now I’m even more nervous!” Sarah laughed awkwardly, “But, thank you. You have no idea what this means to me!”

Rey gave her a squeeze.

“I think I do. Just do me one favour?”

“Anything!” Sarah gasped seriously.

“Maybe make some of our meals a little lighter now and then? Otherwise, I’m definitely going to have to go up a dress size!”


	35. Drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since she was new in town, Joey Hudson takes it upon herself to set Rey up on a blind date. 
> 
> Nobody has ever told John that three is a crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **timeline** Rey's Canon - Takes place only a few weeks after Rey moves to Hope County, long before the arrest.
> 
> Chapter warnings: John being himself.

“You said you wanted to meet people!”

If Rey had heard Joey, she wasn’t letting on. The new junior deputy continued her task of searching through the filing cabinet, her fingers separating the tabs until she found what she needed. Saying nothing, she closed the drawer and began walking back towards her desk. Joey was not to be dissuaded.

“Isn’t that what you said?”

An exasperated sigh shook Rey’s shoulders as she sat down heavily behind her desk, Joey coming to stand in front with her arms stubbornly crossed. Rey shook her head.

“Actually, what I said was that I’m still new and I haven’t met many people,” Rey pointed out, “I didn’t say anything about  _ wanting _ to!”

“But Billy is really nice!” Joey insisted, leaning her hands onto the desk and bouncing with the enthusiasm of a child, “He’s lived here his whole life, he’s got a job, he’s not a member of that cult thing…”

“Eden’s Gate is a cult now?” Rey smirked.

When she’d first arrived, Earl had mentioned something about the religious group, how they had appeared in Hope County years ago and had been of no real concern. They seemed to be a little fanatical and their leader, Joseph, gave Rey the creeps but aside from that there hadn’t been anything reported to them that they could do anything about on an official basis.

The right to practice religious freedom could cover a lot of sins.

“Cult or church, whatever, it doesn’t matter. Point is, Billy is not a member and he is really excited about your date!”

Rey slammed the file she was looking at closed, finally looking up at Joey.

“You already told him I’d go?!” 

Joey chuckled awkwardly, backing away from her colleague's desk as she wrinkled her nose.

“I didn’t think you’d say no!” she defended herself. 

Rey snorted, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. Joey's presumption made her tense, a small v forming between her brows as she tried to dive back into her work and ignore the woman in front of her. She knew Joey hadn’t meant any harm, but nonetheless, she hadn’t known Rey more than a month and just diving into social situations with people she’d never met was not something that floated her boat.

“Just one drink? If you hate it, you can leave?” Joey pressed. Rey glanced up from her files once more with the sinking realisation that Joey wasn’t going to go away until she had the answer she wanted.

“Fine. One drink,” Rey sighed, “One. I promise absolutely nothing past that!”

“Great! You are not going to regret this, I promise!” Joey smiled, finally satisfied that Rey was going along with whatever she had planned.

Rey couldn’t help the scowl she threw at Joey’s back when she turned away. She seemed more concerned with protecting Billy’s feelings, unwilling to lose face and explain that Rey just wasn’t interested in dating. Now Rey found herself jammed into a date she didn’t want to handle.

Grumbling to herself, she picked up her coffee.

“Fuck.”

00000

The early summer evening was warm as Rey locked the door to her cabin, preparing to walk into the bustling metropolis that was Fall’s End. She’d tried to think up every excuse in the book from suddenly feeling ill to a family emergency, but to her mind each one sounded less and less plausible. She was new in town, the last thing she wanted was a rumour spreading that the new rookie from New York was rude as hell.

Cursing Joey the whole time, she’d pulled on a basic black jersey dress and thrown her hair up into a bun, refusing to wear heels and settling for her brown leather boots. That was how girls dressed for dates right? Only this wasn’t a date. It was a drink out of obligation because her co-worker was pushy as hell.

The glow of Spread Eagle sign heralded the beginning of her evening. Looking around, the streets seemed empty and there was still a chance to run if she wanted but standing the poor guy up was worse than just calling it off. Rey snorted indignantly, pushing a stray piece of hair from her face.

_ Think positive, Jackson! _

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Rey forced a smile, the strain pulling at her cheeks as she made her way inside. She waved to Mary May behind the bar before she made her way towards the table she suspected was for her.

Billy didn’t look too bad at all. He stood up from his seat to greet her, nervously wiping his hands on his jeans. He was taller than Rey but that wasn’t difficult. He was certainly good looking with shaggy, sandy coloured hair, wide green eyes and a kind smile. Perhaps a little more clean-cut than she expected for a farmhand.

“Rey? Nice to meet you, I’m Billy,” he smiled, offering her the seat across from him. Mary May approached the table, putting a beer in front of her and offering a wink that only served to deepen the pit in Rey’s stomach.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Rey replied politely. A heavy silence fell over the table. Rey began to pick at the beer label, Billy looking all around the bar for any sign of conversation inspiration. “So...uh, tell me about yourself? Joey didn’t mention much.”

“I’m a farmhand. I was working for the Harrington’s but they replaced their whole staff with folks from that Eden’s Gate,” he said, “I’m working on Bradbury’s farm now.”

“Oh, cool. Do you...like your work?”

“Yeah! Yeah, it’s...cool.”

The second silence was just as awkward as the first. Rey’s stomach twisted as she chugged back her beer, hoping that a little alcohol would get the conversation moving. 

“Listen, can I be honest with you?” Billy asked, his face earnest, “I...wasn’t really feeling the idea of this date. I’m really sorry, I don’t mean to make things even more awkward but…”

“But you felt like Joey wouldn’t take no for an answer?” Rey grinned.

“Yes! That’s exactly it,” Billy cried, relief clear in his expression, “She just kept pushing and pushing. Did she do the same to you?”

“She did! She just sprung it on me too,” Rey laughed, “I’m sorry. You seem like a really nice guy but I’m not actually interested in dating or anything,”

“Well now, that’s something we both can agree on,” Billy said. His whole body language had changed, the tension he’d been feeling about Rey’s expectations gone. Billy raised his bottle, “To Joey Hudson, Hope County’s pushiest matchmaker,”

“To Joey!” Rey echoed, clinking her bottle to his, “Well, since this is officially  _ not _ a date and we both know it, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself while we finish these beers?”

“I’ve lived here my whole life, I’ve got nothing interesting to tell you!” Billy shrugged, “Tell me about  _ you _ , I bet you’ve got lots of interesting things to say coming from New York!”

Billy, she decided, was actually easy to talk to. She might not have wanted a date but she guessed meeting a new friend around town wasn’t the worst thing ever. Her whole life story wasn’t something she was about to spill out on a Friday night but she told him what she felt comfortable with, explaining how she worked through college to get into the police academy and funny stories from her time in training. Billy listened attentively, both so wrapped up in their conversation that they didn’t notice the conspicuous figure enter the bar.

John Seed rarely graced Fall’s End with his presence, especially in the evening. He was much too important doing whatever his older brother needed him to. It was anyone’s guess why he was there at all, let alone swanning into the Spread Eagle like he owned the place. Mary May barely hid her contempt as she stood polishing glasses, the other patrons turning with curiosity before going back to their drinks. 

Examining the space, John smiled at the table where Rey sat, a twinkle of mischief in his icy blue eyes.

“Well well well, Deputy Jackson, taking the night off I see?” He purred, swaggering towards the table, “Aren’t you an absolute picture.”

“Mr Seed,” Rey greeted, sitting up a little straighter. Something about him always put her on her guard. “What brings you to Falls End?”

“Just a little business,” he shrugged. Rey wasn’t sure what type of business someone working for a church would be doing on a Friday night. She wasn’t sure she even wanted to know and from the flippant way he dismissed her question, he wasn’t for telling, “Well it’s less fun than what you’re doing. On a date I see…”

“It’s not a date…” Rey said, smiling apologetically at Billy across the table, the young man regarding John suspiciously.

“Little black dress? Hair up? Terrified looking young man? Certainly looks like a date. I’m  _ so _ sorry for intruding,” John insisted, looking like someone who didn’t know the meaning of an apology.

“Mr Seed…”

“Deputy, please, how many times must I tell you? Call me John,”

“John,” she said curtly, “This isn’t a date but I am having a drink with a friend…”

“Yes, William Stevens,” John interrupted, “How are things on the Bradbury farm? That is where you’re working now, is it not?” Billy frowned, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

“How...how do you know that?”

“I know lots of things, Billy,” John replied, pulling up a chair, “And you haven’t answered my question.”

“Hey, chill out. He doesn’t owe you that answer!” Rey snapped while trying to work out if this was the Universe trying to tell her that it was time to cut her losses and end her night.

“I don’t mean any harm,” John said innocently, leaning back in his chair, “I’m just making conversation. You know...since it’s not a date.”

_ I think this is what living in a panic attack feels like… _

Rey stifled a groan, her mouth a grim line as John lounged back clearly enjoying his monopoly of their evening. 

“You were working for the Harrington farm, right?” John continued, curiosity in his smile. Billy took a sharp breath, boldly meeting John’s gaze while taking a long, slow sip of his beer.

“Yeah. I did,” He answered, his tone clipped as he lifted his chin in silent challenge. Rey sipped her own drink, eyes darting between the two men. “That was until your boys rolled in.”

“My boys? Interesting terminology. I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Bullshit!” Billy blurted out, “Eden’s Gate rolled into Holland Valley with you in charge and next thing we know all the farms are being taken over! We were doing work with Marcus  _ for free _ to help Sarah and him out of a tough spot then suddenly we’re told not to bother showing up? Now any time you get close to the land you’ve bought there are men with guns walking the fences. What’s that about?”

John narrowed his eyes, his body suddenly tensing as he leaned forward keeping Billy in his sights. His eyes were the only indication that he was bothered, the charming smile on his face remaining. Billy held his ground and glared right back, the atmosphere around the table cooling by the second. 

_ Men with guns? _

“As I said, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” John replied casually, but his voice was edged with a warning.

“Alright! That’s enough. I’m going to go and freshen up and when I come back, Mr Seed, you will not be here!” Rey growled. Her chest felt tight, the air around them thick with tension and testosterone. 

She pushed herself back from the table, the scraping of the chair on the floor cutting through the male posturing she’d found herself in the middle of. Billy kept his eyes on John but the Baptist had other ideas, watching Rey intently as she stood, his eyes following her until she disappeared into the ladies room.

The heavy wooden door slamming shut was an indication that Rey could finally breathe, the distance between her and the men making it easier to think. Had Billy really seen men with guns patrolling farms that Eden’s Gate owned? If that was true there was more going on than Earl had revealed. Checking her reflection in the mirror, hoping all her irritation hadn’t resulted in a blotchy face, she made a mental note to do some digging herself.

The night was still salvageable, she still had half a beer left. Maybe they could go somewhere else? Get a coffee and some pie at the diner instead. What was it about John Seed and the stress he caused that made her want to reach for something with sugar?

Taking a final deep breath and replacing her optimistic smile, Rey pushed the door open and stepped back out into the bar.

Billy was gone. John had taken his seat and was amusing himself examining the abandoned beer bottle.

“I don’t understand why people like this stuff? Tastes like pond water…”

“Where the hell did Billy go?” Rey demanded, stomping her way over to the table. John put down the beer bottle, smiling at her innocently

“Oh, Billy had to go.”

“What did you do?” Rey huffed, “Everything was fine before you turned up!”

“Why Deputy, I’m wounded!” John gasped, clutching his chest as Rey took her seat, “I was simply in the area and I saw my good friend Deputy Jackson.”

“Good friend? We’ve met a handful of times and you somehow got my number...which you have  _ still _ not explained by the way!” 

John chuckled, standing up from the table and smoothing the sleeves of his ostentatious coat.

“A good lawyer never gives away his secrets…”

“That’s ominous as fuck.”

“I’ll leave you with this deputy...that boy? Date or otherwise, you deserve a better calibre of  _ friend _ ,” He purred, “When you’re ready to admit that you know where to find me. Goodnight, Rey.”

What the hell was with this guy? How could someone she barely knew leave her feeling both beguiled and irritated at the same time? There was no way confusion wasn’t showing on her face, her mouth contorting while she tried to form a reply. 

_ Something witty...smart...fucking anything at this point… _

John had left the bar and she still had no response. Rey had barely registered someone else had approached her table until a heavy-bottomed glass landed in front of her. Immediately she could smell the warmth coming from the liquor served. Mary May was smirking down at her.

“You look like you could use this.”

Rey picked up the glass, toasting to herself and cursing John Seed at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are encouraging and appreciated! 
> 
> Because of the non-linear way this story is laid out, I could technically keep going forever with chapters and moments but I hate seeing stories that are like "Chapter 100" they just put me off. So I've decided I'm going to finish Moonshine off at 50. All the main key moments of their canon is basically there, the rest are all bonuses.


	36. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 2 am when he first calls her. 
> 
> John can't sleep and there's only one person he decides he wants to talk to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **timeline** Rey's canon - John and Rey have hooked up twice but haven't declared anything. Still very much the confusing start of their relationship.
> 
> This actually started life as a drabble challenge on Tumblr but I decided to extend it.

“Deputy?”

The voice was so uncharacteristically soft it could barely be heard through the crackling of the radio lying next to her bed. Rey rolled onto her back, blinking up at the ceiling of her bedroom.

“Rey?”

The voice was clearer the second time, confirming to Rey that she hadn’t imagined it. What did he want? The only time John contacted her on the radio was to throw insults or remind her how she was being hunted. Grunting and graceless, she reached for the radio, her hand flailing until she grabbed the device.

“John?” her voice was thick and rough with sleep, “Did you call me?” 

He’d pressed the button. She could hear him sigh on the other side, seemingly aching to answer before giving up. “John? I know you’re there.”

“I...I couldn’t sleep,” he said quietly, his voice filling her room, “It’s late. I woke you up. Sorry, I’ll let you get back to sleep…”

Rey sat up, clutching the radio tightly. Her better judgement told her to leave it, that he was a liar and a manipulator. This was all just a scheme to lure her in but he sounded...different. This wasn’t the Baptist she knew. This was someone lost. Her compassion, her empathy, betrayed her.

“Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out,” She said, pushing her messy hair from her face, “What’s wrong? Was it a nightmare?”

For a moment she was sure he wasn’t going to answer, it had been so long since she’d asked the question. Convinced that was the end of their conversation, never to be spoken of again, Rey slid back down under her sheets. Her eyes opened when the radio crackled to life once more.

“Yes.”

Now he had her attention. The single word felt the most intimate of confessions reluctantly given. Rey sat up to turn on her bedside lamp. She knew no matter how the conversation proceeded, her mind would be too active to go back to sleep. She grabbed the radio.

“Do you...want to tell me what it was about?”

What was happening? This was how friends spoke to one another, maybe even lovers. Despite two separate occasions he’d made her scream his name, John Seed did not fall into those categories. Nevertheless, something was shifting.

“Not really,” he laughed but she could hear how hollow it was. Was he still in bed? Maybe he was up now, pacing a bedroom that was the same size as her entire cabin.

“Might make you feel better?” Rey suggested, hoping that he could hear the smile in her voice. 

She leaned in closer to the radio, as if it would somehow urge him to speak. This man had been a constant source of annoyance since she’d arrived in Hope County. While washing her face or brushing her teeth, she’d boldly stare back at the mirror and tell herself that her attraction to him was nothing more than physical.

So why her heart was racing, why she was hanging on his every word and willing him to talk, she had no idea.

“It was...about my parents,” he admitted quietly, “My adoptive parents, I should say.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were adopted,” Rey replied curiously, “I mean, I don’t know much about you in general. What was your dream about?” Silence. Rey winced, slapping herself lightly on the forehead for the indelicacy of her question. “Sorry...you don’t have to tell me, I just...you sounded upset.”

“It was the same as it always is,” he replied after taking some time to consider her question, “They want me to confess my sins but I don’t have anything to confess...so they punish me,”

“That sounds horrible,” Rey said, “Did they...is that why…”

She couldn’t finish her questions. Asking him about his past, maybe even uncovering why he is the way that he is, felt like crossing a line she wasn’t entirely ready to walk over, but he was smart. He knew what she was asking.

“The Duncans were...militant in their faith,” He answered. She could hear the rough tone of his voice, the memory painful to voice, “I was a quiet child. Most parents would have considered that a good thing but to them, quiet meant devious. Quiet meant sin. I had to be cleansed, in their eyes,”

It took her a moment to realise that she was shaking, sitting alone in her bed, open mouthed and clutching the radio for dear life. Emotion clogged her throat, putting pressure on her chest. She could have guessed his past hadn’t been pleasant but hearing him say it, without a hint of his usual bravado, chilled her to the bone. Trying to figure out what to say, she pulled her knees closer to her chest.

“Still there?”

“Yeah...yes!” She answered quickly, “Sorry, I just...John, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. You were a child, you didn’t deserve that.”

“Don’t be,” he replied curtly, “Every problem has its place, so they say. Without my past, I wouldn’t be in the position I am today,”

Rey snorted. He might not have become a rich lawyer or the herald of some delusional cult. He might have had the chance at a normal life. He might have been married somewhere living in the suburbs with a wife and a family, living a happy life day to day that didn’t involve skinning people alive.

“I wouldn’t have met you.” 

Rey fumbled with the radio, dropping it to the sheets. It was such a loaded statement, so simple on the surface but what did it really mean? She didn’t know what he was trying to say. She grabbed the radio again.

“I guess there is that,” she quipped, attempting to remain casual while her heart pounded, “I...uh, I kind of relate a little...to the adoption thing.”

“Really?” he said, his interest piqued, “Do tell.”

Rey shifted where she sat, the hand not holding the radio suddenly very interested in some stray threads on the plaid blanket. She’d done it now. It wasn’t like she could just tell John Seed to never mind, but her childhood wasn’t something she’d really shared with many people in Hope County. In her eyes, it was in the past and none of their business, so what was the point?

“I grew up in children’s homes. No parents,” she said, “Only difference is I didn’t get adopted. I just got bounced around until I was old enough to not be the state's problem anymore.”

In the silence, she wondered what he thought of her. It seemed easier saying it out loud to him when he wasn’t there in person. She didn’t have his inquisitive blue eyes there to make her feel like she had nowhere to hide. Suddenly, his voice broke the quiet.

“Nobody adopted you?” He asked. She could almost hear the frown of confusion.

“Nope. Guess I just wasn’t what people were looking for,” she shrugged to nobody, “Nobody wanted little Rhiannon.”

Silence. Five minutes. Fifteen minutes. 

“But you know, it’s like you said, every problem has its place and now I’m here.” she babbled insistently down the radio. She was fine. It wasn’t a lie, it was how she really felt. She’d made peace with her past long ago.

Only now she’d done something rare. She’d told part of her truth and to the man who was supposed to be her enemy no less. Groaning, Rey turned off her lamp, tossing the radio to the floor and not caring if it broke. 

In the fresh darkness of her room, while the outside world was calm, Rey’s mind raced. What if he was just playing games with her? He’d told her something to draw out a confession that he would use against her later on. 

What the fuck were they?

Now she was losing another night of sleep over John Seed. Rey huffed, battering her pillow back into shape and turning on her side, desperate to push him out of her mind to at least try and get more rest. 

Her eyes had only just closed when a sharp knock sounded at her door.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Does nobody want me to sleep tonight?!” she hissed, jumping from the bed and grabbing the baseball bat she left by the bedroom door.

The second she opened the front door, he was there. Rey gasped as John rushed forward, his hands coming to grasp her face, pulling her into an insistent kiss. Her resolve gone, she melted against him, the bat clattering to the wooden floor as she gripped his shoulders. When they finally broke free, he was staring down at her with a sincerity she didn’t know he was capable of.

“I’ll always want you,” he promised, one of his hands still cradling the back of her head, his statement echoing something he’d told her before. Only now she was starting to believe him. 

He was the most confusing person she’d ever met and when he acted like this, so sincere and almost romantic, she could easily forget the situation they found themselves in. Unsure how to respond, she settled for a different comment.

“What...what are you wearing?” she asked, standing back to look him up and down.

He was certainly a sight. His normally immaculate hair was unstyled, flopping over his eyes. His handmade coat covered the fact he was only wearing a pair of black sleeping pants and a pair of boots. 

“I wanted to see you and it’s almost three in the morning, I didn’t think my fashion choices would matter much,” he shrugged.

“John Seed dressed  _ down _ to see me?” Rey smiled, “That might be the sweetest thing ever.”

“Hmm. Don’t tell anyone. You’ll ruin my reputation,”

Rey sighed a laugh. If anyone found out about them it wasn’t just  _ his _ reputation that would be ruined. A million questions still loomed, each one more confusing than the last. That was a problem for future Rey to deal with.

“I’m exhausted. Are you staying?” she asked, gesturing towards the bedroom.

John paused, his eyes wary. They didn’t have this kind of relationship. They didn’t have  _ any _ kind of relationship but there he was, standing in her living room all because she’d told him that nobody had wanted her. 

And he knew how it felt to be unwanted.

“Yeah. I’ll stay.”

He followed her into her bedroom, a rush of memories bringing a smile to his face. The last time he’d been there, they’d almost broken the bed. It had been violent and carnal. This was far more delicate. Removing his boots and coat, he awkwardly slid under the duvet, wrapping Rey in his arms and pulling her into his chest.

Warm and listening to the steady beat of his heart, Rey began to finally feel sleepy.

“You’re such a problem, you know that?” she mumbled, her eyes heavy. John smiled, kissing the crown of her head.

“Every problem has its place.”


	37. Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keeping people against their will was technically not torture. Technically. 
> 
> John finds a way to show Rey that he's trying for the sake of their new relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - John and Rey's relationship is still a secret but is established and exclusive. Could say it takes place after "Bliss"
> 
> Chapter warnings: NSFW smut at the very beginning although not crazy graphic.

  
  


“Oh my God!”

“John will do…”

Any witty retort she had was lost to a moan as his teeth scraped across her throat, his hips thrusting roughly as he braced one hand next to her head. The other gripped the headboard, rattling the wood off the wall.

Sometimes she wondered what his followers patrolling the ranch could really hear. They weren’t exactly a quiet couple in bed, but those were questions to ponder when he wasn’t fucking her through the mattress.

Sweat gleamed on their skin, the only light streaming in from the mood through the skylight. John hissed as her nails dug into the back of his shoulder, raking down his tattoos as she hitched a leg up over his hip.

He could feel she was close. Since their arrangement turned relationship began, he’d learned the tells her body made. The way her breathing would quicken, how her body would pulse around him as she’d frantically grab and grip at him or the sheets, just to find purchase in something solid before she fell apart.

“I know you’ve got one more in you, angel,” he growled, “Let me hear you.”

She had no choice, the pressure building in her finally releasing as she trembled around him, moaning his name without conscious thought. His hips began to stutter, growing erratic with his own pleasure until he followed with one final thrust, peppering her neck with kisses until he rolled to the side.

Their breathing returning to normal, Rey sat up, rolling her shoulders and grabbing the blanket to cover them before the sweat cooled on their skin. John grinned up at her, the smile falling when he realised she didn’t look as happy as he did.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling her close to him. His worry only grew when he felt her resist.

“Nothing,” She replied flippantly, “I’m just kinda tired. This county is bigger than it looks.”

If there was something John was sure of, it was that he could tell when someone was lying to him. Rey was not nearly as difficult to read as others. From the moment she’d snuck her way into his home that night, he knew something had been bothering her.

“Uhuh. I don’t buy it. Come on, tell me what’s wrong? Wasn’t it you who said if this was going to work we couldn’t lie to each other?” He reminded her. Rey snorted softly, smiling but annoyance coloured her expression.

“We did,” she agreed, “I also said that a lot of the things you’ve been doing for Eden’s Gate had to stop…”

“They have stopped!” John replied, sitting up to make sure she could see how serious his face was, “I promise you since we started...this,” he gestured to them both, “I have not performed a single confession. It’s not been easy either, they’re growing suspicious. Joseph wants to know why…”

“How difficult for you,” Rey drawled, fighting an eye roll. 

“It  _ is _ difficult!” John scowled, “I’ve been able to talk my way around things so far but my family will want answers…”

“Screw them!” Rey hissed. She jumped from the bed, grabbing her clothes from the floor, “John, you said you wanted to be with me…”

“I do and  _ you _ told me that you’d accept me, sins and all. Or have you forgotten that part?” he asked calmly, ever the lawyer ready to argue his side of any case.

Rey sighed. He had a point. When she’d woken up on his bed and told him that she did want their relationship, this had been part of it. She set ground rules and, so far, he was following, but elements of his practice still didn’t sit right with her moral compass.

“You might not be performing confessions, but you still have people locked in your bunker!” She exclaimed, “I really feel like that’s part of the ‘no torturing’ rule, don’t you?”

“I…” 

She had him there. When he didn’t answer, Rey smiled at him sadly. This wasn’t a discussion that was going to be solved in one night. She crawled over the bed, kissing him on the cheek.

“When you figure it out...call me.”

00000

Smoke swirled overhead, illuminated by the glow from the wall of monitors before the ventilation system of the bunker sucked it away. John took a long drag of the lit cigarette, leaning back in the chair behind the desk to contemplate what he was looking at. Rey hated it when he smoked, but in the grand scheme of the things he could be doing, it was a small offence.

The change in him hadn’t been conscious. He hadn’t looked at himself in the mirror one morning, there was no pep talk, that caused the shift in his priorities. For longer than he cared to admit, the idea of his confessions didn’t give him the same rush that they used to. Watching those people cry, beg for their life, used to give him a feeling of power unlike any other. Now, he imagined her disappointed face and he was left with a sense of shame and guilt.

So he’d stopped, but that didn’t mean these people didn’t need saving, right? They were  _ safe _ with him in his bunker. When the collapse came, as Joseph promised it would, they would thank him for saving their lives. That’s how he’d been justifying it to himself anyway. It was his compromise, but that didn’t seem good enough for Rey.

His exhale was long and slow, mingling with a sigh. What did she want from him? He was  _ trying, _ wasn’t he? With sharp, stabbing movements, he extinguished his cigarette in the crystal ashtray, rolling his shoulders as he stood up to look closer at the screens.

Joseph demanded so much from him and it never felt like enough. In his bitter moments, John wanted to remind his brother just where their project would be without his resources. His wealth and connections. A little voice reminded him how lucky he’d been to be reunited with his family at all, so he kept those comments to himself.

But now? Now there was something else influencing his decisions. Almost everything he’d done was to avoid Joseph’s disappointment, to make his big brother happy, or to fill the void inside that ached for fulfilment. With Rey, he didn’t feel empty. Knowing that  _ he  _ made her smile soothed his perpetual anger, her praise like a balm. Her outlook on life was always moving forward. It was optimism and hope. She was a whole new motivation that he’d never experienced before and he found that he liked being the reason for her pride.

Absently, he grabbed the key around his neck. 

00000

If there was something Rey enjoyed about spending time with Grace, it was that she wasn’t the type for needless chatter.

That wasn’t to say she didn’t talk. They were friends, but Grace wasn’t the type of person who was afraid of silence. She knew the benefits and didn’t push conversation if it wasn’t there. Rey was really in no mood to make small talk. It suited her fine. They walked in companionable silence, listening for anything amiss, and Rey wrestling with her conflicted thoughts.

Most couples didn’t argue about the prospect of their significant other keeping people hostage, but then, nothing about their situation was normal. It wasn’t even what she’d consider a fight. Nobody shouted or used harsh words, but she had left him with food for thought and God, did she hope he was actually doing some real thinking.

She loved him, but loving someone wasn’t an instant fix for sociopathic behaviour and she had too much respect for herself to pretend that it was.

“Whitehorse to Jackson. Come in, Jackson?” They stopped walking, Rey grabbing her radio curiously.

“This is Jackson. Go ahead?” The radio crackled before Earl finally spoke again.

“Rey, we’ve got a situation happening in Falls End. I’m gonna need you to get there ASAP. You’re never going to believe this, over.”

“Umm...alright. I’m on my way. Over and out,”

Her stomach dropped, the familiar feeling of dread set in. In her experience, someone saying ‘you’re never going to believe this’ rarely resulted in something positive. Just another mess she’d be responsible for cleaning.

Another peggie attack, the cult taking a run at conquering the town again? Surely that wasn’t possible when John had been making an effort to lighten the cults aggression in Holland Valley. Then again, it was John. Technicalities were his speciality, she thought somewhat bitterly.

“Holy shit…”

The normally empty streets were full of people. They seemed confused, some crying with happiness and relief as they rushed towards friends and family they assumed they’d never see again. Grace and Rey wandered among them, their mouths hanging agape with surprise.

“Rey!”

“Hudson?!” Rey cried, the other girl throwing herself at her, “Jesus Christ, I thought...I mean...what’s going on?”

She stood back, taking in Joey’s appearance. Her clothes were a little worn, but considering the last time she saw her they’d been tied to chairs, she looked okay. Better than okay, Rey realised. Hudson looked almost healthy. 

“They...they let us go, Rook!” Hudson choked, tears streaming down her cheeks, “Something happened, something...changed. The confessions just stopped one day. We waited and waited but they never took us back to that room. They started taking care of us...hot food, unlimited fresh water. We all thought it was a trick, that they wanted us to trust them. Today they opened the gates, something about us not being pure enough for the Father and we’d to just...go.”

“Go? As in leave, just like that?!” Rey asked frantically, her mind spinning. Hudson nodded shakily.

  
“We thought they were going to kill us,” she sobbed, “But...they told us we had 2 minutes to get away from the bunker. So we did. We all ran…as far and as fast as we could,”

Her sobs took over, her knees finally giving out as she clung onto Rey for support. The mental toll finally showed as physical exhaustion. She couldn’t imagine the shock Hudson was going through, not knowing if she was going to live or die, and the guilt gnawed at her. She could have done more to help Hudson, pressed John harder to let her go, but she didn’t. That was something she’d have to live with for the rest of her life.

Something in her pocket vibrated, the newly freed residents of the Valley all causing a commotion in the sleepy town. Passing Hudson to another officer for care, Rey reached into her pocket to grab her phone, a message from a familiar number on the screen.

_ <Come and say Yes> _

00000

With so much uproar and the prospect of getting people settled, Rey was amazed she found time to slip away unnoticed and while John’s suggested meeting place came with stunning views, her legs burned as she hiked her way towards the obnoxious sign. The sun was setting over the horizon, tinting the sky a glorious shade of pink blending into a purple and deep blue, she supposed it was worth it.

John was sitting on his coat, leaning back on his hands, his legs stretched out in front of him.

“You let them go?!” Rey cried. His beliefs were so deeply held, she still found it hard to believe, “You...actually let them all go?”

John patted the space next to him on the silk lining, Rey coming to sit next to him. The giant white ‘E’ towered about them.

“They weren’t pure enough for the project,” He shrugged flippantly, looking out to the sky, “When the collapse comes, they’ll have to fend for themselves.” Rey shuffled closed to him, narrowing her eyes with suspicion.

“Really? So it had absolutely nothing to do with our conversation a few days ago?” She asked, “What about your family? What are you going to tell Joseph?”

“I’ll tell him exactly that. They weren’t pure enough for the project. They wouldn’t confess,” John pressed, this time turning to look at her with his poker face intact, “If you don’t confess, you can’t atone and the gates of Eden will be closed.”

She regarded him carefully, certain that there was more to all of this than he was letting on. His belief was deep-rooted, his loyalty to his family ingrained, but from the wry smile on his face, she knew she wasn’t getting answers tonight.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” she smiled, nudging his shoulder, “But I’m proud of you, all the same, whatever the reason. It was the right thing to do,” Heat bloomed in his chest, his jaw clenching as he looked away again, afraid that she’d see too much. “How do I know it won’t happen again? That Joseph won’t convince you to start taking people?”

Her question, valid as it was, stung, and he realised she had less trust in him that he thought. Not that he blamed her. The things he had done to her, to her friends, all spoke of a pattern of behaviour. One that he was trying to break but in the same way that took time, her unconditional trust wasn’t just going to appear overnight.

“Here,” he said, reaching around his neck. He pulled the key up and over his head, handing it to her, “This is yours now.”

“Your key?”

“My key. I won’t be needing it anymore and who better to have it than you?”

Rey examined the object, holding up the leather chord so it swung delicately. She didn’t want to feel foolish by reading too much into the gesture. To John, it might have just been a key. Something useless. To Rey, it felt like so much more.

“I know it’s not exactly a diamond necklace…”

“Why are you giving me this?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound as desperate as she felt. John reached forward, gently grasping her chin to kiss her sweetly in the fading light.

“Because I want you to trust me,” he said honestly, “This is...new for me. I’m not perfect, I’m not saying I’m going to become this virtuous person instantly but...I am trying, Rey.”

Looping the key around her neck, Rey smiled at him proudly, allowing him to pull her back onto the ground. It was what she’d needed to hear. Something honest and realistic. Obtainable. She sighed with contentment, her head on his chest. So far away from everyone, lost in their own world where there was no cult or resistance, Rey felt her optimism surge.

The crystal sky had finally darkened enough, the stars appearing above them in a moment of rare peace.

“How do you think this will end?” she asked quietly. The breeze brought the smell of grass and the sounds of the forest to them, crickets chirping in the distance. She barely felt him shake his head.

“I don’t.”

His answer only widened her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love. Comments are life. I read them all and I appreciate every one of them (even if I'm terrible at replying)


	38. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John finally gets Rey into the bunker for a confession, pushing Rey's conflicted feelings further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - After the arrest, long before their first kiss or relationship. Rey's version of the Confession mission.
> 
> Chapter warnings: Danger, peril, attraction to a psychopath, topless John.

Rey had barely felt the bullet as it caught the back of her leg, catching her calf muscle just enough to break the skin. The bliss was swept into her blood, her head instantly beginning to spin and vision fogging until the men in front of her were nothing more than undefined shapes and indistinct sounds.

Even the freezing cold water she found herself dunked in couldn’t bring her to her senses. The green barrels sitting conspicuously by the edge of the water no doubt saw to that, making sure everyone Eden’s Gate had grabbed remained compliant. 

She was dropped on the unforgiving floor of the bunker cell with a thud, still damp and intoxicated.

“Wake up, sinner!”

“Still think it would be better to put a bullet in ‘em,”

“That is not the will of the father! Get them up, John’s ready for their confession,”

Control of her muscles was returning but that didn’t mean Rey felt like cooperating, making herself as heavy as possible for the men tasked with dragging her into John’s chambers. It almost disappointed her when they deposited her body onto the chair, wheeling her into the dull room.

“Holy shit, Joey!”

The other women looked like hell. Her face was bruised and dirty, bound to her chair just the same as Rey. Tape covered her mouth, her words muffled into panicked sounds as she tugged at her restraints.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Rey babbled, looking at the foreboding room around them, “I’m going to get you out. I’ll think of something,”

Where the fuck where they? The room smelled faintly of iron, metallic at the back of her throat as she tried to get her bearings. The elaborate chandelier stood out from the chains and hooks, filtering the amber light, highlighting the sickening stains on the floor. A camera was set up in the corner by the workbench, the bundles that hung to the side a suspiciously familiar shape.

“Jesus fucking Chris,” She breathed, willing her lip to stop trembling. Of all the things she imagined, it had been nothing as nightmarish as where she found herself. Her stomach lurched, the musty stench of the room combining with her tumultuous emotions.

The heavy metal door slammed closed, the sound reverberating through her skull, bringing her thoughts to a standstill. As it faded away, she could hear him whistling.

The bastard was  _ whistling. _

“Let us go, John!” Rey demanded, but John paid her no attention. He simply continued whistling, placing the toolbox in his hand on the workbench, dramatically cleaning the dust away, “Are you listening to me, fucking let us go!”

John spun around, leaning on the bench casually with an amused smile on his face.

“So angry, deputy,” He said, “And to think I was being nice not taping your mouth shut.”

Rey sneered but said nothing, tilting her chin upwards in defiance. The action only made John chuckle. 

“You know, my parents were the first ones to teach me about the power of yes,” he began to pace the room as he spoke, casually unbuttoning his vest, “One night they took me into the kitchen and they threw me on the ground. I experienced pain, after pain, after pain and when I didn’t think I could take anymore...I did…”

He removed his vest, hanging it on a random hook before beginning to unbutton his blue shirt. Rey watched him carefully, her brow furrowing.

“What are you doing?” She asked, her eyes wandering his body. The air in the room felt thick, clogging her throat when she tried to take a deep, steadying breath. Sweat already shone on his skin, the scales of justice tattooed on his sternum surrounded by various scars. Her eyes caught sight of ‘LUST’ peeking out from his adonis muscles. She swallowed back the lump in her throat.

Her stomach tightened, the pang that clutched her chest coming from something other than fear. John was charismatic as hell, he always had been, and now she was getting a front-row view of his body up close. He leaned forward towards her, pushing some stray hair from his face. The breath she took to calm herself only made her confusion worse. He smelled of expensive aftershave. Spiced, dark and just as intoxicating as the bliss that had brought her there.

_ You’re sick Jackson… _

He had her tied to a chair in what looked like a torture chamber. He was holding her friend hostage, Hudson still on the other side of the room. He attached the cable to the tattoo needle, the buzz of his test making her shiver. Still, the attraction she was always trying to fight was bubbling to the surface. It was easier to ignore when he was just a voice over the radio or a picture on a billboard. Rey clenched her jaw, forcing some steel into her gaze. The last thing she needed was John  _ knowing. _

“It’s hot in here, deputy,” he shrugged, completely naked from the waist up, “Not to mention, these confessions tend to get a little...messy and my clothes are expensive,”

“You don’t have to do this, John,” Rey tried to reason but John wasn’t for listening.

“But you see, I do! What my parents did was set me free…” He reached out to grab the front of her shirt, pulling it open and exposing her chest to the light. Grabbing the sponge on the table, he squeezed out the excess water, “But it was Joseph who showed me just how selfish I was being...always receiving, always taking…”

Rey wanted to pull herself away from his grasp, pushing back into the chair as he pressed the sponge to her chest. The cool water drew a gasp unbidden and she prayed he would assume it was from fear. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the arms of the chair, feeling his fingers graze her bare skin like a brand. His hand lingered, staring down at her in silence through soft, half-mast eyes. 

Her own heartbeat pounded in her ears, the world around them falling away until he was the only thing she could focus on. Not Hudson, or the horrific room she found herself in. Her lungs burned, barely breathing as his magnetic eyes held her gaze, the air between them charged like an oncoming storm.

Breaking a trance, he cleared his throat, withdrawing his hand as if she’d burned him.

“The best gift isn’t the one you get, it’s the one you give. Giving takes courage,” he said, his voice uneven and rough as he collected himself, abruptly turning away to wander the room.

Without him so close, Rey felt like she could think a little clearer, the severity of her situation coming back to the forefront of her mind. 

“I’m going to teach you courage, teach you how to say yes!” John declared proudly, “So you can confront your weaknesses, confront your sins! You will swim across an ocean of pain and emerge...free!”

The screwdriver he’d picked up hovered barely an inch in front of Rey’s face, his wide eyes manic but with a focus she’d rarely seen. She flinched when he moved suddenly, standing between the two chairs.

“So, who wants to go first?”

“John, you don’t need to do this. You can just let us go, we can work something out…” 

He shook his head violently, his hair falling in front of his face as he scowled.

“No, no, no! See, you don’t understand, you don’t get it... _ you _ have to reach atonement!” He snapped, “Then we can be together.” 

His movements were nervous and jerky, the muscle below his left eye twitching as he spoke. Rey blinked at him. He didn’t mean that surely? Not the way it sounded?

“To...together?” 

“Yes, together...we’ll all march through Eden’s Gate together,” he finished.

Rey hid her sigh, deciding that now was not the time to analyze the disappointment she was feeling.

“But this is lesson number one...someone’s got to choose!” he snapped, growing more impatient by the minute. 

Hudson wailed below her taped mouth, pulling at her restrained arms and legs, shaking her head spilling fresh tears down her cheeks. Rey had heard the recordings John had been playing of her around Hope County. There was no way Hudson would last.

“Yes! For Fucks sake, yes. I’ll go first!” Rey cried. 

John turned back to her, his face elated and eyes sparkling.

“Yes!” He grinned, “You’re not going to regret this. I promise,” He finished softly. If she hadn’t known any better, Rey could have sworn there was almost a tenderness there, a gentleness she rarely saw from him. In the blink of an eye, it was gone.

“Now, before we begin, I think it’s only proper that Deputy Hudson goes back to her room,” he smirked, “Confessions are supposed to be private after all!”

He grabbed Hudson’s chair, pushing her towards the exit as she screamed, desperately trying to escape his grasp. John tutted, rolling his eyes, his patience wearing thin.

“Shhh. I am  _ not _ here to take your life, I’m here to give it to you,” he said, exasperated, “I’m going to open you, I’ll pour your worst fears inside and as you choke...your sins will reveal themselves. Be right back!”

Her stomach sank when he disappeared, the door slamming shut and locking from the outside. Finally alone, the fog in her mind quickly cleared, panic set in when she remembered exactly where she was. Even if she could get through to John, this was his world. Nothing was going to get through to him here and the longer she stayed, the more danger she was in.

“Fuck...fuck, I need to get out of here!” Rey hissed to herself, trying to find somewhere,  _ anywhere _ that she could go, “Stairs!”

Her core burned, using her body to push herself towards the unwelcoming metal stairs. It was going to hurt, but what other option did she have? There was no way she was waiting for John to come back and make good on his promises.

The chair teetered on the top step, Rey taking a deep breath before giving one final push. The chair tipped and she cried out with every bounce, the chair clattering down each step until she landed in an unceremonious heap at the bottom of the stairs.

Her body ached and her elbows were skinned, but at least she was free. Rey pulled the last of the tape from her feet and wrists, immediately sneaking through the pipes and away from the room. There was no telling when John would return and she didn’t want to be there when he came back. Getting through to the man would have to wait. The most important thing was finding Hudson and getting out safely.

“Okay, now I need to work out where the hell I am…” Rey muttered to herself, carefully and silently creeping through the corridors. 

A hunting knife left by the side of a bunk was the first stray weapon she could find, but Rey was determined to kill as few cultists as possible. Leaving bodies would create a trail and increase the likelihood she’d be caught. She had a better chance if everyone still believed she was secured in John’s room.

“Our souls need to confess. By looking deep within ourselves, by exposing the darkness inside us…” 

Rey froze, pressed against a corner as the speaker system kicked in, John’s voice echoing through the corridors, haunting her every step. Yet more evidence that she was in his domain, but she couldn’t help but snigger.

“Extra as hell, John,” she mumbled, “Got any more pearls of wisdom?”

“We free our souls from the burden of their sins. That is what I’m offering,” he continued, taunting her from wherever he was, “So, I will save you, deputy...I will lift that burden. I will help you confess.”

“Like hell, you will,” she growled, continuing through the corridors.

She used to consider herself a good judge of character. John had been a little full-on when they’d first met but never in her life could she have guessed he was so troubled, so indoctrinated. Despite the actions of Eden’s Gate, the orders he’d given in Holland Valley, she wanted to believe that there was still something of the man she’d first met.

“Things could be worse you know…”

“Oh is that right? Do tell,” Rey grumbled, rounding a corner into a different silo.

“Here you just have to confess. In the east? Well, let’s just say too much bliss can go to one’s head.” he sounded almost as if he was laughing, “Faith created her Angels, but she never did treat them all that well,”

“And yet you coat your bullets in it. Comforting.”

Rey paused, catching a glimpse of his tattooed back rounding a corner into another sealed room. The corridor seemed empty, Rey taking her chance to run in the open, just missing the door as it closed. John’s smile taunted her from the other side of the glass.

“I know your sin,” he said, “It drives you, every thought, every action,”

“Because you know me so well!” Rey replied sarcastically, smacking on the door, “Let Hudson go!”

“Your sin is wrath,” he declared, looking pleased with himself.

“You want to see what wrath really looks like? Open this door!”

“I’ll indulge you: become wrath,” he laughed, “Let it fill your body and consume your soul because, in the end, you’ll still be empty and I’ll be waiting right here...we both will,” he looked back to Hudson, her eyes wide with fear.

Rey slammed her hand against the glass again.

“What the hell does that even mean!?” She shouted, watching helplessly as he grabbed Hudson’s chair to drag her away, pressing a button on the remote control in his other hand, “John!”

The pipes around her rattled, the smell of sickly sweet bliss blowing into the corridor. Rey let out a shout of frustration. She had two choices. Run as fast as she could, to escape where she could formulate a new plan, or she could stay and fall victim to the bliss once more where she would be no use to anyone.

Given the choices, Rey began to run. 

“Give her all the Wrath she can handle, brothers. Say yes!” 

“When I come back here, I’m going to break that fucking speaker!” 

Her legs burned as she climbed the stairs, her head already starting to spin with every deep breath she was forced to take, dodging angels and fighting for her life. Finally breaking out to the surface, the light stung her eyes, her legs starting to give as she inelegantly stumbled down the hillside.

“There’s nothing more you can do here, deputy. I’ll come for you when you’re good and ready!”

Passing under the arch of the road bridge, Rey skidded down the hill, sliding to a stop on the grass and dirt. She blinked up at the Montana blue sky, taking a deep breath in the fresh air to try and clear her lungs of bliss. Now she had finally stopped, she could feel every bump and bruise on her body. Her back ached, her skinned elbows stung and she could scarcely believe that she’d made it out alive with nothing more than superficial injuries.

She had to move, to get as far away from the bunker as possible but moving felt so overwhelming. Her body felt rooted to the ground, her limbs heavy as lead, her head confused without the bliss to take the blame.

The radio attached to her hip crackled.

“Kid! I got word that John had grabbed you and I feared the worse!” Dutch called, his voice broken and static through the dented radio. “Glad to see you got out. Your partner Hudson is in a world of trouble, but we’ll need to deal with that later. I need you to get to Falls End as quick as you can,”

_ I’m fine, Dutch, thanks for asking… _

Sighing to herself, Rey didn’t muster the energy to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 more chapters to go!


	39. Nick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet has a girlfriend, but her new partner's father isn't exactly thrilled that his baby girl is dating John Seed's daughter. 
> 
> John and Nick try to find some common ground after years of fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Takes place long after they leave the bunker. Violet is 22 and Carmina is 23. New Dawn time.

  
  


Violet fidgeted with her fingers, her hands clammy as she paced by the backdoor of Prosperity. The day was winding down, a trace of orange and pink lingering in the sky. People had finished their work for the day. The farms were tended, the sound of guitars being played around fires in the distance around their settlements.

She’d rehearsed what she was going to say for hours now, her parents sitting by the fire unaware that their only daughter was outside pacing a trench in the ground. Taking a deep breath, she finally walked into the sitting room.

Rey and John were as she expected them, lying on the old sofa together. Rey was stretched out, her head in her husband’s lap while John was sitting back, a book in one hand and his other absently stroking her hair. Both seemed blissful and relaxed, illuminated by the fireplace.

Violet cleared her throat, both parents looking to her expectantly.

“Mom, Dad…,” Violet began, holding herself as tall as possible, “I have something that I need to tell you!”

Rey swung her legs down from the sofa, sitting up to pay attention. John closed his book.

“Is everything alright, sweetheart?” Rey asked. 

Violet could feel a lump forming in her throat, her parents staring at her with love and concern that the idea of disappointing them made her feel sick. She swallowed, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet.

“Umm, yeah everything is fine,” She said, “It’s just...well, I don’t know how to tell you this but I’ve been...seeing someone,”

Rey smiled widely but John remained wary.

“Well...that’s great!” Rey concluded, placing a warning hand on John’s knee, “Do we know them?”

“I’d say so,” Violet answered nervously, grabbing the edge of her old denim jacket to give her hands something to do. 

John raised a quizzical eyebrow, leaning forward where he sat. Her mother wasn’t the parent she’d worried about. Rey was protective, sure, but she was reasonable. John, for all he’d mellowed over the years, still had an unpredictable nature. She was his only daughter. It was natural he wanted to know who she’d chosen.

“Well, who is it?” he pressed, “Is it Jonah Harrington? Did he finally wear you down?!”

“Yes, Dad, because every girl wants someone who just ‘wore them down’,” Violet rolled her eyes, “No, it’s not Jonah. We’re just friends.”

“Hey, worked for me with your Mom,” John sniggered, “He’s a nice boy. Good parents...Are you sure it’s not Jonah?”

“It’s not Jonah!” Violet snapped, “It’s...Carmina,” She exhaled, the tension in her body finally draining with her revelation.

Her parents both sat quietly, processing the information they’d been given. John spoke first.

“Carmina...Rye?” he asked. Violet nodded, “Oh…”

“When did this start?” Rey asked kindly, “Sit down, honey,”

Violet, finally beginning to relax, took the armchair across from them at the other side of the fire.

“My birthday,” she said, smiling shyly at her mother, “We just...I don’t know how to explain it, Mom. When I’m with her everything is peaceful and easy,”

“Hmm. I wonder what that’s like?” Rey smirked, looking over to John who sniffed indignantly. 

“Say whatever you like darling, our life has never been boring!” John drawled before turning his attention back to Violet, “Vi, you’re not a child anymore. If you’re happy then...I’m happy for you. Carmina is a nice girl. I have to ask, what do Nick and Kim Rye think of this?”

The relaxed smile on Violet’s face fell, slumping back into her chair.

“She told them a few days ago. It...didn't go well,”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, “We’ve been fine with the Rye family for years!”

“Fine is a stretch,” John commented.

Their relationship with Kim and Nick Rye had been complicated since peace had been declared. Kim and Nick had felt hurt, betrayed, that Rey had married John, neither able to understand how she could look past and forgive the things he’d done. Kim was the first to extend the olive branch. She missed her friend and insisted their apprehension came from wanting to know that Rey was safe. Slowly their relationship improved, although Nick and John never really spoke beyond civil social niceties. 

Then the bombs fell.

The Rye’s had escaped to another bunker with their daughter, living the same underground life as the others. Their reunion had been less than joyous. Kim and Rey had hugged and laughed, introducing their daughters to one another and crying about how relieved they were to see each other safe and well.

Nick on the other hand had sucker-punched John straight in the face, screaming about how the state of the world was all the peggies fault. He called Eden’s Gate for everything, cursing them until his throat was raw as John wiped the blood from his nose. 17 years later and the two men were still on tentative ground.

“Carmina was pretty upset,” Violet said, “Her dad was really angry. She wants us to work but she hates making her family upset. I get it, I’d feel the same way!”

“That poor girl,” Rey sighed, “John, we need to fix this,”

“Fix what? Nick is never going to be okay with me,” John said, his gaze following Rey as she stood to pace in front of the fire, her face thoughtful like she was working out a puzzle.

“He doesn’t need to be okay with you, but he  _ does  _ need to be okay with Carmina’s choice,” She said, “I think you should talk with him.”

“Me?” John spluttered, “Rey, I really think it would be better if you spoke to him.”

“Mom’s right, I think it needs to be you, Dad!” Violet added, standing to join her mother in front of him.

John sighed. His two girls stood in front of him with wide, pleading eyes. Violet was almost pouting, her baby blues shining in the firelight. He groaned, tipping his head back against the sofa.

“Fine. I will talk to Nick Rye.”

00000

John grumbled the whole way to what was left of Falls End. 

Agreeing on a neutral location had taken long enough, neither man wanting to move from their homestead until their wives had put their foot down. The dilapidated church seemed like as good a place as any.

Walking into the church caused John to shiver, an uncomfortable array of memories flooding back and suddenly he wondered if the place he’d skinned the sin from Nick’s chest was a sensible place to talk things out. Still, he was there. It was too late to back out.

As he was inspecting the peeling paint on the walls, footsteps crunching on the gravel broke the silence.

“John.”

They stood apart, both men eyeing each other carefully. When Nick was satisfied John didn’t seem to be carrying any weapons, he stepped further into the church.

“Nick.”

“Seems we’ve got a bit of a situation,” Nick said, crossing his arms defensively across his body.

“We do.”

“So what are we going to do about it?”

“What do you mean ‘do about it’?” John asked, “We need to learn to co-exist...for the sake of our girls.”

Nick scoffed, screwing his face in disgust. 

“Ain’t no way my daughter is going to be with a damn peggie!” he spat, levelling a finger at John’s face. 

John sneered, stepping forward to the challenge. Nobody spoke about his daughter.

“Violet isn’t a peggie!” He snapped back, “You’re living in the past. I haven’t been part of Eden’s Gate for almost 20 years!”

“Once a cultist, always a cultist.” Nick sniggered unkindly, shaking his head, “You made our lives in Holland Valley a freakin’ nightmare. You and your stupid family caused all of this! Nah, I know the poison runs deep.”

John groaned, shaking his head and running his hands through his greying hair in frustration.

“Christ, Rye, it’s like we’re going in circles!” He sighed, “You know what, I can’t convince you...I don’t know what else I can do, but if you don’t trust me then at least trust Rey! Violet is just as much her daughter. We didn’t  _ cause _ anything...Joseph warned you all about the collapse, it’s not our fault that none of you believed him!”

Nick opened his mouth to speak, his jaw almost immediately snapping closed again when he realised he didn’t have a comeback. It was easy to blame Eden’s Gate, to focus his resentment on an organisation that had dramatically changed over the years. It helped him come to terms with what happened to their lives, to their world. Taking that away and forcing him to deal with his own resentment was something Nick wasn’t ready to deal with.

“You won’t take responsibility for anything,” Nick muttered. 

“You know that’s not true,” John scowled indignantly. “You can see it. I know you can and I know that you  _ hate  _ it...because if I can change, if Rey can forgive me then where else can you place your hate?”

Nick narrowed his eyes but said nothing, rapidly searching John’s face for any hint of dishonesty. Finding none, he sighed, his body sinking in defeat.

“Nick, you don’t have to like me. We don’t have to be close friends but don’t punish Carmina for our past.”

“I...I’m not!” Nick stuttered, the heat from his expression gone. He wandered to a broken pew to sit down, “She’s my daughter. My firstborn. I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

“You think I don’t know what that’s like?” John asked, matching the other man and sitting down, “Violet is my only daughter.”

After a thoughtful silence, Nick chuckled.

“Ain’t no way I’d have ever thought things would turn out like this,” he said, pinching the spot between his brows, “Sitting with you...after the world fucking ended...talking about how our daughters want to date,”

“Something tells me they’ve been dating longer than we think,” John snorted, “But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my old age it’s that life never goes the way you plan it.”

They sat in silence, staring at each other with blank faces, each lost in their own thoughts. The constant cyclical conversations, the rehashing of old arguments were getting tiresome. Truthfully, it had been tiresome for years. He’d committed his crimes, he’d admitted his wrongs and begged for forgiveness. Yet atonement, true atonement, was always something he was striving to obtain, wondering if he’d ever achieved it.

Some days John felt positive about his life and the progress he had made drowning his demons, but when faced with a man like Nick Rye, still so full of unrelenting bitterness, he felt himself being dragged back. He knew how that bitterness, that anger, felt and he knew how hard it was to surface from it.

“So where do we go from here?” Nick asked, his face helpless. John smiled sadly, feeling something akin to pity for the man. 

“Carmina and Violet are happy. Surely in this totally fucked world, that’s worth something?” John said. 

Nick shifted uncomfortably where he said, his brow furrowing thoughtfully. John could see the way his eyes strained, his jaw working as he tried to wrestle with his conflicted thoughts. He understood. The pilot just wanted what was best for his daughter, but it was going to come at the price of swallowing his pride.

“I...I guess so,” he admitted reluctantly, scratching the back of his neck and avoiding John’s eyes, “I suppose I owe some kind of an apology.”

“For what?”

“I didn’t mean to insult Violet. That wasn’t my intention. It’s just...it’s hard to separate it all in my head, man.” 

John’s eyes widened slightly, a thoughtful ‘hmm’ emanating from the back of his throat. Really, it hadn’t occurred to him that Nick’s dismissal of Violet had been an insult. He’d understood that it had been more to do with Nick’s dislike of him, rather than his daughter, but still if the man in front of him wanted to apologise, who was John to stop him.

“You might not believe this but I do understand. Wanting to be with Rey...I had to do a lot of soul searching. I had to see things from her point of view and it was hard, seeing all the things I’d done. So, I don’t expect forgiveness, I don’t expect people to forget. All I want you to know is that I’m a different man now and Violet is by far the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“Hmm. For a while, things weren’t so bad,” Nick mused, “Before those fucking bombs. Hell, you even came over to my house a few times with Rey,”

“I did. If I remember, we even had some conversations about mechanics and you didn’t burst into flames,” John smirked.

“You're still working on your old bird?” Nick asked. 

John nodded.

“When I can. I don’t think she’ll ever really be fit for the air again. Too risky when she was already a vintage model  _ before  _ everything went to shit. You can come and take a look...if you like?” John said.

Nick smiled.

00000

“All technology, huh? You know I wondered why you guys had suddenly broken up. You were always going on about going through those gates. Hand me that socket wrench?”

John reached into the old toolbox, handing the wrench to Nick as he peered into the old plane's engine.

“Joseph just had other ideas. Believe me, I was just as horrified when he told me his plans,” John said, “I’m just glad my other brother agreed with me.”

“So they really just use things like arrows and spears?”

“Yup. No generators, or any kind of electricity. The people who followed him throw things from the old world in the big fire near his old statue as a sacrifice to God,”

“No way!”

“I’m serious!”

Outside the old hangar, Violet and Carmina lingered by the door, listening to their parent's talk.

“Do they sound mad?” Violet whispered. Carmina shook her head.

“Nope, I think...holy shit, I think my dad is laughing,” Carmina gasped, “He is! He’s laughing at something your dad said!”

“Maybe this means they’re not going to try and kill each other,” Violet said hopefully as Carmina came away from the door, turning to her girlfriend, “That we can actually just...be a family,”

Carmina grabbed Violet’s hands, swooping forward to kiss her girlfriend sweetly. Violet giggled, a soft blush creeping over her cheeks. Together, they headed back towards the house, leaving their fathers to bond over their common ground and basking in their new hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 more chapter to go!


	40. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At 75, John reflects on his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Timeline** Rey's Canon - Takes place long after everything. Prosperity is being run by Violet and Carmina, John is an old man.
> 
> Relatively short chapter. More like an epilogue.
> 
> This is it. This is the final instalment in John and Rey's story. I know I could keep it going with just lots of random moments but if there's something I hate it's a story that drags on for no reason. All their key moments have been written and I feel it's now time to reach the natural conclusion. (There's a collection of one-shots and AUs if I wanna add more for them!)
> 
> Thank you for reading!

John shivered as he pulled himself out of bed, regretting his decision to emerge from under the blankets. Not that it mattered much. Regardless of the weather, he noticed that he felt cold often, and it was only getting worse with age. 

His hip ached as he stood, hobbling slowly around the bedroom to gather his things for washing. Old habits die hard. Even if he was no longer ‘the baptist’, even if he was retired from running Prosperity, he refused to be caught dead outside without at least making himself presentable first.

He liked to think he’d aged well considering all he’d been through. Time had turned his hair silver, his beard white and flecked, even if his body was beginning to fail him, his eyes were sharp as ever. He smiled to himself in the old mirror.

“Still got it, Johnny,” he mumbled. He finished dressing, pulling on his trusty black sweater and slowly making his way down towards the kitchen.

“Morning Dad,” Violet greeted as he walked in, “There’s coffee sitting on the counter for you,” 

She nodded towards the single mug. John frowned, shaking his head. Slowly he wandered to a cupboard, grabbing another old mug to fill with the last of the black liquid from the pot on the old stove.

“What...are you doing, Dad?” Violet asked. Really, she already knew the answer. 

“I’m going to see your Mother,” John replied, frowning as if it were obvious, as if she should have known better and what a stupid question that was.

Violet opened her mouth to reply, but it was no use. He was 75 years old. What use was there correcting him? Instead, she smiled indulgently, nodding with a sad smile.

“Alright, Dad. If you’re going outside, please remember to take your coat. It might snow soon.” she insisted.

“You don’t need to fuss over me, sweetheart,” He said, grabbing the two cups.

Violet watched her father carefully. He’d been her hero growing up. They both had, Rey and John. Now in her 40s, she knew the stories of what her father and uncles had done, about Eden’s Gate, but she also knew the story of the junior deputy who’d fallen in love, who’d created peace. It was as close to a God damn fairytale as she would get and nobody could tell her differently.

If you didn’t include all the bloodshed, that is.

Still, it was hard to watch him without worrying now. Winters could be hard and despite how much he protested, he wasn’t young anymore. He was moving slower, sickness took longer to recover from. She watched him until he’d left the room, hoping that he would actually listen to her about the coat.

He had not.

John walked with slow determination, his bad hip aching the entire time, his chest growing tight. He passed through the gates, finding peace in the solitude of where he was going. The hilltop had a beautiful view, it was one of Rey’s favourites. The sun was rising over the county, it’s pale yellow glow heralding the start of winter. Carefully he sat himself down on the ground.

“Morning angel,” he smiled, “Our daughter is becoming more and more like you every day. This morning’s lecture was on wearing a coat.”

He placed the mug of coffee next to the small headstone. 

“You’d probably tell me the same. She says it’s going to snow soon. You were always an expert on snow. Maybe she’s learned that from you,” he chuckled, sipping at his own mug.

Jacob had been the first to leave them, passing peacefully in his sleep only a few days shy of his 70th birthday. Joseph had followed only two years later, succumbing to a nasty case of pneumonia. Faith and her refusal of anything other than crude herbal medicine had also passed on. Rey had been by his side for the loss of his family, holding his hand and drying his tears.

Even the famed Deputy was only human. It had started as a cough she couldn’t quite shake, a fever that wouldn’t cool. There was no treatment strong enough for the aggressive strain of Flu that had taken over. Rey Jackson had died surrounded by the family she’d grown up wanting, knowing she was loved, that she was wanted and now he knew that  _ this _ was his punishment for his sins.

He was the only one left. It was far crueller a fate to live than to die. For a while, he’d considered it, lost in his grief until he realized just how angry the thought would have made her. Visiting her grave and talking began as a way of coping but he found he liked the peace. He liked the view. He liked knowing that she would be proud of him for carrying on.

Today felt different.

He shivered again, clutching his mug a little tighter as a dull hit of pain landed in his chest.

“Hmm. Maybe Violet had a point. It is getting cold out here,” he said, “I had a dream about you last night. I dream about you a lot but...this felt different. The diner in Falls End...you were sitting there. You looked  _ exactly _ the way you looked the day we met wearing that green shirt and your hair in that ponytail. You...you looked up at me and you just smiled that  _ Rey _ smile...it was like you were waiting for me…”

He sighed, sipping his cooled coffee.

“Are you?” he asked quietly, “Waiting for me?”

He laughed at himself, shaking his head. He wished Joseph were there to listen to him, to help guide him to whatever meaning could be found. He’d been making the journey to New Eden only up until last year, Violet insisting that it was too far for him with his advancing age. It was a shame. He’d have liked to pay his respects to Joseph and Faith one last time.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

John looked up at the voice. Sarah Harrington was walking towards him, his battered coat in her hands. He didn’t try to protest when she draped it over his shoulders.

“I assume my daughter sent you?” he smiled. 

“She might have mentioned something and since I was coming out to see Marcus, I thought I’d do her a favour,” she replied, “How are you, John?”

Her hair had long lost its golden shine, but Sarah was still bright and beautiful. She’d come a long way since her days as a terrified Eden’s Gate follower. No longer riddled with anxiety, some could even say that the collapse was the making of her. A quick reply on the tip of his tongue died. There was no use in hiding things anymore.

“I’m tired, Sarah.” he confessed, “All the days feel like they’re just rolling into one. How do you do it...how do you keep going?”

Sarah sighed, glancing to where Marcus had been laid to rest with a bittersweet smile on her face.

“Because that’s what he would have wanted me to do,” she said, “Our daughters, our son, they might be grown now but I still need to be here for them, for my grandchildren. Marcus and I had a long and happy life together. He would want me to carry on for him and I want to make sure my family knows what a great man he was. That helps,”

“I suppose everything ends eventually,” John said ruefully, “I’m sorry, I’m not exactly being cheerful this morning,”

“And  _ that _ is something I know Rey would not stand for,” Sarah laughed gently, “Take care of yourself, John.”

She wasn’t being rude, John knew that. Sarah was there for the same reason as he was, to pay respect and spend time with the departed. He finished the last of his coffee in silence, saying nothing to the grave in front of him, but patting the headstone gently as he stood, pulling his old duster coat around him when a cutting breeze passed.

The coat has seen better days. It astounded him that it was even still around, with arms stitched back together, the leather tarnished and the fabric faded to the point the pattern was barely visible, but it felt right around his shoulders. Still, something felt off about the day, a gut feeling that he couldn’t place. The cold felt like it was seeping into his bones, chilling him to the core.

He walked past the gates once more, brushing off those who were rushing to help him. They meant no harm, but John had never enjoyed being treated like a feeble old man. By the time he’d made it to the armchair by the fire, he was almost out of breath.

“Jacob would have loved that,” he sniggered to himself. Jacob had often teased him about his fitness, before and after the collapse. It was just another thing he missed about his eldest brother.

The fire crackled, comforting and warm, driving away the chill as he looked up at the mantle. The pictures placed there were decades old, some so faded you could barely tell who they were, but John knew. 

“I miss you,” he said quietly to the pictures, “All of you. It feels like some kind of cruel joke…” he narrowed in on the picture of Joseph, “You once said that you’d seen me die old because I let love into my heart...I did that. You didn’t mention that I’d be left behind!” he said bitterly.

He sighed, sitting back into the chair and pushing his silver hair from his eyes, staring ahead at nothing.

“I tried, I changed...is  _ this _ my atonement?” he asked nobody, laughing humourlessly under his breath, “Or am I reading too much into it all? Maybe I’m just a stupid old man who misses his family...sitting talking to pictures,”

He looked back at the pictures and smiled at the memory. Joseph looked stoic as ever although in a separate group picture it almost looked as if he were ready to smile. Faith grinned in all of them, encouraging Jacob and himself to do the same. The smile slipped away when he was reminded that as much as he wanted them to, they wouldn’t reply.

“Dad? Are you talking to someone?” Violet’s voice drifted toward him as she emerged from the kitchen. John fixed a smile to his face and shook his head.

“No, angel, just talking to myself...as usual,” He said, “You okay?”

“I was going to go into the hanger and do some work on Carmina. She’s almost ready to fly I think!” she said, “I wondered if you wanted to come and join me? Nobody knows these pre-collapse engines better than you.”

Maybe this was what he needed, to spend some quality time with Violet, to do something that he genuinely loved. Something that would make him feel useful. It wouldn’t stop him aching for old memories, but making new ones could take the sting away.

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” John smirked, groaning as he stood, “Lead the way,”

Accepting her father’s arm, Violet and John made for the hanger.

00000

“Oh my God, you didn’t!” 

“I did.”

“Sharky Boshaw?! But he’s so nice!”

“What can I say, I was a jealous young man at the time,” John sniggered, “Sometimes someone needs to be strung up by the ankles and punched in the kidney to get the message.”

Violet giggled, clutching her cup of tea as she sat with her father in the dying light of the evening. The fire and blankets did a good job of keeping them warm where they sat outside. Soon winter would set in and to sit outside would feel impossible. It was best to enjoy it while they still could.

An afternoon of mechanics had turned into John sharing stories about his life and Rey by the fire.

“What did Mom do when she caught you?” Violet asked enthusiastically. 

“Your mother screamed at me,” John chuckled, “Gave me a real dressing down in front of all the Eden’s Gate followers too! I was mortified.”

“So, what did you do?!”

“What could I do? I cut him down!” John shrugged, “Boshaw was a good sport about it enough, he kept us a secret. I didn’t expect that.” He smiled wistfully, taking a drink of his own tea, “It’s funny, the older you get...the future seems dark but the past, it only gets brighter.”

He remembered that day so clearly. Hanging Boshaw up in his hanger, Rey limping in with her bad knee. She’d been beautiful in her anger, screaming at him to cut the man down. Somehow his irrational behaviour hadn’t driven her away, but she had warned him under no uncertain terms that she wouldn’t tolerate it in the long run. 

He’d changed so much for her, for himself.

“I really miss Mom too,” Violet said quietly. John wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“Rey was so proud of you,” He smiled, “I’m so proud of you. Look at this place, you’re running it better than I ever could!”

The persistent cold that had been bothering him for most of the day continued, his hands and feet always feeling chilled. His chest was tightening, but there was no point in worrying anyone over nothing. Winter was coming and he was an old man. It all felt routine. Still, as he sat by the fire, his neck ached as much as his lower back. Carefully, he pushed himself up to stand.

“I think I’m going to call it a night, angel.” Violet frowned, watching him walk into the house.

“Are you alright?” She asked. John nodded.

“I’m just fine. It’s late and as you love to remind me, I am not a young man anymore,” he insisted, “Good night, Vi,” She stood, rushing over to kiss his cheek.

“Good night. I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Have the coffee ready. I love you, angel,”

“Love you, Dad.”

00000

Climbing the stairs had taken longer than he’d have liked and he suspected there was more to blame than just his bad hip. Everything felt uncomfortable, but not painful, like his skin was too tight for his body. He just needed to lie down for a moment to catch his breath.

Undressing for bed only served to make the cold worse as he climbed into the bed as quickly as he could. His chest ached and lying down did nothing to take the pressure from his neck or back.

Was this what the end felt like? There was no bright light, no flashing of his life before him. God wasn’t shining down on him ready to read out his life story. There was no time to question if he’d have changed anything but the answer was no, he’d have changed nothing. Not a single, God damn thing.    
  
Every problem had its place. His life was what it was. 

There was no light, only the comforting smile of his wife looking up at him from the booth of that diner, bright and as beautiful as ever.

_ I’ve been waiting for you... _

John closed his eyes and smiled one final time.


End file.
